Democratic Sentinel, Volume 22, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 August 1898 — DEVIOUS DEFINITIONS. [ARTICLE]

DEVIOUS DEFINITIONS.

Play—The work we do that Isn’t compulsory. Bachelor—A pair of scissors with one blade missing. Sleep—The only satisfactory substitute for Insomnia. Rivals—One pointing With pride to what another views with alarm. Immune—A man who has been married so long that he doesn’t mind it. Woman—A labor-saving device that helps a man make a fool of himself. Flirt—A girl who makes a fellow want to kiss her and then won’t let him. Autopsy—A method employed by doctors to determine the nature of the patient’s ailment. Conceited—The woman who dubs a man a woman-hater just because he doesn’t admire her. Husband—A man who serves five minutes as commander-in-chlef and the rest of his life as a private.