Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 59, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 10 March 1910 — WHY OF THE HATPIN. [ARTICLE]

WHY OF THE HATPIN.

No Trouble for the Dainty Little Woman to Give Explanation. "I see how it is about the hatpins now, and it all came out in an explanation my wife £&ve me the other evening,” said the man with the Van Dyke beard, according to the New York Times. "We had been out to the opera, and as we were going up in the elevator— I admit the top gallery was our destination —I noticed for the first time that my wife wore spiked weapons protruding from her expensive new velvet tertian at every angle. - ' ... “My wife is a dainty little woman, just the right height to look well with a man of my proportions, but when I saw that the topmost of the daggers in her head gear was exactly a quarter of an inch from my eve f could have - wished her as aftitludinous as the tallest officer in the army of Frederick the Great. “I managed with gome difficulty to dodge over to one side of my wife from my former position in the rear, only to find another engine of instant destruction aimed at the side of my other eye. A s%iden lurch which brought the car to a full stop threw her forward just about the time I had squeezed in front of her, and I felt the jab of something sharp incisioning the vicinity of my cerebellum. ‘“Look here!** I snapped, as with some surprise I found myself alive on the outside of the elevator shaft. ‘I thought I invited my wife to come here with me to-night, but I seem to have brought some deadly species of* the porcupine family. Do you know that your hatpins just now nearly t caused my deathT* ‘ ” 'Oh. dearest, I hm so sorry,' came the soothing reply. When she takes on that sweet, gentle tone my structure of arguments and facts always collapses. ' ‘"Those horrid hatpins are in the way, I know/ she went on, 'but, you eee, I can’t help It Nice hatpins are

expensive, yoi» know, and I have to get one size that'will do for all my 4ats. The short hatpins, dearie, those \that are intended for turbans, would not be long enough to hold on my picture hat with the plumes, and so I Just had to get the longest size, which are about a. foot long, and use those in all my hats, even the small ones. I know they do stick out awfully, and are quite dangerous to any one who lfappens to be near me. Isn’t it a shame?’ ‘‘Gee whiz! Well, I could see just how it was. And all the time she was trying to economize for my sake, bless her heart! Any other woman would have bought two sets of hatpins. I’ll warrant.”