Democratic Sentinel, Volume 22, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 August 1898 — LET US ALL LAUGH. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

LET US ALL LAUGH.

JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VARIOUS HUMORISTS. Pleasant Incidents Occnorln* the World Over Sayings that Are Cheerful to the Old or Toang—Funny Selections that Ton Will Knjoy. She Leads the Procession. "It’s no use; wo can’t keep up with Maud.” “What’s the matter now?” “She’s got engaged by cable.” No Brains at All. “Belle is disgusted with that young man at the seashore.” “What about him?” “She says he is crazy; there are fifteen pretty girls there, and he goes around raring about the lovely sunsets.” Brives to Extremes. “Did you read about that lowa preacher who was engaged to seventeen girls?” “Yes; I presume the poor man was trying to keep his choir together through the hot weather.” No Room. “There’s one good thing about flats.” “What Is It?” “People who live in them have to put their children to bed when company tomes.” Summer Hardships. “Do you suffer much In the/summer?* “I was getting along all right until) »J nephew sent me a railroad pass that I can’t get time to use.” An Awkward Corner. “I’m sorry for Hambus.” f “Why?” 1 ' “He wanted to go to war, but was' rejected because he has a weak heart and his girl keeps wanting to know

why he doesn’t go. Now, how is a fellow in that fix going to get out of it?” Oriein of Their Ideas. She—lt seems to.be the general belief among the Spaniards that Americans are merely a lot of'savages. He—Yes, I guess they mußt have had ■Healings with’ some of the Eastern summer hotel-keepers. They Will Say It. Mrs. Peck—Henry, when I married you Mr. Peck—There, I’m glad you’ve made up your mind to admit it at last. A moment later the neighbors saw him running down the street without his hat. Diamond Repartee.

Swipsey—Say, dat pitcher uv yours ain’t so warm. Soxsey—Dat feller is hot stuff. Why, say, he’s got a standing contract wld de Oil company. Dey use de sweat uv his brow for gasoline. An Indication. “I wonder If Pittleus has his life insured.” “I guess so. I heard his wife urging him to go on an excursion the other day.” Two Vlewa of a Sad Case. Her father—l am afraid, sir, that my daughter can never be happy with a man who can be engaged to her a month without giving her a ring. The aspirant—Sir, I am afraid I can never be happy with a girl whose engagement to me will not induce Jewelers to trust me,—The Jewelers’ Weekly. After He Had Suffered. ‘‘Pa, what’s an amateur, anyway?” ‘‘A stranger who goes around winning races from fellows who think they are swift and whose friends have lots of money.” An Evidence. ‘‘l believe he thinks more of her money. than he does of her.” ‘‘Yes. He always had such good taste.”—Detroit Free Press. All-Important. First Mendicant—What did yer give up the “Blind Man” racket fer? Second Ditto—lt didn’t give me- no chance ter stop an’ read ther war bulletins.—New York Evening Journal. A Fcarred Veteran. “MaJ. Duflick is making a great war record, isn’t he?” “I’d like to know how you make that out. He’s still here.” “I know, but he is making all the flag presentation speeches as the various companies are being sent away to the front."

Recklem Waste. “The Americans are such a wasteful people.” “Yes; coming down on the train this morning I noticed at least six wabs and a dozen roofs on which no one had painted advertising signs.” drew Gray in Hia Service. “Well, did the boss give you a rise?” “No.” “Not even when you told him you had grown gray in his service?” “No. Gave me the name of a good hair dye.”—Tld-Bits. The Wretch.

“Hal, I’m afraid you’re going from bad to worse.* “Why? Because I’ve thrown ovei Mabel Turner for you?” Fad but Glorious. Mr. Oldham—By George! I beliers that young Dunkley is a hypnotist. Mrs. Oldham—Why? Mr. Oldham—l went to see him thU morning intending to tell him that h« imust not come here to see our daugbtei

any more and before I got away he had , borrowed $lO from me. m Didn’t Expect Too Much of Him. They had a war correspondent in court in an Eastern city. He said to the Judge: “Do you want me to tell the truth about this matter?” “No,” said the Judge; “I don’t expect it Just do the best you can.”—Atlanta Constitution. Unknown Happiness, “I see that somebody down East has attached a storage battery to a lawn mower and made a success of it” “Poor fellow! I’m sorry for him.” “Why ?” “He can’t know the Joy of being th< father of a good, healthy boy.” He Meant Welt Mr. Wibbleton—lt has always been my aim In life to say nothing rather than say things that would make me seem ridiculous. Miss Sharpleigh you’re Just like a Spanish gunner. Mr. Wibbleton—l’d like to knots how you figure out the similarity. Miss Sharpleigh—You don’t seem to have much success in hitting what you aim at.