Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 106, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 May 1911 — Page 3

CATHERED SMILES

**‘4x •HAKESPEARE'S class. nit.' J>*»W - I, -, r f », , j. | | _ | _ « w fammiS opera. *> Maw York critic concttolftM day Mr Belasco recited: * ° -r.T^C’T■.■■vifrA 1 n„,", .—v v 1- “To be Puccini’, librettist la. of course, an honor. But it isn’t a supremo honor. Some folks, though, seem to think so. *lt all reminds me of a story about Ardlti. Arditi was once invited to lecture on Shakespeare. with a pussaid a disciple. ‘Don’t you remember "Amleto” and “Romeo e Qiulietta’’ and “Otello” and so forth?* " ‘Oh, yes! of course!' said the famous conductor. ‘Shakespeare! The librettist!”’

Willie's Lessons.

Miss Smith, who Is in the habit of amrignfpg long and difficult lessons, called the other evening at the home es her brightest pupil, who had been absent several days. “Is Willie ill?” she inquired solicitously. “Oh, no,’* responded the mother; “he Is quite well, thank you.” "He has been absent several dayß,” hinted the teacher. “Yes,” replied the mother, looking innocently at the teacher, “Willis is so busy studying his lessons that he hasn’t time to go to school.”— Lippln* cott’s. *

A Learned Parent.

“Pa, what Is a hedonist?” , "A hedonist, my son?” “Yes, pa.” “Ahem! Let me see. Do you remember my taking you to a vaudevile show last week?” “Yes, pa.” “And you saw a man there who walked down a flight of stairs on his head?” "Yes, pa.” “Well, he was a hedonist.”

Not That Kind.

“Is your clerk a believer In the oocult?’’ asked the facetious man, watching a bottle being made up Into a neat package. “I don’t know,” said the proprietor. "Why do you ask?” “Because,” replied the facetious one, "I notice he Is engaged inspirit wrapping.”

ESSENTIAL.

Mrs. Rastus Johnslng—Fo’ gracious sake, ain’t yo’ ready to go to dat cakewalk yet? Wot*s keepin’ yo’? Rastus Johnslng—l can’t find mah cakewalk razah.

Boy Didn’t Know.

“Toor wife want* you on tho telephone,” announced the new boy Ih an office where the phone* of two separate companies were Installed. "Which one?" Inquired the boss, thinking of the two telephones, of course. “Please sir,” said the boy, *f don’t know how many you bare.”

Makes a Difference.

The sun got up this moraine brisht And round me stilt In bed. But he wasn’t out so Into last nleht Aa I was. be It said.

Granted His Request

Bald the hobo: “I went around to a back door today and asked for something to eat 'Madam,' I said, *lf you will only give me the food you gave your cat I will be satisfied.* 'lf you want to Ue around the barn and catch -mice I haven’t any objections,' she told- me." \ At ;

Oculist’s Prescriptions Costly.

Alice—l ran into a lady In one o( the stores this afternoon and her glasses fell off and smashed all to tots. Jack—How unfortunate I Ton made amends at once, I suppose?” Alice—Oh, certainly. I apologised.

The Very Latest

“She's very proud of her child." “Doesn’t she know that mere children are unfashionable?*’ “But 1 believe she has some sort of • modified baby."

MISMATED FEET.

Ohl the wandering' toot ~~'-’ Loves a seven Ins run boot jjsz ,ov '’ * do wntn cruel flitft pl&n T l^nl t «m h tb? Chipper? Oh! the call of the sea V M Has lons clamored to me. And now half of me harks to It only; herß ’“ of my feet That would beat a retreat To a hearth where two others watt lonely. r • '# t— • Oh! the terrible strain i ' ''U Of ons foot on the mala, i And the other at home by the ingle! Faith, this gypsying fling Isn’t quite the right thing For a fellow unless he be single. Oh! the wandering foot £>oves a seven league boot. _ But the homekeeping foot loves a sflpv,/Jf?r; So when cruel fates plan To put both on one man, ’ i ' How can the poor fellow feel, chipper? —Tom Daly la Catholic Standard and Times. ...<

AT THE VAUDEVILLE.

First Gagster—- Electricity was in use before the flood. Second Gagster—How do you know? First Gagster—Why, didn’t Noah have ark lights?

How It Worked Out.

She married him for money. But when she was Ala bride. Although it may Mam funny, For love she sighed and sighed.

Plain Old English for Him.

James Wilson, the secretary of agriculture, does not like foreign languages and he cannot persuade himself that Latin is good for anything at all. As the new building for the department of agriculture was being finished off, the atone carvers began a Latin Inscription over the main door. Mr. Wilson came along when the work had been half done. “None of that Latin,” he ordered. “English Is good enough for me.” — Popular Magazine.

A Poor Beginning.

The young looked around at the little assemblage that constituted the slum kindergarten of which she had taken charge, and began in sweet gurgling tones supposed to express intense interest in her subject. “Now, I wonder how many little children here this morning can tell me whether the little kitty wears fur or feathers?” A dirty faced urchin rolled his eyes ceilingward and groaned, audibly: “Gee! Ain't she never seen a cat?” —Harper’s Magazine.

Edward’s Deductions.

"Edward, you must eat the crusts of your bread.” "Did you eat crusts when you were a little boy?*’ “Why, certainly, I did.” “And is that why you are a crusty old bachelor now, uncle?”—Yonkers Statesman.

HE KNEW.

The Medical Professor —What happens When a man’s temperature goes down as low a* It can? Btudent (absently)—He gets cold feet .v.'-v,., ...

Clara.

Of Clara B«U I’m vsry fond, A brunatts once. Oka’s now a blonds.

Somewhat Bitter.

“No.” said the senator, “I shall not go to Mr*. Upperten’s reception.” “But you have a card.” “! know, but people will think 1 stole It"

Child's Plain Hat

Here is a very nice Idea for a child’s plain hat—one that would be exceedingly useful for school or morning wear and wonld stand a great deal of knocking about. If you are making the girlie a set of little Unen or cotton dresses for the coming summer, you could not do better than save the cuttings from them, and let her have a hat to match each dress. The cost of them will be practically nothing, and she will be sure to look nice when her hat and dress “go with” one another. It' may be made up in any size, taking, measures from a hat that fits. The Materials; Almost any fairly stout fabric is suitable for this hat — silk, satin, velvet, cloth, linen, casemeat cloth or galatea. Yon will also need a yard of buckram for each hat —while or black, according to the color of the material—and 1% yard of ribbon to make the bow which trims the front if you want to be very economical, you can make the bow from one-half yard of flowered muslin, wiring it all round the edge, so that it stands up smartly, ;; •, The Cutting; Double the material. Cut from a double circle, from 13 to 14 inches across, according to the size of brim you want. Cut out a small triangular-shaped wedge at the back of the brim (see No. 1), bring the cut edges together, seaming them neatly on ther wrong side. Now take one of the child’s old hats, and measure acrpss the place where the crown and brim join, laying your tape inside the hat, just at the point where the lining is stitched in. Take a pair of compasses, set it up exactly in the center of the cut material, and trace-with if: First, one circle according with the measurements of the old hat; second, one circle 1% inch further towards the edge of the material. Now cut a circle of single material measuring 14 to 16 inches across for the crown, and a double piece 2 Inches deep and

PRESENT FASHIONS IN SHOES

Wide Variety, and Btyles Show Many Changes From Those That Have Been Worn. Cuban heels thinned down a bit from the more substantial heels of a season ago, distinguish all street footwear of the ultra sort, while heels of early French periods, with upwardturning toes, are the preferred sort for v the dress slipper. In contrast to the checked-topped shoes there are to be seen occasional, spats of white or castor color worn over black or brown shoes, or over those of antelope-finished calf, which is a more practical walking shoe than the patent-vamp article. In summer ties there are also examples of cloth and leather combinations and those in which suede and polished leather are combined. In dress slippers there are most expensive trifles in lace end in cut-work over pale-toned silks or satins—Harper’s Bazar.

One of the New Bags.

The newest hand bags are quite small, doubtless in contrast to the mammoth ones we have been carrying. The favorite shape is oblong, about 7 Inches wide and 6 deep. The special favorites for spring are in colored leather, in shades pf mauve, apricot blue, violet and red. They usually carry on the outer flap three small initials in gold or in a darker shade than the leather.

Covering the Pillows.

When making you new couch pillows if the ticking Is well coated with beeswax or paraffin on the wrong side, the feathers will not oome through. Oo&t the fabric by rubbing the wax in with a hot Iron.

For All-Round Wear.

Given a well-fitting tailored suit of fashionable ent and a dressy waist of one of the desirable veiled modes, and one may oonstder herself well-dressed (and really be so) for a considerable number of quite different occasions.

shaped as shown In the illustration for the head-band. Cut the brim and head-band again in buckram, making the buckram pieces just a shade smaller than the material ones. Cut out a wedge at the back of the buckram brim, and draw the open edges together by long herring-bone stitches. This will make the brim turn down Into mushroom shape. The Making: .Lay the two parts of the brim together with their right sides touching. Seam them together at the wrong side. Cut away all the material that is enclosed in the smaller circle. Turn the brim to the right side. Slip into It the buckram, and hold all together by a double row of machine stitching round the edge. Now take a pair of sharp scissors, and split up the inner edge of the brim to the line of the second circle, at shown in the illustration No. 1. Bend back the split pieces, so that they stand up, and the brim turns down over the child’s face. Join the double headband over the buckram, so that the stiffening is hidden between folds of material. Pin this upright on the brim, so that its lower edge rests on the line of the second circle, and the split pieces are all Inside the band. Sew the band very firmly to the split pieces, so that they hold It upright Gather the crown round Its edge, and draw it up to fit round the head-band at the place where the band joins the brim. Pull the fulness into pretty folds, and then sew down the very firmly all round, so that, from the outside, the head-band cannot be seen at all. Fold a piece of ribbon round the hat, to hide the join of the crown and brim, and finish it with a large bow at the front. , - - "Line the hat with sarcenet or thin silk. Draw up the lining with a narrow string inside the crown. Sew on & piece of elastic, which passes under the chin and holds that hat in place.

DRESS FOR YOUNG GIRL

This Is for a girl of 14 to 18 years, and may be carried out well In cashmere or very fine cloth; the panel front la prettily shaped both at top of bodice and lower part of skirt; this la laid on over straps of satin; bub tons and braid loops form a further finish. The small yoke and collar-band o spotted net ' -•* Materials required: Four yards 44 Inches wide, 4 dozen buttons, yards 40 lnchea wide sateen for lining, 1 yard satin 21 inches wide. * V'

WHEN OLD AGE IS A CURSE

* ’ T ’ v • • tV'd __ T _ • V ----- ~—— i —■ • > | ... „ , Wh<m cannot live with When they do not stand for anything in their community. - When they have lost the zest for life, the desire for usefulness. When it has developed only vulgarity, coarseness and animality. When their neighbors would not consider their departure any loss. When all the youthful fires have gone out and only embers remain. When the individual has not learned the self-control and patlenoe. When the individuality has been burned out by the fires of dissipation. 'When the sap of life has gone and the Individual is like a juiceless orange. When all the reserves of energy and force have been prematurely exhausted by a vicious life. When it has left the individual ugly, disagreeable, touchv. evnfont, critical, uncharitable, unkind. When the old have not won the respect, the confidence and the admiratio#\of relatives and those nearest to them. _ ‘ . , • ..'' When all that Is good, sweet and noble has evaporated and life is empty. —Orison Swett Maiden, In Success Magazine.

DISCHARGING OBLIGATIONS.

He can always send his hostess books, candy or flowers or fruit. For a girl it is perhaps easier to make some return for hospitality, as much less is expected of her. Sometimes if she shows a willingness to make herself useful to the older woman It will be much appreciated. For a man to continually accept hospitality and never return it in any way makes him known as a social grafter. Flowers sent under all conditions discharge an ordinary obligation if one does not care or has not time to call personally. Busy hostesses often find little time to shop and are glad to have somebody willing to relieve them of this necessary duty. ; > ; i Then there is always a tempting little tea shop where a girl may take her older Mends for a few stolen minutes spent in a cozy chat. If his pocket book will admit he may arrange a theater party and Invite his hostess and a few others to whom he may feel himself under obligation.

HOMEMADE PHILOSOPHY

If you feel like swearing, why, swear. It’s the feeling, and not the words that do the harm. Prayer alone won’t move a country, any more than a lone dove can reproduce her kind without a companion. When a man has no longer any desire to live, his heart is as lonely as the grave which looks so restful to him away out in the shadows. Scientists are now attempting to give reasons for Noah’s flood. Sometime I hope the flood will be able to give excuses for the scientists. How useful are you in the world, young man? On this point hangs all your future success. Not how beautiful or dainty, but what force are you? I If you can’t do any good yourself, persuade your neighbor to do all the good he can. Drowned bodies are often used as a bridge for the living escape the flood. *' */■

CURIOUS CONDENSATIONS

The Chinese cultivate an odorless onion. From tbq As tec tohoteolatl comes our word chocolate. The British museum's library boasts 33 miles of shelves. The annual consumption of wine In France Is 23 gallons a head. The diamond called a brilliant has 68 facets. A rose diamond Is faceted only oh the top; It has a flat bottom. The rye crop of the United State* In 1910 amounted to 33,039,000 tons, valued St $23,340,000.

JOSH BILLINGS' PHILOSOPHY

On# or the fussyest sconas I merit, It seems tew be the poorest I am satisfied that the two gratest up a publisher for hlz fust hook. Cunning men are sure tew git kaught at last; and when they are kaught, they are like a fox in a trap—the silliest looking fox yu ever see.» In Bible times, when Bslem’s as# spoke, it waz a mirakle; but the daze ov mirakles are over, and the gratest asses we hav In these times are the gratest talkers.—New York Weekly.

THE GENTLE CYNIC

Always do your best, but never your best friend. The one particular brand of lore that isn’t blind is self-love. The penalty of a stolen kiss is quently a life sentence at hard labor. All locksmiths are not bachelors, in’ spite of the fact that love laughs at them. Ever notice that the.wolf generally; comes to the door disguised as a bOh collector? A 'man seldom knows who hla| friends are, but his enemies are more considerate. It requires almost as much force of character to be a book agent as to> turn one down. Many a girl would promsle to marry; a man if she thought he wouldn’t be so silly as to expect her to live up to her promise. No woman is competent to advise a young girl in her love affairs unless the aforesaid woman has been married at least four times.

WAYSIDE WISDOM.

Few men know enough not to give advice. Energy has made more men famous than merit. There is no hunger as keen as- the hunger for sympathy. Sometimes a man kisses a girl against her will, against his own will. \ ■- % No matter how lazy a man may be, his laziness seldom extends to his tongue. Most of us are too busy looking for tomorrow’s possibilities to see those of today. Don’t blame a woman for wearing her heart on her sleeve. . The new styles leave her no other place to put it. _ Some people look on the bright side .of things so persistently that they wind up the proud possessors of a gold brick. i - A woman can go into the biggest department store on earth, and without half trying, ask for something they haven't got

SAYINGS OF SAGES

Men are but children of a burger growth.—Dryden. £4s To do two thtngs at onoe Is to do neither. —Publius Byrus. ■'■•'*sß The two noblest things, which are sweetness and light—Swift , One life, a little gleam of time between two eternities. —Carlyle. Property has Its duties as well sa its rights.—Thomaa Drummond. Example la the school of mankind, and they will learn at no other.— Burke. He was a man who stole the Itvsry of the court of heaven to serve tho devil in.—Pollok. There la an ancient saying, famous among men, that thou shouidst not judge fully of a man’s life before he dkth, whether It should be oalled| blest or wretched- —Sonhoclee.