Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 150, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 June 1911 — Page 3

Billy Boy

■ Billy Bey sat on the garden steps and gloomily watched Belshazzar's frantic endeavor to dig out a mole. Time was when Billy would have seconded Belshazzar’s efforts —but today he would scarce have turned his head to watch a circus parade. The somber black pall of utter desolation had settled over him and life, which once ■had seemed so fair, mocked him with jits uselessness. v 'V For Billy was in love, and his Hove ;waß scorned, flaunted, derided and refused—and at Billy’s age such things jcount The iron had struck deep into ?his soul and broken off, and the barbs Still rankled. ■ That he had reached the epochal age tof ten before attaining the grand paseon shows at least that he did not ear his heart upon his sleeve. Previously he had sauntered idly along )the primrose path of dalliance, • indulged in tentative flirtations with his murse, his kindergarten teacher, and the pink-cheeked fairy with the flaxen curls who waved him generous kisses with her chubby hands from the adjoining lawn. Then had intervened a period during which he viewed the advances of the gentldr sex with calm disdain, , merging at times on distinct disfavor —as, for Instance, when effusive feminine visitors of uncertain age, alluding to him as “the little dear,” drew him inwardly raging against his fate, within their detested embrace and kissed his freckled face. On the evening of hie tenth birthday he had had a party—such a party! with oceans of pink lemonade and Continents of angel cake, mountain ranges of ice cream, isthmuses of lady-fingers and island of cookies, principalities of pound cake and kingdoms of candy sufficient to allure the gloating gaze of ; the expectant guests—and causea legion of little “tummies” to ache in concert ' (

At the party she appeared, pinkcheeked, adorable dimpled, demure, looking for all the world as though she might have wandered. Just awakened, from some huge gilt frame in the iPlcture gallery—the type of little girl that one instinctively longs surreptitiously to pinch to convince one’s self of her reality; also she lisped enchantingly, and at her advent Billy beheld his, preconceived ideas of femininity take instant flight “Glut you must dance with the other little girls also,” protested hiß mother, gently guiding his reluctant steps where duty pointed, “and I’m afraid Bessie’s mamma would not like to have her eat more than four dishes of Ice cream in one evening.” Bessie—divine name! After a month’s devotion on his .part, Bessie bad passed him on the avenue that forenoon, seated in the donkey cart of the snub-nosed boy across the street, haughtily unconscious of his existence, while he of the snub nose had grinned at him offensively as they passed. True, Billy had sauntered casually across the street later in the day and gravely pummelled the snub-nosed one In the seclusion of the coach house till he howled for mercy, but this consummation of righteous vengeance was at best vicarious punishment for the fickle Bessie. So now, whbn Belshazzar cocked an inquiring ear in his direction and whined eagerly, Billy gloomily disdained his invitation to assist in excavating the mole, and with hands thrust deeply In his pocket viewed, life darkly through disillusioned eyes. Appeared presently arbund the corner of the house Billy's big uncle Jack, likewise engulfed in gloom, with hands in pockets and unlighted pipe despondently aslant, who seated himself beside Billy upon the steps and watched Belshazzar’s efforts dejectedly. An Uncle Jack unsociable, untalkative and downcast of men was distinctly new to Billy’s experience that he viewed the phenomenon with wonderment. Could it bp possible the barbed shafts of Jealousy had likewise entered his soul? With chin in hand Billy pondered upon the problem in silence. Ah! he had It. The cause of Uncle Jack’s woe was plain to him. Around the fickle, the inconstant Bessie revolved an attendant satellite yclept Aunt Agatha, after Whom Billy had lately observed his Uncle Jack dangling quite disgracefully, though why Billy could not understand, certainly she was not pretty—that is, from Billy's standpoint—lacking the adorable Bessie’s pink cheeks and infantile plumpness, likewise her bewitching lisp. Then, too, she blushed if spoken to suddenly, which Billy regarded as a foolish habit, and once In the early stages of their acquaintance when he had shown her a little green snake no longer than that. She had shuddered with horror and begged him to take the horrid thing away, whereupon he had stuffed the offending reptile back Into his pocket together with this handkerchief, three china marbles, and a Hump of chewing gum, and sulked disdainfully away. Still, if Uncle Jack liked that sort of a girl—all right There was no .accounting far tastes. Belshazzar, despairing at last of capturing the mole, oocked an ear inquiringly st each of his audience In turn, and, neither offering further dtvertlsernent, curled himself up comfortably between Billy's feet and went to sleep. Billy cogitated further. Unde Jack' * K* - M

By MAITLAND L. OSBORNE

had ofeenly evinced a pronounced fondness for the society Of Bessie’s aunt and now when by all precedent he should have been playing golf with her, he was sitting on the garden steps staring gloomily at nothing. Fbr this state of affairs there could be but one plausible explanation. Bessie’s aunt had deceived Uncle Jack, even as Bessie had deceived him. Girls were all alike. .•£&£,.<• Then suddenly he rememberd having seen her whizzing down the avenue earlier in the day in Mr. Stanhope’s auto, with Mr. Stanhope at the steering wheel. That luckless individual had once patronizingly addressed him as “my little man,” and Billy detested him accordingly. “I’ll punch him,” reflected Billy aloud, vindictively. “Who—what?" asked Uncle Jack, startled. * “Mr. Stanhope,” explained Billy.' saw Bessie’s aunt out riding with him in his auto.” I 7 Uncle Jack stared. Then he laughed. “Well you are an observant little beggar,” he conceded admiringly. “Though? that isn’t the root of the difficulty, Billy Boy. Mr. Stanhope is merely an accessory after the sact — non particeps criminis, as it were.” This being too deep for Billy’s comprehension, he ignored it and opened up a new line of investigation. “What is the matter, then?” he demanded calmly. > f “We quarreled,” confessed Uncle Jack. “What about?” Billy’s inquisitorial tune was recognized and feared on accaslons by all the family. t Uncle Jack shrugged his shoulders. "You can search me,” he answered expressively. ‘1 don’t know what about. The fact remains that we did quarrel, and now she won’t speak to me, so I can’t tell her I’m sorry and ask her to make up.” “Are you sorry?” demanded Billy. “Oh, yes, I’m sorry all right,” admitted Uncle'Jack with a rueful laugh. “However, that don’t mend matters any, so don’t bother your curly head about it, Billy Boy. You’ll have troubles of your own some, day.” Billy thought of the Inconstant Bessie and wisely remained silent. Belshazzar, waking, stretched higiself lazily and wandered out of sight around the corner of the house. Billy, absorbed in thought, followed. If Uncle Jack really wanted to make up, surely Bessie’s aunt ought to be informed of the fact. “I’H go tell her.” decided Billy sagely. , v Behold then presently Billy trudging sturdily up the street with Belshazzar tagging happily at his heels. When he had turned the first corner he spied Bessie’s aunt, book in hand, comfortably ensconced in a hammock in the shelter of a tiny summer house. Making their way directly across the lawn, Billy and Belshazzar appeared before her with disconcerting suddenness. “Why—how do you do, Billy Boy?” said Bessie’s aunt a little uncertainly. It was hard to presage what a-visit from Billy might portend. “How do you do?” responded Billy with owl-likb gravity; then wrinkling his forehead thoughtfully, he regarded her with unwinking gaze for an appreciable space of time. ’“I don’t think you’re pretty," he stated at last judicially. Bessie’s aunt laughed delieiouatly. "To tell the truth, Billy,” she admitted confidentially, “I don’t think so either.” “But I guess my Uncle Jack does,” continued Billy, whereat Bessie’s aunt forgot to laugh and blushed instead. “And he don’t know what you and him quarreled about,” went on Billy gravely, “but he’s sorry anyway, and it wasn’t about Mr. Stanhope, because he says Mr. Stanhope is 'a non—non—something that I forget, but if I was Uncle Jack I’d punch him,” said Billy, doubling up his fists belligerently. “Anyway, I think Uncle Jack is lots nicer than Mr. Stanhope," he added. “So do I,” admitted Bessie’s aunt, after thoughtful consideration. “And did you say he was BorryT’ she\adked. Billy nodded emphatically. “Well—if he’s sorry—” Bessie’s aunt was visibly impresesd. “Why—there’s Uncle Jack now!” announced Billy, pointing an accusing finger. “Unde Jack! Uncle Jack!” he called shrilly.

Uncle Jack turned his' head, but It was not at Billy that he looked. He must have read forgiveness in the glance of Bessie’s aunt, for a moment later he was crossing the lawn. *Tm afraid my small nephew has been disturbing you," he apologized, picking up the book that Bessie’s aunt had conveniently dropped, and carefully restoring it to her. “Not in the least,” smiled Bessie’s aunt “We’ve been exchanging confidences on—oh, lots of personal matters.” She hunted diligently fer the place she had lost when she dropped the book. “He says you are sorry.” ”1 am abjectly repentant." he assured her gravely. Bessie aimeared, pinked-cheeked, adorably dimpled, demure. At eight of Billy she chewed reflectively on one chubby finger and smiled at him ingenuously. “Leth go see my while rabbity Billy ” she cooed alluringly. Billy went

THE task of completing the battleship Wyoming, which was launched the other day at Camden, N. J., is propressing rapidly. She will be the biggest ship of the American navy, haring a displacement of 26,000 tons and a speed of 20 knots an hour. She will carry 12 12-inch guns, 21 5-lnch rapid fire guns, 4 3-pounders; 2 1pounders and 2 3-inch guns. .-'-L' : ,X.v

TO CURE INSOMNIA

Dance Hornpipe, Whistle, Sing and Do Anything “Mad.” English Doctor Declares Few Minutes of Boisterousness Just Before Going to Bed Will Act as a Sleep Producer. . London.—Dance a hornpipe, whistle, sing and do anything “mad” you can think of ten minutes before going to bed—ls you would sleep soundly and well. Be as merry as yOu can during that ten minutes. Make faces at yourself In a glass, waltz your way upstairs,,' and conclude with a lively two-step and. If you are an athlete, a somersault on the bedroom carpet These were some of the Ideas given by a well-known doctor as a remedy for insomnia. Just about this time many people are suffering from sleeplessness. In one case a man, who ordinarily sleeps soundly the whole night through, has scarcely slept a wink for the past four or five days. “Sleeplessness is probably a common ailment at the present time owing to the frequent changes of weather,” said the doctor whose views are given above. “Much, however, depends upon the Individual temperament and one’s state of health. Political excitement may account for Insomnia among many people. "As for remedies for sleeplessness, I do not believe in the many 'serious cures which are offered by well-mean-ing doctors an^Tothers to the public. “Sufferers are advised to do Swedish drill or other exercises before going to bed, and then, when between the Bheets, to add up colosaal sums, cotint innumerable imaginary sheep jumping visionary gates and work out anagrams. “My views are quite different For ten minutes before going to bed a man should, in my opinion, give him-

SLEEPING ON BACK IS BAD

It Makee Women Thin and Fiat Chested, Bays Dr. Moots of Toledo —Cause of Appendicitis. Cleveland.—Dr. C. W. Moots of Toledo proposed a ready and efficacious cure for angular, flat chested and sharp-faced women at the Ohio medical convention. “Women sleep too much upon their backs,” sajd he. “Family physicians should advise them to lie upon their sides, or better yet upon their stomachs. This would prevent internal disorders and the consequent necessity of a surgeon.” Dr. ( Rufus B. Hall of Cincinnati issued a call for more operations for appendicitis. , “The time for a surgeon to operate for appendicitis,” said Dr. Hall, “is the very identical moment that he lays his hands upon the case. More operations and quicker operations would mean leas fatalities.” He blamed colic when infants for appendicitis suffered by grownups.

Tips Net Fortune for Maid.

New York. —With a fortune she acquired on tips received in the three and one-half years she served as maid in the women’s parlor at the Hotel St Regis, Mlsar Helen Wollan, 22 years old, has said goodby to New York. She left for Europe and will maks„fc«r future home with her mother in Vienna. She saved $6,000 in the time she was employed at the St. Regia.

Boy at School Every Day.

Franklin. Pa.—Lewis Ely, who graduated from the Franklin high school, never missed even half a day during the 12 years of his school life- He was publicly commend*! by the school

WORK ON NEW SEA FIGHTER PROGRESSES

self over to childish, light-hearted amusements. If he feels depressed he should force himself to outward merriment “All men who work hard ail day should devote this ten minutes to foolery. They should be as ‘mad’ as they can be without exhausting themselves too much. “I know of one man who us,ed to recite Lewis Carroll’s TTou Are Old, Father William,’ and then turn a somersault before getting into bed. “I don’t suppose he did it every night but that man had the right spirit:—and he slept like a top till morning. “If you feel weighed down with cares and needless worries just take my advice and waltz lightly round the room with an Imaginary partner. “Afterwards imagine you are a small boy, say ‘Presto!’ turn a somersault, and climb into bed. Once In bed, hum bars of any music that occurs to you, so that It be cheerful music. “Foolery has a great cheering and sedative effect on the mind of a tired man. Insomnia patients should give toy ‘cure’ a serious trial. It will sweep cares from the mind for a few minutes, and before they come back you are asleep." ' ~ l

Snares Monster Lobster.

New Yoirk.—Biggest among the fine lobsters caught In many a day at Bermuda was that snared by William E. Leavitt, who forthwith gave his friends at the St George hotel, on the Island, a real feast of the epicurean variety. Mr. Leavitt’s monster lobster was caught in a wire pot If it had possessed claws like the lobsters caught anywhere around New York there might have been trouble before the crustacean was landed safe and sound in a pot on the hotel range, but as the Bermuda lobsters are without the wicked “grab hooks,” no one was pinched.

LEG IS GRAFTED ON

Progress of Surgery Makes Limbs Interchangeable. Feat Will Bo Accomplish*** Within Shost Time, Declares Dr. Victor D. Lssplnasso—Much Difficulty In Finding Patient Chicago.—“ Surgery has made such rapid strides in the last year that I confidently expect the grafting of arms and legs on human beings will be accomplished within a short time.” This was the striking declaration of Dr. Victor D. Lepinasse of tho medical staff of Northwestern university, today. Through a series of operations at the medical college, which Included the sating of an Infant’s life during the last week by transfusion. Dr. Lespinassd has attained world-wide fame as a specialist in repairing diseased tisanes. He is the discoverer of the system of linking arteries together by the use of rings of magnesium. “The one thing that has stood in the way of the successful grafting of limbs,” continued the specialist, “is to obtain subjects willing to make the sacrifice to the cause of science. No one is willing to give up a perfectly good leg or arm to another man Who has lost his. The grafted limb must be allvf, of course, to make the operation successful There are a score of different conditions which must be inet before the operation can be attempted. “I believe that some physician soon wffl meet all the conditions and make a success of ft “More than a year ago we attempt-

HIDDEN LURE FOR BACHELOR

Once Within the Maelstrom’s Edge No Unattached Man Can Escape Marriage—Make Better Husbands. Berwick, Pa. —The Berwick Widows’ association, now in its fourth jrear, has, it is asserted, a more serious purpose in view than mere frivolity. The real and hitherto concealed plan, It is now, alleged, is to find suitable second, third or fourth husbands for its members. Every member on joining was forced to take a "secrecy pledge,” in which she agreed not to divulge the real reason for the formation of the association. But recently a real mean individual came across the minute book In which were recorded the “doings” of every meeting. According to the minutes of the last meeting, It was unanimously decided to hold the annual picnic of the association this year on the same date and at the same place at which the "Berwick Bachelors’ club,” will hold its annual meeting. Following this entry is the naive remark that "it Is the consensus of opinion among the members of the association that Werwick bachelors make better husbands than do Imported masculines.” Mrs. Ella Walker la the president of the association and has been since Its formation. The members meet weekly at the home of one of them and report progres on their matrimonial ventures. The next meeting will soon be held, at the home of Mrs, Gertrude Gibbons. At that time ; furtber arrangements will be made for the summer picnic and for the winning members of the “Berwick Bachelors’ club.”

Eagle Drops on Vessel.

San Francisco.—Exhausted after a long fight of several days In the wake of the transport Buford, ah American eagle dropped aboard that vessel at a point nearly 100 miles off the Aleutian islands. The bird was thoroughly spent from the long journey, and members of the troop ship experienced no difficulty in capturing 1L

ed limb grafting on animals. The arteries were knitted together and the blood circulated freely. We did not have a single deatx The animals are alive now. ~ ; ■ y ‘lf this operation is successful with animals, there is no reason why human beings cannot be mended in the same way. ‘Tor example, a railroad wreck pocurs and an arm of a victim Is severed. If be is rushed to the hospital In time the severed limb may be grafted back without danger. It would be practically impossible to get another man to give up his arm to replace the severed member. This is about the only thing In the patffi of this triumph of surgery. “Although the saving of an Infant's life by transfusion is not s common operation, it has been performed successfully a number of times. Last week a father's arm was bound to ltat of bis child and the baby was saved. It is merely a feat of Joining the arteries together; the Joining of dismembered limbs would be no more difficult” In proof of his statements tbe doctor has photographs of a number of dogs with grafted legs. The livers had been removed and reunited in some of tbe dogs. Several of the animals are traveling on the grafted legs. Dr. Leplnasse's fame is based chiefly on his discovery of tbe magnesium rings for binding arteries. He says the old method of stitching is unsuccessful because of the formation of blood clots.

Great Poet Saw the Light.

The drying Up of a alngls tear has more of honest fame than shedding seas of gore.—Byron.

THE FOOL

0« ttofSjSwM • fool.l, not .1wwfooltardjr. A fool !#i the hctot who is fofgottetf the next morning. A fool is h* who not only fills the want, but wfurfs to fill it A fool there was, is and always wfU be world without end. Amen! A fool leXhe fellow who introduces his best girt to his best friend. A fool is the peacemaker, and somehow a peacemaker is never forgiven. A fool is one who puts all his trust in one woman, and finds she ish’t the one. A fool is the trusting stranger who has been taken in by his truest (?) friend. ~ - r -.-r '■ V'- *! *' -?< -5 A fool is on© who, having fought for a friend, is told by him to mind hie own business. • W&k- ' A fool sayeth in his heart, “There is none more wish than I,” and’fools himself into believing it * A fool an 4 his money are easily parted, but at the time of parting he is termed a “good fellow.” A fool rushes in where An angel fears to tread, but if he gets the wings to fly out he is termed a wise old owL

WORLDLY WISDOM

A hard-working man always seems to be lucky. < i A woman’ln half mourning doesn’t seem to mind her grief much. Before I die Ifd like to find something better than I expected it would be. If you keep a good resolution only a day, it has done you at least a day's .good. . Nothing looks prettier on a woman than a white apron with a big bow at the back. 1 : - Do you laugh at ugly people? And are you above suspicion in that particular yourself? There Is the same dull routine about love affairs that there iswbedt meals at a boarding house. < They say an Old fool is the worst fool; still, I know some young ones that would be hard to beat After a man has been out of congress awhile people say, “Yon wouldn’t think that man had ever been in congress, would you?” ) How well dressed, neat people are admired! Do yon pay as much attention to your personal appearance as you should? Care in this particular pays big dividends.

QUOTH SIR MICHAEL.

William Samuel Johnson has, to his new novel, “Glamourie,” put into the mouth of his hunchback philosopher many quotable skyings. Here are some of them: _ Paris is the only city that thinks. A . good big quand-meme ,a mighty notwithstanding is often a rowel to the soul. "Walk it off” is not a bad system of philosophy for any creature with legs! I wanted the Over-Soul! And what did I find—swords! . . . Spirituality must be kept In solution to be bathed in, wgfldWed in. Now in your New England it has crystallized; and your Boston is the biggest, hardest crysUl of aIL Only one ayitdhi whereby an individual can be educated: Keep a stream of knowledge running through his brain—what he needs will stick there! _ Paris lies before the eyes as the picture he morns to paint glows in the mind of the artist, as the symphony he meanr to write sings in the mind of the musician. - Y _ The only thing worth saying moat be done before can be said.

UNCLE EZRA BEGS TO REMARK

"The rollin’ sti» gathers no barnacles. either.” "When oppertunerty knocks at the door unia folks act stow* 't-** ‘ Mif'io*! ** . . / 'a, ■ a-.' ■«7>a