Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 121, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 May 1911 — Skinning a Cat [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

Skinning a Cat

By MARSHALL CROMWELL

(Copyright. 1911, by Associated Literary Press.)

"Well, what do you think?” Cyrus Standen regarded the young physician with undisguised contempt. "Examination proves what I suspected,’’said Guy quietly. “If you do not take a corilplete fest, you will become a physical wreck and possibly a mental one.”

“Complete rest,” scoffed Standen. "Look here, Dr. Bray; you can lead a patient to the physician—but you can’t make him take his prescription. I get a rest; a complete mental and physical relaxation every afternoon. I tell you there is nothing like a game of golf to set a man up.” "It has, in part, enabled you to keep up as long as you have,” was the even answer, “but it will not keep you going forever. Before it is too late, Mr. Standen, I urge upon you the necessity for taking a rest. Three months yvill set you on your feet again.” “That’s all nonsense,” was the impatient reply. “I came here to please Irma. I thought that if I submitted to an examination, you might possibly be able to perceive how thoroughly incorrect your absurd theories were. I see that I have flattered you even in my somewhat slight estimate of your skill. Good morning, sir.” Slowly Guy closed the door and went to the telephone to make an appointment to meet Irma after office hours. It was at her request that he had made the examination and It was for her sake that he had withheld retort in the face of Standen’s churlish speeches.

Bray had won Irma’s heart before he had made a name for himself in his profession, and it was for her sake more than for his own that he was anxious to get ahead rapidly. 'lrma shook her head as Guy gave his report a little later. “I can’t do anything,” she cried tearfully. ‘1 have begged and begged him to tdke a rest and he will pot do it. He r'.ys his golf is all he needs.” "That’s just the trouble,” explained Guy. “He makes his game of golf his excuse' for all excessive strains upon his physique. Of course an hour or so in the open does him a great deal of good, but his mind is still on his affairs. He is planning new coups as heyfcoes from hole to hole and so he does not gain the fullest benefit.” “Dr. Tracy recommended It,” she explained. “He said golf was better than all sorts of medicine.” “Tracy is a golf crank' himself,” explained Guy. “He is also a medical politician. When he sees that a prescription is net to his patient’s liking he changes it to suit.” “What can we do?” she asked. “Father places such implicit faith in Dr. Tracy that we cannot hope to prevail. Perhaps it was a mistake to urge him to submit to your examination.” “Not at all,” was the comforting reply. “You did not make a mistake, dear. It is simply that the problem is more difficult than we anticipated. I’ll find a way yet There is no organic trouble. It is simply that your father’s nerves are all run down and need a rest —a complete rest He is going to take it, too.'

"But he won’t listen to you," she cried. “How will you do it?" “Did you ever hear that homely old proverb that there was more than one way of skinning a cat?” he asked. "I’m going to skin the feline in a different way since the approved process is objected to. Don’t fret and don’t contradict your father when he tells you that his golf is all sufficient And now I have to run along and see some patients. I will call you on the 'phone this evening.” Bray took his leave and went down the street with a step as springy as though the father of the woman he loved had not recently intimated that he was entirely lacking in sense. There was a squareness to Bray's clean cut chin that argued that he would not readily give up the fight, but to Irma, even with her faith in Guy Bray, the outlook seemed black enough. But it seemed Hacker still when her father came home to dinner and spent the greater part of the time telling what an incompetent Bray was. “I saw Tracy this afternoon on the links,” he concluded. “He says Bray doesn’t know what he’s talking: about. With a little golf I'm good for Sv years yet” But as golf had been his panacea, so it became his warning, for the first intimation of a breakdown came in a certain weakness of stroke. His eye seemed as clear as ever, but now the ball frequently went wide of the merit. At first it did not worry Standen much, but as his game became worse and worse his anxiety grew. At last there came a day when the ball behaved so unaccountably <hat be left after the fifth hole and drove into town to see Tracy. That genial physician laughed at his fears. “We all have our off days,- he reminded. He bravely started a game the next afternoon, but he no longer seemed to have any control over the ball. At times he would play up to his old form and then the very next stroke would send the ball wide of the mark. Once It fell only six inches from a hole, and yet it required three strokes to hole. That night Standen sent for Bray. “I don’t know but what you may be

partly right in what you said the other day,” was the apologetic preface to the visit. “Tracy is an ass.” “Dr. Tracy is a very clever man.” defended Guy. “But we are all apt to err in diagnosis at times. I may have been wrong in your case.” "But you were not,” was the energetic reply. “By George, sir, you called the turn. I am going wrong. Guy, I used to know your father. I dandled ytu on my knee when you wore skirts. For the sake of those old times, my boy, try and save me. I’m going insane.” “Nonsense,” was the answer. “You are not going insane at all. You have overtaxed your nervous system and it needs a rest, that’s all. You show no signs of insanity. Your affairs are in pretty good shape just now, are they not?” “There’s. only one deal pending. I can close that out tomorrow if necessary. It will close naturally in a week.” “Don’t be in a hurry,” counseled Guy. “Close up your deal but do not engage in any new ones until after your return. Have the yacht put in commission to take a cruise. Go to Bermuda and then to Florida and the West Indies. Don’t touch a club or go near a golf links until you reach Nassau, and I’ll warrant you that by then you’ll be in. championship form again.” . “You’ve given me new hope, my boy,” he declared. “I was in an inferno until you came. I’ll take yout prescription faithfully and if it works —” “It’s going to work,” was the laughing reply. “I’ll stake my professional reputation on the result” Bray and the sailing master had laid out the cruise and it was three weeks before the yacht sailed past Hog Island light and into the harbor of Nassau. For a week Standeii had looked forward to the day when he could unpack his clubs and play golf again, and as soon as the customs formalities were over he made for the hotel and presently was off for the links. For a moment his hand trembled as he picked up a club but the troubled look on Ills face vanished as the ball sped true from the stroke. “Guy was right,” he cried exultantly. “That was one of the prettiest strokes I ever made in my life. All I needed was a little rest. I tell you, Irma, that boy knows his business." “I thought he was right,” smiled the girl. “I’m glad that I persuaded you to go to him.” “It was the most fortunate thing,” declared Standen as he strode toward the ball. “He’s a fine young fellow. Seemed a little bit gone on ydu, didn’t he?” “Don’t talk nonsense,” cried Irma with a blush, but her father only shook his head.

“It’s not nonsense,” he declared vigorously as he watched the caddie locate the ball. "You go in and win him. That’s the sort of young fello.’ I want for a son-in-law; none of these cheap society dudes.” It was more than the prescribed three months before the Standens came home. The financier was tanned by the sub-tropical sun until-he was as brown as a sailor. His eye was clear and as keen as his appetite. Irma’s first call was at Guy’s office. “I thought it would work,” he said with a laugh when she had amplified her mail reports. ~JfAll that your father needed was a rest from worry. The trouble was to Induce him to take the rest." 4 “It was fortunate that his golf failed him,” she said. "It seemed almost like an act of providence." With a laugh Guy went to his safe and drew from it a pasteboard box. *T told you there were more ways than one of skinning a cat," he reminded. “This is my patent* cat skin-' ner." He raised the lid of the box and disclosed a dozen golf balls. "These are persuasive pills—to be taken as directed,” he explained as be picked one from the box and tossed it upon the flat-topped desk. The ball wabbled drunkenly across the table, and falling off the side, pursued its erratic course across the carpet Bray tossed a second one over and this ran more true, but with a decided variation.

“I saw' that something must be done to check the golf idea,” he explained to the puzzled girl. “I had these balls made and tipped your father’s caddie to use them Instead of the regulation balls. They are hollow and are loaded with a metal ball Inside. The first and lightest load took the ball only slightly off its course. You see what the last one is capable of doing. That was the one that c-.used him to come over to my way of thinking.” “And it was all a trick?” she cried, half laughing, half scandalised. "To think of what you made poor dad suffer!" “It was for his wn good,” defended Bray, "and, besides, think of what he made me suffer!” “I think that under the circumstances,” said Irma demurely, "the employment >of the—the eat skinner was perfectly permissible. It has given dad back his health and it has given me you.” , “No,” said Guy tenderly. "It has given you to me, and for that, dear heart. I’d skin all the cats in Christendom.”