Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 77, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 31 March 1911 — OAK GROVE. [ARTICLE]

OAK GROVE.

O. Wallace, of Laura, ia on the sick Hat. Miss Lottie Pickner is tioipe for .a few days’ visit. Elmer Kerns took dinner with Lloyd and Fred Cavinder Sunday. Burl Blackman is working for John F. Pettet. O. Wallace has taken another man on the railroad for-this season. Andy Myers, wife and sister-in-law, of near Kniman, attended church her 2 Saturday night. On account of the rainy weather but few of the members were at Christian Endeavor Sunday night. Rev. W. G. Schaffer, of Aix, was down and gave us a sermon Saturday night. He will be here again April 8. B. J. Gifford’s dry land dredge, wlilch has been grading the roads in this neighborhood, Is expected to leave for the north end of .the Gifford railroad the latter part bf this week. Zack Kerns hds been on the stek list, but is better at present. ’

“I’m aftaM,” said the critical friend, “that yon will never be able to make anything out of Mias Screecher’u voice.” ■ . . . “That’s all you know about it,” retorted the vocal instructor. “Why, Tve made over S2OO out of it already.” —Chicago News. .V*'**- -' ’-V f «, 4 •2\ When first I met Eudora Green She was a tiny maid With tossing curls of corn silk sheen And glances unafraid, v Frilled frock and sash bound at the knee, She was a picture when 1 led her out to walk with me. She scarce could toddle then. Time works great changes, so they say. But I at leaat must claim. Though many years have rolled away, Eudora’s much the same. Still bright as corn silk In the breese, Her curls toss o’er her brow, And with a sash around her knees She scarce can, toddle now. .—Browning’s Magazine, “Dad, what sort of a bureau Is a matrimonial bureau?” “Oh, any bureau that has five drawers full of women’s fixings and one man’s tie to lt.”—Houston Post North winds rude and south winds bleak— Strange is nature’s law; Blizzards from the stormy west— Then a horrid thawl —Cleveland Plain Dealer. “And what is yonr father’s business, my little man?” asked the Rev. Mr. Fourthly as he made his morning call on the infant class. “He’s a dam-at-it kick-it,” said the little chap, whose father wrote dramatic criticism for a newspaper.—Harper’s Weekly. And when the week has rolled around And hubby comes home with a bound. Disdaining rides in cars or stages. But walking Just to save his wages, He kisses me and calls me honey. It seems a shame to take the money! —Yonkers Statesman. “Did you discover the north pole?” “Not exactly,” replied the explorer. “But I‘found a place that was suffleWntly cold and lonely to be its practical equivalent.”—Washington Star. “Him wuzza tootest itste-bltsie p’eclous lovle lamb. And him des a sweetest plttle-lttle singleyes, him am— Wla him tunntn’ ltsie footsie an’ him sayln’ ‘Goo-goo-goo!’ Him wuz him muzzer’s ownest lambie boysle—cootsle-coo!” To this the baby listens by the hour and day and week. And yet his mother wonders why he doesn’t learn to speak! —Ladles’ Home Journal, Banker (dumfounded)—What’s that? Say that again. Applicant—l said I would like to mortgage my automobile in order to buy a home!—Puck.

To what the cynics say or do Why should we list or care? We know the charm of being true, The Joy of playing'fair. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. “She married a window dresser.” '“ls that so?” “Yes, honest.” “Gee, he ought to be dandy when it comes to hooking np a dress!”—Detroit Free Press. If time hangs heavy on your hands And you don’t need the same Just take it to your uncle kind Who plays the three ball game He’ll keep It for you snug and safe. Will share your bitter cup, But he’ll expect a call from you Whene’er your time Is up. —Boston Herald. “I knew you were married as soon as I met you, Mr. Wed.” . “How so?” “You wear that apprehensive look.” —Spokane Spokesman-Review. Tell me not In mournful mumbles Hobble skirts are here to stay. For the maid each time she sturtibles Vows she'll throw the thing away. —Judge. Muggins Women are gradually usurping the place of men. I heard the other day of a woman bill collector. Buggins—Well, If a woman Is aa successful In running down a bill as she is in ranning one up she should be. a wonder.—Philadelphia Record. Dyspeptic friends, do not despair. But dally watch the bill of fare. Suocees In life Is but a fake When founded on the stomach ache. —St. Paul Pioneer Press. “Show me one of these old robber castles of the Rhine,” commanded the tourist “Robber castles?” echoed the puzzled guide. “Does the gentleman mean a garage?”—Washington Herald. — *T am an optimist,’’ he said. “I love the crowded cars, And when I fall and bump my head I like to see the stare.” —Cleveland Plain Dealer. “Is that man wide awake in his business methods?” “Good heavens, no! He’s Just patented an Insomnia care.”—Atlanta Constitution. Alas, next year Insurance men Will answer thus: *’l fear I cannot take the risk. You know. You cannot live long here. You do not run a motorcar Or sail an airship fleet. Instead you still court death, dear sir. By walking on your feet!” —Judge. “Blinks has dyed his hair black. But don’t say I told you.” “Why?” “He wants to keep it dark.”—Oaseell’s Saturday Journal. The road to wealth and fame Is rough end steep to view. And many who have climbed the same Have found It crooked too. —Chicago Tribune.