Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 142, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 June 1911 — Page 3

Good Jokes

SLEEP AND LET SLEEP. ~ •Pre.-*. •*-’• -^y* ? ‘ It was in the small hours of a muggy morning. From-a seat near the Mudhan dockcs where he had spent the night. Pat watched the Merely Mary Ann aa she loomed out of the. “Want a job?” asked the foreman, suddenly appearing. “ ’ “Shore, it's only six o’clock,” complained Pat. “Never mind that,” retorted the foreman. “We want a man to help us gfijßoad that ship." “What's the cargo?" asked Pat “Sleepers,” said the foreman shortly. “Sleepers, bedad!” exclaimed PaL with his fingers to his lips. “Shure. didn't Oi tell yer it was too soon to start work? We mustn’t be waitin' ’em up so early in the mornin’l”

Seeds That Failed.

Fair Patron—Those morning glories you sold me are no use. Seedsman What's the matter, ma'am ? "They never opened." “Those seeds, mum, were Imported direct from China, mum, and, bein’ day over there when it's night here, I suppose, mum, they do their bloomin’ after you get to sleep.”—New York Weekly.

A Critical Case.

The Doctor —Mrs. Browning telephoned me to come over and see her husband. I must go at once. His Wife—What is the matter with him? . ■ The Doctor —I don’t know. But Mrs. Browning has a book entitled “What to Do Before the Doctor Comes,” and I must get there before she does it.

Uninformed.

“My dear friend," says the platltudinously impressive gentleman of an. •plifting turn of mind, “I trust that you are not led to envy me because of my wealth. I assure you that money cannot buy happiness.” "How do you know?” asked the other. “I never heard of your spending, any of yours.”—Judge.

OF COURSE NOT.

She —People do not often marry f their first loves. He—No, not often. At least, not more than once.

A Cruel Deceiver.

» She calls him “Pet” And likewise “Honey," But her heart is set On alimony.

His Disadvantage.

“My wife la always able to buy., things much more cheaply than 1 can." “How do you account Wr it?" “Well, when I am dealing with a pretty girl clerk I haven't the heart to let her think I can’t afford to pay the first price asked, and when a man Is waiting on me I am always afraid ft may lead to a fight if I intimate to him that he is lying when he says he Is not authorised to cut the price.**

Dissipating Them.

“Jaggs is a grouchy sort of fellow. No matte rhow often you meet him, he always has a ehlp on bis ahoub her. “Yea, but the other day bo made one of the biggest fellows I ever saw, mad. and the fellow wont for him and made the chips fly.”

Judicial Propriety.

“1 hate men who won't express an opinion. There’s that justice of the peace I asked some unimportant political question, and bo refused to commit himself." “That’s all right. He’s not a com mltttng magistrate." _

Turning the Tables.

Mr. Youngwed (complacently)— I suppose you know there were several young ladies disappointed when 1 mar ried you? ’ Mrs. Youngwed Yea. my girl friends had prophesied a brilliant future for me.

Where's One?

•There used to be a famous steer in Missouri named ’Ever Onward.'" "That would be a fine name for a mule, if one could ba found that wouldn’t balk."

APPREHENSIONS.

A comet came some time ago. " . We tetred some deadly stroke. The days went safely by and. to! The comet is a joke. ' The trusts we used to grimly vow Disaster would provoke. r ~- But those predictions strike us now As something of a joke. They used to say the railways would Leave everybody broke. But they are trying to be good. :■ Our fears are but a joka. Each terror that looms up Immense, - All wreathed in sulphurous smoke. We always find, a few months hence. Was nothing but a joke.

HARMONY.

Mrs. Noobride —My busband and 1 always act in concert Mrs. Oldun —I’m astonished! 1 bad no idea that either of you were musicians.

A Comfortable Voyage.

Sall on, O silver moon. In state! You’re luckier than a ship. For you no customs men will wait When you complete your trip.

Driving It Home.

-- Mrs. Dorkins—l couldn’t see that the story Mr. Throgglns told you at the party was so awfully funny. Yet you spoke of it as a “regular rib tickler.” Mr. Dorkins —So it was, Marla; so it was. Didn’t you notice that when be came to what seemed to be the point of it he nudged me in the ribs?

Something Different.

"I don’t believe there is anything in that talk about Harlow being hard up,” said Little Blnks. Why, he’s just blossomed forth with a footman on his motor.” "Footman!’’ echoed Jinkinson, derisively. “Footman is good! That isn't a footman —It’s a deputy marshal In charge of the car.”—Harper’s Weekly.

A Vague Compliment.

Smith (talking to Wegg)—There’s a magnificent fellow who would be an ornament to the bench! Jones —He would be highly complimented to know you thought so much of his law. Smith—Pshaw, man! 1 didn't mean the man for a judge. I was talking of his dog for the show. ’*

Length.

“Well,” panted the defeated foot racer, "you won fairly, but you beat me by only a nose?' “Huh!* gasped “the other; “I beat you half a yard.” “Yes; that’s what Lsaid." At which point the hasty interference of the referee became necessary.

Monotonously Regular.

“How often do the 17 year locusts visit you?" the traveler absent mlndedly asked. “O, about every five or six years,”. the westerner answered with a yawn. “I—l beg your pardon; I wasn't thinking what I was saying.” “’Sall right, cap'n; neither was L"

NOTHING TO BACK IT.

Miss Millions —If you want to succeed you must have confidence la yourself. Mr. Noah Rocks —How can a man have confidence In himself when he only gets tlO a week?

Elusive.

The war scare’s wondrous path wa trace Across tha lands and wu so wida; It never lln<ara In on* place TH! It can b« Identified.

Our International Game.

Parry—l see those bush league chaps down in Mexico are putting a few over the border. Oorrick—Yes, and if they keep up that careless style of dinging Umpire Sam win begin calling balls on ’em

ALONG THE COAST OF MOROCCO

THE Moroccan coast extends, approximately, as far south as Cape Juhy, almost parallel with Las Palmas; at least you will find it neatly ruled oft there on the map. In reality the frontier is a nebulous, shifting affair, that shades off imperceptibly throughout a hundred miles, or more,, of desert, merging into that equally nebulous region known as the French Sphere of Influence. This southern . border Is the county of the Touaregs, those wild marauders of the desert, who rove over a tract of the continent half as large as the whole United States. A race of pure nomads, without government, without cities, or crops, or agriculture of any kind, these Touaregs, said by ethnologists to be entirely distinct from both Arab or negro, are a part of that strange, secret empire of northern Africa, the fanatical, underground empire of the Mohammedan sect known as the Senoussi. An intangible, mysterious affair is this secret league, impalpable as the air, yet wielding an enormous power that makes it the strongest bulwark Africa puts up to protect itself from the march of European civilization. Just south of Cape Juby, where the Sahara turns the flank of the protecting spurs of the Atlas range, is the place where Fax Lebaudy, the son of France’s “sugar king,” tried to establish his “Empire of the Sahara,” with his court, composed of the frail favorites of Parisian dance halls, and his army made up of French ragamuffins, officered by the discard of European society. Mogador, the first port of call, is apt to be a disappointment to those dreaming of the Arabian Nights and expecting to be landed among roses, oases and odalisques. In any oriental port much must be allowed for oriental imagery, but Mogador is hardly more eastern in appearance than'Las Palmas, just a mass of white houses on a land-locked bay. This bay is deceptive in its placidity, all along the coast it is understood that steamer landings are to be made “surf permitting,” and Mogador is no exception; it is all right once you are inside, but first there is the bar to be negotiated. There is a legend in Mogador, also to be met with in every other port as far south as St Paul de Loanda, of a shipment of furniture for a newly married consul—in Accra they tell it of the governor, and in Lagos of the bishop—that spent an entire winter going up and down the coast and back and forth to England with never a chance of landing. A comparatively modern town, with straight streets, Mogador looks far more Spanish than Moorish. It is quite a sophisticated place, with a large trade and a considerable European colony, of late years much augmented in the winter by tourists. For some reason the surrounding country Is much safer than even the country about Tangier, in plain sight of the lights of Gibraltar. This fact, together with its climate and the splendid shooting to be had, have made it a favorite rendezvous for sportsmen. Of late years It has lost much of its trade, owing to the completion of the French railway to Tlmbuctoo; before that scores of caravans, some of them thousands of camels strong, left Mogador every year tor the markets of the southern Sahara, but now the trade goes prosaically In freight cars from Senegal. But though the town lacks, something of local color, though the minarets are only square, squat towers, and though domes and Moorish arcades are conspicuous by their ab aence, the population is as purely oriental as could be wished. Stately Arabs in flowing burnouses, nearly naked tribesmen from the desert, veiled ladies wrapped tn huge white sheets, like walking bundles of laundry, shuffling Jews In. sad-colored robes, green turbaned marabouts, bare-legged Moors, and scores of those greasyhaired Syrians who penetrate to every part of the tropical world, they flow np and down the streets. North of Mogador the coast trends away eastward, ftnnetlmes the boats call at Sail! and Masagan, but more frequently the next port of call is Rabat, just across the river from Sallee. Sallee and Rabat have a chequered history, sufficiently frenzied to suit the

most romantic taste. For 300 years the Sallee Rovers were the terror of the European coasts as far north as Biscay and Marseilles, and it is said that at one time there were over 10,000 Christians held as slaves in the town. Rabat is the port of entry and the residence of the consuls. Sallee is closed to foreigners, and -permission must be had from its governor before one can set foot on its dilapidated quays. Surrounded by its battlemented walls, Sallee is almost a sacred city in its purely Mohammedan exclusiveness, and its Inhabitants rank far above those of the open ports; not a Christian Is allowed to dwell in the town. Built in a time when it was enormously wealthy it is said, by those who have visited it, to be literally a city of palaces; but Moorish palaces are so constructed that hardly a hint of their grandeur reaches the eye of the passers-by. All the art and luxury is within, lavished on the interior court and its surrounding galleries and rooms, and all that the outside affords is a series of blank walls, with occasional barred windows, and a green-painted door, studded with huge nails and banded with iron. Northward again from Rabat is Laralche, which greets one with a note of actual western enterprise in the way of a steam tug to tow~ the freight lighters over the bar. Its picturesque jumble of gray towers, white walls and pink and yellowwashed houses, makes a briliant picture against the blue sky, but, like 'all the other ports, Laralche is best seen from the bay, Moorish sanitation is a thing to be carefully passed over and left undescribed. The big, white lighthouse at Cape Spartel comes into view, the sky streaked with the smoke of steamers bound In and out of the Straits, the bold outlines of the mountains round Tarifa loom trough the haze. The silence and the mystery, the bluegreen nights, the golden airs and the wide, vacant spaces of sea and land have gone; this is a high road of commerce, just round the corner lies Gibraltar, where the people are playing tennis, drinking tea and banging out the latest comic songs on their pianos. At Tangier. Rounding a point, the steamer drops anchor off Tangier. From the Inside the orientalism of Tangier is a bit faded, there is too much of the boulevards, or rather, of the Midway "Streets of Cairo" and of Barcelonese underworld, mixed in with it To one fresh from the rigidly Mohammedan cities to the south the difference is at once apparent; here are whole streets of Spanish, and Gibraltar "Scorpions," the offscourings of every port from Cadis to Genoa, and the Jews live where they please, instead of being confined to a "Mellah,” as the Moors call a Ghetto. Here are case signs in French, Spanish and weird English, a constant coming and going of tourists in gray tweeds and fluttering veils, the bazaars are piled with imitation Moorish “junk," manufactured In Germany, and displayed for the trapping of the unwary. And everywhere are shifty-eyed Individuals, in violently Moorish attire, who accost the stranger with unpleasantly leering offers to act as “guide;" one wonders what fanatical, exclusive Sallee would say to all this? But seen from the bay, before landing, the illusion is still perfect; a sweep of green hills, dotted with villas, and at their foot a mass of gleaming white houses. One tall minaret dominates the city, a few date palms thruat their crests above the maze of flat roofs. In the harbor is a tangje of shipping, fishing boats and coasting vessels, with lateen sails and pair ted prows, jostle black-sided steamers with tall funnels; there is a horde of small boats, a swirl of white draperies and bare legs, a babel 6f voices, and the Inevitable, wearying stare of fierce, black eyes. There may be a suspicion of pose about it all, a lurking suggestion that possibly Tangier has found the easiest way of making a living is to be just a little more aggressively itself than ever, but, at first sight, it is as truly oriental as even the out-of-tho-world cities down south, between the ocean and the desert.

CHARLES SAXBY.

CLOSETS UP TO DATE

STORAGE PLACES ARE MIRACLES OF CONVENIENCE. New York Newspaper Describes Receptacles That May Be Envy of Any Housewife Wonderful Nursery Appurtenance. s Women architects, it is said, resent the association of their names with closets. “Just as If we couldn't build anything but closets,*' one of them snapped the other day, “and just as if any sensible man architect couldn't make all the closets that are necessary!” ' So the Tribune repeater knew better than to make guesses about the sex of the architect, great as was the temptation, when the mistress of the new house began displaying her closets. “In every one there are electric lights;*' she explained proudly, -“and they are turned on and off with the opening and shutting of the door. No matches, no candle to blow in thedraft and set fire to things, and no waste of electricity. Isn’t that a scheme?” Then she showed off her closets for shoes and hats. Each pair' of shoes had a separate compartment fitted with shoe trees. The hat compartments were fitted out with millinery standards to keep the hats from being crushed. The proud mother had a wonderful closet In the nursery. It contained sliding shelves set quite closely together, one above the other. They were very deep, but made of a light wood, so that they were not heavy. An entire shelf, with its contents, can be lifted out easily and carried like a tray to any place where it is needed. The bottom shelf, covered with white rubber. Is to be used for a toilet table. On it were a pretty papier mache basin, soap dish and powder boxes. On each of the other shelves complete baby outfits were laid out, ready for use. The architect who planned the linen closet certainly knew woman's wants. It looked like a row of deep drawers, but Instead of pulling out, the front pieces were hinged and let down like a desk cover, supported by chains. Behind were the shelves or recesses, piled with linen. In sorting or arranging the linen the front of the drawer serves as a table—New York Tribune.

Laundering Crepe.

To launder a cotton crepe waist soak for an hour in takewarm soapsuds, using any good soap. Then wash carefully, so as not to stretch. Shake well and pull lengthwise. Hang on a coat hanger and put in the sun to dry. This helps to keep the shape across the shoulders. It is best to cover the coat hanger with a Turkish towel or clean cloth. It is also a good plan to tack a piece of tape from the neck to the armhole. When laundered in this manner crepe waists will retain both their appearance and their shape. - 7

Salad Dressing.

Heat one-half cup vinegar in a double boiler. In a bowl mix two level teaspoons of mustard, two level teaspoons ealt, three tablespoons sugar (level), one-fourth teaspoon paprika or little less if you use cayenne. Aid three eggs when cheap, two when prices are high. Beat, then add one cup thick cream or one of thin with one tablespoon butter and beat. Add this mixture to the hot vinegar and cook until smooth and thick, not too thick, as it thickens as it cools. After it is cooked strain and cool.

Mustard Greens.

Wash the mustard leaves thoroughly, cut them in shreds or run them through a food shopper and put them pver the fire, dripping wet, in a tightly covered saucepan. If necessary, add water very judiciously, in small quantities, so there will be no liquid on the greens when they are done. Season with salt and cayenne pepper, and stir in one tablespoonful of cornmeal, sprinkling It carefully and stirring hard so it will not form lumps. Let the greens cook until they and the meal are thoroughly done.

Baked Bean Rabbit.

One teaspoon of butter, one cup mashed baked beans, one cup boiled rice, one cup milk, two teaspoons grated lemon rind, one teaspoon grated onion, one-half teaspoon pepper, one scant teaspoon salt, one beaten egg; Melt butter ta chafing dish, add other ingredients except egg, mix well and heat thoroughly, then stir in the egg and serve hot on crackers with pickles.

Genoa Dish.

Stew one dozen tomatoes until soft, add a little sugar, salt, and cayenne. Put through a colander, return to fire. In a frying pan heat three large tablespoonfuls of butter, break into it rapidly six eggs, stirring all the tlme. As soon aa eggs are broken and mixed add the tomatoes, then add quickly three tablespoonfuls of grated Parmesan cheese. Eat with brown bread.

Deviled Biscuit

Make a seasoning of cayenne, anchovy pasta, salt and curry powder, butter some captain’s biscuits or rolls cut in two, lay the mixture and grill, or make a pesto of cheese, mustard and salt, and spread over when toasted; butter unsparingly; time, from five to ten minutes.

DULL POLISH IS CALLED FOR

•liver Must Not Be Made Too Bright' -i-®ome Hints as to Proper Care of Tableware. Do not give your silver a bright! polish, for the vogue now is to havel antique silver for the toilet table as well as for the dintag table. You will have to do the polishing cleverly if you do not want it to as-' sume the brightness of newly manufactured sliver, so you must know how to remove the discoloration without too much brlliancy appearing. Do you know that a bath in soapy water that Is boiling hot is quite as, effective as polish if a little ammonia is added to the water? After washing it should be rinsed tq clear, hot water, and you will find, that all spots will have vanished. Too high a polish will not appear if wiped with coarse dry towels as each piece emerges from the bath. You should make it a point never to leave a lot of silver to dry by draining, and the water collect on other sections, thus losing the cleaq look that is supposed to be supplied by the washing and quick drying necessary.. If silver which is In constant use is washed in this way it will not need polishing more than once a month at the most, and then the pollshmn should be done discreetly, so that the new appearance is not given to it In homes where gas Is used as an lllumlnant the silver discolors soon, though if mantles are used on the jets It reduces this to some extent

MAKES THE SCRUBBING EASIER

Handle for Floor Brush Easy to Arrange and Will Relievo Many an Aching Back. The back breaking labor of floor scrubbing may be easily avoided by arranging a handle for the floor brush.

as shown in illustration. An old handle from a broom or mop will answer the purpose splendidly; this la, set into a hole bored In the top of brush and further by nailing three short strips of metal to the handle, and also to the top of brush, as illustrated. By changing the position of handle upon brush, thia can also be applied to adapting an ordinary floor brush to- a window washing brush.—Homestead.

Lemon Cake in Three Layers.

Whites of three eggs; one cup sugar, one-fourth cup of butter; beat thoroughly, then add one and a half cups flour with one and a half teaspoons baking powder carefully sifted together, a half teacup of sweet milk, and after a good stirring together divide into three parts for the three layers and bake. Cover the layers with a sauce made as follows: Beat together the following ingredients and cook until thick, stlrrlpg constantly: Yolks of two eggs, juloe and grated rind of one lemon, one-half cup of sugar, one-fourth cup of butter.

For the War Appetite.

To Make Mexican Chill Con Carne.— Soak two cupfuls of chill beans over night, boil three hours, add pounds of chopped beef, a tablespoonful of salt, cayenne pepper and chili powder to suit taste. 801 l together for 20 minutes one quart of tomatoes, three tablespoonfuls of camena seed and a chopped onion. Rub through a sieve, add to the beans and meat, also a tablespoonful of butter or a piece of pork fat chopped fine. Keep covered with water and cook. The longer chill cooks the better it Is.

Mulligatawney Soup.

Take three quarts of liquor in which two chickens have been boiled, and add four onions, one carrot, two turnips and one head of celery, cut up fine. Set over a hot fire anti 1 it begins to boil and then aside to simmer for 20 minutes. Then add one tablespoonful of curry powder and flour. Mix well and boil three minutes and strain. Tn serving add some pieces of the white meat of the chicken. 9 If too thick add boiling water.

Spanish Cream.

Soak one-half box gelatine ta one quart of milk for one hour. Then put on the fire and stir until it begins to thicken. Add the yolks of three wellbeaten eggs and a cup of sugar. When it comes to the boiling point strain into a mold and flavor with vanilla. Beat the whites with three tablespoonfuls of sugar, flavor with vanilla, and use aa a sauce when the cream Is ready to serve.

Smothered Chicken.

Split a spring chicken down the back,- double the flippers under the back and crocs the legs naturally; put a little butter all over the chicken and dust It with pepper, salt and flour; place it in a baking pan, cover it with a second pan, set it in a hot oven for IS minutes, or until browned, then turn it over, add a cup of water, cover It again with the pan and cook until tender.

New Strawberry Shortcake.

Cut puff pastry tn squares or round pieces, then bake. Whenhm|d spread with sweetened, crushed fl|M|erriee. then cover with another rtraad of paste, spread strawberries on top.