Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 184, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 4 August 1910 — Page 3

GATHERED SMILES

DECLARED OFF. “When can you spare the time for our marriage, Marion?” the betrothed man asked. The woman consulted her engagement book. “Three o’clock next Friday afternoon," she replied. “Oh, that will be out of the question,” he cried protestingly. "There’s a special meeting of the Glitter Gold company that I must attend at that time.” “Well, it’s the Only time I have,” she told him with an air of easy resignation. “Every other hour for the next two years is filled up.” The man jerked his shoulder irritably. “i guess we’ll have to csJl our little matter oft, then,” he said. "It seems to be inevitable,” she agreed, Indifferently. And so they parted, for with some people marriage is but an incident, and an Incident is, of course, too trivial to deserve the sacrifice of an event ! -V

Interested Them.

"I have here,” says the Inventor to the. capitalists, “two plans for radical' changes in sleeping cars.” “Yes?” murmurs the capitalists. “This plan Increases the space given to each passenger and makes the berth much more comfortable by—” “Can't consider it." “Well, the second plan makes the car uncomfortable, but it enables It to carry half as many more passengers, and—” '“Give us the complete details, with v estimates of cost."—Life.

Reason For Doubt.

The obese party with the big diamond in his tie claimed to be a Beltmade man and a millionaire. “But,” we asked, "were you not happier when you were earning $1.15 a day by the sweat of your brow?" “No,” he answered, “I am happier now than at any previous stage of the game.” Thus were we led to doubt the millionaire portion of the claim.

More Frenzied Finance.

Bleeker—l don’t see why our government should tax the people or need a tariff. It has exclusive control of the greatest money making business on earth. Meeker—Referring to the mint? Bleeker—No. The stamps we pay 8 cents apiece for cost the government only 7 cents a thousand.

BETTER.

The Bricklayer’s Wife—Dreaming, eh? I suppose you were building castles in the air. The Bricklayer—No. I’m mending chimneys of castles in the air.

How He Won Her.

Said she: ‘'Through Uto I’ll walk alone, In sunshine and stormy weather," But he bought an aeroplane next day— And now they are flying together.

Out of Season.

"Dese pure-food guys make me tired,” muttered Micky Jones, as he looked over the newspaper. ‘‘What’s de trouble, kiddo?” asked his chum. "Why, in de winter months dey always get oft dat gag about ice cream being adulterated an’ unhealthy. Why" don’t dey spring.it in dr summer when de goils are nagging yer every hour to treat?”

All in the Game.

Edyth—Have you heard the latest? Mayme—Don’t know. Let’s hear It. Edyth—Fred says his father threatens to disinherit him if he marries me. Mayme—Fudge! That’s merely a bluff to make you think Mb father has money.

Flaw in the Theory.

"Every girl,” remarked the fussy old bachelor, “should learn her father’s business and thus become independent." “Oh. I don’t know,” replied the fair maid. “My father is—er—a telegraph lineman."

Not Fit to Print

*‘l suppose a man who plays on a trombone calls himself a trombonist?“ "I believe so. Other people call him various names.” -

Success in Medicine.

First Young Doctor—When will you be able to get married? Second Young Doctor—l’m waiting now for only three operations more, “tlfa

THe HERO. The greatest hero of them all Is not the man behind the gun Nor he that scales a darning wall To rescue some weak, helpless one; . Joe ® not lead the rescue where The ship Is fast upon a rock, N ° r does he navigate the air— He s playing leads in summer stock. The maidens gaze at him and sigh. He Is the envy of the boys: His step is proud, his head Is high. He Is the loudest, sweetest noise; There Is no other In his class, llke a ®y turkey cock; The kiddies run to see him. pass— He s playing leads In summer stock. —S. E. Kiser, in Chicago Record-Herald.

Good Fishing.

K. M. Wharry was telling some friends about a proposed fishing trip to a lake in Colorado he bad in contemplation. "Are there any trout out there?” asked one friend. “Thousands of ’em,’ replied Mr. Wharry. “Will they bite easily?” asked another friend. “WUI they?” raid Mr. Wharry. "Why they’re absolutely vicious. A man has to hide behind a tree to bait a hook.”

BROKE IN HALF.

Bystander—That’s something of a novelty in the way of an automobile. Seems to be made in two separate parts. The Copper—it ain’t made that way. The guy that owns It Just ran Into a trolley car.

At It Might Have Been.

King Richard had been sorely tried— Richmond gave him many a pain; Then he got mad and loudly cried: “My kingdom for an ueroplanel"

What He Required.

“Why don’t you go to work?" asked the kind lady. "I would, ma’am,” replied the husky hobo, “es I had de material and de tools.” “What tools and material do you require?” queried the k. 1. “A knife an’ fork an’ some food" answered the h. h.

Too Small for Use.

“Man.” remarked the student of unnatural history, "is the only animal that uses a handkerchief.” “Then,” rejoined the thoughtful thinker, “it Is just as I suspected.” ‘‘How is that?” queried the student. “A woman’s handkerchiefs are only for Bhow,” answered the t t

As Amended.

"The man who trusts another educates him,” remarked tbo generator of near-philosophy. "You have said it,” rejoiued the student of human nature. “And the more trusting ho does the more he will add to his own stock of knowledge,"

Stabbed.

“I never leave my mirror until I am perfectly satisfied with my appearance.’ “You’re easily satisfied, or you’d never leave It.”

SHE HAD EATEN SOME ONCE.

Prospective Employer—Can you cook on the chafing dish? Cook—No, ma'am. Prospective Employer—Then IH give you a dollar more a week,

Still in the Running.

? r t« at , CToaaed the Rubicon. A rived small, though wet; S£ a lH Ca n I no T te dead *»« tone— But the Rubicon a there yet.

Made a Difference.

Little Willie—What la logic, pa? Pa—Logic, my *on. la your line of argument in a controversy. Little Willie—And what is aophlatry ? Pa—The other fellow's.

Dainty Embroidery

A DAINTY hit of embroidery to pick up at odd moments Is a : little white apron for sewing, chafing dish, or afternoon tea wear. These are not meant for real utility, these wisps of lace and muslin —they are merely delightfully feminine little creations which women like to don, especially when they stir things up with a spoon In the popular chafing dish. Then, too, they do protect the gown a little, especially a light summery one. The apron must above all else be the last word in fineness and exquisite daintiness—even though very simple the materials must be fine. Hand embroidered aprons are the prettiest models in the whole apron family, and any girl or woman who knows how to embroider should lose no time in adding one of these attractive trifles to her summer outfit, or make one or two for the coming winter. ' The apron sketched is a becoming shape, and easily made. The three panels are joined by strips of lace and edged with a frill of Valenciennes. The belt is of fine lace beading through which a blue or pink satin ribbon Is run, which forms the strings to tie the apron.

DAINTY IDEA IN LINGERIE

Combination Garment of Corset Cover and Drawers Both Useful and Practical. Among the bargains in lingerie to be found in the shops Just now is a combination garment of corset cover and drawers that is both dainty and practical. The material is a soft nainsook, sheer but firm, neatly fashioned, with neck and sleeves edged with scalloped embroidery and The drawers finished with a ruffle, of scalloped embroidery. A pretty waist of dressy description, though by no means elaborate, is of cable net, black, made over a foundation of Japanese silk. Tucks of the net alternating with bands of black silk trim the waist lengthwise. Tucks, headed by the silk bands, run around the arms and the long, close-fitting cuffs are trimmed prettily with the cilk. Ah accordion pleated ruffle (graduated) finishes the front. This is an especially good model for an elderly woman, and one that will be serviceable for many occasions.

LANCIES of FASHION

Scrim is a summer curtains. The black satin coat of all lengths is favored. About nine ■ out of ten handsome gowns are collarless. Black frills are In demand for black gowns or waists. Among the new veilings are those with crepellke borders. Dyed linen laces are high style for linen and cotton dresses. Sometimes the Dutch neck Is outlined with tiny rosebudß of chiffon. Foulards are much worn as shirtwaists, matching In color the cloth suit. Eyelet embroidery Is a favorite In the handsomest lingerie gowns this season. , Chiffon, voiles, marquisettes and silk crepes are having a wonderful rsg®._ Tiny little rooster heads are used as trimming for small girls’ everyday hats. The yoke and collar matching the color of the material are not often seen now. There Is a much more noticeable bag it the waistline of the gowns tills summer. y

The material may be fine handker chief-linen, muslin or batiste, as on« fancies. To transfer the design lay the paper on a board or table with the design side up, place the fabric over it, and pin firmly in each corner. The design will show through the material; with a sharp lead pencil trace over every line, which wiU leave a neat, clear tracing of the design on the fabric. Embroider in -French embroidery for the dots and flowers and a wee Kensington outline stitch for the bowknot. The thread should be the finest mercerized cotton.

THE ALWAYS USEFUL SERGE

Here Is Model for Dress That WIU Make Up Admirably in That Material. t A serge dress, as well as being smart and wearing well, is always useful. The princess part of our model Is taken to just pass the hips, where the plaited skirt is joined to it under a hem. Straps with pointed ends are

taken across the shoulder and brought through openings which are cut each side front and buttonholed or bound. The material over-sleeves are quite plain; the nnder-eleeves and yoke are of lace. . s Hat with velvet brim, edged with Btr *w; It haa a chiffon crown la trimmed with roses and an aigrette. Materials required: Six yards *erge 48 inches wide, 1% yards lace.

Upon all handsome or dressy gowns, *ash, girdle, belt or bow effects of rib bon appear.

Odd News From Big Cities

Stories of Strange Happenings in the Metropolitan Towns

Many Baltimore Women Start Smoking

BALTIMORE, Md.—That there is a large and ever-increasing number of women smokers in Baltimore was the opinion expressed by several prominent physicians and women themselves. Moßt of the physicians were unhesitating in their disapproval of the habit Dr. William H. Pearce said: “I consider it bad for anyone to smoke, but it is worse for women than for men. It lowers the moral tone eventually and. has absolutely nothing to recommend It in any way." When asked if many of his women patients were smokers he declared that he did not know. “It’fc not the kind of habit to demand treatment,” he said, “and as a matter of fact I know positively of only two of my women patients who make, a practise of smoking.” The greater number of women smokers in Baltimore are to be found among the “fashionables”—the society set, and with them the cigarette habit is said to be general. At some entertainments given only for women the entire party will take cigarettes as naturally as their husbands and brothers would do. They have their own cigarette cases and match boxes, and their own favorite brands, and, while not flaunting the habit in the faces of a conservative public,' “make- no

’Tis the Kellys Who Are Proud Now

CHICAGO. —Several hundred Chicago Kellys have received letters recently informing them that they are descendants of ancient Irish kings, and for the modest sum of one dollar they will be sent the famous Kelly coat of arms. The letters are pent out by a Philadelphia concern that makes a business of looking up “family trees,” and the Kellys all over the United States are receiving the glad news. The “discovery” that Kelly was once a king of Ireland was made by a representative of the Philadelphia concern “after years of research In the libraries of Dublin, Cork and Belfast.” The ancestral coat of arms is something that every Kelly should have—according to the letter—and as there are only a few thousand left, It behooves Kelly to remit his one dollar withoqt delay. The letter in part is as follows: Mr. Kelly—Dear Sir: We have Just received from our agent in Dublin a rare old engraving of the coat of arms

Chicagoan to Start an Electric Farm

Chicago. —The shades of Ben Franklin and the near shades of Thomas Edison are about to fall upon the fertile fields of Lake county. Thanks to the enterprise of Samuel Insull, who has several considerable vegetable patches In the county adjoining Cook, the garden fields are to have an electric treatment. When not working on his turnip patch, Mr. Insull Is president of the Commonwealth Edison company. He has also much'to do with Lake county electrical enterprises. They have electricity to burn. This may have something to do with the experiment in gardening which the Insull friends, and they are legion, declare he is about to perpetrate on a county whose

Throws Vinegar in a Burglar’s Eyes

NEW YORK.—Mrs. Nathan Jasper, wife of a contractor, saved her husband from possible death at the bands of a burglar recently by throwing a cup of vinegar into the burglar's eyes and blinding him. The man went to Jasper and told him he was starving. His appearance bore out his story. Jasper gave him money for food, and told him he would put him to work. When the Jaspers were getting ready for bed they found the man In a closet of their apart-

bones” of the matter and readily admit that they smoke. Another set about town among whom smoking Is indulged in freely includes the artistic and musical coteries. Among them there is always a more or less foreign element and Continental ideas generally find favor. Several well-known women physicians were asked about their observations on the subject and, with one accord, they replied that the habit was general among society women only. “It fs a conspicuous fact,” said one, “that few women students of colleges or universities smoke. I have neveij known of a woman teacher who did.”! Another woman physician said she did not consider it had ever been com clusively proved that smoking in mod-* eration was harmful, but that she thought both men and women were none the better for it. A well-known suffragist was asked whether a desire to vote on a woman’s part went with the habit of cigarette smoking. She was Indignant apd declared “very few Baltimore suffragists Bmoke, and, anyhow, those who do did it before they became suffragists.” Among clubwomen it Is almost unknown, and in explanation of this they say they have too much to do and think about, and it is only idle women who learn to smoke. A well-known physician living on Charles street said that while smoking might not hurt the woman, he considered it a horrid habit and no woman was “kissable” who smoked. He was certain that he would not permit any of his family to Indulge in it for a minute. <

of the Kelly family. We are now producing this for framing and printing a pamphlet, describing it and giving the lineal descent of the first Kelly from. Heremon, first king of Ireland, and through a long line of Irish monarchal Only enough will be printed to fill advance orders. The price is only one dollar. Send cash with order.” Have you noticed Kelly since he got the word from Philadelphia? He holds his head higher than usual and he will hardly bow to the Gradys and the Reillyß. “What’s come over Kelly?” is ths question his neighbors are asking. When a Kelly meets a Kelly they, shake hands cordially and the conversation is about their ancestral coat of arms. ' "I always knew that Kelly was onb of the best names In Ireland,”’ said Edward T. Kelly, president of the E. T. Kelly company, publishers, “but 1 didn’t know we were descendants ofi kings until I got the letter from si ‘family tree’ concern the other day. More than fifty men of my name have spoken to mo about it, as they also received letters on the subject. “There is only one way to spell thw name, and that is K-e-double »-jr. Those who slip in the extra E between L and Y are not the real Kellys, tlw descendants of Irish royalty.”

farmers have always been respectably conservative. You see, to the president of an electric company the light* ing juice is cheaper than fertilizer. Think what it means ta Chicago diners If the Insull plan bears fruit,; Bill of fares will feature electric rads ishes, incandescent onions, which may] be odorless; pies from 10,000 candle power pumpkins; kilo-watt potatoes and alternating current cabbages. In the wake of this eating may corns electrical sprees. The somber citizen after dining on an electrified potato salad may glow like a lightning bug and warble a few bars of “I Wonder Who’s Kissing Her Now.” Each green pea may contain an electric shock and the result of eating a single portion may be shocking. If this comes to pass just blame Mr. Insull. There are three kinds of farming, as you probably don’t know, unless you have had a fling at It The first grade is the common or garden variety as practised by our forbears. Then there is the up-to-date, rotation-ln-cropa, ap-plied-chemistry brand.

ment, unconscious. The closet had a spring lock on the outside and the man had been shut in. He was almost suffocated. Mrs. Jasper got some vinegar, which her husband used as & restorative, and succeeded in bringing the man to his senses. As soon as the man became conscious he attacked Jasper. The contractor was no match for him, and was being choked Into unconsciousness when Mrs. Jasper hurled vinegar into the man’s face. Howling'' with pain, he treed Jasper. Mrs. Jasper sprang at him, and she and hett husband managed to hold him until * policeman came and took him to Jail. Jasper Bays the man he had be* friended was a former employe whom! he had discharged on account of hla habits. He says the man stole bin jewelry before hiding In the closet *'-' - - I