Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 93, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 April 1910 — Page 3

AS TO THE KIND 07 A WI7E. PREACHER by the name of Coburn, holdforth In a Presbyterian church In Pittsburg, seems to be fathering a dangerous a doctrine when he says that “any kind of a wife for a young man Is better than none.” Thoughtful people would think twice before subscribing tp It. Any kind of a wife is no kind of a wife if she Is not a proper help-meet. It Is the haste with which a great many young men go about getting “any .kind of a wife” that leads so many of them into the divorce \court. Sttil the worthy man of cloth was not very far wrong on some other things he said of matrimony. Here is a partial report of his reply to the excuse of a young man that he could not afford to marry: No, you cannot afford a wife, but you can go to the theater and club.- You are too selfish to make any woman happy, and no good woman can afford to be betrothed to you. The bachelors are not saving money, but a good wife pays her own way and they are the best banks and the best police force, for no handcuffs can hold a young man like apron strings. Any kind of a wife is better than none, and a scarcity of weddings Is one of the most dangerous signs of the times. Today 1,000,000 young women are Ailing clerical positions at low salaries, which were filled by men thirty years ago. Every young man ought to be compelled by law to get married or pay to the State annually what It would cost to keep a wife. Annual forfeiture of the.cost of keeping a wife may be all right, but how woiild the amount be fixed? The parson's idea might be amended, with advantage in many cases, by making the tax or forfeiture a sum equivalent to the annual cost of the bachelor's drinkß and cigars.—Sacramento Bee. THE CENSUS AND THE WITNESS. HAT percentage of the census statistics will Wfce valueless because of the great American proneness to boast? We wish some one ■> would figure this out and give us d formuTfStfVZ in which, when appliedjto the government reports, will permit the student to arrive m at exact facts. Consider some of these questions: How old are you? It is the custom to joke about the objectlcn ot women to stating their age. If the truth were known it would probably be found that most men will subtract a few years, particularly if they, themselves, are shifting into mat period known as middle-aged. Are you single, or married? Old maids who have not ceased to struggle, as the Georgians express It, may let imagination rule

“WELL, AS I WAS SAYING.”

John took the seat behind hie friend, Mies Wilson, in the txolley ear. He wore a bored expression, and after a few casual remarks on the weather, the cause of his disgust was revealed. “When women have a thing to say,” he began, “why can’t they say it and get done? More physical and moral force is wasted in the reiteration of feminine conversation than could be used up in a long time of effectual action. Women’s conversation consists largely of circular buzz-saws with nothing to work on. My wife has a sister staying with her.” His friend saw there was something coming and listened patiently. “This morning she mislaid some letters she had Intended to give me to post. You wouldn’t think it would take long to tell about such a circumstance, now would you?” “Why, no,” said Miss Wilson. “Well, it took all breakfast time. She began when she came to the table. Said she: “ T had two letters and a postal card which I thought John would post for me on his way down town. I stamped the letters and laid them between the leaves of a magazine—there were two letters and a postal card —and I laid the book on the stairs, thinking I would give the letters and the card to John, so he might mall them on his way down town, and 1 can’t find them anywhere. I’ve hunted high and low. and I can’t imagine what has become of them. “ ‘There were two letters—all stamped —and a postal card, and I remember laying them right between the leaves of the book, and putting it on the stairs, so that it would be handy to give to John, fey I was very particular that they should go this morning, and I knew he would just as soon post them on his way down town. “‘I can't think where they have disappeared to, for I remember distinctly placing them in the.book—two letters and a postal—and saying to myself— ’ and so on. "Well, that went on and on, and round and round, without getting anywhere, and the last thing I heard as I shut the front door was, ‘Two letters all stamped, and a postal card.' Do you wonder J’m tired with that for breakfast?” Just then a masculine voice asserted itself from (he seat behind. One man was plating something to another so emphatically that there was nothing to do but listen. “Sca’t? Well, I guess I was sca’t. I never was so sca’t in my life. I ain’t usually sca’t of thunder —been lots ,of times right out in the open when it was thundering and lightning hard, and ain’t minded it at all, but this time I was sca’t most to death. “You see. our house sets something like that one out there, not very far from the next one. Well, we were all sitting out on thf / front porch in the evening and I was sitting on the step neat the walk; the others were sitting back, but I was on the lower step near the walk, see? “Well, we were sitting there, and all of a sudden there came this thunder and lightning. * “It was fierce! The lightning just filled in all that space between the

EDITORIALS

Opinions of Great Papers on Important Subjects.

houses —they’re set near together, you know—and I thought I was struck for Sure. It seemed to come right down all around me —you see I was sitting right on the step—and I thought sure I was struck. It seemed to kind of make me numb. “I never was so sca’t in my life. You see the others were further back, ‘but I was right out on the lower step, and the lightning seemed to come right down between the two houses. “Well, when I could think, I looked at my wife. She was sitting back on the porch by the door, quite a ways from me, because I was on the step, but she was white as chalk. I never see any one so white in my life before. “She was so sca’t; and I was so sca’t to see her so white—why. she didn’t have a mite of color. "Well, I tell you, I never minded thunder storms before, but that time I was sca’t. You see, I was sitting—” Here the car stopped and the two friends got out. John was gazing out of the window in an absorbed fashion. For some little time nothing was said; but Miss Wilson, being a woman, took advantage of her prerogative. “Speaking, about buzz-saws —” “Excuse me,” said John/ hurriedly, “I get out here.”—Youth’s Companion.

CZAR'S EARLY LOVE.

After Stormy Scene Infatuation for Beaattfnl Jevreaa Broken Off. A story of the Czar’s early life, which has long been known to eertain members of the Russian court, has recently been published. It Is the history of a love affair of his youth from which it is said he never really recovered and for the breaking of which he has never altogether forgiven his mother. The girl concerned in the story was of Jewish descent and the daughter of a government contractor, a New York Sun correspondent says. Her name was Rajssa Kagan. At. the age of 17 she was celebrated as a beauty and courted by some of the- highest in the land, including the Orand Duke Paul uncle of the present Czar Nicholas. The Grand Duke on one occasion tooi his nephew to one of the lady’s receptions, and no sooner did the lad* see her than he fell violently in love with her. She reciprocated the sentiment and that same evening they met by appointment in the conservatory of her father’s bouse and he declared his passion and swore he never would mairy anyone else. At about this time Marie Feodorovfia, thegliupresa, was trying to get a suitable bride for the futtfre Czar, and 7 her. choice fell upon Prln&gjs Alice o£ Hesse. The young man refused to hear of the match, saying his troth already was plighted. A stormy Interview between the Czar and his son followed, as a result of which, alarmed at the turn affairs bad taken, the lad agreed to respect his father’s wishes, his last remonstrances being silenced by the" threat that if the affair were not immediately dropped the contractor and hfa daughter wonld be sSat to Siberia in exile. , > . . . When news of what-had happened reached the young Jewess she made a desperate attempt to commit suicide, but was saved. Hearing of this, the young man hurried to her house and a heartrending scene ensued, the girl again attempting to kill herself. After another violent quarrel with the Czar,,

them if the •numerators are strangers, and there are men who will “decline to answer on the advice ot attorney.” What is your occupation? The temptation to let fancy sweep skyward will be great, indeed, to Americans. Are you employed or employer? That weakness for boasting will get the better of thousands at thla point. Do you own or rent your home? Desire may give the answer. Any mortgage? It Is unpleasant to talk shout things of. thls sort. How easy to say no, lest the next question be, how much?—Toledo Blade. CHIME IS CHIME—NOT DISEASE. BER million of population,, the number of felonious homicides In 1909 was as follows: In Canada, S; Germany, 6; England, 11; France, 13; Belgium, the most criminal country in Europe, 15; In the United States, 129. Owing to lax enforcement of law, and the mistaken policy of giving the criminal too many chances for escaping the penjgty of his crime, only one out of seventy-four murderers In the United Stat*3 is convicted. Political and personal influence and the maudlin sentiment that regards crime as disease and a murderer as a sick man to be cured, instead of a dangerous beast to be exterminated, permit the average man killer in America to escape with seven years In prison. Crime Is crime. The murderer Is a murderer. The sooner American prisons cease to be pleasant sanitariums for mental ahnormals and become institutions for punishment of criminals by hard work and rigid discipline, the better for our national reputation.—Chicago Journal. FIGHT THE HOUSE FLY. y"! HEN the common housefly begins to thrive AT >n the land it behooves every good LouseDfDr keeper to make preparations to war on m these llttle Pests. Typhoid and many gjother diseases are distributed by files, which pick up large assortments of dangerous germs In dirty places and carry them Into houses and Btores, depositing them frequently upon food, by which they are taken Into the human stomach. See that windows are properly screened. Provide a receptacle where bread, meat, milk and other foods are protected from files. See that filth does not accumulate about your premises. Interest yourself In keeping alleys and streets clean. You can thus perform .valuable service, not only for your own family, but for the community.—Chicago Journal.

Prince Nicholas finally agreed to travel for a year on the condition that during his absence no steps -should be taken in the matter of hia love affair. Scarcely had he left Russia, however, when a compact was entered Into through the management of the Empress by which the contractor agreed to marry his daughter to a certain state official of importance, and when the unhappy-Prince returned the wedding had taken place. His marriage with Princess Alice was celebrated some little time afterward.

The Glove of Welcome.

A picture in a recent publication shows the window of a public building, from which protrudes a pole bearing a stuffed glove on its end. The illustration portrays a custom of an old English town which dates from remote timjs. F. J. Snell tells about it in “Memories of Old Devonshire.” Barnstaple Fair is still an important occasion, althougn its old glory has departed. It lasts for three days, and in former times as much as twenty thousand pounds were expended in the purchase of cattle. A great stag hunt Is one of the features of the occasion. The fair opens with a quaint ceremony. The mayor of Barnstaple provides a feast in the gildhall, and mulled ale, toast and cheese are served in the old civic plate. Then a large stuffed glove is shown above the door of the gildhall, as a sign of welcome extended to all visitors. While thin glove is displayed no arrests can be made in the town. , In the old town accounts may be found such records as thlB: “1615: Paide for glove to put out at Faire—4d.” For centuries Barnstaple Fair has been famous throughout all Devon and beyond, and its glories have passed into songs and ballads. Se&rrti the towns all round, there’s nothing can compare, miss, In measurement and merriment, with Barnstaple Fair, miss. Then sing of Barum, merrytown, and Barum’s merry mayor, too, I know no place in all the world old Barum to compare to!

The Crank.

The completes crank is a kind of collector of causes, and it is difficult to discover the principle upon which he collects them. A new religion and under-clothing and some Insipid kind of diet are all the same to him, and he advocates them all with equal earnestness. He wants men to change their lives in every particular add proteats against all the ordinary usages of the world both in great and in small things. He does not believe that there is any instinctive wisdom in mankind or any value in past tradition and experience. For him wisdom has only just appeared among men. and she has revealed herself to vbry few. —London Times.

Defeating the Ends of Sport.

, Policeman —Stop thief! Arrest him? Stop him! Athletic Crank —Stop him! I guess not! Why, he’s breaking the hundredyard record into bits! —Puck When a married man is an advocate <of equal suffrage, it le better proof that he la >*«« that he loves hia wife.

Old Favorites

Kitty of Colerolue. As beautiful Kitty one morning was tripping » With a pitcher of milk from the fair of Coleraine, When she saw me she stumbled, the pitcher down tumbled, And all the sweet buttermilk watered the plain. “Oh, what shall I do now? Two* looking at you, now. Bure, sure, such a pitcher I’ll ne’er meet again. Twai the pride of my dairy! Oh, Barney O’Leary, You’re sent as a plague to the girls of Coleraine! ” I sat down beside Tier, and gently did chide her. That such a misfortune should give her such pain. A kiss then I gave her. Before I dbl leave her. She vowed for such pleasure she’d break it again! ’Twas haymaking season—l can’t tell the reason— Misfortunes will never come single—that’s plain— For, very soon after poor Kitty’s disaster, - The devil a pitcher was whole In Coleraine! —Old Song. Address to tbe Unco Gold. Then gently scan your brother man, Still gentler sister woman: Though- they may gang a kennin wrang, To step aside is huihan; One point must stlU be greatly dark, The moving why they do It; And Just as lamely can ye mark How far perhaps they rue It. Who made the heart, ’tis He alone Decidedly can try us: He knows each chord. Its various tone, , Each spring its various bias. Then at the balance let’s be mute. We never can adjust It; What’s done we partly may compute, But know not what’s resisted. —Robert Burns.

TOBACCO AND MISSIONARIES.

A Once Popular gamoriat’c Ideas on an Important Subject. I am glad to notice a strong effort on the part of the friends of humanity to encourage those who wish to quit the use of tobacco. To quit the use of this weed is one of the most agreeable methods of relaxation. I have tried it a great many times, and 1 can safely say that it has afforded me much solid felicity. • To violently reform and-cast away the weed, and at the end of a week to fimL-a good cigar unexpectedly in the quiet, unostentatious pocket of an old vest, affor4s the most intense and delirious delight. Scientists tell us that a single drop of the concentrated oil of tobacco on the tongue of an adult dog is fatal. I have no doubt about the truth or cohesive power of this statement, and for that reason I have always been opposed to the use of tobacco among dogs. Dogs should shun the concentrated oil of tobacco, especially if longevity be any object to them. Neither would I advise a man who has canine tendencies or a strain of that blood in his veins to use the concentrated oil of tobacco as a sozodont. To those who may feel that way about tobacco I would say, shun It by all means. Shun it as you would the deadly Upas tree or the still more deadly whipple-tree of the tropics: Scientists who have been unable to successfully use tobacco, and who therefore have given their whole lives and the use of their mlcroscopejs to the investigation of its horrors, say that cannibals will not eat the flesh of tobacco-using human beings. And yet we say to our missionaries: *“No man can be a Christian and use tobacco.” I say, and I say it, too, with all that depth of feeling which has always characterized my earnest nature, that in this we are committing a great error. What have the cannibals ever done for us as a people that we should avoid the use of tobacco in to fit our flesh for their tables? In What way have they sought to ameliorate our condition in life that we should strive in death to tickle their palates? Look at the history of the cannibal for past ages. Read carefully his record, and you will see that it has been but the history of a selfish race. Cast your eye back over your shoulder for a century, and what do yqu find to be the condition of the cannlbalists? A new missionary has landed a few weeks previously perhaps. A little group is gathered about on the beach beneath a tropical tree. Representative cennih&ls from adjoining islands are present. The odor of sanctity pervades the air. Tkeedhjef sfts beneath a new umbrella, looktns at the pictures in a large concordance. yA new plug hat la hanging m a tree near by. Anon the leading citizens gather about on the ground and we hear the chief ask his attorney general whether he will take some of the light ox some of the 4*ipk meat. r away in England a paper contains the following personal: Wanted—A young man to go as missionary to supply a vacancy In. one of the Cannibal Islands He must fully understand the appetites and tastes ot the cannibals, must be able to reach their Inner natures at once, and must not use tobacco. Applicants may communicate in person or by letter. Is it strknge that under these circumstances .those, who frequented the Cannibal islands during the last cen-

tury should have quietly accustomed themselves to the use of a peculiarly pernicious, vioftn* and all-pervading brand of tobacco? I think not. To me the statement that tobaccotainted human flesh is offensive to the cannibals does not come home with crushing power. Perhaps I do not love my fellowman so well as the cannibal does. I know that I am selfish in this way, and If My-cannibal brother desires to polish my wishbone ha must take me as he finds me. I cannot abstain wholly from the use of tobacco In order td gratify the pampered tastes of one who has never gone out of his way to do me a favor. *>o I ask the cannibal to break off the pernicipus use of tobacco because I dislike the flavor of It in his brisket? I will defy any respectable Resident of the Cannibal islands to-day to place his finger on a solitary instance where I have ever, by word or deed, Intimated that he should make the slightest change in his habits on my account, unless it be that 1 may have suggested that a diet consisting of more anarchists and less human beings would be more productive of general and lasting good. My own Idea would be to send a class of men to these islands so thoroughly imbued with their great object and the oil of tobacco that the great Caucasian chowder of those regions would be followed by such weeping and walling, and gnashing of teeth, and such remorse, and repentance, and gastric upheavals that it would be as unsafe to eat a missionary in the Cannibal islands as ft Is to eat ice cream in the United States to-day.—Frim Bill Nye'S Budget.

AFTER HIS MAJESTY.

Husslans Delight In Flaying Second Fiddle to the Tsar. The second place is not often coveted, but in Russia royalty ranks so high that to the loyal subject it seems great honor to follow the Czar. The government is eminently jjatrlarchal, in theory, at least, and the emperor must supervise as well as patronize the schools. At the Easter festival the pupils are treated with especial favor. Of this George Braudes, in his “Impressions of Russia,” gives such account, as he had from a pupil of high standing. Young girls of the upper classes of the Imperial Girls’ school were driven In a long procession through the Btreets In the imperial carriages. The pleasure for them was only that of being allowed to take a drive in a stylish court carriage, with coachman and footman in the Imperial livery. There was nbthing special to be seen. The theory of this is that the Czar stands in a sort of higher parental relation to all these children. When he once a year visits one of these schools —to which only the children of the nobility are admitted—it is a custom that, as a sign of his favor, he drops his pocket handkerchief and the girls all scramble for it, and it is torn in pieces, so that each one can get a fragment. He takes the most brilliant girl to the table, and tastes of the food of the institution. It is valued as the highest distinction when he gives one of the girls his plate with what is left upon it. It Is the custom and usage fox. her to eat it with delight shown In all her features. Great was the astonishment of Alexander II when a young girl, a Pole, whom the Czar had taken to the table, as being the most distinguished scholar of the Institute, and to whom he had passed what was left of his meat and potatoes, nodded to a servant and calmly gave him the Czar’s plate to take away.

Meals of Enlightenment.

The Middle West is using luncheons and dinners as a means to booming and boosting their towns, and devising fresh methods of accelerating progress, says Collier's. Des Moines was sleeping the sleep of lethargy and hopelessness three and a half years ago, when a few of her busiest business men began to get together at noon luncheons once, twice and three times a week, and talk up a thriving town. They willed that Des Moines should awake. Out of their inspirational feasts grew the Greater Dea Moines committee. The Commercial Club breathed in new life. The Dea Moines plan of commission and referendum government enabled the citizens to clean up the mess at the city hall. The life force of those banquetlngs expressed itself in various directions. To-day Des Moines has more vitality and higher momentum than it had three years ago. The luncheon and dinner habit la still maintained as the source and fount of much of the good. You go to a luncheon of a hundred or Ac persons In Des Moines—business men, lawyers, journalists and agricultural editors—and they talk you eat. While the courses are being munched thoughts on city charters, corn-growing and factory Inducement are casually spilled out by local talent.

Tied to the Track.

"Then you think that motorjnen are more cautious than chauffeurs?” “They have to be. They can’t swerve if the pedestrian lose* hie head.” Louisville Courier-Journal.

Almost.

Foreigner—But is the English language capable of expressing anything? Native-klertainly. Look at thi names on our Pullman cars!—'Puck.

A Big Shadow.

We are told that the “smallest hail throws a shadow.” And so it does. It throws a shadow over yonr appetite when you find it in your food. Don’t think that every fool idea you get into your head is an Inspiration.

FACTS IN TABLOID FORM.

London has 2,151 miles of streets and 390 miles of tramways. The harpy eagle of Brazil feeds exclusively on monkeys. Eighty-seven In every hundred Canadian fanners own their own farms. The eggs of wild birds are smaller than those of the same species of birds when domesticated. No fewer than «0,407 articles found In public carriages were last year taken to Scotland Yard, London. Of all places of Importance, Sydney, New South Wales, is farthest from London as the crow files—lo,l2o miles. St. Louis has a concrete building fifty-seven feet high, which is entirely without windows. The Illumination is by means of skylights In the roof. An Irish woman. Miss Lillian E. Bland, has designed and built for herself a biplane glider twenty-eight feet wide. Several satisfactory glides have been accomplished with the machine controlled from the ground by ropes. The engine and propellers will be" fib ted later. Use of tobacco is universal in the orient, and the word cheroot and its use come from Madras. The first cigars seen by Columbus were wrapped with corn shucks. Some Himalaya tribes take the leaf of the palassa and, with a cunning twist of the wrist, make the bowl and long, narrow stem of a pipe in the most perfect way. Miss Helen V. Carson of Bedford, la., has entered upon her second year aj superintendent of the high schools of Exlra, la. She was recommended by the Governor y of Colorado for the place and was just twenty-two when she was elected. She is said to do the work just as well as her masculine predecessor and to receive the same Balary.

It is estimated that there are 250,000 hives or colonies of bees in Switzerland, each of which produces forty pounds of honey during the season, a total of ten million pounds a year. The average price of Swiss honey for the year 1909 was 25 cents a pound, giving the year’s product a total value of 12,500,000, which is mostly profit, nature providing the raw material In an abundance of flowers. Hookha, the -bubble-bubble or Turkish water pipe, is always, being smoked by Burmese women, partly because they like It, hut mainly to supply the men with nicotine water. This hub-ble-bubble nicotine water habit is, in fact, a lazy form of tobacco chewing. A mouthful of the nasjy beverage is held in the mouth as long as possible. They carry about gourflß full of It, and claim It preserves tbelr teeth, and it may.—New York Press. In our army machine guns have been supplied from time to time, but only experimentally and not as an Intrinsic part of the army organization. The question has been studied, no doubt, by the general staff, but the definite organization and stfoply of this new arm has been postponed to make way for other more pressing considerations and also to profit by the experience of European nations before adopting any definite organization or tactics for this new but highly Important arm of the service.

Some English seem to think all meats coming in should be marked either “foreign” or “colonial” to show the buyer that be was not getting English meat. Every ’ one of the chief joints would have to be stamped, and the exporter would have to do the stamping. Further, the butcher dealing in “foreign” as well as English meat must Announce the fact on bis shop front, so that his customers may know he deals In both foreign and English meats. Some of the farmers complain that much foreign meat is passed off as English to bring down their prices. *Mob” is the only one of the abbreviated words protested against by Dean Swift which has conquered even the purists of speech. “Incog” is still short of respectability, and “phiz” (physiognomy) very far so. However, other abbreviated forms have won. A cabriolet is a “cab” to everybody now, though to Dickens’ Mr. Raddle it was still a “cabrioly.” “Mies” for “mistress,” “piano” tor "pianoforte” and “sweets” for “sweetmeats” are universal. Nevertheless, many people still apologize for "bus” instead of "omnibus” and wage a losing fight against “phone” and against "photo.” Consul Thomas H. Norton, of Chemnitz, tells of the Importance of the potato in the life of Germany. "The potato occupies a relatively more important position in Germany than In other European countries. It is not only employed largely for food for both man and beast, but also for conversion into starch and alcohol. The 1908 crop was estimated at 46,500,000 metric tons (61,256,950 short tone). 13,000,000 tons being used for human food and 19,000,000 tons for feeding .domestic ’ animals. Starch factories utiUzed 1.500,000 tons, distilleries 2,500,000 tons, while 5,600.000 tons were required tor seed." The proposed home for indigent southern women in New York has mat with such generous support on the part of northern women that the plana have been changed and widened!. Instead of building the home in Virginia, as was at Aral proposed, it has now been determined to erect It near New York and to open it to both northern and southern women. It is planned to conduct it along the lines of the Louies in. Washington, where President Tyler’s daughter spent heir fault days. The only restrictions will be that the inmates shall be of gentle birth and respectable. Mrs. Le Roy Broun is at the head of the committee -which la raising the necessary funds.