Evening Republican, Volume 15, Number 67, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 March 1911 — 'Rah for Reform. [ARTICLE]

'Rah for Reform.

Comes .now another reformer who wants to uplift us by eliminating the word “Hello” from our telephone conversations. Good! We heartily agree with his deep-drawn suggestion that the first syllable of that word is too suggestive of a certain form of swearing. It had not occurred to us before; very few people are in the habit of standing on windy corners of conversation and watching for embarrassing displays of language. But'we extend to the pure-minded reformer our wannest accord. Also we move that a certain well-known rhyme, oh which we were trained years ago, be revised to read:

"Early to bed and early to rise Slakes a man hearty and wealthy and wise.” Furthermore, let us change the name of the Helicon to the Rubicon, or the Rhymlcon. And let us prohibit the sale of hellebore In drug stores. While we are about it, let us disinfect things properly, Change the name of damask, for Instance, and take Damascus off the map. And pass a law forbidding people to sue for damages, and, with one supreme motive, brethren, let us wipe the Infamy of the Gatun dam off the Isthmus of Panama.