Evening Republican, Volume 14, Number 19, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 22 January 1910 — BY THE SKIN OF HIS (GRANDFATHER’S) TEETH [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

BY THE SKIN OF HIS (GRANDFATHER’S) TEETH

When old Ebenezer . Trout "kicked the bucket,” as some of his uncompllaentary neighbors termed the legitimate process of dying, he left an elephant on the hands of his youngest grandson in the shape of a mortgage of three thousand dollars to pay off and clear a four thousand dollar estate. The estate consisted of one fiveroom house on a suburban plot In a growing part of the city. But Peter Trout was young and hopeful, so he rolled up his sleeves and went at the task with a vim and energy that would have shamed a less energetic man. If such a man happened to be endowed with that rare quality denied to so many of us. Ten long years did Peter struggle and save for the lifting of that mortgage, and at last, when the creditor was about to foreclose, Peter slapped his pocketbook and said; “By George, I’ve got the money for •Id Patterson now, and I'll pay it to him to-morrow and clear that encumbrance, or my name ain't Peter Trout!” Peter said It with a vim, for It meant much to him. It meant the throwing off of the ten years’ yoke from his young shoulders, and the clearing of property now becoming quite valuable on account of the growing city in that direction. Peter had drawn the money from the bank that day, and took it home with him at night so as to have it ready when the creditor called in the morning, aa per arrangement. Naturally, the young man took extra precautions in fastening up the house on that particular night, and when he went to his room in the rear upper part overlooking the porch, he felt tolerably secure from robbers, and waa prepared to pass the night in quiet and restful dreams of what the morrow would bring forth. About midnight Peter awoke with a sense of Impending evil. What it was he could not define, but that indescribable dread that persons sometimes feel creep over them unawares, now took possession of Peter anti made hint look superstltiously at the shadowy wall of the room which the moonlight partially illumined. His gaze lighted on the old gun that was his grandfather's pet and companion in many a hard fought battle with redskins and bears on the Western frontier in early days. Peter remembered all that his grandfather had told him of his early history, the stories of adventure in which the old dfun played a conspicuous part. And he recalled in a dreamy way how his grandfather looked. There was the portrait over the mantel, with Its broad, white forehead, its gray, grizzly hair, and the wide mouth with firm, set chin and protruding upper lip. The lip was one of nature’s freak attempts at producing something odd. With the aid of two prominent front teeth to hold the lip out, nature had succeeded in making an entirely distinct and unprecedented effect. Though nature might have had good intentions, and an eye to beauty, her work did not altogether charrm the beholders Into ecstasies of delight, and some crude remarks often fell with a dull [hud onto the sensibilities of the owner of the face with the protruding lip and —tusks.

These unneighborly flings at him because of nature’s eccentricities, annoyed Ebenezer. and many a time he had wished the unsightly teeth were out Nature finally took compassion and took measures to remove her unappreciated work. In due course of time the tusks began to get loose and the gums fell away from them. Then Ebenezer took hope and tried every day to pull out the obnoxious teeth with his thumb and finger. He made the remark one day before his grandson, that "If he ever did get the pesky things out, he would ram them into the old gun and blow them to kingdom come.” Of course he never did anything of the kind, but the teeth were annoying, and as they got loosened more and more, the day came when be was able to remove them. But alas, Ebeneser was on hts dying bed when this state of affairs came about, and whatever became of the teeth Peter, the grandson, never knew. While thus ruminating and looking at his grandfather's picture, Peter fancied that he heard a slight noise at the window as of the sash being raised. He was sure he had fastened It down before he retired. At the -mum time he felt a cold draft on his face, which could only come from an open window.' To see the window he was obliged to turn his head a little, which he did with caution. A timid glance In the suspected quarter caused Peter's eyes to fairly bulge from their sockets. The window was open, and on tiie sill rested a pudgy hand, as of some person trying to climb up from the porch roof. The moonlight fell on the hand, and

Peter noted that It was soft looking for a man's hand, and unmarked by the scars of labor; - Whoever it was behind the hand, was evidently one who did no heavy work. Presumably a gentleman burglar. So thought Peter as he gazed spellbound at the sight. Presently a head and shoulders darkened the space and cast a shadow in the room. The man in the bed remained perfectly quiet and feigned sleep, for he. saw a pistol in the hand of the intruder. Tte latter sprang lightly into the room, and gazed about him with furtive glances. When the face was turned the right way Peter observed that the features were concealed by a mask. As the face turned toward the -bed Peter began -ftrsiromm though his life depended upon it. Of course the robber would think him asleep If he snored. Evidently the robber was satisfied with the conditions, for he merely advanced as far as the chair where Peter had carelessly thrown his clothes on taking them ofT to retire. Heavens! The robber was rifling his pockets that contained the roll of bills that was the result of ten years' savings. A cold sweat began to ooze from Peter's pores, and his snore became Jerky and spasmpdic. With one eyelid slightly raised he saw that

pudgy hand Shoved into his trousers pocket and that precious wallet removed. Then the robber began to edge away toward the open window. Peter's thoughts ran like wildfire He knew the robber was armed, and would doubtless kill him if he was opposed. Yet to see his property going was like seeing ten years of life snuffed out in a moment. He thought how foolish he was not to have prepared for such a contingency, by buying a* pistol and leaving it under his pillow. Or, if he had loaded up his grandfather’s gun, which had not been loaded since the day of his death ten years before, he would have had some means of defense, and perhaps saved his hardearned dollars. In his extremity an inspiration came to Peter. He would put up a bluff on the robber, and scare him into sobmission. While his thoughts ran thus rapidly the intruder had climbed back over the window sill and was in the act of lowering himself down on to. the porch roof. Peter sprang from the bed, crossed the room and grasped the old musket that stood in the corner. Then Jumping to the window he pointed the muzzle at the retreating figure on the porch root and cried in a shaky voice but determined will: “Hold up your hands or I’ll blow your head oft!" The robber turned and calmly scrutinized the man with the gun, and with a chuckle behind his mask, replied: > “Young man* I’m not afraid of your gun, for it is not loaded.” How he found it out, was a surprise to Peter, but still the latter tried to keep up the bluff, and roared gruffly: “You better believe it’s loaded, and you’ll get it right in the head if you don’t hold up your hands in one second.” The robber laughed a low, defiant laugh, and actually thumbed his nose at Peter and the gun. This was too much; Peter’s temper began to rise, along with his curiosity to know how the robber got inside Information about tbe_gniL-jSald he, hoarsely: “You’re a dead man if you don’t stop and give back my money. This gun is loaded \ll right—e-e-h. What made you think It wasn't loaded T” 'Your lack of confidence, young m*n, betrayed in your shaky volcsl You know it is not loaded, and 1 know you know. Ha! ha!”

With this the robber began to slide down the slanting roof, and was halt way down when • Peter's feelings got the better of him, and forgetting torthe moment that the ancient gnA, wasn’t loaded, ho leveled it at the footnoting figure and pulled the trigger. There was a flash in the pan, followed by a deafening report, and the recoil of the old gun sent Peter reeling backwards with a feeling -that his shoulder was dislocated. Other Inmates of the house and neighboring houses were Instantly aroused, and soon came flocking to the scene of the midnight disturbance. They found on the porch roof a man bleeding from a wound in the abdomen. A doctor was summoned, and the robber examined and probed. It was a strange case, the doctor said- The robber had been shot with human teeth of a peculiar shape. Two were lodged in his abdomen. “Ah!” cried Peter. “Grandpa Ebenezer must have loaded up the old gun when hp had It in his room, intendin’ to blow the tusks to kingdom come. And he never did it because he died so soon.” Then turning to the robber he searched his clothes and recovering his wallet, couldn’t resist a little fling: “How do you feel now, Mr. Robber? Do you think the gun was loaded? Ha! ha! Them that laughs last indeed laughs best.” The culprit hung his head, and was marched off to Jail to be doctored and tried for his crime. Peter paid oft the mortgage and now is a wealthy man. Among his collections are two teeth, long tusks they afe, slightly powder-marked. But Peter says he values them more than their weight in diamonds. And he is going to have them mounted and wear them for cuff buttons.—Pennsylvania Grit.

SPRANG LIGHTLY INTO THE ROOM.