Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 229, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 September 1910 — KEEP WIFE AS SWEETHEART [ARTICLE]

KEEP WIFE AS SWEETHEART

Schemes by Which the Husband May Retain the Love of His Spouse. If your wife does not love you as she did when you were married, you must have fallen off in your attentions. Remember that a wife is only a sweet-

heart a few years later. Make believe that she is still your sweetheart When you go home from business have the maid send your name up just as in the old days. A wife likes these little attentions, and if she is the right sort she will send down word that she will be down in a few minutes. Then put a five-pound box of candy in a prominent place and wait patiently. When you hear her coming, run to meet her and kiss her in a manly way as if you had waited all day for the privilege. Then give her the candy. If there is but one chair in the room let her sit in it while you stand. Now tell her the events of the day in the office in a witty way that will appeal to her love of fun. When the dinner bell rings, hand her a bunch of American beauties, pull out her chair for her and tie her napkin round her neck yourself. Then, with a low bow, seat yourself opposite her and begin to praise the food. Ask her to make sprightly remarks, and laugh heartily at them. Urge her to tell you about the cook’s doings. Just before dessert, show her the orchestra seats you have bought for the opera for that night Never light a cigar until you have asked her whether she objects to smoke. She may always say no, but there is no telling when her taste ihajf change, and no gentleman will smoke when his wife objects to, it. Give her twice as much as she wants for an allowance, and always forestall any requests she may be about to make. In this way you will retain your wife’s love and forever lead a Darby and Joan life.—Charles Battell Loomis in the Delineator.