Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 282, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 November 1910 — Page 2

Good Jokes

"IN THE DARK." A recent diner at a West end hotel tells of a quaint incident he noticed there the other night The band was playing a certain popular music hall air, and a young lady at one of the tables, curious to know what it was, asked her waiter to find put The man departed, laden with plates, but was so long gone that the anxious inquirer clean forgot her curiosity as to the tune. Well on through the dinner she was somewhat ialarmed to hear a husky, guttural voice from behind say. “I'm afraid to go home in the (dark." "What?” exclaimed the lady, in lauinn. ' “I’m afraid,” repeated the mysterlfous voice, in slow, impressive accents, "to go home in the dark!” The lady gave a little scream and, .Turning to a male companion, said: “Is this man mad?” It was only after an anxious interval that the explanation was understood.

How He Managed.

“I haven’t heard you complaining lately,” remarked Mr. Cummutes, on the suburban car, “about Rurall’s rooster k 'eping you awake mornings.” "No,” answered Mr. Edgewood, in a self-congratulatory tone, “that rooster will trouble me no more. I got my wife to praise the bird’s beauty so highly that RuralKs wife couldn't resist the temptation of putting him jon her chantecler hat.”

She Remembered.

Mrs. Recentmarrie—Everyone says (the baby is the perfect image of me. Mr. Recentmarrie—Not everyone, dear. I met Mrs. Smith yesterday and Ishe told me the child reminded her of [me. Mrs. Recentmarrie—Mrs. Smith? Oh, [yes! I remember now; she called that day when baby was so irritable and cross.

HIS IDEA.

Cyrus—Gosh, them ere banks in New York must be gittin’ purty shaky. Miranda —What makes yer think thet, Cy? Cyrus—Waal, here's a letter from Zeke sayin' thet he's sunk most of his money in an oil well.

Rocky.

Over the Alps He Italy, And lies and lies and lies; And it’s mighty hard to light on When the aeroplanes capslse.

Passing It Up.

The Argumentative Boarder—But tow do you account for the murder- . ous instinct in the aborigines? Is it Instinct, or is it an inherited tendency? The Philosophical Boarder—My dear fellow, David the Psalmist asked the question, “Why do the heathen rage?’ and he seemed unable to answer it himself. Why should I attempt it. Another cup of coffee, if you please, Mrs. Irons.

Evening Hush.

That deaf mute says he is certain his love is not reciprocated.” “Why? Because of his affliction?” "No, the girl is a deaf mute, too. But she always turns out the light when he calls tn the evening.”

Rather Scarce.

Dusty Dennis—Dis great poet says dat love Is a food.

Billy Coalgate—Does, eh? Funny we don't see any of it on de freelunch counters.

A Foot Note.

She—What is this at the bottom of this line —“This man had a strong and striking soul?” % He (reading)—The note says: “This man must have been a kicker.”

Appropriate Selection.

“I see Mr. Waslt Is accompanying (the sultan of Sulu.” "Well, what more appropriate com|panlon could he have? He isn’t Tt* lany more, is he?"

In the Air.

“I wonder if you could call it high (finance?” f "Whatr "Dealing in airships."

Countenance for It.

"There la a report that,pretty Miss (Flirty paints.” . **l must say there is color on tbs ta£e of It to warrant the report.**

THE BEST OF TYPE. , His love In tetters burning* He wrote her without stint. His folly he’s discerning Since they appeared In print. He made some campaign speeches New coined from wisdom's mint. With tnge he almost screeches Since they appeared in print His words ‘mid relaxation In perfumed bowers of mint Brought angry refutation When they appeared In print So, when to talk Inclining In hours of rosy glint, Think, and avoid repining, How it would look In print

NATURAL QUESTION.

Clara —There goes one of our most distinguished men. Claude —What is his particular line of graft.?

Easily Suited.

The days of autumn Sult me best. I wear suspenders And a vest. A

A Strained Comparison.

-- —......vvnipai iouti. “Here’s an interesting item, don’t you know. It says that a sailor’s hands are permanently half shut. They claim it’s the result of climbing laddahs and pulling tarry ropes, don’t you know.” * Well, say, by Jove, that’s awfully rough on Chawlie Delancey, deah boy. He fawncies he’s a yachtsman 'cayse he wears a yachting cap.”

Made Them Quit.

"How did you come to break oft the match?” “Oh, we found we were mistaken in our sentiment toward one another.” <. “How so?” “Why, we learned that both her parents and mine were in favor of the match."

Careful Husband.

Cumso —Wait a minute, Fangle. I want to step into the dressmaker’s and pay my wife’s bill, Fangle—Why don’t you give her the money and let her go and pay it? Cumso—lf I sent her to pay the bill she’d order another dress.

Couldn’t Wait.

“What makes you think she loves yoq?” “She interrupted me right in the middle of my proposal.” i “Interrupted you? Jtfhat for?” "To accept me."

One Man’s Theory.

“No, I don’t think women will ever succeed as railroad engineers.” “Why not?” “They would lose too much time holding up their trains at crossings.”

THE LATEST IN GOLF.

Swellington—What is the latest fad in golf? Tellington—Having real detectives track up your lost balls.

Foolish Thought.

Whene’er I want to board a train And And it hours late, I wish I owned an aeroplane. In which to aviate.

Possible Reason.

"Why is it,” queried the summer boarder who was afflicted with the silly question habit, “that your chickens are always fighting among themselves?" “Wall. I ain’t right shore,” answered the old fanner, ’but I ’low mebby it air ’cause we feed ’em on scraps, by grass I"

Twas Ever Thus.

Actor—l hear the managers have accepted Blank’s new comic opera. Critic—No. They liked the book well enough and the jokes and the lyrics, but when they discovered, thwf it could be staged as cheaply as one of Shakespeare’s pieces they rejected tt with regret.

w N the design on the left we a soft grey cashmere / dress; the skirt has a ’ panel front, folds trlm--3 ming the foot of sides and back; the slight fullness

is gathered at waist. The bodice is quite simple in shape, plain on shoulders and a little full at waist; it has a vest of lace, but no collar-band. The fichu is of spotted muslin finely tucked on the shoulders and edged with insertion and lace. The small puffed elbow sleeves are finished with lace ruffles. Materials required: 8 yards 46 Inches wide, yards muslin 36 inches wide, 3% yards lace, yards insertion, % yard lace for vest, 1%

IDEA FOR SEPARATE BLOUSE

Home Needleworker May Make One From Many Different Kinds - ■ of Materials. : J

Many of the new separate blouses in paisley, Persian and dresden designs are being made from crepe handkerchiefs, scarfs and mufflers. This is a hint which may well be taken by the home needleworker, as these blouses, of the silky crepe, are easy to cut and make up. Usually there is figured design, in the middle, then a band of plain white or a light color and a figured border. This white strip must be allowed for, and it looks well as the lower part of the blouse and the inside of the sleeves, thus giving a sort of bolero effect Under sheer veiling these crepe handkerchief waists are draped, and they lend themselves readily to this treatment If ,you have too many scarfs of this sort, or simply wish an original blouse to match the scarf worn by everybody nowadays, think of this Paris idea and act accordingly.

Knit-In Beads.

Be careful to use a needle fine enough to go through even the smallest of the various kinds of beads to be employed. Prepare a length of fine thread and pass both ends of the thread through the eye of the needle, thus forming a loop through which hang the end of the wool selected for knitting.

Begin threading the beads according to the pattern.” When they are all worked in, cast off on the first row after the last bead row. The number of beads in a row is often found to be one less than the number of stitches, the odd stitch being slipped without a bead at the beginning of the row for firmness and regularity. To secure the beads, slip the first stitch; knit the rest plain, passing one bead up close to the needle at every stitch before the silk or wool is raised; second, slip one, knit without beads.

New Silk

The woman who wants embroidered effects, but does "hot like arduous work, will welcome a new silk braid that looks like chain stitching. A design is stamped as for ordinary embroidery and the braid is sewed on the outlines by hand. A few filling stitches or french knot centers increase the effect -of hand embroidery. These braids come in colors to match most of the new shades of dress material. They are especially effective on pongees and shantungs done In self tones.

For the Needleworker.

Use cotton tape for binding the plackets of small children’s drawers—one piece for each placket Sew the sleeves of thin waists in a French seam, stitching twice the last time. This is not so heavy as a binding. Keep a stiletto on your machine—lt turns under the edges of hems and fells like magic, and is, besides, useful : .n many other ways.

Indoor Dresses

yard bodice lining. For the second old pink voile is used; the skirt here also has a panel front braided at the foot; the sides and back are untrimmed, but are set in flat pleats to the waist-band. The bodice has a round yoke of finely tucked silk; the material is also tucked and joins yoke under a band of braided material; the wide, untucked piece in front is also braided, as are the cuffs of the tucked sleeves; black ribbon is draped across front of bodice and falls in long knotted ends on left side, being fixed toothe waistband under a rosette. Materials required: 8 yards 46 inches wide, % yard silk, 1% yard lining.

FOR DINNER OR THEATER

Satin Dress That Exists to Be a Testimonial to the Skllj, of the Modiste. -

This is a style well suited to satin, and the color chosen here is moonlight blue. The skirt is made with a straight panel down center of front, edged each side with pearl insertion. The sides and back are then gathered in at the wajst, and again at lower part to a band of Insertion; below this

the satin is plain. The bodice has a wide fold on each shoulder, edged on the inner side by insertion; a strip of this edges the top, also sleeves, which are arranged in folds. Buttons add to trimming on bodice and skirt. Materials required: 7 yards satin, about 8 yards Insertion, 4 dozen but tons.

A Dressmaking Hint.

In stitching the work drops over the machine and often is dragged into the wheel. A plain cretonne curtain, tucked just under the shelf or table of the machine, helps wonderfully with this trouble. Tucks must not be left out to catch on the work.

Simple Markings.

Simple markings on watches and lockets are in favor. If the block tetter with or without a circle or oval is not used, old English Initiate are ths i next favorite.

Odd News From Big Cities

Stories of Strange Happenings in the Metropolitan Towns

Mine Fraud Gang Gets Many Millions

NEW YORK.—Three hundred thousand dollars of easy money pour into the offices of fraudulent mining stock brokers of New York every day v according to conservative estimates made by Post Office Inspector Warren W. Dickson, in charge of the York division. In the last three years $100,000,000 has been filched from the pockets of small investors and women. Thirty million dollars went into the coffers of one concern alonp. A hundred million went to all of them during the three years preceding the panic of 1907. The estimate is that the fraudulent operations, this year will be $73,000,000, and the figures are on the increase. A so-called “suckers’ list,” bearing the names of 250,000 who have “bit” and will probably bite again, is the most-prized asset of the big concerns that do the business. Under a working “understanding” they all have access to the same list of victims. The magnitude of the fraudulent operations has caused the postal authorities to concentrate a strong force In opposition to the bogus mining con-

Censorship for the Moving Pictures

ST. LOUIS.—Very few of the many thousands of persons who nightly attend the moving picture shows and see the words, “Licensed by the National Board of Censorship,” flashed on the screen at the end of a film know what the sentence means. They have a vague idea that the film has undergone some sort of scrutiny. They do-not know whether the work nas been well or indifferently done, except as they judge from the film that has just been shown. The line flashed on the screen is in reality a seal of respectability, for the films that receive the approbation of the board are supposed to have had all objectionable features removed, if there were any that needed removal. Tvjice a week, on Mondays and Frl-, days, the censorship committee meets to pass on the films. Before a film is shown printed cards are passed around

Little “Cowboy” Meets Tragic Death

CHICAGO. —It was a game of “Indian.” In the fertile of four-year-old “Captain Jack” Sexton, the alley was peopled with hawkeyed savages and the red-skinned scouts looked down menacingly from the tops of the neighboring buildings. A war bonnet showed above an adjoining fence, but a well aimed shot from a wooden rifle laid its wearer in the dust. To the little band led by "Captain Jack” the scene was not in the rear of the Sexton home at 6455 Ingleside avenue, but was instead in the vague plains of the west, where once the Apache left his bones beside those of his pale-faced enemy. To thenrthe fire around which they romped was a camp fire, and beyond the circle of its light lay all the dangers of a trackless wilderness.

Women Carry Dolls Instead of Dogs

PARIS. —The very latest is to carry a doll Instead of a dog. The foolish erase began in Paris a month ago. The Idea originated lp>the cracked brain of that same King of Fashion who is guilty of originating the hobble skirt. Babies? Such things must be left at home in charge of the nurse. These dolls that have ended the day of the pet dog are wondrous affairs. They have a very decorative effect and are the most expensive toys that the woman of fashion has had to play with. The dolls themselves are worth only a few dollars. They have bisque features, human hair and reversible joints, and are about thirty inches high. But they are gowned complete by the most celebrated modiste in Paris. Hare the for SBO.

cerns. Inspector Dickson, formerly stationed at St. Louis, who was the first man to put a check on the “green goods” game, has been placed in charge of the New York department. As a warning to the “suckers” he has told about the “Suckers’ Directory.” “Down in Pine street,” he s'ays, “there is today a well furnished office, most conservative in appearance, the ‘Suckers’ Directory’ of the fraud gang. The man in charge of the office has -never been suspected of his calling, and none of his associates believes that it is anything but legitimate. I am informed that the list of names is now nearing the quarter million mark, and growing daily. As soon as the concern puts out more literature, they consult the directory in order te get quick returns. Whenever a new victim bites his name is added to the list. “It seems that all a person has to do is to have a full page in a metropolitan paper advertising a bonanza, then scatter smaller advertisements through the country periodicals, usually reproducing the New York advertisements, with the statement: ‘Look what New York thinks of our invest-, ment,’ for the money to begin to pour in. The ‘Suckers’ Directory’ does the rest. There are skyscrapers in this city where bags of United States mall are carried in every day laden with checks and money orders, and not one penny of it gets outside the pockets of the promoters.”

to the censors. On them may be registered either absolute approval or disapproval, or any features that might be considered doubtful or objectionable noted. If there are all approvals, the film is, of course, passed-without further ado. If there are all rejections, it is, with as little ado, thrown out. But if only certain parts come in for either absolute disapproval or doubt such portions as they object to must either be stricken out entirely or modified according to their suggestions. In practise the manufacturers find that the best means of avoiding trouble is to secure the ideas of the censors before the film is produced. It is possible to do this, because a scenario is made out for each film, just as if a drama were to be presented at a theater. ' To produce these picture plays, regular companies of actors are formed, just as if they were to have speaking parts in a theater. *■ Their parts are made out for them, and they are cached—not in words, but in action. Now the careful marfufacturer sends his scenarios to the censors for approval, or for modification, if considered necessary.

Clad in a yellow “cowboy” suit With a gaudy fringe of scarlet tassels, "Captain Jack” crouched with ready rifle, his face flushed with enthusiasm as he scanned,the landscape for a hostile face. But the enemy was nearer and more subtle than even his childish imagination had pietured, and fanned by a fatal gust of wind the “camp Are” stretched out a flaming tongue and touched the flimsy garment of the little Indian hunter. There was a shout of warning from the other children, and a scream of pain from “Captain Jack.” As the flames spread over him he started running for his mother, but was caught by James Bennet, who was passing the house, and who smothered the fire with his coat. But rescue came too late, though the child was hurried to the hospital and tender hands cut the charred cowboy suit from the senseless form and dressed the seared flesh. And while his broken hearted mother knelt weeping at his beside “Capain Jack” entered that uncharted land more vast than all the plains beneath the sun.

there they run up to S2OO each. Add the |SO duties and transportation to New York and they will sell there at from $l5O to $250. Their originator argues that they will give an incentive o women to spend more money in will ra,se the « tandard sartorial taste. As if wealthy women needed to spend any more on dress than they do today! , drawba ck about the new md is the weight and size of the dolls, hey weigh about twenty pounds and a toy Pom weighs six, but the doll keeps still and the dog doesn’t Those t the 400 who lack muscle will take thelr jiqUs aboptintheir motor cars, only carrying them when they alight f °ra languid- shopping expedition. Those women whesetibefaxhimih in Paris, the favorttfed>bfi Vlettiog kings and lesser potentates, first appeared at the swagger restaurants with the dolls. Immediately the “high world” had to imitate the “half world." Proprietors York Bh °P 8 returned home with the bedecked dolls and the fad is on. London has already taken ng the craze. >