Democratic Sentinel, Volume 22, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 December 1898 — ATCHISON GLOBE SIGHTS. [ARTICLE]

ATCHISON GLOBE SIGHTS.

Most husbands live their entire Mvea without once being satisfactory to their wives. As long as a woman keeps her hair combed in the latest fashion, it is an indication that her health is perfect. When a man wants one friend to dine with him he has to invite six more at the same time, to keep them from getting offended. An Atchison man 55 years old is still afraid to smoke in the presence of his wife. The man might as well be married to a wildcat. , Don’t attempt to be funny with a stranger; he may prove to be funnier than you are, and your best friends will laugh to see you outwitted. The women’s Idea of a model boy is one who passes from the cradle to his first shave, and is never heard to say anything beyond “Yes, nia'm,” and “No, ma’m.” The average girl has a terrible lot spent on cultivating her “voice” In order that she may seme day come home and start “Old Hundred” in the church eho’r. An Atchison woman complains that her hired girl becomes trifling every.six months. We should say the girl does particularly well; most people are trifling oftener than twice a year. An Atchison woman who never attended a church social in her life is the beet cake maker in town, and when the church workers speak of her they sigh to think that so much talent is wasted. After sitting in a doctor’s office ten minutes, staring at the skeletons and charts showing what’s Inside a man, a patient is in such frame of mind that the doctor finds no trouble in convincing him that there are all kinds of old things in him that need cutting out. We have an idea that away back in the days before every house boasted of a can opener, the cooking was better than it is to-day. The women place a great deal of reliance in canned goods which newspaper writers can’t shake by their frightful stories of people poisoned by eating canned stuff. The women refuse to be scared, and continue to gad around till five minutes to twelve, when they get dinner by using the can opener. A woman regards her right to visit kin as a vested right, and as a right that has actual value. This has been demonstrated by a suit lately brought in the United States Court at Topeka. A Missouri woman repeatedly wrote to a cousin in Atchison that she intended visiting her, but the Atchison woman as often replied that a visit would not be “convenient.” The Missouri woman has now brought suit for $2,000 damages, setting up that she is entitled to a certain amount of board from every cousin, and that if any particular cousin sees fit not to entertain her she must pay in money.