Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 69, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 March 1911 — Page 2

* WHAT THEY SAIO. . Penelope —Charley called last night Justine —That’s twice in a week, ißrtit? Penelope—Yes. Justine —I suppose he’ll come three times In the next week? Penelope—That’s what my brother says. Justine —And six times the next? Penelope—That's what aunty says. Justine —And seven times the next? Penelope—That’s what pkpa says. . || Justine —And then what? Penelope—Then we’ll get married: that’s what everybody says. Justine —And then what? Penelope—Then I shan’t see him any more of an evening; that’s what mamma says.

HIS FIRST CAVIARE.

"Poor Uncle Henry embarrassed us all when we dined In the ultra-fash-ionable restaurant.” "In what way?" "Why, the waiter brought the dear old man a caviare sandwich, and guess what he said?" ‘What, my dear?" "Why, he said he didn’t care about blackberry preserves smeared on his bread for dinner."

Another Version.

Mother. may I go out to skate?" “Tou may. my little Myrt. But you must stay close by the stove And wear your hobble skirt."

A Puzzler.

“Pop, you know everything, don’t you?” said little Joe. “Some very few things In the universe might have escaped me,” answered the parent, modestly, “but they are hardly worth mentioning. What do you want to know?” “I want to know,” replied little Joe, “what relation an august king Is to a May queen?”

Interpreted.

TMa*m,” said the new cook, ”1 should like to ask you something. It’s about Jenkins, the butcher. He says I shall have five per cent on all orders I give him. What does that mean?” The lady of the house looked thoughtful. “These technicalities. Jane,” she said, “are hard to explain exactly. Broadly, It means that we •hall get onr meat from Jones In future.”

Merely Wished to Know.

“Mother,, did father have to ask you more than once to be his wife?” “Why, dearest, what makes you ask such a question?” “I Just wanted to know whether you always answered no before you thought, the same as you do to me now."

Accomplishments Demanded.

“Do you think a diplomat should know the language of the country to which he is assigned?” “Certainly. He should have such perfect command of it that it will be pa hard to grasp his exact meaning as If he were unfamiliar with it.”

Lady (standing on a window ledge of burning building about to cave in, to firemen below) —You ealther tell those naughty men down there to shut their eyes, or i’ll jump head first— Judge.

FATHER’S PATENT.

Johnnie —Why do you han thro* paid of glasses, father? Phther—l use one to read with, one to see at a distance, and the third to Ind the other two.

Oh, Sugar!

"Sweet little feet." Is not poetic, At least not altogether. Stops we have learned the trusts are patTta< rlucoee Into leather.

A Protest.

"Please ask the orchestra not to Play 'Ogling Eyes.’" said ths cranky patron to the head waiter. "Beg pardon, air, bat that piece to being Stayed by special request.” "I don't care a rap about that I’m trying to eat spaghetti and I can’t do It to syncopated time."

That Moved Him.

Staylate—Has your father any obJectiona to 017 paying you visits, _ttos Mtaa B. (glancing at the dock)—l think he would prefer that you paid tham In installments, Mr. Stay lata

SMILES

Modesty.

TOO COMPLACENT.

R« simply wouldn’t worry. But also wouldn’t burry. Kor took part In th« bustls When others 'ran to hustle, \ Just sat around StlU dreaming. His brain with fancies teeming, < Till Fortune passed right toy him And vowed she’d never try him. Although, in sooth, ’tls needful To stay serene, the speedful Progressive sort of fellow. Yet klndly-souled and mellow. Is one who’ll cop the prise out And bulge old Envy’s eyes out.

A Useful Remedy.

Little four-year-old Billy was visiting his neighbor, Jerry. Billy showed every evidence of a bad cdld. Jerry’s mother asked with grave solicitude: "Don’t your mother give you anything for your cold. Billy?" Whereupon Billy answered, feeling In all his pockets at once: "Yes, ma’am, she gives me a clean handkerchief.’— Lippincott’a.

Unchanged.

"Do you act toward your wife as you did before you married her?" "Exactly. I remember Just how I used to act when I first fell In love with her; I used to hang over the fence fn front of her house and gaxe at her shadow on the curtain, afraid to go in. And I act just the same now when I get home late.”

A Stern Chase.

“What is that old man tearing down the road in that fashion for, do you suppose?” “In pursuit of happiness.” “You don’t expect me to believe that racing himself half to death makes him happy?” “Of course not. He is in pursuit of his daughter and her lover who are eloping.”

His Excuse.

“What was your father doing In the back yard so early this morning?” “Looking for his pipe. He threw it away on New Year's day, but last night he and ma had a spat and now he’s going to smoke again just for spite.”

Two Comparisons.

Mrs. Sage—Look how different the fate of these two sisters. Emily married and became a miserable wife. Miss Giggle—How hard to bear! Mrs. Sage—Her sister Jane took warning by her fate and remained aa old maid. Miss Giggle—How unbearable!'

RIGHT.

He —What makes you think that girls who dance are all right? She Because those who don’t dance are generally left

Always Thus.

Tou are a most unlucky cuss— Of course, it has occurred to you That It Is always some else Somebody leaves a million to.

An Exception.

"I have observed,” said the old professor, mournfully, ’’that women nowadays are too frivolous. The average woman’s reading to not productive of any profit—” “Don't you believe it,’’ put In the family man. “When she reads the bargain ads it’s productive of profit to the advertisers.” —Catholic Standard and Times. Miss Pretty—We are warning all pur friends that they have to taka care of themselves when they come to our house, for we are going to hang up mistletoe. Miss Oldgirl—l’d like to see any body dare to kiss me. » Miss Pert—Don’t worry. Nobody would do it, even on a darn

Back From Abroad.

The city niece was telling about her European trip. "And Brussels,” she related witi much enthusiasm. "Ah, Brussels was such a charming city." "Do tell!” exclaimed the rural aunt. "And which, did you enjoy the most dearie, Brussels carpets or Brussels sprouts?”

Profound Egotism.

"Twiggs aspires to be looked on as a strong-minded man.” “Why do you think so?" "He’s going around telling every body that he hasn’t made a single Nea Tear resolution.”

Linen or Pongee Workbag

FIGURE No. 1 show’s the design complete and ready to transfer on the material used. To transfer the pattern, place a piece of transfer or impression paper face down on the material. Then with great care place the design correctly on the material and make it perfectly firm with thumb tacks on all the four corners. Li After this Is done, go over each part

NEWEST IN SHELL PINS

Designers Turn From Combs to Make Attractive Tortoise Pins for the Hair. Since the modern coiffure leaves little room for shell combs, tortoise shell designers are bending their energies to making attractive hairpins with heavy heads and curved wavy lines. One of the newest pins has a pronounced outward curve at the top on the order of a hooked handle. This enables it to slip over the puffs and curls so much worn. One good looking pin for heavy hair has the top in a semi-circular curve like a double coll. There is no carving, only the handsome marking of fine shell. Another set of crook tops is divided in four waving hands. Sometimes these are plain shell, those for evening wear studded with brilliants or designs in paste. New and smart Is the bar-shaped top to hairpins. A barette comes to match. The open lines of these are sometimes plain, again studded with rhinestones or decorations in gold or silver. A handsome barette of moderate dimensions is an oblong piece of light shell of exquisite marking studded w’lth entwined scrolls and loops of raised gold dots. The newest real shell hairpins are quite small and light, as It is no longer fashionable to have the head look like a walking arsenal. These are lost so easily that the average woman wears Imitation shell. The real ones will drop less easily from the hair if the prongs are decidedly curved. To keep shell In good condition it should be rubbed dally with a piece of chamois skin to prevent that ugly blur making headway. When the shell is once dimmed it must be sent to the manufactory for repolishing. If a number of tortoise shell articles are to be polished it will be cheaper to send them direct to a manufacturer of shell goods than to a jeweler.

One of the New Bags.

The newest hand bags are quite small, doubtless in contrast to the mammoth ones we have been carrying. The favorite shape is oblong, about seven Inches wide and five deep. The special favorites for spring are in colored leather in shades of mauve, apricot, blue, violet and red. They usually carry on the outer flap three small initials in gold or in a darker shade than the leather. ( Most of these bags, though small, have on one side compartment for ndrror and vanity case and on the other a place for handkerchief and cardcase. Others have a special chain so it can be easily pulled out in a crowd, instead of fishing in a crowded bag.

Braised Lambs’ Tongues.

The lambs’ tongues should first be siiamered in salted boiling water fori an hour, then drained, skinned, trimmed and placed in a braising pan. Pour over them a pint each of brown and tomato sauce; add a quarter of a bay leaf, a teaspoonful of onion juloe, a clove and sufficient salt and pepper to reason. Cover closely and cook flor wo hours in a moderate oven.

of the design very carefully with & sharp lead pencil. The embroidery of this bag is very simple, as can be seen by the sketch. Figure No. 3 shows the flower in detail. The embroidery being worked In solid, the rest is done in outline, as shown In figure 4. This design might be worked out effectively in pld blue with a natural pongee or linen. *

GOLDEN GOWNS THE FASHION

Abundance of Yellow Metal in Women’s Fabrics Foreconsequence of King George’s Coronation. Gold is employed lavishly In several gowns that have been made recently for Mrs. Orme Wilson, tissues and threads of gold, bosses of gold, borders of gold. Mrs. Wilson has stolen a march on her rivals for social supremacy, and is In advance of the fashion, for the abundance of the yellow metal in women’s this year is a foreconseqnence of King George’s coronation. Indeed, gold it to he used even in the manufacture of materials for summer frocks. A leading man dressmaker says: “It Is to be a great year for dress. Everything will be costly. It would seem that velvet on a ground of chiffon or nlnon would be too heavy for summer wear, but this will not be the case, for It is being made so light as to almost look like a shimmer of satin. All clothes will be of wonderful colorings and pompadour designs. Brocade cloths of gold win have large pompadour patterns embroidered In many colors, which, of course, must harmonize, as do different colored flowers In a bouquet. A kind of mustard shade Is to be worn for evening cloaks, woven with gold threads. The color of the year undoubtedly will be a radish-red —that Is, a shade between red and petunia. All empire styles will be in vogue, and gowns draped with chiffon will no longer-have the tunic effect, as the chiffon folds extend almost to the hem.”

OF LIBERTY AND LACE

This new model is of pink liberty with fichu of white lace. The tucked front is of pink gauie ornamented with knots of pink liberty ribbon. The girdle and neck band are of pink liberty. ‘

Violets for Hats.

Violets will be the moat popular flower trimming in the millinery realm. Immense bunches of purple beauties nestling In a bed of green leaves gives a youthful as well as spring-like appearance to the hat,

HAPPENINGS IN THE CITIES

Match-Making a Dangerous Business

NSW YORK.—Phosphorus matches kill and maim the men and girls who make them. The working men and girls who are engaged in the manufacture and the packing of the ordinary match run a heavy risk of contracting phosphorus necrosis, and those who get this disease generally die a horrible and lingering death. These facts are brought out in. the report of the United States bureau of labor, which recently investigated the match industry. Phosphorus necrosis, or mhtch poisoning, attacks thfe teeth and jaws. The teeth become loose and fall out and the bone of the Jaw becomes porous and decays. It is necessary then to remove large parts of the bone, and frequently the entire jaw. One man who worked in a match factory in Wisconsin had to have his whole upper and lower jaws removed, so badly had the disease attaked him. Then he lived for months, taking occasional nourishment through a tube. Another case reported by the bureau of labor was that of a girl of 14 who went to work packing matches. The poisonous atmosphere of the place

Death Comes to ‘Dress Suit’ Burglar

PASSAIC, N. J.—Death has ended the career of Thomas Wandlass, the “white front” burglar, who was shot and fatally wounded while, breaking into the home of Thomas Tapley, a contractor in this city. Wandless preferred the underworld to a life of luxury In the home of a fond and wealthy mother. He developed from a sort of “angel child” to a desperate criminal. Paralysis of his vocal organs shortly after his capture kept the police from obtaining any corrected account of his amazing career. Jean Mitchell, aged seventeen years, who called herself his “chicken stall” and assisted him in 22 burglaries, has pleaded guilty and will receive sentence. She declares she is eager to get back to her hbme in the New England states as she has had enough of travel and nice dresses, the bait offered by Wandlass when she consented to become his accomplice. The police call Wandlass a “supper worker” and a “dress suit burglar.” He called himself a “white front” burglar and was fascinated by the

Theatrical Censors in Kansas Towns

TOPEKA, KAN.—There are 800 organized cities In Kansas, and every one of these cities and towns has a' theatrical censor, especially named to watch the moving picture shows. The legislature has passed a law naming the mayor of each city, or some person appointed by him or by the council or commissioners, a moving “picture censor. The law provides that the showing of any moving or stationary pictures displaying actions which would constitute a crime if actually committed, the infidelity or unfaithfulnes of a husband or wife or suggestive of indecency, is a misdemeanor in ltßelf, and the moving picture show man may be fined from SIOO to SSOO for showing such pictures.

Girls Make Good in Managing Sports

COLUMBIA, MO.—The girls of the Columbia high school have taken Charge of the school’s athletics and will run them for the remainder of the school year. They took the reins into their own hands only after the boys ■had made a failure, and have achieved a marked success to date. . , At the beginning of the school year the boys assumed the management v»4i the athletics, Inasmuch as they did the playing on the football team. They were very unbusinesslike, however, and, although a number of football games were played and In spite of the fact that the football season Is usually a financial success, there was a deficit of $35 at the close of the season. \

affected her teeth, and when she went to a dentist he found her whole lower jaw honeycombed by the phosphorus poisoning. Abscesses followed and the child was unable to eat She slowly starved to death. Many other cases are cited in the report No one who works in these factories apparently Is immune from the disease, and sanitary. precautions which have been taken in some of the larger factories have been ineffectual. The atmosphere must of necessity contain the fumes of phosphorus, and they are deadly. Not all-the men and girls who are poisoned die, of course. Some of them check the disease early by a radical operation, having their lower jaws removed. Those who are not willing to be maimed in this way generally die as a result of absorbing the poisons generated by their own decaying teeth and bones. The man who made the investigar tions for tile bureau of labor was John „B. Andrews, and so strongly was President Taft impressed by his report that he recommended the passage of a bill to discourage the manufacture of phosphorus matches by a heavy federal tax. Such a bill was introduced early in the session. The match trust, however, forestalled the passage of -the bill by withdrawing the patent on the harmless substitute it uses in place of the deadly phosphorous.

danger of robbing a house while there were many persons about.-- 1 Often he would stop to listen to the dinner clatter before making his escape. Generally he selected a dark or dimly lighted parlor, jimmied the window and climbed in. During the months that the girl worked with him he relied . upon her to “Bpill a faint” as she called It, and draw the crowd while he made his escape. Wandlass was about thirty years old. His mother, Mrs. Augustus F. Berner, is a woman of wealth and refinement In Brooklyn, N. Y. Her first husband, Wandlass, was a hotel proprietor and well to do. He left a comfortable fortune, and when he died his son, Tom, was a model youngster and a great church worker. He was precocious, high strung and had a vivid imagination. Just when he became transformed into a “bad man” no one seems to know, but he ran away from boarding school at seventeen and the next his mother heard of him was that he was a member of a gang of thieves. He was never what might be called a Raffles, except tbfit he dressed well and committed most of his mirglaries while clad in evening clothes. He was known to the police at Kid Howard and Thomas Hanley and had served time in several penal institutions in the state of New York.

When the bill came up there was a question as to how it should be deter- 1 mined whether or not a picture came under this classification and who was to determine the question. It was suggested that the mayor and two ministers should be a censor boabd in each city, but a number 6f ministers protested that they did not care to attend moving picture shows for any purpose and had no interest In seeing whether or not the pictures were proper. Then a committee of the mayor and one layman and one minister was suggested, but this, too, was unsatisfactory, and it was finally decided that the mayor of each Incorporated city or town should be the censor unless he named another for the work. • The censor’s word Is law. If he says a picture is calculated to be injurious to the morals of the citizens or to offer evil suggestions to children, the pictures must be stopped. It is provided that the moving picture man may collect damages from the film exchange that sent him the pictures if his show Is stopped.

J. L. ColonlUß, instructor in physical culture, was disappointed with the management of the boys. "They think too much of taking a few trips away from home In order to have a good time, and too little of where the expense money is to come from,” he said. At the beginning of the basket ball season Colon ius initiated the plan which put the girls In control, and now the treasury has enough money in it to wipe up the football deficit and leave $75 on deposit. At tfig suggestion. a new athletic association was formed, to which girls were admitted upon payment of the “two-bits” ihitia Akm fee. Neat badges were given to the members and the girls of the basket bail squad conducted an enthusiastic canvass with the result that there are as many girls in the association as there are boys. The girls are now managing botlf the boys' and girls’ basket ball teams and will arrange the schedule for the boys’ track and baseball tom.