Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 79, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 April 1910 — In Search of a Husband [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

In Search of a Husband

According to the family Bible, Julia Walslngham was 34, but she pleaded faflty to 26 with auch ingenuous frankMM that everybody believed her. She And been engaged many times, but •ever for longer than three months at * stretch, although Bhe had been introduced to each man’s family as the only girl a reasonably sensible person could marry. The rolling stone nature Of Julia’s •Sections at last caused her to be •leased as fickle, and friendly attentions from young men suddenly ceased. She took serious counsel with herself ■• to the quickest method of acquiring • husband. There was no time to wait tor a man to come to woo her, so she Ax eased herself In a dainty costume and went forth to battle. By a fortunate accident she ran right tflte the arms of Jack Homebird, a cynical married man whom she had Sooted long ago, when he thbught her too beautiful for this sordid earth. He was sorry for Julia now, and so grateful for his own escape that he undertook to help her to stalk a husband, although his conscience told him It was a cruel conspiracy against his fellow man. Julia cheerfully confessed that, as

ah* would soon be 27 (that is to say, <*s). It was really time tor her to sober down and be of some use to the world. The Idea of Including posterity In the purview of her altruistic intentions seemed to invest the pursuit of man with a lofty spiritual purpose. Jack Homeblrd cordially approved, and they proceeded to plan the ambuscade. It was rather a protracted business, as they differed widely on the important question of tactics. "I cannot for the life of me see why you object to dances and musical evenings,” said Julia, with a pout. “My dear girl, the men you catch that way are only fit to be let loose again out of pity.” “I never thought of that.” “Few girls do, Julia.” “Do tell me what you mean In a way I can understand." “Well, all things considered, and especially having regard to your erratic past, I strongly recommend the role •f the Ingenue tor you.’’ -Whyr “Because It deceives the most experienced bachelor, and gives a neophyte In love no chance at all.” “I don't quite like that, but tell me what I have to "do without any more flippancies.” “Listen. Ask the predestined person to lend you a book or something and tell him to bring it In the afternoon. When he comes, receive him In a pretty apron, and have your hands all over floor. ‘Say you the sure he is laughing at you, but you take a delight In domestic duties and were making cakes for tea. Tell him you would ask him to stay, but, unfortunately, everything la homemade, as you were not expecting anybody. If you bad known be was coming would have been very different He will think you naive and natural, and when a man makes that mistake his days of single blessedness are drawing to a. close.” “That sounds rather deceitful, doesn’t ltr

"Oh, heaven excuses such things In a woman.” "I shall make as good a wife as most women, I am sure.” “I should hope so.” “Don’t be so horribly smart.” _ “Now, Julia, where are we going to find the fatted —I mean the victim?” "I know the man I want already.” “Thanks. You have removed a ton of remorse from my mind.” “He is au- author—Mr;- Laurelle.” “A man like that can be lured Into the tolls without trouble. 'lt will only require a little diplomacy to make him believe that you are the woman he has been waiting for all these weary years.” “I want him to feel that,” said Julia. “No doubt; but when he is engrossed in his work you will have to show him your marriage-lines to remind him that you are his wife.” “He’s a bit fond of me, but hates flirts.” "If you can avoid that virtuous form of indiscretion he will be as plastic as clay in your accomplished hands.” * • • • • • • Julia set about the siege of the author on the lines laid down by Jack Homebird.

Mr. Laurelle was* among other things, a poet, and sought Inspiration In a public park In the evening. He was madly fond of flowers, and, like many men similarly sensitive to their beauty, he could not grow them at home, for you could not swing a cat In his garden—at least, not with any degree of comfort to the cat. Julia met him quite accidentally, of course, and asked him about his work. He gave her a voluble biography of all he had written since a child. She told him she had nothing to read worth reading, and he immediately pressed her to accept a copy of his poetic drama, “The Startled Gaxelle." He walked home/vith her, and gladly promised to come to tea some evening. He went to Julia's to tea, and she behaved so Benslbly and charmingly that he metaphorically smote himself for not having seen long ago that life was a howling wilderness without a wife. She sang to him, and he liked her songs because they were not too saccharine In sentiment. It was a glorious evening for both, and she Invited him to come whenever he chose, and guide her choice of books. Mr. Lanrelle’s conception of love was august, and glittered with Arthurian rectitude. He professed a knightly chivalry, and offered a devotion of such ardor that no caprice of Julia could chill it. The fanfare of adulation wound up with an Impromptu ode to her eyes, which so correctly catalogued the glories of those Orbs that It might have been written by an outcast with a gift for rhyme. When this avalanche of sentiment fell on Julia she gasped with amazement, and soon got hopelessly out of her depth In the welter of unfamiliar words In which be expressed bis adoration. Julia wisely refrained from answer-

tag It, and he called in some treplda> tlon a few days later. He had never been so wildly In love before and fear* ed that he might have overdone it She, however, put him at his ease on that point and he became a frequent guest at her house. Now. Juila generally managed matters so that he should avoid meeting other friends until he could be introduced as her future husband, for then his Sir Galahad style of gallantry would be excused. One evening, however, an old lover called; he was a bank clerk with a divine mustache. He was also deeply in debt. Julia was In a radiant humor and simply could not resist the temptation to flirt. She cooed and languished and rather neglected Mr. Laurelle, who was puzzled wt first and finally took refuge to deep thought. He made no allowances for the civilities due to t fellow guest. He did not understand the persiflage of his companions and felt that he was being made foolish. Julia was not an alert observer and saw nothing of the turmoil, that was tearing Mr. Laurelle’s delicate nerves 'to shreds. He fancied that the other man saw his discomfiture and was enjoying it. This infuriated him and he abruptly bade them good night with a chilling politeness which prevented her from saving the situation. The next day came and the next, and the author made no sign. - Then she wrote him a cajoling little note saying how dreadfully she missed his visits; but he was a master of the epistolary rapier and replied with a caustic courtesy that caused her poig nant anguish. He came no more. A year later she heard that he was married, and then someone sent her a small sheet of notepaper bearing the typewritten legend: “A bird in the hand should be held.” —London Sketch.

HE LIKED HER SONGS.