Democratic Sentinel, Volume 22, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 17 December 1898 — Getting Down to the First Cause. [ARTICLE]

Getting Down to the First Cause.

The professor of natural science, In one of our best-known colleges was discussing in a recent lesson the process of fertilizing plants by means of insects carrying the poOlen from one plant to another. In order to amuse the class, he extended Darwin’s ingenious illustration used in the Origin of Species, about the connection between cats and clover, and said that old maids were really the ultimate cause of it all. The attention of his hearers was strained to its utmost as he proceeded. “The bumblebees carry the pollen,” he declared; “the field mice destroy the nests of the bumblebees, therefore it is quite evident that the more field mice there are in any neighborhood, the fewer the bumblebees and the less pollen variation of plants. But cats devour field-mice, and old maids protect cats. Therefore, the more old maids, the more cats, the fewer fieldmice, the more bumblebees. “Hence,” was the professor’s triumphant conclusion, “old maids are the cause of variety in plants.” At this point a fashionable young freshman, with a single- eyeglass and a general appearance Indicating that he was got up regardless of expense, arose and asked: “I sa-a-y, professah, what Is the cause—ah—of old maids—don’t you know ?” “Perhaps Miss Brown” (a quick-wit-ted member of the class) “can tell you,” suggested the professor. “Dudes!” said Miss Brown, sharply, and without a moment’s hesitation.— Saturday Evening Post.