Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 163, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 11 July 1910 — HE HIT THE BALL. [ARTICLE]

HE HIT THE BALL.

It hurts * grafter’s conscience to be found out All the world loves a lover —up to about 10:30 or 11 p. m. The price of shingles is going up, thus adding to the cost of raising a family of boys. According to the general consensus of opinion, King George has undertaken a man's job. No doubt there are persons who can write poetry, but don’t do IL And others who can’t are willing to risk their necks trying. To judge from the way aviators have been falling from the sky lately there is at least one product of the day which is coming down. • - The Czarevitch at the age of 6 ran away from home the other day, with an idea of going to sea. Some kids don’t know when they are well oft There should be no controversy at present over King Edward's last words. Later they can be fixed up to the satisfaction of all concerned. A 6-year-old girl in Brooklyn has two heads. It must be something of a strain on her lungs when she gets into an animated conversation with her-, self. It has been figured that a cow can be kept in Boston at a profit of $2.80 k year. While the profit is not large, the pleasant associations ought to be worth something.

Notwithstanding the fact that young lady ticket sellers have been Installed In the box office of one of the Chicago theaters, the demand for passes will be as brisk as ever. New York City continues to go up tn the afr. The plan for a new thirty-elght-story building means a notable addition to the finest collection of skyscrapers in the world. In China all the boys born during lhe year have their birthday celebrated on the same day, no matter what date their real birthday is. Idea is worthy of local attention, now economy is all the rage. In buying an automobile it is better to select one of a kind that can be obtained without mortgaging anything as a preliminary, being careful, at the same time, to see that enough money in bank to pay for a year’s repairing. "Fret not thy gizzard!” is the motto that Dr. D. K. Pearson, Chicago’s millionaire philanthropist, gives to the ■world, at the age of ninety. It’s a comparatively easy motto to live up to, when you are a retired multimillionaire, but it’s harder when you don't know where the money is coming from to pay the rent. The dragon-fly, which used to be known as “the devil’s darning-needle,” and was credited in country lore with the habit of sewing together the lips of •mall boys, is known to be the greatest enemy of the malarial mosquito. Instead, therefore, of deserving death at the hands of those who haunt the banks and shores of summer brooks and ponds, it deserves protection. Considerable uneasiness has been manifested by medical men over the spread of the bubonic plague eastward from San Francisco, where it started tn this country. As is now well known, the commonest means by which the disease is carried is the fleas which infest rats. A vigorous warfare has been waged upon the rats by the health authorities, but it was not begun early enough. From the rats the disease has passed to the ground-squirrels common in California, and has thus gone from city to country. The cost of stamping it out will now the great, and will demand the most energetic and unremitting efforts.

There Is a singular fascination about the “bargain.” The habit of hunting It not Infrequently becomes an obsession, an actual disease. Women are no doubt the greatest sufferers, but neither sex and no age whatever is immune. To get “something for nothing,” or at least, for as near nothing as possible, Is the ambition of millions of otherwise sane and honest Americans. Let any department store phrase its advertisements with sufficient skill—dangle the right sort of bait under its customers' noses—and the police have to be called in to keep order. There is plenty of trade to be had by the man who will sell things cheaply—if only he does not admit that the goods are eheap. No one need be surprised that bargain purchases rarely give satisfaction. One who buys for' no other reason than a low price cannot complain if he is pheated. The old maxim of Roman law, “Caveat emptor’’—Let the buyer beware —still holds good. Use common sense and do not believe in Impossibilities. It occasionally happens that circumstances make it possible for trustworthy goods to be sold somewhat below the usual price. If one has taken the pains to learn how to tell genuine worsted or silk or linen from the inferior article, he can times find that elusive thing, a real bargain. Otherwise he had better not try All-wool clothes are certainly not

sold for less than the cost of an .equal weight of scoured wool. All-silk, dresses cannot be bought for less than mercerized cotton is worth. "All linen" which costs less than half the standard price Is sure to be a fraud. If every one would remember these self-evident truths on bar; in day, there would not be so much complaint about the adulteration of fabrics.

Science Is merely "organized common sense,” in Huxley's words, and, therefore, what this experience of life teaches the average man Is pretty apt to be formulated as a scientific "law” by some savant. It has been a truism for ages that to marry is to "settle down,” to become steady and "responsible." Now Dr. Bertlllon, on the basis of very elaborate^ French statistics and studies, has pronyjlgated certain "theories” concerning the Ration between marriage, family life and criminality. There is nothing strange or new in these theories, but they are Interesting simply because they are now demonstrable by facts and figures. Crime, Dr. Bertlllon shows. Is not as “rife” among married men as among bachelors: the bringing up of a family imposes “beneficent burdens” and creates a desire for respectability and an honored name. Widowers revert to the criminality records of wild bachelors— Including "Apaches.” Childless widowers are the worst offenders of all; they stand highest on the criminality lists. This shows the value of woman’s control or companionship. The presence of children Is wholesome and deterrent, but the best moral condition of all Is complete family life, with- a wife and mother to guide the household and Inspire—or curb—“the old man." Women, whether married or single, are much less addicted to crime than men, and, when they are, "men are usually the cause.” There Is thus need of a new formula: "Search for the man.” After the age of 40 criminality rapidly decreases; old ruffians are rare; conservatism, timidity and prudence accompany age and experience. But, alas! universal education Is no preventive of crime In youth or early life. To open schools Is not to close prisons, for education only sharpens Intellects bent on mischief. All of which scientific generalizations, we repeat, have long been household possessions of "common sense.” It is only doctrinaire scientists, half-baked theorists, that have questioned them.

Genuine Rube and What Lajoie Saw Him Do. "Down at Woonsocket one day, before my name had been in the papers more than half a dozen times,” says Lajole, "a big, broad-shouldered, ath-letic-appearing man came out to the ball park and asked to be allowed to Play. “He was so big and powerful we decided to give him a chance. He knew nothing at all about the game, but he did quite well in practice. He got in front of everything batted in his direction, and once his hands clasped tjie ball it was a case of Maggie, lock the door. “When he came to bat the opposing pitcher shot the ball straight across the plate. “ ’One strike!’ yelled the umpire. “ 'Why is it one striker asked the man. ” 'Because I said so. Look out! There comes another. “The big man let it go by. " ‘Here, explain this thing to me,’ the fellow said. Why do you say two strikes when I haven’t struck at the ball at all?’ "Before the umpire could reply up came another —a straight one — high. Mr. Amateur let go with all his might, ani away went the ball—faster and faster, higher and higher, as It sailed away. Just as the ball was passing over the fence I looked toward the plate, and there that numbskull w’as standing stock still, a look of abject alarm on his face. " ’Run!’ I shouted, with all my might, for we needed the tally. ‘Run! Don’t you see the ball has gone over the fence?’ ‘“Run?’ he .howled back. *Not on your life. I’ve done nothing to run for. I didn’t mean to lose the ball, but I’ve got the money to pay for it How much is the damage?’’’—Washington Star.