Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 138, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 June 1911 — Fisk Stories by Sid Sehanlaub Rival Tables of Baron Munchasen. [ARTICLE]

Fisk Stories by Sid Sehanlaub Rival Tables of Baron Munchasen.

Kentland Democrat Punch Hawkins, 4 while in the vicinity of Ox Bow the other evening, was startled by a piercing scream and the next Instant Punch was attacked by a monster carp, the fish knocking him down and biting him in sundry and divers places before Punch finally suceeded in securing a half-Nelson on the critter and breaking its neck. ----- Corrington Doliarhide, on going into his cellar one day last week, was surprised and pained to find a twentypound carp devouring a crock of cream, eating with that' gulping sound peculiar to the self-made man while dining between trains. The carp, upon seeing Corrington, made a quick getaway by leaping through a window, after first knocking over four crocks of milk with its tall. A week ago Lige Marley, to use his exact words, had as “purty a chanst fer a crop of corn es ever ye sot eyes on,” but Lige is sad, moaning around, chewing immoderate quantities of “nachel leaf’ and anathematizing the fates. During the silent watches of the night carp by the hundreds invaded Lige’s holdings, rooted up his seed corn and ate it, and, not satisfied with that, upset his >corn planter and carried off a neckyoke and a single tree. Lige, as already stated, was sorely vexed over the matter, but what could he do? Israel Foxworthy was fishing for bass in “frenchman’s slough” when his dog plunged into the water, presumably to investigate a nearby muskrat house. The dog had swam two rods scarcely, when he began agitating the ambient air with nervous, gasping ejaculations, concluding by suddenly disappearing from view. Israel gathered up a long, lithe fish pole and rushed to the help of doggie, to find the animal in the grasp, as you might say, of a muscular carp, the fish having already bitten off three inches of “Growler’s” caudal appendage, while one of his dew-claws was hanging by a thread. The dog, according to its owner, is still in a critical condition, due to on the above occasion, and, in his sleep at nights, keeps the entire family awake with loud deep-chested appeals to that carp for mercy.

Bige Rittenhouse assents that he was chased “clean ’crost” Coon Marsh one night recently by an enraged carp and doubtless would have fared seriously had not Bige accidentally ran up against old Pap Cushaw, with a rifle, who sent a bullet crashing into the carp about fourteen inches below the dorsal fin. While fishing in a bayou near Thayer a day or two ago Bill Hekathorn sat down on what he supposed was a partially submerged log. With a yell that might have been heard for four miles the log leaped forward and began circling that bayou at a rate of speed which caused Bill, who held on, to get his breath in sharp, short yelps. After making the trip around that bayou five thousand six hundred and seventy-two times the supposed log stopped simply for the reason that the friction caused by such rapid movement had cooked it to a turn. The dear reader probably already has guessed that the log turned out to be a carp, and sure enough it did—an exceeding large carp—weighing in the neighborhood of two hundred and eighty pounds. P. S. The rotunda of Bill’s pants was entirely burned away during his ride around the bayou. The writer could mention other instances of carp depravity in the Kankakee country, but enough has already been submitted to show that in “wet territory this particular species of fish appears to be imbued with a spirit of "devilishment,” as our German friend would say, that is almost beyond belief.