Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 160, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 7 July 1910 — A JOKE ON THE LANDLADY. [ARTICLE]

A JOKE ON THE LANDLADY.

Unpardonable Crim* of the Vetera., - .Boarder In Hie Vapth, “I nfcver had but one row in a boarding house,” said the veteran boarder, “and that I brought on inyself. ‘ln this house we certainly did have tough steak. Where they got it 1 never knew, i used to think they bought the sole leather remnants from a trunk factory about flour blocks from our house and cooked them for steak.

“Be that as it may, the steak wat tough and one night I conceived what I then thought was a felicitous fancy, “You have seen those knives with a cutting edge on one side and saw teeth on the other? They sell ’em to housewives for cutting off slices of ham, the knife to cut with and the saw to saw the bone. Well In my youthful foolishness I bought one of those saw knives and took it home, and the next night we had steak foi dinner I took it down and laid it beside my plate on the table. Well, it made a sensation.

“When my piece of steak came in 1 tried it first with the knife side of my saw knife, but there was nothing doing, and then I turned the knife over and tried the saw side and I sawed and sawed and sawed away, bending down over the plate and bearing on and sawing hard with all hands sitting around my table stopping eating and looking on, and'

"We were all having lots of fun, and then without any warning the landlady came In. She came in and rtood alongside of me, all without my knowing, with me keeping right on sawing, and then she touched me on the shoulder and I looked up, with the whole dining room now looking on, and then she stood there and looked down at me, just looked at me, that W’us all, but the look she gave me was enough. I put down the saw. “I hoped it would end there —I had put away the saw knife for good—but it didn’t. It was on a Thursday that 1 performed my great feat for the amusement of my table, and on Saturday when I paid my Doard for the week the landlady coldly informed me that my room had been rented to a boarder who would take possession of it next morning, Sunday, and that day I had to spend looking for another boardingi place, which was not at all funny.

“It Is difficult to find anything perfect all the way through. Tough as the steak undoubtedly was my room had always been kept in the pink of order and I certainly did hate to leave it. But .for such a crime as mine there could be no suspension oi sentence, for as every boarder should know there is one thing that no landlady will stand for, she will not stand making fun of her table.” —New York Sun.