Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 50, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 February 1910 — GOOD SHORT STORIES [ARTICLE]

GOOD SHORT STORIES

At a fire recently a brave fireman came gasping and panting from the .burning building with his beard and eyebrows singed in the flames. Under one arm he carried a small but heavy box, wnlch he deposited in a place of safety with the air of a man who had saved a box of government bonds from destruction. On opening the box it was found to'contain six bottles of a new patent fire extinguisher. Not long ago a party of statesmen — 'it seems fashionable to call them that • —were down in Porto Rico. Congressman J. R. Mann, of Illinois, was one of the lot. Not long after they landed I* native came up to Mann. “Mighty glad to meet you, sir," said he. “I’ve read every one of your speeches in the House.” “Great Scott!” broke in VicePresident -Sherman, “I’m glad to meet you. You must be the busiest man in the West Indies.”

A certain sergeant was drilling a ■dozen recruits and after a few days’ drilling and teaching he found that 'he had not made any impression on ‘them whatever. He decided to tell jthem a tale, which - ran as follows I was a boy my mother bought me a dozen wood soldiers, which I 'drilled and tried to instruct, but without any result, of course. Then I lost them one by one, and now I have found you again, you wooden duffers!” A recent order prohibits gainbling among the enlisted men stationed at 'West Point. An old negro sergeant of a regiment recently sent there suggested a game of craps soon after his arrival, He was informed of the rale, ,and, violently protesting, went to see the captain about it. With some show of heat, he began, "Cap’n, ah under'stan’ gamblin’ ain’t ’lowed here no imo’.” “That’s correct,” said the. officer. “Well, sah, dat’s an injustice to j enlisted men, sah, 'cause I’se got a j large family to suppo’t.” A city man went into the country for the summer. He found a modeldairy farmer was one of his neighbors. He went to the farm after milk, and von the way saw a herd of sleek, welljfed, and clean cows. Much encouraged, he approached the manager. “My servant will come to you each morning for three quarts of milk,” he said. “AU .right; it will be eight cents a quart.’’ “And I want your best milk,” added the city map. “Ten cents a .quart,” said the dairyman. “Thatfs all right,” .said; the city customer. “So long as imy servant can see your man milk the cow, that price will be all right." “Fifteen cents a quart” from the dairyman broke oft negotiations. While Henry day was a Senator, a resolution, in accordance with a sometime custom, was introduced into the Kentucky House of Representatives instructing the Senators from that State to vote in favor of a certain bill then pending in Congress. The resolution was in the act of passing without opposition, when a hitherto silent member from one of the mountain counties, springing to his feet, exclaimed: “Mr. Speaker, am I to understand that this Legislature is undertaking to tell Henry Clay how to vote?” The Speaker answered that such was the purport of the resolution. At which the member from the mountains, throwing up his arms, exclaimed,“Great God!” and sank into his seat. It is almost needless to add that the resolution was immediately rejected by unanimous vote.