Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 79, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 2 April 1910 — Page 2

"whp i was Yoxnro* There la a land where storm and calm and sun Follow eieh Other with fast flying feet; A land 0 1 hope, whose hours are fair and fleet. Where life seems long, and always Just begun. With eager feet we press along Its ways. Nor pause to watch the rainbow tinted skies; Another land of hope before us lies, And In our dreams it holds still fairer days. Bo slowly hides the brightness from the sky, So slowly hope turns backward from our side, We know not when we leave those highways wide. Till we have passed the pleasant places by. Gladly would we that flowery path retrace. And breathe that hope inspiring air again; But none among the weary sons of men Has found, once passed, the portals of that place. Still memory bears us to that magic strand. With every year still dearer, brighter grown, And oft we speak its name with tender tone, "When I was young,” oh, dear, enchanted land! —New York Sun.

In Search of a Husband

According to the family Bible, Julia Walslngham was 34, but she pleaded faflty to 26 with auch ingenuous frankMM that everybody believed her. She And been engaged many times, but •ever for longer than three months at * stretch, although Bhe had been introduced to each man’s family as the only girl a reasonably sensible person could marry. The rolling stone nature Of Julia’s •Sections at last caused her to be •leased as fickle, and friendly attentions from young men suddenly ceased. She took serious counsel with herself ■• to the quickest method of acquiring • husband. There was no time to wait tor a man to come to woo her, so she Ax eased herself In a dainty costume and went forth to battle. By a fortunate accident she ran right tflte the arms of Jack Homebird, a cynical married man whom she had Sooted long ago, when he thbught her too beautiful for this sordid earth. He was sorry for Julia now, and so grateful for his own escape that he undertook to help her to stalk a husband, although his conscience told him It was a cruel conspiracy against his fellow man. Julia cheerfully confessed that, as

ah* would soon be 27 (that is to say, <*s). It was really time tor her to sober down and be of some use to the world. The Idea of Including posterity In the purview of her altruistic intentions seemed to invest the pursuit of man with a lofty spiritual purpose. Jack Homeblrd cordially approved, and they proceeded to plan the ambuscade. It was rather a protracted business, as they differed widely on the important question of tactics. "I cannot for the life of me see why you object to dances and musical evenings,” said Julia, with a pout. “My dear girl, the men you catch that way are only fit to be let loose again out of pity.” “I never thought of that.” “Few girls do, Julia.” “Do tell me what you mean In a way I can understand." “Well, all things considered, and especially having regard to your erratic past, I strongly recommend the role •f the Ingenue tor you.’’ -Whyr “Because It deceives the most experienced bachelor, and gives a neophyte In love no chance at all.” “I don't quite like that, but tell me what I have to "do without any more flippancies.” “Listen. Ask the predestined person to lend you a book or something and tell him to bring it In the afternoon. When he comes, receive him In a pretty apron, and have your hands all over floor. ‘Say you the sure he is laughing at you, but you take a delight In domestic duties and were making cakes for tea. Tell him you would ask him to stay, but, unfortunately, everything la homemade, as you were not expecting anybody. If you bad known be was coming would have been very different He will think you naive and natural, and when a man makes that mistake his days of single blessedness are drawing to a. close.” “That sounds rather deceitful, doesn’t ltr

"Oh, heaven excuses such things In a woman.” "I shall make as good a wife as most women, I am sure.” “I should hope so.” “Don’t be so horribly smart.” _ “Now, Julia, where are we going to find the fatted —I mean the victim?” "I know the man I want already.” “Thanks. You have removed a ton of remorse from my mind.” “He is au- author—Mr;- Laurelle.” “A man like that can be lured Into the tolls without trouble. 'lt will only require a little diplomacy to make him believe that you are the woman he has been waiting for all these weary years.” “I want him to feel that,” said Julia. “No doubt; but when he is engrossed in his work you will have to show him your marriage-lines to remind him that you are his wife.” “He’s a bit fond of me, but hates flirts.” "If you can avoid that virtuous form of indiscretion he will be as plastic as clay in your accomplished hands.” * • • • • • • Julia set about the siege of the author on the lines laid down by Jack Homebird.

HE LIKED HER SONGS.

Mr. Laurelle was* among other things, a poet, and sought Inspiration In a public park In the evening. He was madly fond of flowers, and, like many men similarly sensitive to their beauty, he could not grow them at home, for you could not swing a cat In his garden—at least, not with any degree of comfort to the cat. Julia met him quite accidentally, of course, and asked him about his work. He gave her a voluble biography of all he had written since a child. She told him she had nothing to read worth reading, and he immediately pressed her to accept a copy of his poetic drama, “The Startled Gaxelle." He walked home/vith her, and gladly promised to come to tea some evening. He went to Julia's to tea, and she behaved so Benslbly and charmingly that he metaphorically smote himself for not having seen long ago that life was a howling wilderness without a wife. She sang to him, and he liked her songs because they were not too saccharine In sentiment. It was a glorious evening for both, and she Invited him to come whenever he chose, and guide her choice of books. Mr. Lanrelle’s conception of love was august, and glittered with Arthurian rectitude. He professed a knightly chivalry, and offered a devotion of such ardor that no caprice of Julia could chill it. The fanfare of adulation wound up with an Impromptu ode to her eyes, which so correctly catalogued the glories of those Orbs that It might have been written by an outcast with a gift for rhyme. When this avalanche of sentiment fell on Julia she gasped with amazement, and soon got hopelessly out of her depth In the welter of unfamiliar words In which be expressed bis adoration. Julia wisely refrained from answer-

tag It, and he called in some treplda> tlon a few days later. He had never been so wildly In love before and fear* ed that he might have overdone it She, however, put him at his ease on that point and he became a frequent guest at her house. Now. Juila generally managed matters so that he should avoid meeting other friends until he could be introduced as her future husband, for then his Sir Galahad style of gallantry would be excused. One evening, however, an old lover called; he was a bank clerk with a divine mustache. He was also deeply in debt. Julia was In a radiant humor and simply could not resist the temptation to flirt. She cooed and languished and rather neglected Mr. Laurelle, who was puzzled wt first and finally took refuge to deep thought. He made no allowances for the civilities due to t fellow guest. He did not understand the persiflage of his companions and felt that he was being made foolish. Julia was not an alert observer and saw nothing of the turmoil, that was tearing Mr. Laurelle’s delicate nerves 'to shreds. He fancied that the other man saw his discomfiture and was enjoying it. This infuriated him and he abruptly bade them good night with a chilling politeness which prevented her from saving the situation. The next day came and the next, and the author made no sign. - Then she wrote him a cajoling little note saying how dreadfully she missed his visits; but he was a master of the epistolary rapier and replied with a caustic courtesy that caused her poig nant anguish. He came no more. A year later she heard that he was married, and then someone sent her a small sheet of notepaper bearing the typewritten legend: “A bird in the hand should be held.” —London Sketch.

PLANS NEW INSURANCE.

Terwtllieer Promise* a Livelihood Whatever the Cost of Living. When a man—and a fat man at that —walked up to Officer Harry Smith, who stood dutifully by the telephone booth at the Brodklyn bridge all yesterday afternoon, and remarked that he was no longer annoyed by the cost of living, Officer Smith refrained from calling the psychopathic wagon long enough to hear the fat man say: “It’s a new kind of life insurance company.” Calling to mind the fact that investigating insurance companies is a first rung on the ladder of fame, Officer Smith began to probe, k As a result of his questions a Sun reporter traveled to Yaphank, L. 1., and interviewed Terwilliger, the Inventor, Terwilliger, best known as the man who invented the chicken-picking machine, wgs found in his laboratory in the woodshed of his home, the New York Sun says. A dozen stovepipes rent the air, the sound of buzz saws was continuous, but the Inventor —a fat man himself —prevailed against them all. “The high cost of living,” said he, “is the public, indeed, I may say, the private question, of the day. I have solved it. I am about to launch and float a full-rigged insurance company which will carry the cost of living for you and me and the next fellow. “This company will not pay premiums at death. It will be a genuine life-insurance company and will literally Insure your living. By paying $lO a year you can insure having a roof over your head; by paying S2O a year you can secure a policy insuring your lodging and sustenance. By paying SSO a year you get steam heat and choice of marmalade, apple pie or charlotte russe at supper; by paying SIOO a year you obtain parquette floors throughout and grapefruit for breakfast not to exceed twice a week.” The reporter choked with admiration at which Terwilliger patted him on the back, withal kindly. “That is about all,” exclaimed the inventor. “It Is simple, as the achievement of genius always is. I do not mind, however, explaining that there seems to be money in it. However, if there isn’t agi appropriation might be secured. “How much better is it than existing alleged life-insurance companies. They don’t Insure your living at all. In fact, their carelessness has often made me wonder. You take out a pol§ icy for $20,000 or so and as long as you pay your premium you may starve to death and lose them all that money, for all they seem to care. “I will admit that this scheme of mine did not occur to me at first For a time I thought the only way to solve the high cost of living would be by repealing the law of supply and demand. But politics is so vexing and Information about this law of supply and demand ib so vague that I abandoned the iflea. It would be interesting to follow the social problem further and devise a method of insuring a man his Job; but since I understand one can already insure his Income this hardly seems essential!”

Make Some One Happy.

Charles Kingsley urns counseled a friend: “Make it a rule and pray to God to help you to keep It, never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say, ‘I have made one human being at least a little wiser, a little happier or a little better day.’ You will find it easier than you think and pleasanter.

Perhaps It Is.

" “If you. want h thing well d<n»_« “Get an expert to do it for you. Ain’t that more sense than what you were going to say?”—Cleveland Leader. It is as difficult to transplant peo pie as it is to transplant trees. Do men who have cork legs go U bad with them on I

LEGAL INFORMATION

Intoxicating liquor is held. In Hines vs. Stahl (Kas.), 99 Pac. 273, 20 L. R. A. (N. S.) 1118, not to be su—*ct to seizure on execution because the statute forbids its sale except by certain persons, for restricted purposes, and upon affidavit of the buyer showing the occasion fbr his purchase. An employe engaged in removing earth for the foundation of a building la held, in Rankel vs. BuckstaffEdwards Company (Wis.), 120 N. W. 269, 20 L. R. A. (N. S.) 1180, not to be a fellow servant of an expert employed for a short time to break up frozen ground by blasting, where the former has nothing to do with the placing, packing or discharging of the explosives, although be drills the holes to contain them. The-power conferred by the charter - -of St. Cloud upon the city council thereof, upon the subject of the removal of municipal officers for misconduct in office, is held, in state ex rel. Young vs. Robinson, 101 Minn. 277, 112 N. W. 269, 20 L. R. A. (N. S.) 1127, not to exclude the power of the state, through the attorney-general, to effect a removal for a violation of the statute above referred to; but the power and authority of each 13 held to be concurrent. a street car company is held, in Ooodfellow vs. Detroit United R. Co. (Mich.) 119 N. W. 900, 20 L. R. A. (N. S.) 1123, not to be liable for in-lury-to a boy who, upon being harshly told by the conductor to show him his father, who the boy asserts has paid his fare, attempts to go to the other end of the car, along the running board, and falls off to his injury, where there is nothing to lead the conductor to anticipate such action by the boy, who might have pointed out his father without changing his position.

CHILDREN’S GAMES UNALTERED.

Favorites To-Day Were Favorites Centuries Ago with Little Folks. Youngsters grow up, develop and al ter, but their games, the frivolities of school yards, street corners and vacant lots, are unchangeable. A man who knows kids has investigated, the Kansas City Times says. He romped with half a dozen little bundles of huskiness In his neighborhood yesterday, parrying both shocks to dignity and loss of breath. He vouches for The statement that little folks' games never change. Further he reports as follows: “The games are precisely the same as when I was small’and robust, only maybe a little more rough and tiknble. haven’t changed a bit. “ ‘Hide and go seek’ —why, I understand they played it years and years ago in England, just as I played it and the way the children play it now. Some one is ‘it’ and everybody else scrambles away to hide, and then after it’ has counted fifty or sixty or a hundred everybody is anxious -to touch ‘it’s’ base before ‘it’does. Of course you remember that whoever is caught first has to be it’ the next time. “And ‘Pussy wants a corner,’ where ‘pussy’ or it’ again tries to slip Into a corner while one boy or girl is changing places with another. Not a fractional change can be found in it. And ‘London Bridge Is Falling Down,’ where some one is caught by the bridgeholders and has to pay a penalty or-choose to support of the halves'of the bridge in the tug of war that finally results. Can you find any alteration? ' - “And all of the varieties of tagwood, Iron, grass or paper ‘tag’—how could it be supplemented to make R any more enjoyable? And ‘Run, Sheep, Run’—you remember it, of course, don’t you? And ‘Cheese,’ another sort of ‘Hide and Seek,’ where you can run qply while it’ is counting ten and holding it’s’ eyes shut. And ‘King, King Calico,’ another abridgement of ‘tag* in which the little folks try to run across the street before it’ tags 'em. And ‘Saratoga,’ or ‘Guess,’ of ‘New York,’ as it used to be called when I played it, with the procedure all the same: One ‘s.ide’ .Iljustrates some process, as picking cherries, for Instance, and the other side guesses what they’re doing. And as soon as they guess they rush to tag members of the other side and include them in their party. Of course you know all about it. Didn’t you play it the same way, twenty, thirty years ago? “Grown-ups have to abridge add revise their games and sports every year to keep up interest. They’re Jaded and latiated, but the kids are more consistent and more simply satisfied. They like their games and there are enough of them for variety.”

THE RICH SISTER.

She Fraud Huuk Mach Better OB than She Expected. “Don’t put that in, Elsie," said Mrs. Shannon, as she -watched the packing of her own trunk. She was preparing for a great event. At the age of seventy she was leaving her comfortable city home to journey several hundred miles, for the purpose of visiting an eighty-year-old sister, whom she had not seen in a quarter of a century. “Not put in your prettiest wrapper!” her daughter protested. “I shan't want it—with all that lace trimming.’' “I know. You’re afraid it will be nicer than anything Aunt Hannah has. Do you think she is poor, mother?” The habitual look of worry on Mrs. Shannon’s face deepened. “I never can find out from her letters just how p00r.,, But I know she has lost all three of her children'and

live* with, her grandson, Wilbur; apt I’m swre your Uncle James bad nothing to leave her but that little house and lot. Wilbur earns something, but it can t be tpuch. One reason I’m determined to'go is to see with my own eyes just bbw she’s situated. And, no, I don’t want that wrapper.’ 1 A long-hoped-for railroad had never come to the* village where the aged sister lived; so it.was at the end of a jolting stage ride that Mrs. Shannon “saw with her own eyes.” A neat brick sidewalk, dividing a tiny green lawn, was the first thing she noticed; then a vine-shaded porch, barely large enough to hold two small rockers, and standing there, wtth arms outstretched, a little splrlt-like figure, snow-haired and shining faced. “Oh, my dear, I am so happy!” cried Sister Hannah. “After all these years, you’re in my home!” That was the _. “I’ve a nice little guest room all ready for you,” the happy voice went on, as the sisters, in single file, climbed a narrow, snclosed'ktalrway to a, mite of a room, with low, slanting celling. “Look out of the window, Barbara. Those great locust trees have grown from seed James planted when we first came here. Do you wonder I love this place? I wouldn’t change it for a castle! Wilbur laid that brick sidewalk all alone, and built my little porch, too. He’s the dearest boy! “When you’re ready we’ll go down. Such a pretty dress, Barbara! I’m glad I can see enough to enjoy it. Yes, this left eye has failed me, but the other one is nearly as good as. ever. I shall be so thankful if I can Just keep what eyesight I have as long as I stay.” It was a wonderful visit. At its dose, Mrs. Shannon put both hands on her sister’s shoulders and looked into her eyes. Both knew that it was probably their last good-bye in life?” “You won’t ciy after I’m gone?” The little white-hairett woman smiled like an angel. “Cry!’' she echoed. ‘Tm too happy to think I’ve seen you again.” , A few days later, in her own large bedroom, Mrs. Shannon put on the lace-trimmed wrapper. “I wish I’d tdken this with me,” she said to her daughter. “Your Aunt Hannah would have liked to see It.’' “You really found her much better off than, you ieared, didn’t you, mother?” A curious expression crossed Mrs. Shannon’s face. She was thinking of a little box of a house, bare of all but actual necessities. Then she remembered the shining peace on her sister’s face. “Yes,” she .answered. “Oh, yes—much better off.”—Youth’s Companion.

Wit of the Youngsters

Grocer—Well, little girl, what can I do for you? Little Girl—Mamma says to send her a box of condemned lye. Hearing her papa and mamma speaking of celebrating their wedding anniversary, little 4-year-old Dorothy said: “Mamma, haw long have we been married to papa?” After being kissed by her grandmother, little Elsie was seen to rub her cheek vigorously. “Surely,” said her mother, “you are not wiping away grandma’s kiss?” “No, indeed,” replied Elsie. “I am rubbing it in."

The Mountain Meadow Massacre.

On the 11th of September, 1857, an emigrant party numbering about 140 souls was journeying peacefully through Utah on their way to California when they were suddenly attacked by a horde of savages, ostensibly Indians, at Mountain Meadow. Although taken by surprise, the heroic emigrants kept their assailants at bay for five days, and were finally conquered only by treachery. They were induced by John- D. Lee, who represented himself as a friend and mediator, to lay down their arms and return to the East on the understanding that their lives would be spared. Guided by Lee, the emigrants started on their return journey Sept. 15, 1857, but thejr were soon attacked from an ambush and all but seventeen —these children under 7 "years of age—were murdered. The Mormons were accused of the massacre, but tor many years persisted in charging it to the Indians, but in 1874 evidence of the complicity of the Mormons was discovered and an investigation was ordered by the United States government, yhich indicated the guilt of John Lee, who was arrested apd tried for the offense in 1875. Every effort was made by the wealthy Mormon church to save Lee, bvt after two years of delay on legal technicalities, on March 23, 1877, twenty years after his terrible deed, Lee was taken to the scene of the massacre and executed by being shot.

Willing to Aid.

“Can I borrow a raker’ the neighbor sighed. To the would-be borrower she replied: ‘You could with pleasure, there is no doubt, • ■ But Just at present my husband’s out” —Social Register. How you live in the winter play? a more important part than sassafras tea in determining y onrheaithin the spring. 'A mother who isn’t willing to be imposed upon by her children *wM be -talked about by the neighbors. There are some- men so foolish it. feel rich to count up the amounts they have spent in ths past.

QUEER TWO-WHEELED AUTO.

“DICYCLE” MOTOR CAR.

A most extraordinary twoVheeled automobile, designed on the principle of a “dieycle” bicycle which drew attention in England twenty or more years ago, has been built in London and sent to this country for exhibition. r— ; ‘ It consists of a couple of large solldiired wheels, connected by an axle from which hangs a platform sufficing for .the engine, which is at the rear, is of the single-cylinder type and develops fo“ur and a half horse power. The countershaft lies parallel with the axle of the vehicle, and on the ends are a pair of roller chains drivlhg sprockets that engage with the wheel hubs. The steering is accomplished by an ordinary auto steering wheel, which actuates wires that move friction discs between the sprockets and the wheel hubs, the drive being released "from one wheel or the other to effect a turn. The chief feature of this remarkable type of machine is the cheapness with which it can be built and the lack of vibration that results from the use of large wheels. The Seat for the driver and passengers rests just ovfer the axle.—Popular Mechanics.

BURNED PAPER MONEY.

Source of Great .Profit to the Gtrverament and Soaks. At the redemption -windows of the treasury and of the subtreasuries of the country any silver coin that has not been mutilated willfully and which still is recognizable as from the mints of the United States will be redeemed at face value, this in spite of the fact that the silver in 'the worn coin may not be worth half its face value. As to -gold coin, the government 'stands only a small portion of the loss from abrasion; but, according to weight, these worn gold coins always are redeemable. In the case of the paper currency two-fifths of a note must be presented if it shall be redeemed or a new note issued," and no matter what the evidence may be as to total destruction of this paper currency, the government regards it as the holder’s individual loss with which it is no further concerned. Fire may melt SI,OOO worth of silver coins and it is wprth its metal value. It may melt SI,OOO in gold coins and the mint will pay SI,OOO In new twenty-dollar gold pieces for the mass. But the ashes of SI,OOO in paper currency is without value. In'the thousands of fires over the country every year involving office buildings, factories, business houses and family residences an untold total of legal-tender notes of all kinds are destroyed. Every piece of such paper lost is loss to the holder and gain to the government or to a, national bank. It is a promissory note hopelessly lost to- the holder: It Is etfen more, for in many cases an individual man might redeem his debt obligation If he were assured by the holder of it that the piece of paper to which he had signed his name had been destroyed by accident and by no chance could turn up again against him.—Chicago Tribune.

New Way to Swear Off Taxes.

The best way of not paying taxes on your personal property is to swear them off. By “swearing off” is meant going to the tax assessor and making a deposition that you really don’t live where you seem to live, that you really don’t own what you seem to own, and that, while you appaer to beivery rich man, you are really overburdened by debts which you have hitherto successfully concealed. Since personal taxes began, so many wayß of swearing off have been Invented that the tax authorities had come to believe that there was no new tax dodge under the ion. :. But the tay authorities were mistaken. A few days ago a man came to the New York tax commissioners and asked to be relieved of his personal taxes. “I have only $5,000,” hh said, “and that money is in city bonds and 1b being held in trust.” “For whom?” asked the tax commissioner. The question was unexpected and at first there was no answer, but the tax commissioner -insisted. Finally, in a stage whisper, the swearer-off explained: “The money is held in trust during his lifetime —for my dog."—Success Magazine.

Not That Kind.

“That old millionaire philanthropist fs reported to be Hving in the odor of janctity.” “No such thing. I see him riding in a gasoline car."—Baltimore American. We wish we were a young girl who has just returned from school. Wr raw one yesterday, and four girls had their arms, around her. When a boy expresses a willingness to climb a tree to pick cherries they are not for his mother to put up. Whether drunk or sober, some men are natural bora nuisances. r . - i - * ; r ~-