Daily News, Franklin, Johnson County, 17 August 1889 — Page 2

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SATURDAY, AUGUST 17, 1889.

down the weeds, or weed out those who are negligent in their duty. Bui

NEOK

IF

THE

A

TIIERK

A

A

is the name of a postoffice in

Illinois. It ought to be a paradise for prizefighters.

north Eighth street cannot get water, residents should drill for oil and there will be no further complaint.

ferry rate is too high. Tt will be

cheaper to swim the river and purchase a dry suit when one gets ashore.

FRAN'KFOIIT

man named Hart has

been appointed third auditor of the treasury. At last accounts he hai'n't heart to accept.

is one thing against .Spencer

Smith's candidacy for railroad commissioner of Iowa. lie has so many relatives who will be constantly asking for passes.

MAX

from New York was accidcnt-

ally killed by his friend while out hunting yesterday. He wore a colored shirt and his companion thought he was a deer. Shoot the colored shirt.

FLAT-IRON*

1

washing day?

iron that is heated by

electricity and will remain hot for any ,ldesired number of hours has robbed ironing day of all its terrors. Will electricity 'now turn its attention to the horrors of

tramp nuisance is experienced

in mid-ocean. We are informed by

{.'^telegraph the City of Rome had a nar,|/^f^row escape from a collision witlui "tramp «*%teainer,H escaping only by a margin of a *&§ J«w feci. Bach tramps will liuVC to be reached by an international law as they'are beyond local urisdiction.

of the natural gas companies at Indianapolis threatens to suspend operations for lack of funds. This is the greatdifference that has yet been observed 1etWetm natural and artificial gas. The latter never fails to supply the company pvith the necessary funds.

Do

AMERICANS

SIM.UVAN

Thkrk

play base ball or is the

tf National" giwne monopolised by foreigners? The following are the names of the men who will play to-day and tomorrow: Harpke, Pelt*, Woolman, !Doyle, Harr, Doible, Behyrus, Burry.

Clyber, Schneider, Dorsey, Oonley, LoU, [Nelson, O'Brien, CnntilHon, Donovan, Kiteljorg. Yestonlay the list was increased by Marr, Widner, McCaffrey and McTatnmany. 0

1

11 II MU

It

is reported from Rome that the pope is tired of being called upon to settle so many squabbles in the United States and will appoint a high tribunal here to adjust such cases. That is correct We have always been able to manage all our quarrels without any interference and, although religious dimensions area little worse than any others, we are fully competent to settle theui among ourselves, and would like the chance of doing it,

she threw herself at Senator Sharon She followed this up by throwing heraelf in the way of Judge Terry till he married her. It remains to be seea what will be her next acrobatic feat.

A SINGLE paragraph tells that Mr. and Mrs. Cleveland have reached New York after their summer outing. A year ago they could not go so liar into the mountains but that every little detail of their daily and hourly life was amplified and exaggerated for the delectation of a craving public. One would think that the loss of power and position would be almost compensated by the privacy that has been secured. To be everlastingly under the microscopic gaze of millionsof people is the most trying ordeal in the life of the chief executive and his family.

MRS. HARRISON

For

was game throughout the

trial and, according to the report, "only showed his emotion by the way he chewed his toothpick." Considering thatthe big pugilist might haw cleaned out the crowd if he had felt inclined he certainly showed commendable self control In venting his feelings on a toothpick. He has put himself under a "training" during his recent stay in Mia* sissippi that he stood much more in need of than the one given him by Mr. Muldoon.

is a prnepeet that the sentence

of Mrs. .Maybrick will be changed from death to penal servitude lor life There is neither justice nor clemency in this. If the woman is guilty she tleaerves to sutler the penalty if she is not guilty she should be set nt liberty. should be done is to grant a rfpieve, give anew trial and allow her an opportunity to establish her guilt or innocence. The Quwtion Is not whether public sentiment is satisfied, but whether Mm. Maybrick did or did not poison her husband.

COOK TERRY'S

10

funeral took place ves-

ttnlay atStotkton, Cal. The remains lay in state for two or three bouts, guarded by Mrs. Tterry, who look occasion seve-val times to throw herself on his coffin. Her first act after his death was to throw her* aelf on his body* Tim is habit of Sarah Althea's. !She began many years ago by throwiaf herself away. Then

has returned in safety

to Washington under escort of Congressman Randall, Lieutenant Parker and General Passenger Agent Geo.L. Connor* A body guard of this size is amply sufficient for the short trip from New Bedford to Washington, especially when one considers that in the United States a woman is perfectly safe to travel unprotected from Maine to California. Of course, however, some regard must be paid to appearances and it seems to be etiquette that neither the President nor his wife must be le|t alone for a moment. We have not yet followed the royal fashion of having "ladies and gentlemen of the bed chamber" but some day when the offices are all given out and there are still some good party workers to be rewarded, these new positions will be created.- iH item

W. L. SCOTT and other owners of the northern Illinois coal mines are in Chicago, at the earnest request of many businessmen, to see if some arrangement cannpt be made bv which the striking miners may return to work. There was some prospect that a compromise might be effected but the operators could not agree among themselves. The strike originally resulted from a 10 per cent, reduction of wages. During the summer, when there has been very little demand for coal, the proprietors could well afford to have the mines idle. To meet the requirements of the approaching fall and winter they will be obliged to make concessions, but the miners will be compelled to accept some reduction, and besides will have lost the entire summer's wages. What the public would like to understand is the reason why the price of coal to consumers continues to increase in about the same proportion as the wages of the miners decrease? "There is a nigger in the" coal mine.

THE

jury have found the champion

guilty. They could not do otherwise, as most oi them were at the fight. Nor could they resist the impassioned appeal of the district attorney, "If your verdict be 'not guilty' then write on the indictment, 'Mississippi disgraced and despised' if the verdict be 'guilty,' then you will show to the world that in Mississippi, our beloved state, the law is supremo." After this burst of eloquence the jury managed, with (considerable assistance from the judgerto return a verdict of ^'guilty.", They could not afford to lose the grand opportunity of their lives, to wipe out with one little word, and a very suggestive one, the record of their state for having just about ai) little regartl ior the supreme law of the land as a state could have and remain in the union Mississippi may be satisfied with her complete vindication butbefore the public can fu% accept the situation there are one or two little circumstances they would like to have explained.

cent* ptr ym can keep informed.

8IQNS

os

HI# AFFECTION I.-.

Anxious Mother—"My dear, I'm afraid George is getting into bad company. He is out very late nearly every night"

Observing Father—"Oh, he's all right He goes to see some girl or other. Shouldn't wonder if he'd announce an engagement soon." "He hasn't said a word about any young ladv." "No but he's keeping company with one all the same. His right wrist is full of pin scratches."—N. Y. Weekly.

A DESPERATE OASI.

"Who is there?" said Dr. Brown-Se-quard, in response to a knock at his Moratory door. "The Grant Monument Fund," was the reply.

Well, I can't do anything for you. You'll have to wait till resurrection day." —Washington Capital.

.i. -fr—

THE FOUNTAIN op THE FUTURE. A correspondent desires us to state whether the so-called elixir of life is yet on tap in Pittsburg. To the best of our knowledge it is not as yet, but from what we hear it is likely to be before long. The soda fountains are destined to and fountains of vouth will take their place.—Pittsburg Times.

THE AVKRAQE MAN.

Wife: "Yon missed the baby greatly while we were away, didn't youf"

HUSK

band: "Yea couldn't sleep at all tor a while till I put a saw-horse and wheelbarrow In the bed and hired a man to play an accordion in the room nights,"— Omaha World-Herald.

OWCOVTFTKO AT LATT-A RFTMHDV. "John, did yon mail that letter I wrote to mother three weeks ago?" "Yes, dear." "Strange she didn't gel it'1 (Pause, during which John strives to disappear.) "John, did you put a stamp on it, "N-no, darling.*' (Curtain.)—-Har-per's Baaajfv,.

& S E O RE NO

No worn!sr Sullivan •aras indicted. The foreman of the jury was fne of the 500 iSrho t?t?re on the stand that fell, and le injured his leg so badly that be did not get to see the light IM should have been challenged for causa.

A LITTLE (SAME.

»X ALOSZO SOWAT8.

She played tie queen In opera, And I, who never loved before. Loved madly when her charms I sat. It waited when the play was o'erjl

And loitered near the dark- stage door.

She played the'queen with regal sway, 1 played my heart—with no excuse A sable waiter played the tray

But to my folly she cried truce, And with my heart she played the deuce.

SATURDAY'S SMILES^

The scissors grinder usually finds tilings dull.—N. Y„ News. Father: "What makes you so extrava-

rdidn't

mt with mv money?" Son: "Because think you would like to spend it yourself after working so hard for it"— New York Epoch.

Hie English sparrows have almost exterminated the wrens, orioles and meadow larks, and in five years more the goose will be the only native bird left— Detroit Free Press.

The Rev. Primrose: "Even the dumb animals teach us a lesson." Merritt: "Yes, I ventured too near a mule the other day, and he taught me a lesson I'll never forget."—New York Evening Sun.

St. Peter: "Halt!" New spirit: "Can't I come in?" St Peter: "I'd rather you wouldn't. You are just out of college arid we don't want any advice about running the universe."—New York Weekly.

Solomon Rubenstein (in deep distress): "I expect fader, ve vas better sent for some ohf dose elixir ohf live, a^n't it?" JacooRubenstein (verylow): "Vatvos you dinkin' ohf, Spiomon? Did you vants me to loss mine insurances?"—Life. "Servant (answering bell): "My master isn't in. sir, you may leave the bill if you wish." Caller (in surprise): "Bill? I have no bill—I wish -to—" Servant (in surprise): "No bill? Then you must have called at the wrong house."—Yankee Blade.

Mr. Import, to applicant for jjosition— You say you are able to distingush a genuine diamond. What are the principal features? ^Arthur Smart—A grand stand, a home plate and whitewash lines between the bases.—Jeweler's Weekly^"

John Loss (consulting a clairvoyant): "My watch has been stolen and I w^nt information that will lead to its recovery .'' Clairvoyant: "Cross my palm with a silver dollar. £It is done and the clairvoyant falls into a trance.] Your watch is in the pocket of a bad man. Find him, cause his arrest and the timepiece will again be yours."—Jeweler's Weekly. "Young man," said the ,banker, "I've decided that it's about time for me to put a check to your aspirations toward the hand of my daughter." "Oh. thank you sir. But wouldn't it be better to wait till after we're married, then the check would come as a wedding present. It would save my feelings a great deal." ~s

HER TROUSSEAU.

From Dublin the princess has ordered several evening dresses, some of which are in very beautiful colors. One is in the soft tint now universally known as old pink. The materials are broche, crepe de chine, satin and passementerie, all care:y matched with each other. The back of the dress is made perfectly plain, with a train. In front it opens oV6r' puffings of the pink crepe strewn with flowers in pink crystal passementerie Between the puffing^ is a refers of

dresses is injcatxlinpjBp^Ppnn. Tne back, like, that of th^lnk3winacle quite plain, but the fronta^aiH^Blly draped with cardinal crepe n|J|fcd trimra ed with bands of Irish point la^f the^bodice being treated' in similar fashion. A beautiful citron and silver Brocade has a deep accordion plaiting of citron-colored silk muslin in, front,. Band^ ot silver embroidery are also introduced. A white moire silk striped with satin has in the front three white panels of satin embroidered in a design of stars made of pearls* The back is veiled wi|h pearl-

starred net.

IN THE FIRST PLAOE AND THE 8ECONF PLACE. A'man from Indiana called iat police headquarters thS other day to make inquiries about his wife, who had eloped and headed this way and whom he believed to be in the city. "She ran off with another man, did she?" queried one of the detectives. "Yes, she did." "Well, don't you think it foolish to run after her?" "Foolish? How?" "Why, she. can't love you." "Well, perhaps not." "And she'll probably try it again at the first chance. "Yes, she may." "Then why do you follow her?" "Wall, in the firet place," slowly replied the man after due reflection, "she either went off with Hezekiah Smith, John Tobias, of Erwell Green and I kinder want to know which one it was and in the next place, I thought if I found 'em and blustered right up strong I mightgitdamage money enough to pay my taxes and fix up for winter."—Detroit Free Press.

PREPARING FOR THE CENSUS

There area large number of large families in Indienapolis, though in that respect Indianapolis is behind Cleveland. Ohio, where a happy man and wife are the parents of twenty-one children. The record in the city health office shows that there are about one hundred families in the city with seven children. Theaverauze number of children in an Indianapolis family is thrfee. There are several, however, with twelve, more with eleven and many with ten,

MAOCIT VERY UNEXPECTEDLY.

Mrs. Aleet: "If you should make $1,000 unexpectedly, Tom. would you give me that diamond pendant I'v* been looking at so long?" Mr. Aleet: dear." Mrs. Aleet: "Very well it to-morrow. 1 stopped wanting that ivory-finished piano to-day and $1,000 waH just the pnee of it"—Judge,

ftSASOM DCTHMOMCO.

Judge: "Did ytrn ever notice any signs of insanity in the deceased?" Witness (a member of the legislature) ''Well, once, when he was a member of the legislature, he introduced a bill thai wasn't a particle ©I interest m**' '5 ilk

•rest to anybody—except taxpay&£W York Weekly.

AT THO CASHIER'S WINDOW.

Robber: "I have you in my power! I am the king of the outlaws! Hand out the cash Cashier "1 have never seen yon before. You will have to be identified before we can do business."—Om&iia World-Herald.

A FMCR«CL*B POINT. J]®

A Detroit drummer who lately made a trip into Indiana put up in a hotel at a saudl town one night to find the fare the

TERRE HAUTE DAILY NEWS, SATURDAY, AUGUST 17, 1889.

very poorest, the beds the worst he ever saw, and the house run in such & way as to amare him. After a breakfast which he scarcely tasted he entered tbe office and said to the landlord: "What kind of a caravansary do you call this?" "A firetciass hotel, sir." "You must be craxy. Show me a single first-class point about it" "The price, sir. You have had supper, lodging and breakfast. Three dollars, if you please and if you want to ride down in the bus that wfll —Detroit Free Press.

be a quarter more."

AN IDLER'S NOTES.

Chicago attempted to annex the earth in order to get Tascdil'and the world's fair within the city limits, but Terre Haute can go her one better It has been finally determined that Charloy Ross, Tnscott and our Mr. Hale are snugly and safely hidden in an immense tract of ragweed on south Sixth-and-a-half street And, by the way, what mockery of science was it which named ragweed "Ambrosia," the "food of the gods"? For heaven's sake give us more of the food! Let us have ambrosia in the parks, ambrosia upon our streets, ambrosia in our yards, ambrosia on our housetops, ambrosic in pots in our windows, ambrosia in parlor, draw-ing-room and kitchen, ambrosia in our button-hole! Let as eat ambrosia, drink ambrosia, sleep on ambrosia and at last die in ambrosia—as we all shall do if the ambrosial authorities do not give us soon a different "food."

Last night at 12 o'clock the Idler was in bis favorite corner behind the kitchen stove, pondering deeply on the discomforts of life, when his 3-year-old and only son broke in upon him. The boy held in his hand what seemed to be a huge roll of manuscript. Perching himself upon the back of a split-bottom chair, which had belonged to his greatgrandmother, he read: "There was a cur-rent report on the street yesterday when the policeman shot the unmuzzled dog.

A cur sometimes becomes a curse. A bullet is no terrier, you know. It was a pity but the political "cop" must have nis dog or oil.

They buried him darkly at dead of night, under the dogbenry tree. An appropriate occasion foradogsologv would have been,"—

Here the Idler discovered that what seemed to be a huge manuscript was nothing more nor less than the Idler's new buff flannel trousers, on which the infant prodigy had printed, with a red and blue pencil, his hidequs jokes. "With a muttered imprecation^ the Idler started toward him, but he looked so impish and uncanny, perched there in the half light, that he dare noe touch him. The prodigy's eyes were flashing with the fire of inspiration. He was elaa only in a short waist which he had long since outgrown and with his small blue-veined limbs and body, his monstrously big head almost void othair, his face ancient and solemn as the face of a man of forty, he presented a startling combination of Puck and Henry Ward Beecher. A breezy boy is that male heir. When he was "but a fortnight old his mother was wont to read him to sleep on the tales of Doctor Cod, of local fame, and such was his superhuman ability to grasp a point that on those occasions he would frequently indicate his great delight by rubbing together,the pink soles of his feet until they were very much blistered. We call inm^'Pim forshort, but his full name is Pimple for," said his mother, "he is a rising humorist."

Query: Why should not a police officer or a constable mash, as well as another man? "Pim" gays it is curious that while one of these gentlemen is forever trying to make a sweet "mash," he always takes a "sour" one—when he drinks. Whatever that may mean, the Idler doesn't know, but if it is an officer's duty to please the ladies, there is nothing they like better—to use the language of a popular young attorney—than "a nice, clean man." But, truly, has the Idler often wondered for what good purpose are all these patrolmen. He is informed that there are some fifty—or fifty thousand, it matters not which—in the city. How generous is the tax-payer! What superb charitv! How munificent is the protection offered our homes, our workshops, our property, our lives. Policemen. everywhere! They crowd the thoroughfare they line the street they Swarm in the grocery they rest upon the counter. The atmosphere is alive with them! When you lie down at night they, hang on every picket of your fence. When you arise in the morning, your lawn is strewn with them. When you draw water at the well, you find them there. When you harness your horse, you discover them in the manger. When you make your bread, you fish them out of your flour barrel. Infinite security! Verily, no man of crime mi^ht tread "onr streets $nd live.

It is true, to maintain sndi a force of peace oftieers the citizen is jtn§yhat oppressed, but the average Terre Hautean has heretofore exhibited remarkable selfsacrifice in this regard. He is willing to pay his dollar jnst for the beauty of the thing. And it is also true that the stuff of the officer might be improved upon, A little more exercise and physical training would be a good investment perhaps. The Idler this morning encountered one of thet& ubiquitous fellows, who is a fair example of the enervating influence of fat living. He had just drooped himself from a street car near the railroad station and was moving off toward a rear door. The Idler took a good look at hint. He walked very much as a boy would move- a step» Imdder—one side at a time. He was a huge, overyrown creature, all adipose and Ikarmlem the finished and framed picture of inefficiency. The Idler recpnfo with pleasure that this is a specimen of part only of the force for it must be said that there area number of fine athletic men who wear the blue.

MOT A DUMB Ormn.

Oyster, discharged from the public printing office, is so mad about it thai he ha| issued a pamphletaanailing the office ana its management It is a very fnnny page*.

KiU. OR OURKv

feTfaere area good many skeptical folks wh© would like mighty well to aee that elixir tried on a mugwump.—Philadelphia Press.

TMC FOOUSM

MAM.

fodishtr man In the world e'er was born Thm Se wbo'd drowt? trouble bjr t&kiny a horn. If wfena be is amber be has too moefa iwsWf, He oin't iewwn ll wben he AW* doable.

forit#

Coarter.

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THB NEW YORK STAR paaacil into tbej ot new managers in November Uat, an corporation ie now in full possession an trol ot it.

During the Brat months ot the cha Improvement made in it was so pron that It came to be recognized at once as

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differ* In many respects from the editions of other New York papers, perfect epitome of the really importan of tha week carefully condensed an! tematically arranged. All the markets terest to farmers are published In Space Is given to the class of literati welcome in the home circle. Special taken to interest the women of the ho' It does not pretend to instruct the fai farming, but to interest him in tbe news of tha world, leaving the home each subscriber to mpply the practical mation on all agricultural topics. It Is eellent paper, therefore, to- obtain, tt favorable club rates, along with the printed In your Immediate locality,'s:

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The terms for a year's subscription double those given above as the rates next six months.

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JUIUNKKIV8 BALSAM.

IS THIS FAIR

We warrant IJKUMKSSK'8 OAJUIIJ WE BALSAM to cur* Hucomer Ooiotf DUrrtin*, Fifu-Ifriwtitorry, Onrnip Oolfc, OH Morbrj*. Chronic jManrbcaa, and Cosgwt Ux» Stomach and Bowels or refond tbe too.

Wti ehaUeag* any one ia tbe woitnl for at. prodnce a reraody or prescription oi equaJ rasem. promptoww and pteanaatnee* tar tti order* turned. We offior $0OO tor the barn shown to result from its use, tnfaAte or adults. 8oU by druggists. 25 jtad 90 eta. Tha steemxtt bruin on m*#tof prlw W P^. Add»«rfflLO& MKDIC CO., Tramc BUtrnt. i*t.

Boat# Refenaaus MeKw» sad the VU VsUoaal fianka.

PRTNTIXO.

J. C. S. GFROER

JOB

Office, with Dally Kewi,# sonth With

I do the pHntSng for many o| lai^eat bimine#* houses of this rilf th» Is enoug}» proof that tho work i&terUjrv and price* aa low aa the t&T No trouble to prive e«tima

UNDKKTAKKIW AND EMB

aoantr «, tucx. jamk# a. BLACK Sc NISBBT, Undertakers and Embalro

NORTH tOVKTH ST.. TKKftK »All *ar All call* win raeefve prmnpt C^»en and nlgbu

I