Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 146, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 June 1910 — A Treat Ahead. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

A Treat Ahead.

Tamper and a piatol maka a bad •omMnatlon. To become a successful loafer a man must possess a lot of natural ability. Why will people continue to build their homes on the sides of volcanoes? Trying to tell a new fish story is a thorough test of an average man's originality. One of the best things about the Joy ride Is that it so often turns out to be Its own punishment. The Department of Agriculture reiterates the charge that the housefly carries more germs than a whisker in a culture tube. A Connecticut woman died of Joy, caused by receiving a large sura in cash. It Is not, however, a complaint which la catching. The gallantry of the men of this country is emphasized by the fact that women are permitted to wear big hats even at baseball games. Owing to the fact that there had not been a war In Central America for several weeks the earthquake got busy and Bhook the people up a bit down there. The rush to the vicinity of Mount Etna no doubt will suggest to the average summer-resort proprietor the advantage of having a practical volcano near his hotel. Compelling a Congressman to eat his speeches is cruel and inhuman and besides it spoils a lot of paper stock Which eventually might have a useful and honorable career. Actors and actresses who are fortunate enough to be identified with plays that are decent and at the same time entertaining should not neglect to get down on their knees every night and give thanks.

A Harvard professor of psychology Is conducting experiments to see what advertisements make the strongest appeal. Those containing reference to 49 and 99 cents are sure to get honorable mention. The new Queen of England is taller than the king, but friends of the couple do not believe this has had anything to do with the fact that the king has made the queen’s brothers royal highnesses Instead of serene highnesses. It seems from the stories about King George that an heir apparent has about as much chance to show his paces as a Vice President. Somebody ought to open a correspondence school of instruction for both of these classes of functionaries, so ihat they may not corns to their duties totally unprepared. The cost of living might be less if you would throw out your telephones, qiut using gas and electric lights, go back to coal oil, cut off your magaKines and newspapers, wear cheaper clothes, never go to any place of amusement, entertain no company, and live on bread and molasses —if you care to live that way. It appears Andrew Carnegie woke up one morning recently and found that he was $3,000,000 richer than he had supposed himself to be. It must worry men who are as rich as Carnegie to think how easily they might be robbed of a million or two here or there in such a sly way that they would never miss It. White is henceforth to be the distinguishing color of rural-delivery mail-boxes in all parts of the United States. The Post Office Department has sent ont a request to this effect to the millions who are served by the rural routes. Not only will the color Identify the boxes and posts and promote a desirable uniformity, but the paint will.protect them from damage hy the weather.

Somebody is always trying to fool somebody else. A dime museum proprietor in Boson lately organized a ▼ary complicated hoax, in which a “meteorite," previously heated and skillfully “planted,” was discovered with much circumstance, and placed on public exhibition. Unluckily for him, the museum man did not really know much about meteorites, and picked out a sort of rock that does not tall from the sky. Suspicion was followed by investigation and exposure; sad the "Norwood meteor" has gone to join the once more famous ‘ Cardiff giant.” English non-conformists are pushing their plan for a federal union of the independent churches; to be known as the United Free Church of England. It is proposed that in every Tillage where there are two or three ■on-conformist churches struggling to liTe, they shall all be united into ono strong church, fn one village it may toe a Baptist church which will be the center of union, and all the members of the other churches will become Baptists. This is easier in England than 4n America, aa neither close communion nor Immersion is insisted on by tb« English Baptists. In another community the new church might be Hothodlst, and in a third Presbyter-

lan. and on. The rasult would not decrease the numerical strength ot any denomination, in the view of lta advocates, but would produce an economy of effort and of money. It remains to be seen whether the denominational barriers can bs so easily removed as to make the proposed fsdsratlon successful. Amid the sounds of mourning at London has been heard a note of apprehension concerning the new king and his probable attitude towards the question* which have vexed the nation for so many months. The late king’s diplomacy and open mindedness were greatly relied on to steer the ship of state out of the dangerous whirlpool which involved the constitutional‘question of the lords. His son is said to be of more obstinate character than the father, resembling in this his old predecessors whose name he bears; but so little is known of George V.’s attributes that this assertion may be based upon nothing better than the name he has chosen. Should it be true that one of the old Hanoverian obstinacy and wrongheadedness has come to England's throne It would, indeed, be a serious thing for the country. The Georges, and William IV. as well, tried England sorely for more than a century, and it was not till the crown descended to Victorla that the menace of the dynasty passed from the realm. Ignorance, gluttony, infidelity, indifference, and obstinacy marked the successive reigns of the four previous Georges, and William's was little better in most respects. That the English nation, In spite of its rulers, in spite of internal turmoil and foreign wars, became on land and sea, in commerce, in culture, and In morals the superior to many of its rivals is the highest compliment to the sterling qualities which animate Its people. It is a grave situation which faces the new ruler and his subjects, but the good wishes of the world go out to both with the hope that he has learned from the teaching and example of his father that moderation, that consideration for all parties which formed so striking an attribute of his kingship.

Look heah, boy, Ah wants to tell you You sho’ got some Joy ahead; Summah gwlne to breng us melon, Black seeds peepin’ out de red. Watahmelon’s what Ah ’fers to, Dat’s right—go on-—hoi’ yo breaf, Dey ain’t nothin’ half so 'licious; Tickles coons 'mbs’ nigh to deaf. Vines Is growin’ mighty rapid. An’ de blossoms is ’bout due. When dey fades dar comes de melons, Sproutin’ dar fo’ me an’ you. Biggah, biggah dey'ill keep gittin’, You an’ me a-waitin’, boy; Pretty soon we up an’ grab one, Den wa tas’ some real true Joy. White folks nevah ’predates ’em Lak de nlggahs, you kin bet. But de black man got to have 'em Evhry summah, else he’ll fret. Look heah, boy, de surpmah’s cornin’, Gwine to be heah aftah while, Brengin’ 'long dat watahmelon; Dat’s right, niggah—go on —smilel —Exchange.