Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 183, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 August 1910 — Good Jokes [ARTICLE]

Good Jokes

TOUGH JOB. The old major had been on an expended trip “up nott.’* Now he was back in th general store of the village telling of his travels. And Niagara Falls, suh!” he began vividly. “What could be a grander sight? To think of the vast, inconceivable power In those millions of tons of - water that dash over the rocks ! .Ynd then to think that-those falls are harnessed by mere man!” The major paused for breath and I the old colored man, who had Just come in with a pail of eggs, looked [interested. 1 “Majab!” “Yeas, Sam?” "Who was de gen’man det harnessed dem deh falls?” , Why—er—Sam, I can’t Just remember his name. But why are you so anxious to know?” “Ah was Just thinkin’ majah.” “Thinking of what, old man?” Thinkin’ what Ah’d give to see det gen’man try en harness dat ol\ ol’ mule Ah bought f’um de bankrupt circus last spring. Tee-hee!” His Views on Suffrage. When the female canvasser asked the old farmer to sign a petition in faior of a woman’s movement he eyed the document for a while with suspicion. “No, I’m again’ it," was reply,- with the emphasis of a man who had had some domestic Infelicity. “A woman who’s alius a-movin’ is alius a-gettin’ in trouble. If you’ve got anything to keep her quiet I’ll sign it”

• No Kick There, The new arrival had just written his name and address in the hotel register. ‘‘From Ypsilanti, eh?” said the clerk; that’s thq town, isn’t it, where Np, sir,” interrupted the other, •with a frown; ”&e’re perfectly satisfied with the name of our city. You’re thinking of Oshkosh." disposing of Hash. Yeast I see that all the food served to a guest at a Japanese dinner and not consumed by him at the time is taken to his home by the servants of his host. Crimsonbeak—The hosts over there are certainly persistent. They seem to get rid of their hash in some way!—Yonkers Statesman.

YOU never can tell. Oh, the primmest little maid. Just the most precise of misses; Never thought of love, she said. Took no sort ot stock In kisses. Quite Immune to Cupid’s darts, _Laughed at hosts of suitors sighing. When they told of aching hearts All such symptoms still decrying. But all this was long ago— Well, I should say, 'twas last'summer. You read the account, I know. In the papers—’twas a hummer. How she managed to elope . With a curly-headed actor. In this stunt of hers, I hope. Common sense was not a factor.