Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 92, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 18 April 1910 — Page 4 Advertisements Column 4 [ADVERTISEMENT]

BUNFLOWER PHILOSOPHY. A man who hopes a great deal will not work. An old person can claim to be young, but he can’t look it Environment is a great magazins word, and people dislike it. I A picnic is not a success unless there is a pie or two to throw away. Every man signs a lot of petitions and letters he would rather uut sign. If a man’s bluff does not work, he is liable to find himself in an awkward position. Scientists have succeeded in nearly nearly everything imaginable except getting rid of noise. This can usually be said of every boy who can play the piano well: He can’t do anytning else. What an indignity seems to be put upon a noble animal when a horse is driven by a drunken man! We always avoid the man of whom it is said, “He must have his little Joke.” We become tired of Jokes. About the only thing a bachelor and the father of a family regard from the same point of view is a baseball game. A man is never discharged because of old age as long as he does his work aB well as the average man in jthe shop. Do a creditable thing, and nobody cares much. But if there is a “joke” on you, everybody will ibe interested at once. When a woman is out riding.every time she reaches a railroad crossing, she says: “What a dangerous place for a crossing.” When it is said of an Atchison man that he is going the pace it is meant that he attends an airdome or moving picture show every night. The friends of an Atchison woman should tell her that she is being courted fdr her money. It is said that she has at least S9O in the bank.

Show us a man who is interested in what his wife is saying to him, and we can show you a woman who is repeating to her husband a compliment she heard paid him. When a woman talks to herself the neighbors say she *3 insane, but didn’t she acquire the habit in talking to her husband, who kept on reading and never answered? Occasionally a man finds his wife looking in a certain Queer Way, and asks: “What is the matter?" She looks at him a moment, bursts into tears, and says, “Nothing.” Of course, it is nobody’s business, but when a very worthless, shiftless man has his shoes shined at a shining parlor, some one is sure to say: “Well, I should think he could black his own shoes.” New wail for the reformers. It is possible to take the children so often to picnics during the summer time that it takes all winter to break them of the habit of eating with their fingers. When little brothers quarrel, it is over one getting the larger share of the eating, out whei little sisters quar•el, find out which one borrowed something from tho other to wear, without isking for it. Smith and Jones do not like each other. Smith is telling a tough story around town about Jones. Jones, commenting on the fact today, said: Nobody will believe him.” That’s where Jones is wrong.

In reading war stories, we have noticed this: There will be a perfect nail of bullets; shot and shell turn the charge, the account will state that one charge, th eaccoun will state that one man was woundeo. Literary criticism: Love stories speak of the hero “gathering” the heroine in his arms, and we object to the word. It is proper to gather off the line or to,gather gooseberries, but not to gather a woman. Husbands don't, give their wives much encouragement In piling pulls and rolls on their heads, but their children encourage them. Next to eating candy, a child knows no greater joy than to be alio,zed to handle its mother’s false hair. You are picked at a good deal, but it won’t hurt you. Christian science is getting along, altuougn we never go on the street that some one does no\. take a viccious sumsh at Christian Sci ence. Behave yourelf, and work as much as you should* and you’ll get along. Mrs. Lysander John Appleton has a bet of 935 up with her best friend. It Is that when shej goes to her husband and tells him she Is sick, and in need of urgent attention, he wiU say: "It is all your imagination.” Atchison (Kan.) Globe. Following the example set by the New York Centra. 1 on its Adirondack lines, the Maine C mtral Railroad has ning through so: <sst regions of oil burning locomotives.