Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 161, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 July 1911 — DEFINITIONS OF LIFE. [ARTICLE]

DEFINITIONS OF LIFE.

The following definitions of life have been obtained with considerable difficulty: A man of merit: “Life is an interval of effort seldom rewarded with success.” —» A sportsman: “Life is an interval of risking your neck to save your liver.” A spendthrift peer writes: “Life is an Interval of debt occasionally relieved by bankruptcy., A British laborer: “Life is an interval of work eventually relieved by the workhouse.” A courtier: “Life is an interval of deceit occasionally rewarded with distinctions.” A territorial magnate: “Life is an interval of disposition occasionally culminating in dyspepsia.” A social celebrity: “Life is an interval of pretense occasionally culminating in exposure.” A politician: “Life is an' interval of unscrupulousness eventually rewarded with office."