Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 296, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 December 1910 — Page 2 Advertisements Column 1 [ADVERTISEMENT]

Above all, do not forget your overshoes. Codfish is scarce and high, and a fishball trust is suspected. In some respects this has already been an old-fashioned winter. And so far no one has Invented a soft spot for aviators to fall on. The English courts have small use for hypothetical questions or brainstorms. One thing is certain, there is plenty of room for aviators to make high-fly-ing records in. The ideas of the weather clerk are excellent, but the stubborn climate will not adopt them. The nervous wrecks In Newport are the grocers who cannot collect bills due from the 400. In football, as in politics you cannot always tell. The same is true of love and the stock markets, however. There are 61 active volcanoes in Japan, notwithstanding the fact that no political campaign is going on in Japan. Pockets in women’s skirts are coming back, says an exchange, if ever they can find the place where they used to be. Dirigible balloons are dirigible only when they move with the wind. They cannot buck the wind as a real .man-bird does. The statement is made by a Swiss doctor that drunkards live longer than total abstainers. But even if they do, what's the use? The population of the Philippines has decreased 25 per cent, since we took them over. Does race suicide ulso follow the flag?

That fringe of puppy dogs at a New Yorfc. wedding has become almost as famous as the monkeys that dine witifi “the 400” at Newport. Canada levied no duty on the balloons that started from si. Louis and went northward across the border. It did not know how to do it. A New York judge has decided that Nevada divorces are no. good. Just like a New Yorker—discarding things because they’re inexpensive! Aeroplaning to Europe is the lateßt upon the aviator’s schedule. It would be well to put off the attempt till after winter—say about flytime. Every little whilej somebody wins the world’s championship at typewriting, but for some reason champion typewriters never get splendid offers to go on the stage. The man who never sees a SIOO bill has no reason to worry because of that very dangerous counterfeit which the Washington authorities say is in circulation. According to statistics there are 10,000,000 telephone stations in the World, and yet somehow or other you can’t always get the one you want when you want it Thirty-four aviators have met with fatal accidents during the past year. Still, some of them might have stepped on rusty nails if they had remained on the ground. Somebody says that the way to solve the transatlantic aviation problem is to manufacture hydrogen gas en route. If he had only said hot air, now, it would be simple. Another aviator has broken the high-flight record for aeroplanes. It happens even more frequently than the launching of the largest ship or the death of the oldest Mason.

Horace Fletcher says that if one Is to get his money’s worth out of a glass of milk he should chew It. It might be asked what kind of milk Hofteeg Is In the habit of eating.

Somehow, we find It almost impossible to get rid of the feeling that the man who married the lady who was attended by three dogs as bridesmaids ought to be sympathized with even if he did go into it with his eyes open.

A Harvard professor declares that the late and loveless marriages are responsible for the disappearance of real Yankee blood. Most persons have thought this was due to the wholesale Importation of other blood.

A Los Angeles woman used a stick of dynamite on her washboard, supposing it to be soap. The fact that there was no explosion indicates that the wretched makers of dynamite are adulterating it Can’t we have anything pure any more?

A Chicago professor has. discovered that women gossip because gossiping gives a pleasing shock to their vasomotor systems.-Having discovered so much, it ought to be possible to discover a substitute and thus saw many innocent reputations.