Democratic Sentinel, Volume 22, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 30 July 1898 — JOLLY JOKER. [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

JOLLY JOKER.

He—l am willing to admit that I was*wrong. She—Ah! but you must admitthat I was right! j “I have been told that the best society is very stupid.” “Oh, I can’t believe It Is so good as that.”—Detroit Journal. Hostess—l hope you found the bed comfortable, jiir. Jenkins, JenkinsExcellent, ma’atß, I ’vearly fell asleep In it.—Tid-Bits, “Was he secretary or treasurer of the company?” “Well, they supposed ks was only secretary until after bo bait gone.”—Chicago Journal. i The attorney—You say you could not: believe this person on oath? The witness—No, sir; Oi never heard the lady; swear In me lolfe, sir. First Burglar—Any luck lately? Second Burglar—No. Worked all night on a safe, and when I got It blowed open it was a folding bed. The Judge—Wbat you so certain that you had the rit'bt of way? Th > driver—Sure, an’ my wawas tb.s heaviest, yer honor.—Life. Mrs. Straight—My daughter been very carefully brought up. Col. - But, notwithstanding, madam, I ’'€Ljl her a very interesting companion. - Hendry—So you take stock in that: yarn? Why, I wouldn’t believe that Story if I told it myself. Cowgage— Well, In that case, neither would I. Deacon Welflxt—l kin read your thoughts, Miss Nancy. Miss Nancy (coyly)—Then what makes you set so far away, deacon?—New York World. “There are two ways of making cl Maltese cross, you know,” salt? to a Red Cross girl. “I know only one/’ shereturned. "Well, the other is to stei»®Q his tail.”—Judge. * “When my wife gets a cold I can cure’ it in a day.” “What do you give her?” “Nothing; I simply say that if she is well by night I will take her to the the-ater.”—Tit-Bits. “Doctor, who was that man that screeched and howled so loud when you were pulllug his tooth?” “That was a Christian Science friend off mine.”—Chicago Tribune. “Ain’t I a litle bow-legged?” asked the dubious young man. “Bow-legged,'’ said his tailor. “The idea! Your lower limbs, sir, are absolutely without a parallel.”—lndianapolis Journal. •. He—lsn’t it a disagreeable feature off golf, losing the ball so often? She— Oh, no; that’s the only way George andl I could get out of hearing of tire caddie for an Instant.—Yonkers Statesman. “There’s no coal, mum,” said Bridget, “and the fires are going out.” “No coal! Why didn’t you tell me before?” I couldn’t tell you there was no coal, mum, when there was coal,” answsred Bridget.

“How Is your club for tbe interchange and development of Idea* getting along?” “Well, so far, It ba# developed the Idea in each member that he is the only man who has any idea*-" —lndianapolis Journal. i| “Dear me, that was terrible! Mam fell overboard in midocean the other day, and never was seen ngatn!” said Hicks. “Drowned?” asked Mrs. Hicks. “Oh, no, of course not. Spraiued his ankle, probably!” said Ilicks.—Harlem Life. “Every man has his vice,” said Tenspot to Tenterhook, who was fond of offering unsought counsel to his acquaintances. “What is my vice, pray?” asked Tenterhook. “Advice,” replied Tenspot, unhesitatingly.—Detroit Fre« Press. "I suppose that there are many problems which polar explorers seek to solve,” sakl the unscientific man. “Yes,” replied the intrepid traveler, “a great many.” “What is the most Important one?” “Getting back.”—Washington Star. The fiancee of a New-sorker at tho close of his nomination to an office, one evening during the election campaign season, hearing c»f the event, sent him a Smyrna date in Its native sugar, and with It her card on which she had written: “I love the candy date.” Delia—Professor Monograph is visiting you, I understand. Doesn’t he find the sights and sounds of the city odd? Amelia—Not at all. Some berry ped- • diers passed the house to-day crying their wares, and tbe dear old man asked me what college they belonged to.— Puck. “My wife,” said the tall, lantem-Jaw-ed man, “is as womanly a woman as you could find, but she can hammer nails like lightning.” “Wonderful!” sang the chorus. “Lightning,” the tall, lantern-jawed man continued, “seldom strikes twice in the same place.”—Cincinnati Enquirer. “What did you do with that letter that was on my table?” asked Gus De Smith of the colored boy who cleans up his room. “I tuck it to the postoffice, sab, and put it In de bole.” “What did you do that for? Did you not see that there was no address on the envelope?” “I saw dar was no writin’ on de ’velope, but I ’lowed yer did dat ar on purpose, so I couldn’t tell who yer was a-wrltin’ to. l’se an edlcated negro, I is.” A lank, awkward countryman presented himself at the clerk’s desk in a city hotel, and after having a room assigned to him inquired at what hours meals were served. “Breakfast from seven to eleven, luncheon from eleven to three, dinner from three to eight, supper from eight to twelve,” recited the clerk, glibly. “Jerushy!” ejaculated the countryman, with bulging eyes. “When am I a-going to git time to see tbe town?”—Youth’s Companion.