Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 228, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 24 September 1910 — EXPLAINED TO FUNNY EDITOR [ARTICLE]

EXPLAINED TO FUNNY EDITOR

Enlightened by Woman Who Wants Monologue That Will Keep Her Talking Fifteen Minutes. “Are you the funny editor?*’ she asked, pausing for a moment in the doorway. “I want you to write a vaudeville sketch for me. I hope you’re going to be more sympathetic than you look, and that reminds me that of all the stony-hearted people I ever met in all my life a certain theatrical manager In this town—but I don’t suppose you care to hear about that, and I presume I ought to tell you at the start that I have been married. It was a very sad experience—and, really, it seems to me that anyone with the instincts of a gentleman would at least have given me a hearing, but when I offered to read a scene from Shakespeare he called for help, and, as I was saying, it was a very sad experience—I mean my married life. Why, he treated me as if I had been the merest scum of the street and didn’t even stop smoking 9 r ask me to Bit down when I went Into his office; but I suppose he must be bothered a great deal by all kinds of people who think they'can act. I had to leave him on account of his insane jealousy. If I merely spoke pleasantly to the postman he would fly into a passion, and almost the first thing he asked me was whether I’d be willing to wear tights, because he thought with my figure he might get me Into some company, no matter whether I had any talent or not—just think of that! I don’t believe we would ever have had any trouble if it hadn’t been for his mother. She was always throwing out sly hints and insinuating that I cared more for dress that I did for him, and all that, but it does seem to me that he might at least have taken his feet down from his desk, and oh, his language was something awful! I never was no insulted in all my life, but I suppose he had been used to dealing with a class of people who had to be talked to in that way. He might have seen by my appearance that I was used to Something different, and he looked me over as if I had Been merely a piece of furniture. His sister was partly to blame, too, and I can’t help feeling awfully thankful that we never had any children, for it’s such a pity when people who have little ones can’t live together. Do you think you could fix up a monologue thgt would keep me talking for about fifteen minutds?”