Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 200, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 23 August 1910 — Page 2

“G. N. R." A traveler to the north, having delivered his luggage to the care of an alert railway porter, proceeded to make himself comfortable in the corner of a first-class smoking compartment The porter, having performed his duty, came to the carriage to report not without expectation of acceptable reward,” ‘•Well," said the passenger, ”1 see by the letters ‘G. N. R.’ on your cap, ‘Gratuities never received.’" “Not quite that sir,” replied the porter, touching bis cap peak. “It might mean ‘Gratuities never refused.' " And the way that porter smiled when he left the carriage betokened his satisfaction at the material result of his smart answer and the service he had rendered. —Scraps.

He Knew the Painless Process.

The bald man had Just come in and was still wearing his hat He looked up from his desk at the thin young caller. “I have here, sir,” said the latter,glibly, “a preparation for removing superfluous hair. It removes it thoroughly and painlessly.” “Yes,” interrupted the bald man, wearily, “I know the process. My hair,” he added as he took off his hat, “was removed in the same way.”

Public Sets the Gait.

Winks—Don’t you think editors and reporters ought to be requested to sign their names to their articles? Jinks —No. Editors and reporters are not responsible for what they •write. “Who are, then?” “The people who buy the papers.”— New York Weekly.

Reversed.

“The wise men tell us,” said the star boarder, “that the less we eat the longer we live." “Yes,” replied the octogenarian boarder, whose diet was limited to milk and oatmeal, “and I also notice that the longer we live the less we eat” -

For Minor Heiresses.

“Have you a copy of Burke’s ‘Peerage’ you could loan me?" “I believe there's an old copy kicking around. What do you want with It?” “Just a little scheme. I’m thinking of compiling a mail-order catalog of bargain dukes.”

WHERE BEAUTY COUNTS.

“Good looks don’t amount to anything, after aIL” i “They don’t? Well, just come round to on- hoarding-house. That’s the place where the fellow with side whiskers gets the biggest piece of pie."

Wooden Courtship.

*3 pine for you,' the young man cried. She took him unawares, “Sprtice up! Spruce up! ere papa comes. He’s lumbering up the stairs!" The Immortal Sherlock. “Any clew?" “Only a broken window shutter,” said Dr. Watson. "What do you make of that, Sherlock?” “I can’t say yet,” answered the great detective. “He may have left It as a blind." -

A Warning.

“So Gazzam died suddenly. Was It the heat?" “Well—lncidentally." "What do you mean by incidentally?" "He kept asking people If it was hot enough for them."

Driven to It.

“Johnny positively refuses to wash his ears." “Then we must resort to heroic measures. Drop a postal for one of these vacuum-cleaning wagons to calL" »

Perfectly Harmless.

“A poet, writing of'his lost love, says: ‘I kiss your memory.’ " "Umph! I shouldn’t think there would be much danger from germs In doing that"

A Complete Change.

“You need a mental rest Stop discussing pennant prospects.’’ "But, doctor " "No argument, now. Talk golf for awhile Instead of baseball."

Drastic Criticism of Today.

. • "How did you like the show?" "Great There wasn’t a bad film In the bunch." „ • .. Q . ' •... ! v'.. ’. 1

SMILES

SONG OF THE FOOLKILLER. The foolklller said, said he I ride on the auto free. When the risks are rash And they scorch and smash Right there on the Job I’ll bet” The foolklller said, said he: “I swim In the lake or see: When the wight unscared Beyond his depth has fared I follow upbjn his lee.” The foolklller said, said he: *’l bend to the oar with glee; When the .boat Is rocked And the world Is shocked I listen to no one’s plea.” -• -V The foolklller said, said he: a ’’Some fly without sight of me; Drat the pesky things— I’m afraid of wings, And that’s the truth, b’gee!”

“Wot am de difFunce, Mistah Wal* kah, ’tween collectin’ graft f’m a divakeeper an’ detachin’ de kewpona fm a guv’ment bond?” “I don’t know, Sam; what IS the difference between collecting graft from a divekeeper and detaching the coupons from a government bond?” ”D one am a tariff fur perfection, an’ de uddah am a tear-off fur rev’nue only.” ‘‘Ladies and gentlemen, the, brass lunged basso, Sig. pmltz de Growells, will now sing a selection entitled: ‘You Smoke ’Em, George, and Yet You Live? How Sad!’”

Old Gentleman—So, he’s your little brother, eh? He seems to be a bright little chap. The Kid (proudly)—Bright? You bet he is! Cuss fer de gent, Jimmy.

The flypaper lay oa the table, * Where all could plainly see; Could 1 It speak ’twould probably say: “There are no files on me.”

The editor was trying to placate an indignant statesman. “All we said about you in the paper, Mr. Krakajak," he assured him, “was that you seemed to have an inadequate sense of proportion.” “Not by a blamed sight!” roared the caller. “What you said about me was that I seemedfbto have an inadequate proportion of sensei”

“Did you ever get a diamond ring at the seashore?” “Don’t make me laugh. But I’ll tell you what did happen.” “What?” "A fellow I was engaged to once bought me an ice cream soda.”

Gyer—An English scientist proposes to do away with those London fogs. Myer—How is he going to do it? Gyer—By erecting skyscrapers all over the city.

Wiggins—l tell you that a fellow who wants to get along these days must have some push about him. Higgins—l know a good many that are doing so because they have a pull.

When Hayrube bought a golden brick His heart was filled with rage; "By grass!" said he, "I sure hev reached What’s called ’a green old age.' "

"'Why are the sad sea waves moaning on the shore?" “Probably because thy realize that they will never get any closer than they are at the present moment to that girl in a swell bathing suit"

Amusement Note.

"Anything entertaining booked in the city for the fall?" “Oh, yes. The successful dramas which have made a hit this season In New York and Chicago, some new vaudeville acts and the Downs trial.“

Our Own Minstrels.

REAL TALENT.

The Flyless Kind.

Which Is Different.

Down to Facts.

A Doubtful Scheme.

POLITICALLY.

He Was It.

Not for Them.

For Hot Weather

When the sun strengthens and blazes in the sky and beat becomes a factor to reckon with In dress, and everything else, millinery must be cool looking or it will fail to be attractive. All white or combinations of white with black, give us the crispest and best effects for the dog days. But white set off with a bit of scarlet, deft blue or leaf green is smart and effective also, and may be chosen instead of white with black. Black for day time wear is not cool looking except when made of the thinest fabrics, like lace and net. The big black hats of hair braid or pyroryllne are lacy in texture and the admiration and the darling of the summer girl's heart This season they belong to the “mystery” class; those hats that come down over the head, veiling the eyes and showing the profile from one side only. The corday hats of net hnd lace

CHARMING LINGERIE GOWN

Exceedingly Pretty Dress Eminently Suitable for Garden Party or River Wear. A very'charming lingerie gown has a smartly cat skirt tucked flounce, upon which appears a row of vandyked insertion, the insertion being continued at the top of the flounce in the same form, and appearing at intervals upon the skirt, the center im-

mediately below the knee being beautifully embroidered. The bodice has a collar of Valenciennes lace, insertions of which appear In dainty design upon the bodice and upon the long sleeves and waist belt, the center of the bodice being embroidered to match the skirt. This is an exceedingly pretty and useful model, and is eminently suitable for garden party or river wear. This model is the one Illustrated above.

Effective Sofa Pillows.

An effective and easily made sofa pillow for & summer home is made In oblong shape, 14 by 20 Inches. The pillow ,1s covered with plain heavy weave crash In ecru or gray. Two Inches from each end are bands of flowered cretonne three Inches wide crossing the pillow. These bands are edged on both sides with narrow ecru lace applied flat Another variation had the body of the pillow of flowered chintz or cretonne with bands of figured ecru linen such as Is used for furniture covering. The ends of this pillow have a two-inch wide linen lace In ecru tints.

or those made on the “helmet” shapes have captivated as many as the big 1 drooping picture hats. A lovely hat for the hot weather is shown here made of dead white chip, overlaid with black Chantilly lace. A grouping of tour immense roses in tulle and silk is mounted across the front, they are almost colorless with a blush of pale pink at the edges of some of the petals. The effect is of millinery as light as air. A pretty sailor for practical wear is trimmed with white wings and a coronet of plaited ribbon across the front. The shape Is a Milan in the natural pale yellow of the finished hat. Ajil the trimming is pure white and A crisp ’satin faced ribbon is chosen for making the plaiting; A floating washable lace veil Is the thing generally worn with these sailors.

ART IN WEARING OF SASH

Height and Breadth Can Be Increased' or Toned Down by Draping of Sash. There is a great deal of art in the wearing of a sash. One can increase one’s height or one’s breadth, adorn a plain gown, tone down an elaborate one, give a touch of distinction to one’s whole appearance, Blmply by the way in which the sash is draped and adjusted. Try wearing the sash"" in shawl style over the shoulders, caught by a stitch in back and tucked under the girdle, to fall in diagonal lengths to just above the ankles. Or wind it twice around the wais?T* like a girdle; cross it in front and fasten with a knot at the sides of the skirt below the knees. Then there is the Scotch tartan effect, especially attractive with a plaid scarf, where there is a broad band over the left shoulder, a narrow draped one over the back and the right, and a knot at the waist on the left side, so that the sash falls in a broad width almost to the bottom of the frock. The adjustment of the sash may well have reference to the concealment of some defect in the garment it covers—a tiny tear, perhaps, or an ineradicable stain. It should emphasize the good points of the figure and hide the bad. That is why the old fashion of the stiff bow at the back was so bad; it made every woman look stout. - ~ Give a little thought to the draping of your sash, and half your battle for beauty of appearance is won.

The Dainty Negligee.

Painty negligees appeal to mos£ women and when these pretty garments can be made at home without much trouble they are especially •Interesting. in one model seen recent* ly the material was fine white cross bar dimity and might have been cut by a simple long kimono pattern. The neck was finished with a large shawl dollar of perslan lawn and Valenciennes Insertion, and the large flowing sleeves were in the same lingerie effect. Both sleeves and collar -#ere edged with a lace frill. A casing of the lawn was sewed ca the gown at short. walßt length and was threaded with pink ribbons which tied in the front at the ends of the deep collar.

Tulle Roses.

A charming trimming on a pink silk evening dress seen recently consisted of a cluster of five rosea, formed of pink tulle, with green tulle stems twisted over thin wire, sewed' to the left side of the low seek. The effect was exceedingly, attractive, and showed again the value of the little touches to raise a gown from the commonplace.

A GARDEN IN THE ORIENT.

One In Fez Where Is Heard Music That Was Old When the Pyra- , mlda Were New. A garden does not necessarily mean a collection of flowers arranged more or less symmetrically, with spaces of lawn, shelter of trees, and paths hither and Gather. There have been gardens that, beyond a terra-cotta Jar or two holding a rosebush or a flowering almond, have had no green,thing within their— gates. I know of an Oriental garden in Fez where whitegarmented Moors come In the cool of the evening to sit and listen to ancient stories that they know by heart, or to music that was old when the pyramids were new, or perhaps to look at a dancing girl or two taking soft steps while they smoke their narghiles; yet that garden is nothing more than a series of arches upholding walls beyond walls,, toned a faint, mysterious yellow that is not yellow, but white, and yet not white, hut rose. In the middle is a pool of water in a stone basin that looks blue because of the intense sky overhead, and that shimmers with golden reflections from the walls. In a corner stands a mighty Jar full of strange, scarlet blossoms, and rugs cf deep color and intricate patterp lie on the sun-warmed flags. There is always the fairy music of dropping water, and wonderful shadows move among the arches. This place is a garden for all that It is so bullded of man. The word court will not do for It. It may be that a garden, as has been" said of Boston, Is Jess a material thing than a state of mind. The story of the Garden, of Eden seems to hint at something of the sort; and had we all permission to create an Eden of our own, doubtless these would vary as greatly as do the secret desires of every heart, the inner life of .every soul. If, therefore, in speaking of a garden, one pictures something that to another may not appear to conform strictly to the term, what matter? If the garden spirit is there, it will incarnate itself for the true believer, who is always a seer.—Century.

No Love for the Turtle.

“The only living thrng in this place that nobody ever tries to pet is the turtle,” said the animal dealer. “There are certain tones of the voice, certain pats and punches that all animals are especially responsive to. Parrots like to be rubbed at a certain spot on the top of the head, a magpie is happiest when somebody is scratching him under the wings, and certain other birds have a preference for tickling under the chin. The dogs, the cats, the mice and the snakes are partial to a particular kind of love making, and every day we have visitors who know enough about natural history to pet each bird and beast according to its likes—everything, that Is, but the turtle. Nary a pat nor a punch nor a tickle does anybody bestow upon him. Sometimes I feel sorry for the poor old chap floundering In his pool in solemn loneliness. Touched to compassion by the affecting picture, the visitor extended a hesitating hand. “How do you pet a turtle, anyhow?" was asked. “Give it up,” said the dealer. “I never got very intimate with ’em myself."

Perfumed Beds.

"There is nothing very novel, the uninitiated may think, about perfumed beds, for every one knows how good housewives have for a generation prided, theifiselves on theiu. hapery, and that one of their special little fads was to place lavender bags among the sheets in order to add a little to the luxury of the sleeper. But when perfumed beds are talked of nowadays something is contemplated which was unknown to the old-time housewife. _ Now between the mattress and the sheet, there is laid a scented pad—a thin Quilted affair, which has one layer of cotton freely sprinkled with the favorite sachet powder——which causes the whole bed to smell deliciously of roses, violets, or whatever may be the chosen perfume. Pillows are also opened and sachet powder is sprinkled among the feathers. Orris makes a perfume resembling violets, and there are some people who like that ot pine, which is easily obtained by gathering the needles from the trees in summer and laying them flat in little sacks, which are inserted in both pads and pillows.

The Unreality of Opera.

There are people who still complain of the unreality of opera, who cannot subject themselves to Its illusion. And indeed the illusion of opera breaks down if everything in it is not kept at the same distance from reality. In that world of musical expression we must never be suddenly lowered by any incongruous detail into the ordinary world of prose. Realism, the attempt to work upon the emotions by complete illusion of reality, is disastrous in opera. If the scene is a railway station we remember at once that people do not sing when they are catching trains.

Hardly Ever.

Beene, schoolmaster’s study. Master —"Why were you late for early school, Wright?" Wright—" Please, sir, I must have overwashed myself.”

An Inherited Thirst.

"Barker has a terrible thirst. It’s Inherited.” “Yes. All his ancestors were abstainers.” u-. > - . ... ... .. . : ...j; ..

BELIEF IN “SIGNS”

SOUTHERN EDITOR GIVES OUT ASTONISHING INFORMATION. Curious Superstitions Btick In the Craw of Every People—Half Students In Big University Believe In Omens. Reversing the usual order of things, a southern educator went nqfth the other day and told a Washington audience some things to convince them' that men south of Mason and Dixon’s line occasionally have ideas, and good : at that. The educator in question talked about “Suggestions on the Psychology of Superstitions,” but his speech was not nearly as heavy as its title would indicate. He was talking in plain terms, about the curious superstitions that stick In the craw of elery people, and,asked his audience why it was that even educated peoples believe in things which are utterly absurd on their face. To. prove that his question was a fair one, he told of experiments recently ‘ trieA by him in one of the southern universities. The name of the institution, we may remark in passing, we shall reserve for the present lest some may be inclined to poke fun at its learned teachers and its superstitious students. The experiments in question concerned popular “signs.” The students wrote out all the superstitions' they remembered, and wrote under them whether or not they believed in them. The reports handed in by the college boys were a revelation. Old folk-leg-ends which h%d been handed down for generations were recalled, and superstitions shat are probably as old as the world itself were remembered by these educated sons of the twentieth century. One boy, for example, expressed his firm belief that if he picked his teeth with a splipter taken from a tree that had been struck by lightning he would never have the toothache. A number believed that hair cut at the time of the new moon would grow better than at any other time, while many expressed their opinion that if they dropped the kitchen dish rag they would soon have company. Others held that the man who carried a potato in his pocket would never have rheumatism, while a large number believed that when a dog howled a death in the family was impending. There were others as grotesque and as absurd as these. The amazing thing about'the whole affair was that so many of the students believed in these superstitions. Some 875 students were examined, and. of this number 45 per cent, believed in superstitions which numbered some i,ooor Perhaps even a larger percentage of the students believed in some superstitions, or at least partly believed in them. Not half the men were free from some belief in signs and omens. These are the facts that admit of no lispute. Men believe where they should 3TJtr-irelieve, and that is all there is to t. Their fathers believed before them, and their fathers before them, as far as history is recorded, as far as tralition runs. Some of same legends were believed when Aryan ancestors watched the heavens in the steppes of Central Asia, others were believed when the_ German tribes came into Europe; the Catholic saints believed them and the Greek heroes observed :hem, the~Anglo-Saxons followed them, and the Africans in the center of the. dark continent watched them day by lay. Civilization may move on, and men may be wiser tijan their sires, hut there is something in the mind of man that makes him believe where his reason doubts and his sane mind scoffs. - —Richmond Tlmes-Dispatch.

Where Women Ruled.

The native women of Hawaii have always been prominent in affairs of state, in latter days being limited by circumstances to private influence, public harangues, writing for __the newspapers or lobbying, and this being confined to a limited number. In ancient days rank of nobility descended from the mother, and the characters of many chleftainesses shine out as beacon lights in the history of this interesting, people. During the monarchy women held most responsible positions, especially under the earlier kings, as regents and premiers, antt" for some years, and until very lately, a woman versed in Hawaiian customs presided as Judge (and & jnost dignified judge) of the court of private wayß and water rights. What attitude the Hawaiian women as a whole would take on the equal suffrage question cannot be determined except by vote, but I think it fair to presume that they would favor it.— Columbian.

Avenues of Escape.

“And you say you have a fire escape at each floor?” said the applicant for a room. “Yes, we have,” replied the board-ing-house lady. “Must give you a feeling of secun tty?” “It does If the boarders are all paid up.”

Financial Disaster.

The Italian fruiterer, who had vain ly endeavored to instill true common cial instincts into the mind of his er rant son, was bewailing his fate at hli offspring’s-; perverse conduct: _ "I leava him for two mlnoot ata mj stand, and whata you, link? He rulni the buß’. To tala ruin. He sella thi front row of the orange." _