Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 127, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 May 1910 — GOOD SHORT STORIES [ARTICLE]

GOOD SHORT STORIES

An old man In a poorhouse who was «aked by a visitor If he had any source ■tof Income replied, '‘Madam, If you Smust know, I haven’t got any money, tout I’ve got good backing. I’m backed toy one of the richest counties in the State.”

The census enumerator Vicks confronted at the door by a meek and apologetic little man. “Who’s the head of the house?” asked the census man. ‘‘From a strictly legal standpoint,” rejplled_ the Little man, “I suppose I am, tout when you get right down to brass tacks I ain’t."

\ A Northerner Bitting on the veranda •of a Southern home was enraptured toy the beauty of the night. “How wonderfully beautiful is the moonlight falling on the water,” he exclaimed. “It is indeed,” replied his dignified but unreconstructed Southern hostess, “but ®h! you should have seen it before the war.”

A little girl who had a live bantam presented to her was disappointed at the smallness of the first egg laid by ithe bird. Her ideal egg was that of ■the ostrich, a specimen of which was on the table in the drawing-room. One -day the ostrich’s egg was missing from its accustomed place. It was subsequently found near the Bpot where the toantam nested, and on It was stuck a piece of paper with the words: “Something like this, please. Keep on trying.”

The newly elected mayor was about to make his first journey through the town in his official capacity. The peo®le had arranged that from an arch of flowers under which he was to pass a floral crown should hang, surmounted with the words, “He Well Deserves It.” But the wind blew away the crown, and when the pompous mayor passed under the arch only a rope with a ■noose at the end of it dangled there, with “He Well Deserves It” standing out in bold relief above it. Some years ago the captain of one of his majesty’s ships, while In quarantine at Auckland, New Zealand, owing to one slight case of fever, received some valuable carrier pigeons. He gave his colored servant strict orders to take great c&re of them. A few days afterward the captain, wishing to make use of the birds, inquired of his servant if he had taken care of them. “Oh, yes,” replied he; “me hab taken berry great care of dem. Dey no fly away, ’cause I hab clipped dere wings!”

With the purpose of developing any latept literary ability which might exist among the boys of her class a Sunday Bchool teacher offered a prize for the best short love story. This is one of the results: “A poor man fell in love with a lady whose mother was a rich toy dealer. The poor man could not marry the rich lady because he had no money. A villain then offered him ?50 if he would become a drunkard. The poor man wanted the money to get married with, so he agreed; but when he got to the beer saloon he Bald, ‘No, I will not become a drunkard, even for great riches.’ On the way home he found a bag of gold. So the young lady married him. It was a splendid wedding and the next day they had twins. Moral: Virtue is its own reward.”