Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 246, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 October 1910 — Page 2

The Daily Republican ■very D»J Except Sunday HEALEY A CLARK. Publlxherx. INDIANA.

An early and severe winter Is predicted. This Is cold comfort. New York Is the second city In the world, but It feels big as the first The redeeming feature about the pictured hobble skirt is its impossibility. Alcohol is a necessity In paint It eeem to have a special afilnlty for red paint Whose business it Is, anyway, what particular variety of hat you choose to wear? The man who said summer is over Is hunting his old straw hat in the ash barrel. The government Is advertising for a xylotomlst If you know a good one Ml him about It Here’s a centenarian who swears off on liquor and tobacco. -It's never too late, you know. Infant paralysis is no respector of age. It has Just killed a .woman of sixty-six In Connecticut Pittsburg man Invents an apparatus for forecasting earthquakes. No family should be without one. Count Zeppelin’s airships can never Increase their popularity by making a specialty of blowing up. What a fine opening that alligator swimming at large in Paw Paw lake offers to ambitious bathers! Market report announces, "Eggs strong at 32 cents a dozen.’’ How much for those that are not? A fund to pension aged and wornout authors Is suggested. Why not pension worn-out readers? The man who "always gets up at daylight in the summer time” does it because the flies won’t let him sleep any longer. According to advices counterfeit flfty-dollar bills are being circulated, but fortunately most of us are out of the danger zone. A $60,000 bulldog has died in England, and there is to be a post-mortem investigation. It is an important thing to be a $60,000 bulldog. Emperor William is a man of stubborn opinions. He «tlll sticks to the divine right of kings and to his belief that he can write an opera. A western minister informs us that automobile speeders never go to heaven. Probably the golden strets are policed too well to attract them. New York plans to spend over $4,000,000 for its health next year. As that is less than $1 for each New Yorker, it would seem to be worth the money. It has been estimated that the average American eats 82 pounds of sugar every year. Now wet like to know how many pounds he pays for to get that quantity. —^ The astronomers who are trying to work up another comet scare are hereby politely but firmly advised that the public is disillusioned now about anything coming back. The hobble skirt, according to one of the fashion journals, “will die a natural death.” Having seen it in action, we are afraid some of its Wearers will not be so fortunate. ' “The grasshopper serves no useful purpose," declares a scientist. Indeed! Did the scientist ever go out after •mall-mouth bass in August when the bass wouldn’t bite on green frogs? The aviating joy ride has been inaugurated. This should be nipped in the bud. With aviation going on in a scientific and respectable manner it will upset aerial travel at the start to have reckless aviators darting along through space, ready to collide with any other old aeroplane whieh may happen along, or to drop on unsuspecting pedestrians without warning. In actual warfare the dropping of a dynamite bomb down the funnels of a battleship from an aeroplane would doubtless cause serious internal complications on the part of the battleship. But also the planting of a one to three-inch shot in the motor or steering apparatus of the aeroplane would doubtless disorganize the airship belligerent. It is all a question of which gets Its projectile properly located first „ A parachute performer in red tights frightened tSe Rockefeller estate by descending on it from the air and was carefully carried outside the gate. Perhaps they thought it was the Ti-tian-baired siren, whose recent discovery has so perturbed the oil trust A young woman in New York tried to kill herself because editors would not publish her poetry. If that were cause for suicide, half the present population of the country would long ago have ceased making a show Ip the census returns.

Codfish and Cupid

(Copyright, 1810. by Associated Literary Press.)

When Robert Hamilton’s Uncle died the young man inherited seven codfish apd a spacious tank for the same along with several volumes on fish culture. To cheer the despondent Robert, SBO,OOO accompanied this eccentric gift, all to be his own If he abided by several conditions—easy conditions. Ezra Dodderman had won the beginning of his fortune as the captain of a fishing smack oft the coast of New England, and his sentiment for his dull-eyed pets, while freakish, was commendable. A codfish could not be called frivolous. All It asks Is plenty to eat and a bit of brine wherein occasionally to move an indolent fin. Ezra Dodderman’s .seven bewhlskered emulsion makers, while parlor cod, were no exceptions to the general rule. Ezra wouldn’t have thought of keeping their huge tank-home in any other room in his modest domicile. The parlor for his finny ones! Hadn't their kind established the moneyed house of Dodderman? Nothing should be too good for them. He gave them fresh sea water twelve times a day. The SBO,OOO that came to Hamilton was accompanied by the command that the pets of the departed be given all the comforts of home; namely, a conspicuous place In the parlor and twelve changes of sea water each day. Failure to make good in any of these conditions would result in a withdrawal of the coin, and another intimate acquaintance with the bookkeeper's high stool for the lanky side-whiskered Robert. Hamilton was of the young-old type that is often found in clerkly capacities in business institutions. His life was clocklike, mechanical. He went to work at a certain hour and did everything as he had done it each day during his connection with Clegton & Clogg. He lunched at a certain hour and returned to his home at a certain hour! Life with Robert Hamilton was a system. Uncle Ezra had put an end to this system. Hamilton was horrified when the Breezeville lawyer cited the conditions attached to the acceptance of his uncle’s legacy. The attorney, in turn, was horrified when the bookkeeper refused to consider them. It took seven days of picturesque eloquence to bring the unimaginative plodder around. Hamilton was not married. His scaled wards were moved Into his humble cottage in the night. The bookkeeper was ashamed of them. His housekeeper, an aged dame, who had been sworn by the youth to keep closed lips as to the presence of the tank and its inmates, snorted disgustedly as she stared through the thick glass of the acquarium into the expressionless eyes of the slothful seaparasites. Thence on, a tank of water arrived each week from Boston. Fortunately, Hamilton’s little cottage was near the tracks, and at very little expense he had a spur thrown into his back yard. People were curious about the importation. Some thought Robert had discovered oil in his cellar. They didn’t know about the fish. Hamilton, long since drifted into a rut, would have kept to his job at the Clegton-Clog hooka willingly. This was made impossible by the imperative clause in the will demanding twelve changes of water for the fish. The antiquated slavey refused to deliver over the green stuff from the eastern coast to the parlorites. It was necessary for Hamilton to attend to it himself. Hamilton always dressed in black. He wore stiff white shirts and white ties. His modest garb and reddish sideburns lent him a ministerial dignity, and this was even as it should be, for Richard was a model young man. He did not indulge in tobacco, liquor or expressive expletives. And yet there are flaws in all good timber. Hamilton had one dissipation. Her name was Annabelle Lea. Annabelle Lea was a rabbit-faced damsel, who, despite her omnipresent expression of meekness, had a most resolute will of her own. She had known Robert all her life. They capered in the same exclusive society. For three years the bookkeeper had paid Annabelle assiduous attention. She believed be intended to marry her, and her ladylike heart plta-a-patted at his very approach. She kept her determined spirit in the background. Robert, however, was, at this particular period, far too busy with codfish to bother about girls. No one in the village knew of the youth’s inherited $80,000; no more, in fact, of this than they did of his parlor boarders. Therefore, their various of rustic curiosity throbbed when Hamilton resigned his position and stuck clannishly to his cottage, save on prayer meeting nights and Sabbath mornings. All of this precluded the ambitions Annabelle from the cod fishy secret eating out the heart of the man she intended to marry. After several weeks she doffed her maidefily diffidence and called. > Robert was at home. He was always at home. He Invited the lady into his sitting-room. Heretofore, on previous calls, Annabelle had been usbered Into the parlor. In this failure to comply with an ethical condl*

By STACY E. BAKER

tion long established, Annabelle believed that she could discern a wavering affection. She smiled. “I thought maybe you were ill?” commenced Annabelle, coyly. “That la why I called today. I haven’t seen you pass the house on your way to work lately. You know, Robert, that dear mother used to say before she was taken away that there was no one in town as clever as I when it came to sickness, and —’’ "I’ve quit work,” interupted Robert, hastily. "Quit?" gasped Annabelle. Robert, out of work, was not the catch that Robert, faithful retainer of the Cleg-ton-Clogg institution was. "Ummm," laconically acquiesced Hamilton, "I’ve got money, you know. ■No reason for me to keep bent over a huge ledger all the days of my life.” This was news to Annabelle. Robert, however, had the reputation for truthfulness not to be denied. She had no reason to disbelieve him. She resumed the sheep’s eyes and small talk. Just as things were progressing nicely a peculiar noise caused Robert to excuse himself and enter the parlor. He made a hurried exit immediately, tore madly out through the kitchen door and returned almost Instantly with two brimming palls of water. These were taken beyond the sacred portals. No explanation of this strange conduct was vouchsafed the caller as the flushed ex-book-keeper again Joined her in the sit-ting-room. Annabelle politely waited for some time, then, with a reproachful glance at the young man, carefully picked up the broken threads of conversation. Annabelle went home with food for thought. Her little flyer in love had been moderately successful. Richard had cast several admiring glances her way, but the marathon of the youth into the parlor was beyond her. The parlor of the Hamilton home was the hub of mystery. Robert had explained, in an embarrassed way, that he was engaged in a special work. Annabelle told him that she would call again. She did, and once more departed, more mystified than ever. Robert’s eccentricities bordered on insanity. He needed watching—study. During Annabelle’s every visit the young man frequently excused himself and dashed wildly into the parlor in response to an imperative flap that sounded like nothing she had ever heard before, The cod, when their water became foul, made Impatient and gasping pilgrimages into the air, returning noisily. It was on her fifth visit to the house of Robert and on one of his hurried rushes to the rear of the cottage after the essential brine, that the girl determinedly opened the door, and the mystery was laid bare. Annabelle gaped, unplcturesquely, perhaps, but not naturally. The seven scaled ones gathered curiously at the glass side of their prison and stared fishily, shaking their w'hiskers the while. The burden-bearing Robert entered, and gasped when he suddenly realezed the presence of his fair one. Here was an end to his one romance. He sighed lugubriously. Annabelle was speaking. “Robert Hamilton! What does this mean?” Robert shame-facedly confessed his heart-hidden secret. The maid’s voice was so forceful he couldn’t help himself. “Umm,” ventured Annabelle at the completion of the story. “You need a guardian, Robert, and I deem it my duty to marry you at once and stay right here with you. In these days of good plumbing it is silly to be bound as a waiter to a gang of gangling codfish. We will Just connect pipes with faucets to come over this vat with a drain to carry away the refuse water. No need for so much fuss and flurry.” Annabelle married him. Under her capable direction codfish culture became a pleasure.

Death from electricity may come from paralysis of the heart or by stoppage of breathing. In some cases, after getting the shock the victim has been able to get up, walk and talk about his accident, then falling stone dead directly afterward. Sensibility to electricity is very different in animals. In Vienna experiments have been made on ten different species. The horse was killed instantly on 100 volts; the strength of the common house current is about 100 volts. Dogs are almost as easily killed. A rabbit stood a much stronger current But the experimenters not kill a frog with all the current they had. Looks like a butt-in-place for antlvivisectionists —If any are left

There is a movement afoot to compel young men to get on their knees when they propose.” “After they have proposed I suppose it will he proper for the young ladies to get on their knees.”

Semple—Johnson has trained his cat to climb a brick wall. Nistor—Oh, that’s no stunt; I’v* trained my ivy to do that

Mysterious Electricity.

Certainly.

Equal to the Cat.

I Four PM lets o; MUNYDNS DYSPEPSIA SECURE rifii! !ii\ iCJi/IMIP Hf.H’ll (JlJi stullUK lii-.dlld rplicw*

PATEIITSSSF^H TJUSINESB OPPORTUNITIES. Thirty per "cent Investment—perhaps more. Write lor Circular. Address Hon. H. M. Coudrey, M C.. Washington, D. C. ’

A woman Is judged by the society she’s unable to get into. Lewis’ Single Binder gives a man what he wants, a-»rich, meHow-tasting cigar. If it had not been for his lantern and the tub he lived In, probably Diogenes would never have been heard of.

Instant Relief for All Eyes,

that are irritated from dust, heat, mm or wind, PETTIT’S EYE SALVE, dsc. All druggists or Howard Bros., Buffalo, N. Y. It Is a shame for people who hare in their lives a consciousness of love and character and courage, to fall Into the wasteful folly of unhappiness about the unimportant.—Margaret Deland.

DR. MARTEL’S FEMALE PILLS.

Seventeen Years the Standard. Prescribed and recommended for Women’s Ailments. A scientifically prepared remedy of proven worth. The result from their use is quick and permanent. For sale at all Drug Stores.

Uncalled For.

’ T hear the old bridge outside ot Plunkville has collapsed.” “Yes, and the town council can’t understand it. We had just given that bridge a coat of paint. Why, it looked like new.’’—Louisville Courier-Journal.

DISTEMPER

In all its forms among all ages of horses, as well as dogs, cured and others in same stable prevented from having the disease with SPOHN’S DISTEMPER CURE. Every bottle guaranteed. Over 600,000 bottles sold last year $.50 and SI.OO. Any good druggist, or send to manufacturers. Agents wanted. Spohn Medical Co., Spec. Contagious Diseases. Goshen, Ind.

Not Responsible.

Nurse—What’s that dirty mark on your leg. Master Frank? Frank—Harold kicked me. Nurse—Well, go at once and wash It off. Frank—Why? It wasn’t me what did It!—Punch.

She Has Changed Her Opinion.

"I hear your maiden aunt Is visiting you.” "Yes. Came yesterday.” "How long does she expect to stay?" “Oh, I don’t know—probably for some time.” “I feel sorry for your wife. I believe I heard her say not long ago that she despised the old lady.” . “She used to, but she has changed her opinion—In fact, has great respect for her now. Aunt Hetty brought three trunks, two .of them filled with things she smuggled in from Europe.”

Telephonic Reply.

The elderly stranger, by Invitation of the superintendent, was addressing the Sunday school. “How many can tell me,” he asked “which is the longest chapter In the Bible?” Many hands went up. “This little boy may answer,” he said, pointing his finger at aif urchin In one of the seats near the front “Which is the longest chapter In the Bible?” “Psalm double one nine!” shouted Tommy Tucker.

DAME NATURE HINTS When the Food Is Not Suited.

When Nature gives her signal that something is wrong it 1b generally with the food. The old Dame is always faithful and one should act at once. To put off the change is to risk that which may be irreparable. An Arizona man says: “For years I could not safely eat any breakfast. I tried various kinds of breakfast food, but they were all soft, starchy messes which gave me distressing headaches. I drank strong coffee, too, which appeared to benefit me at the time, but added to the headaches afterwards. Toast and coffee were no better, for I found the toast very constipating. “A friend me to quit the old coffee and the. starchy breakfast foods, and use Postum and Grape-Nuts instead. I shall never regret taking his advice. 1 began using them three months ago,« - ~— “The change they have worked in me is wonderful. I now have no more of the distressing sensations in my stomach after eating, and I never have headaches. I have gained 12 poundß in weight and feel better in every way. “Grape-Nuts make a delicious as well as a nutritious dish, and I find that Postum is easily digested and never produces dyspepsia symptoms.” "There’s a Reason.” Get the little book, "The Roan to Wellville,” in pkgs. Brer read the above letter? A new aae appears from tfae to tine. They ore Pennine, tree, and tall of u —-

SAID BY THE YOUNGSTERS

Bome Bright Remarks Worth Preserving, That Have Fallen From Childish Ups. A little girl, after listening to the hymn, “In heaven there stands an ever open door," rerifarked that there must be two heavens, " ’cause grandma’d never had any open door where she Is." And a dear little country laddie, visiting a city Sunday school and hearing about the “many mansions” of the better land, later explained that they had been "studying all abeut ’Paradise Flats.’ ” Ecclesiastical modes and matters frequently are puzzling to the little ones. A small Chicago citizen was taken to a fine church, where the music, windows, furnishings, and all accessories were as impressive as the building. The minister, living up to his enviable reputation as an orator, indulged in a brilliant rhetorical flight. “I know," he declared, “who gilds the sun and silvers the stars and paints the flowers and tints the sky and lends to the rivers their beauty, to the ocean its glory, to the skies their perfect light," and so on through long and effective periods. Finally came the Interrogatory climax: “Who Is It, my friends, who performs all these wonders? Who is It? Who?” From the front pew where the baby listener had been all eager attention came a shrill, disappointed pipe: "You said you knew!”

TO SAVE TIME.

Algy Weakling—Miss Wise, I-aw-that Is —Gladys, I-er-deslre to-aw! really— Gladys Wise—Keep right on; I’ll consider your proposal and have my answer ready by the time you have gotten It out of your system.

ACT PROMPTLY.

Kidney troubles are too dangerous to neglect. Little disorders grow serious and the sufferer is soon in the grasp of diabetes, dropsy or fatal

Bright’s disease. Doan’s Kidney Pills cure all distressing kidney ills. They make sick kidneys well, weak kidneys strong. E. C. McClanahan, Market St, New Richmond, 0., says: “Kidney disease had

almost brought me to my grave. I was rendered almost helpless and suffered agony. My feet were so badly swollen I could not walk. The kidney secretions were thick and painful In voiding. I doctored hut steadily grew weaker. I then used Doan’s Kidney Pills and gradually improved. They saved my life.” Remember the name—Doan’s. For sale by all dealers. 60 cents a box. Foster-Milbum Co., Buffalo, N. 1.

Experience Teaches.

“Sure, and. OI t’lnk It pays to be honest, afther all,” said Pat. “Ol troied thot phoneywelght business In my grocery sthore lasbt year, and Ol losht money by ut.” “How so? Did you get found out?” asked his friend. “No, sorr,” returned Pat “Ol made the mistake of fillin’ me weights wid lead, so thot lvery mon thot come to me for wan pound of sugar got twintythree ounces to the pound.”—Harper’s Weekly,

Catarrh Cannot Be Cured with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they cannot reach the seat of the disease. Catarrh la a blood or ednatt* tutional disease, and In order to cure It you must taka internal remedies. Hall’s Catarrh Cure la taken Internally. and acta directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces. Hall’s Catarrh Cure le not a quack medicine. It was prescribed by one ot the best physicians in this country for years and Is a regular prescription. It Is composed of the best tonics known, combined with the best blood purifiers, acting directly on the mucous surfaces. The perfect combination ot the two ingredients is what produces such wonderful results In curing catarrh. Send for testimonials, free. F. J. CHENEY A CO.. Props.. Toledo, O. Sold by Druggists, priee 75c. Take Hall’s Family Pills for constipation.

Consulting the Playwright.

"My star can wiggle his ears and whistle through his teeth.” “Urn.” “Now, can you build me a first-class comedy around that?”

TRY MURINE EYE REMEDY for Red, Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes and Granulated Eyelids. Murine Doesn’t Smart—Soothes Bye Pain. Druggists Sell Murine Eye Remedy, Liquid, 25c, 50c, SI.OO. Murine Eye Salve In Aseptic Tubes, 25c, SI.OO. Bye Books and Eye Advice Free by Mall. Murine Bye Remedy Co., Chicago. An optimist believes In mascots; a pessimist believes in hoodoos. i. *"• Winslows Sooth Ins Syrup. for chi Id run teething, eoftene tbegumu, reduceulnS»mm»lJnnj»il»y»neln.cnreawlD<looUe. 25c a bottle. One genius Is about all the average family can afford. - ,y~. - TW There are imitations, don't be fooled. Ask for Lewis’ Single Binder cigar for se. If you are a self-made man try to bo a self-contained one also.

HFD PHYSICIAN APPROVES Taking Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound Sabattus, Maine.—“ You told me to take Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable H Compound and Liver Pills before child-birth, and we are all surprised to see how much good it did. Mv physician said * Without doubt it was the Compound that helped you.* I thank you for your kindness in advising me and give you full permission to use my name in your testimonials.”—Mrs. H. W. Mitchell, Box 8, Sabattus, Me. Another Woman Helped. GrandteviUe, Vt —“ 1 was passing through the Change of Life and suffered from nervousness and other annoying symptoms. LydiaE. Pinkham’s veg£ table Compound restored my health strength, and proved worth mountains of gold to me. For the sake of other Buffering women I am willing you should publish my letter.” Mrs. Cblables Barclay, 8.F.D., GraniteWomen, who are passing through this critical period or who are suffering from any of those distressing ills peculiar to their sex should not lose sight of the fact that for thirty years Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound, which is made from roots and herbs, has been the standard remedy for female ills. In almost every comtaunity yon will find women who have been restored to health by Lydia £. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound.

The Wretchedness of Constipation Can quickly be overcome by CARTER’S LITTLE jm LIVER PILLS. —act surely and gently on the JSSSSSSSSi VrAßTtlw ' ach^ nem, and laJigesfaoa. They da Am duty. Small PH, Small Deae. 'Small Price, f' Genuine mmUm Signature W. L. DOUGLAS H Vrocess EO SHOES HEN'S $2.00, $2.50,58.00, $3.60, $4.00, $5.00 WOMEN’S $2.50, $8,58.80,U BOYS’ $2.00, $2.50 to $3.00 M R THE STANDARD Jf Ifc FOR 30 YEARS They are absolutely the BR most popular and bestshoes kw 7 Vy for the price in America. They are the leaders every- M/UaS. Jr ' where because they hold their shape, fit better, jSfeflJsßrA look better and wear lonfer than other makes. hey are positively the fmm&hg&wMSßQb most economical shoe* for you to bay. W. L. Douglas name and the retail price are stamped on the bottom—value guaranteed. TAKE NO substitute I It you dealer cannot supply you writs for Mall Order Catalog. W. L. DOUGLAS. Brockton, “-i WHAT’S Your Health Worth? You start sickness by mistreating nature and it generally shows first in the bowels and Iter. A ioc box (week's treatment) of CA SC A RETS will help nature help you. They will do more—using them regularly aa yon need them—than any medicine on Earth. Get s box today; take a CASCARBT tonight Better in the morning. It's the result that makes millions take them. ggl £ A y*’ tt y r ?, »oc a box for a vwk’s treatment, all druggists. Biggest m the world. MflOon boxea a month. WANTED MANAGER MAN OR WOMAN *> introduce White Ribbon Ooohafftbf^? I1 '»i coh ? 1, .. c ' Flavoring In tube*. Bare* Mr S^^_® To rTb°<lT bare and reorders. Pil K«SifJfiW. c S B " ,ll, * olt Also local agents W* commission. J. a CkgltrCe., UNraseik Ba, cEl«s* Pr. Irthur’s Kl gss P ?" £% ior Inflammation of the Kidneys fU TF a n ?j B m? der ‘ .Dissolves lino K 7 Acid. The remedy for Rheums- -A tlsin. Trial package mailed freo. f. D. ARTHUR. M. D„ 68 Randolph, Chicago, Ul.flHBB SOILED DRESSES Waists, Gents Suits, Carpeu, Portieres, Plumes, etc. Send to Oehmlow’s.WOg-HN. HalamdSt., Chicago *he largest Cleaning and Dyeing Establishment In i Jt and yon will get them back cleaned or dyed and pressed satisfactory. Write tor prices. H E I£, f JJ-f K ’ ra: D, MALE. High grade men rt P, re “ n t new company. Only able salesmen need apply. Giro references, etc.. In lint P° »tt«ntlon paid. All eorrespondM. C O..^A r aahlngton, IXO?’*** “* * °°“ Ue7> REAL ESTATE. ■ S;S® asssjs? airsa • dT “~ L “ b#rt *s®- Tl“h«r, coal and phosphate s‘ n r^T*“g. cotton and grain far»»W,OOOXO. of other*, ' Sprite to Southern Land Company of Americas. Americas, Georgia.