Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 111, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 May 1910 — Page 1 Advertisements Column 2 [ADVERTISEMENT]

TONIGHT’S PROGRAM —♦ — PICTURES.. Three Queens and a Jack. Fate Against Him.' * •*» ... SONG. ' That Lovin’ Two-Step yan. ♦-

For this week only, 4 cans of peas, hominy, sour kraut, wax or string beans or pumpkin for 25c and if these goods are not equal in quality to what others charge 10c or 3 for 25c, we cheerfully refund your money. JOHN EGER. W. H. Beam and daughter Madge and son Don and Abel Grant left Monday for a trip to the northwest. They will stop first at Spokane, Wash., where Mr. Grant’s son Hale, is now living. Mr. Beam and children will go on to Eugene, Oreg., to visit his daughter, Mrs. Trevor Wilcoa, and the family of George Wilcox. All will be absent a month or more. Both Mr. Beam, as railroad agent, and Mr. Grant, as drayman, were quite exhausted and they are taking the trip for their health. Mayor Geo. F. Meyers yesterday subscribed $25 for the Milroy Soldiers’ monument. Jesse M. Coen, who- is -employed by A. McClurg & Co., Chicago, sent $5 for the monument fund this morning, writing as follows: “It is with pleasure I have a small part in this worthy enterprise. In these days when we are so prone to be unmindful of the services rendered by the citizens and soldiers of bygone days, such an opportunity and reminder is good for ps as well as a fitting tribute to those we help to commemorate. I have no doubt that all who can will be glad to be included in the list of contributors to your fund.” / We have discovered the source of humor of dur ’big, good natured, polished and brilliant friend, Orie b’dunghill, o£ the Brook Judge-Punch of comedy. It would be impossible for a man in his normal state to be so eternally and completely humorous as Orie is, and being interested in anatomy and science we considered it our duty to try find out what there was about Orie that gave him this advantage over his fellowmen. And we found it, by gum, we found it. We don’t like to lose out when we start out to aid science in any important discovery and wtf thought the world should know what was the source of the well of humor possessed by Orie. Here is the reason. Deductions of the most commonplace kind proved beyond a'doubt that the mole on Orie’s nose from which protrude two black hairs are the cause of his mental gymnastics. The hairs tickle his nasal organ, his brain is in his nose and the result is that he thinks of the funniest things imaginable and having an eye to -business he jots the jokes on paper as\ fast as they are produced during the hours when the mole hairs are in motion. Shear him of the hairs and he clouds up like a rainy day, his humor flees him and until the hair grows out again and resumes its tickling, Orie’s paper is real dull and commonplace. A mole is regarded as a misfortune on most noses, but not so with Orie’s. It is the only ornamental thing beneath his hat and if he were to consult a dermatologist with a view to facial beautification, it is probable that the beauty surgeon would advise that fie have the face removed and leave the wart, thus might he have his humor-While preserving his beauty. It is so nice that a subject like Orie B. is put into our pathway occasionally to dissect for the benefit °f science. * ’ Our Classified Column (does the work