Democratic Sentinel, Volume 22, Number 26, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 July 1898 — Page 3

A GUARDSMAN’S TROUBLE.

From the fetroii < Jl tick.) Journal. The promptness with which the National Guard of the different States responded to President McKinley’s call for troops at tie beginning of the war with Spain made the whole country proud of its citizen soldiers. In Detroit there are

few guardsmen more popular and efficient than Max R. Davies, first sergeant of Co. B. He has been a resident of Detroit for the past six years, and his home is at 410 Third avenue. Por four years he was connected with the we 11 - k nown wholesale drug house of Farrand, Williams ft Clark, in the cnpa- , city of bookkeeper. “I have charged up I many thousand orders for Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for

The First Sergeant.

Pale People," said Mr. Davies, “but never knew their worth until I used them for the cure of chronic dyspepsia. For two years I suffered and doctored for that aggravating trouble, but could only be helped temporarily. “I think dyspepsia is one -of the most stubborn of ailments, and there is scarcely a clerk or office man but what is more or less' a victim. Some days I could eat anything, while at other times I would be starving. Those distressing pains would force me to quit work. “I tried the hot-water treatment thoroughly, but it did not affect my case. I tried many advertised remedies, bnthey would help only for a time. A friend of mine recommended Dr. Williams’ Pbk Pills, but I did not think much of the**“I finally was induced to try the puls and commenced using them. After taking a few doses I found much relief. I' c ~. no } remember how many boxes of thf pH's I used, but I used them until the 'ld trouble stopped. I know they will mre dyspepsia of the worst form and I am pleased to recommend them.” Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills a£ sold by all dealers, or will be rent pos' paid on receipt of price, 50 cents a hot or six boxes for $2.50, by addressing Dr. Williams Medicine Company, Scheiectady, K. Y.

Book of War and Navy Pictures.

“Official Photograph of the United States Navy" Is a iook of 192 pages containing views aid descriptive matter that should have conveniently at han</, for reference In connection -with dalF news reports, as well as for study of the sights and scenes at the seat of war and the strength, speed and armament of the American fleets. Sent by maW, postpaid, on receipt of twenty-five /ents In silver, or money order, by /Chicago Newspaper Union, 03 South Jefferson street, Chicago, 111. See adyertisement In another column.

’Twas Ever Thus.

Wilson—l saw a new rapid mechanical nyvement yesterday. Jllijbn—Can you give me some idea of y? Wilson—Yes; It was a clerk tacking op an early closing sign. The lake and rail arrangements of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad for this year are practically the same as were in effect in 1897. Freight for Lake Superior ports is sent by way of the Northern Steamship Company and the Owen line is used for the Lake Michigan ports. The trans-Lake Erie arrangements are with the Detroit Steam Navigation Company between Cleveland and Detroit and the Ashley and Dustin line and the Michigan and Ohio Car Ferry Company between Sandusky and Detroit.

For War at Once.

“Are you in favor of war?" “I should say I am. My mother-in-law declares she will go to Cuba as a nurse, and I want her to have a chance to show her bravery.”—Chicago Record.

There Is a Class of People

Wbo are Injured by the use of coffee. Recently there lias been placed in fill the grocery stores a new preparation called GRAIN-O, made of pure grains, that takes the place of coffee. The most delicate stomach receives it without distress, and but few can tell It from coffee. It does not cost over one-fourth as much. Children may drink It with great benefit. 15c. and 25c. per package. Try It. Ask for GRAIN-O. A French professor Is said to be the owner of a collection of 920 heads, representing the various known races of people on the globe.

Hall’s Catarrh Care.

Is a constitutional cure. Price 75 cents. There Is but one method of obtaining excellence and that is by hard labor.—Sydney Smith. Nature Is the supernatural partially unveiled. JttTS Permanenilj Cured. No flu or nervousneza after first day’s use of l)r. Kline's Great Nerve Begtoier. Send for FKEK 82.00 trial bottle and trestTs*. Dm. K H. Kline, Ltd.. 931 Aren s>L. Philadelphia, Pa. Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Stbup for Children teething: softens the gums, reduces Inflammation, allays pain. cures wind colic. 25 cents a bottle.

DADWAY’S n PILLS, Purely Vegetable, Mild aid Sellable. Cure All Disorders of the stomach, Liver, Bowels, SICK HEADACHE, B.LIOUSNESS, INDIGESTION, TORPID LIVER, DIZZY FEELINGS, DYSPEPSIA. One or two of Radway’s Pill), taken dally by those subject to blll im i atns and torpidity of the Liver, will keep the system regular and secure healthy digestion, OBSERVE The following symptoms resulting from Disease ot the Digestive Organs: Constipation. Inward piles l , lullness of the blood In the head, acidity of the stomach. nausea, heartburn, disgust of food, fullness or weight In the stomach, sour eructations, sinking or Buttering of the heart, choking or suffocating sensations when In a lying posture, dimness of vision, dizziness on rising sudden y, dots or webs before the sight, fever and dull pain In the head, deficiency ot perspiration, yellowness of the skin and eyes, pain In the side, chest, Urnbs. and sudden flushes of heat, burning In the flesh. A few doses of KADWAVS PILLS will free the system of all the above named disorders. Price. 25 cents per box. Sold by druggists, or sent by mall. _____ RADWAY & CO., 55 Elm Street, New York. HEADACHE “Both rat wire and myself have been using CASCARETS and they are the beet medicine we hare ever had In the house. Last week my wife was frantto with headache for two days, she tried some of yourCASCARETS, and they relieved tNe pain in her head almost immediately. We both recommend Cascsreta." Chas. Stedeford. Pittsburg Safe & Deposit Ca, Pittsburg, Pa CANDY M fL CATHARTIC IOKM TRADE MARK RCOISTCRgO Pleasant, Palatable. Potent. Taste Good. So Good, Never Sicken, Weaken, or Gripe. 10c, 25c, 50c. ... CURE CONSTIPATION, ... Sterling Brandy Cmpu), Chlngn, Manlrrsl, In Tart. Sl7 WTfl BAP Sold and guaranteed by all drug- ■ I U'DAu gists to CUKE Tobacco Hablv _ SHOOT Winchester ioapeit atioT Gun Shells Used bvAlluie (jiampion Shots. fee. Jew Name on a Postal Quid, I FOP 152 PAGS IUUSTRATCD QtALOGOS. Repeating Arms /St Wmcmrce Avr. NtwNrnH. (atm

PAYINC THE PENALTY

BY THE SCOTT

(Continued.) It was a difficult t/sk to keep Robert on his feet until tin/si ( le*.'alk was reached. The exertion /t descending the stairs rendered him m#re limp than ever; but now the’ little kfeeze stirring fanned his hot face and&e perceptibly straightened up, though fa mind was in a chaos and be’knew nothing of where be was. At this moment a young man rapidly approarhed from the south. “Why, Bob! Bob!" he exclaimed. “I never saw yon In this condition before. It wffi never do for you to go home. Come. Mother and sister have retired. You shall a (company me.” “I —I don’t know yon. I—l’m —hie —all right.” “Don’t know me! Why, Bob, lam Lawrence Terry. lam just from a meeting of the bank directors. It is nearly | twelve o’clock; there are hardly any people on the street—come!” “He is pretty full,” said the man w!*o was yet sustaining him. “Pray where did you encounter him, sir?” “Oh, he was np stairs trying bis luck. I was afraid he would fall and helped him down.” “Come, Robert!” And Terry clasped his other arm. “G’way from me. I don’t know you.” “Best to humor him, Mr. Terry. I will help yon to a hotel with him. Perhaps you may then get him home.” One on each side of Robert, the three, men staggered along—staggered for the reason that Robert’s reeling pulled and pushed them from side to side. Crossing the mouth of an alley between Monroe and Madison streets, Robert apparently made a tremendous lurch, and the three men disappeared within the drtrk alley. The cashier, who was on the inside of the walk, stumbled and fell, and Robert went down nearly on top of him. One of the three did not fall, and tovo minutes later was back in the gambling xpoms Inquiring if he had dropped a silk Handkerchief on the floor. “Yes,” said the dealer, as he landed it to him. “The porter picked it up. What did you do with Kellogg?" “Oh, the man I assisted down .stairs? Is that his name? I left him quanreling with a man on the street—some one; named Terry, who wanted to take him Thome. Said he’d been to some directors’ meeting. He seemed to know the young fellow all right, but Robert, as he called him,,didn’t want to go with him. He was crazy drunk.” “Well, you left him in safe hands. Lawrence Terry is the cashier of his farther’s bank. He will probably take him. to his own home, or put him to bed in a hotel.” “You say his father is a banker?" “Yes, the president of the Great Western Bank. Oh, the young man is ali right. He takes his nip now and then, but I never saw him drunk before. Something unusual must have started him.” “I noticed that Terry remarked that it would never do for him to go home in that condition.” “Best not, I should jutjlge. Bob is all right. It is only one of the occurrences of a lifetime. But there goes rt patrol wagon after some drunk. 'Hear the bell! Perhaps they are pulling the gambling houses. It’s twelve o’clock: Everybody cash in! Take the back stairway, gentlemen.’.’ In a minute’s time there was\a scramble by that way of exit. Almost at the moment the gentleman who had accompanied Robert toithe street was Inquiring for his handkerchief, a police officer, rounding the block,'was passing the alley. A groan fell on his ears. He stepped forward and flashed his dark lantern. f “Good God!” he exclaimed, as he blew his whistle and ran to the corner pfatrol box. “There has been murder done, sure.” Four officers were on the scene .in a less number of minutes, and the patrol wagon with a physician quickly arrived.) “Here is Inspector Hunt now,".'said one of the officers. “Hey—what is this?” Flat on his back in the istone-paved alley, lay Lawrence Terry, a dirk blade buried in his breast, and the hand of a man lying partly on top of him yet clutching the haft of the blade. “Heavens!” exclaimed the inspector, as two burly policemen removed to one side the uppermost man, after releasing his hold of the dirk haft. “God help us!” exclaimed thelphysician. “I recognize this man. “He is Lawrence Terry, the cashier of the Great Western Bank. He is yet alive. There) may be hope. Quick! My bag from the wagon!" “Here it is, doctor:” “This dirk must be withdrawn, even if his life goes with it. How it clings! It has passed the ribs. Here, take it, inspector. You will want it. Quick! Now, then, if I can stanch this blood! Bring the stretcher. Easy now, easy! We will convey him directly home. I will accompany the wagon. Is that assassin injured?" “No,” replied one of the officers. “But he’s dead drunk, or seems to be.” “Look out for him, inspector. No time to lose in this case,” said the doctor as he leaped into the wngon and gave the signal to start. But one body remained in the alley. “Let me get a look at the assassin’s face,” said Inspector Hunt. “By the powers! That man is Robert Kellogg. He is the son of the president of the Great Western Bank. Of all the incomprehensible murders I ever heard of, this leads them! A banker’s son, drunk and crazy, murders the cashier of his father’s bank. Has that other wagon arrived?” “I hear the bell. It is coming now, inspector.” “Well, well! Mr. Kellogg, Robert!" The officer was shaking the stupefied form with considerable energy; but Robert, now totally unconscious, was beyond speaking. Only groans emiuated from his lips. “Take him to the station and summon Dr. Wright. Sullivan, you go over and tell his father to come to my office at once. Don’t tell him —hold on! Hold on, let him sleep until morning. The young man is dead drunk. Evidently unconscious that he has committed murder. I will drive by the banker’s before his morning papers are delivered. That is the best plan.” As the officers were lifting the body into the wagon, a revolver fell from the young man’s hip pocket. “Well, well!” exclaimed the inspector. “A revolver and a dirk! Doubly armed. 1 have heard that Terry was to marry this young man’s eldest sister. Perhaps he objected and took this way to prevent the nniob. Move on, men, move on!” The inspector was soon the only one left in the vicinity of the alley. “A horrible crime!” he exclaimed. “How came they here at this time of night. I wonder were they np playing the bank? Young Kellogg might be that way inclined occasionally, but I hardly think Terry was. I will run up.” “Closed as tight as a drum. Lights out and no noise. Abe generally closes at twelve sharp. They were hardly here, “This blow will about kill the old man,” mused the officer ns he made his way to headquarters. “Terry is dead by this time. Being drunk will not save the boy’s neck. It’s a plum case. I have the revolver and dirk. The Great Western is decidedly in hard lines.”

Here the inspector enter*-“d his'office and closed -the door. CHAPTER - * IX. At seven o’clock on the unorning of the 21st, Inspector limit doorbell at the Kellogg residence. Julia, the house mald.f answered the summons. “Show me into the lißrary, Julia/Vsaidj Ibe official, “and inform slr. Kellogg tha* Inspector Hnnt mnst see him at once.’: “He already in de ia>’ry){’ said Julia/as she led the way. “Oh, yon, inspector? Yon arefThere early. Yon bring news?’ , “Very sad news," the inspector raid, as he closed the door and dropppd 'into a chair. “Very sad news, and L deeply regret that I am the bearer of/iti’ “Speak it out, inspector!” ? exclaimed Mr. Kellogg, who saw that the, officer hesitated. ’ “Has the bank horned down?” “Worse than that,” was the Kt>ly; “far worse. Art five minutes to tvtfelve last night, Lawrence Terry, the flashier of yonr bank, was fonnd in an alhfey between Monroe an<f Madison streets 'with a dirk blade buriedjn his bosotn.” “Heavens! This is, indeed, terrible news that yontbring me!. He was dead?” “No, he lay v in the \ alley unconscious when found, aend was taken home, as quickly as possible, accompanied by Dr. Keyes of our medical staff. I supposed he would die before. reaching .home,, but he survived the trip. lam juetyfrom'his bedside.” “Then he yet liv*es?” “He does, and his physicians hope to pull him through. A daguerreotype) in his breast pocket diverted the course of the blade. His ribs swerved it more. But it was a close call. He nearly* bled toideath. He is now conscious, but tfrohibited>from speaking." “Poor boy, I x must go to him at\once!' My daughter’s portrait saved his' life.. He was doubtless on bis way home from a meeting of our board of directors. It* was nearly twelde when we adjourned. Was the wretch captured'who attempted his life?” “He is a prisoner station^” “Oh, lam glad to hear that. I v was not aware that the young man had an enemy. Oh, it was probably another robbery/case. Where did you capture the fiend ?’V “He was found lying partly on the body of his victim. lids hand/yet clutched the hilt of the bloody jfiade/that was buried in Terry’s bosom.” “Horrible! Too hdrrthle! Let me summon my carriage and notify Robert, and Earl.” And the banker* arose to his feet. “Not yet,” said the" (officer, who was now perspiring freely . and dreaded to speak further. “Wait. " Your son is not in the house.” v “Ah, Is he already at lorry’s side? I. knew not that he had left the house.” “He was not at home last! night” “Oh, that accounts for it. He had not returned when the crime was committed, and hearing of it, repaired l there at once. I am very glad, but ” “I have a hard task before me,” thought the inspector; “but 1 cannot' delay.” “Remember,” he said, “Terry will recover; there has been no murfder done.” “That should not u)itigate the punishment of the assassin/’ observfed the banker. “The intent to do murderiwas there.” “Oh, Lord!” thought the vofficer. “I wish I had deputed Some one'of my men to do this business.” “I—you know I infdymed you that the man who attempted the life of the cashier was found drunk, partly,lying,on his victim’s body, with the dir?) hilt clasped in his hand.” “Yes; the wretch!” “He was unconscious as as Terry. Dead drunk. Had been crazyfdrunk, probably. He yet lies, or did an,hour ago, in a drunken stupor at the station. He may be unconscious that he has committed a crime. In fact, lam certain he is.” “He should swing for it.' Even ifjTerry lives, he should get twenty years.” “This young man ” “Young man! Assassin, you mean. Well?” “Mr. Kellogg, I would rather <be kicked out of your house than go further. But — but—the young man whose hand' clasped the dirk hilt and who lay unconscious on the form of your cashier was f ’ “Who? Did you recognize him? Speak, man, speak! I cannot understand your delay. Name the assassin of Lawirence Terry.” “God help yon, I will! Robert)Kellogg; —your son!” With a groan of anguish the stricken) father sank again in his chair. “No, no, it is impossible! Unsay.those* words, Hunt, if you are a man!” “Would to God I could, sir; but they/ are too true.” “True!” cried the old man, springing to* his feet. “They are falfsp! My boy an* assassin—a murderer! Never! There isj some terrible mystery here!” “But, my dear sir, we-—” “Oh, I doubt not, Hunty that it now appears so to you. The circumstances con-' vinced you; but there are'no assassins in* my family. I never knew the boy to get 1 , drunk before. Rejoicing o*yer the improv-f ed condition of his sister,‘.who has been at death’s door, led to it. Ho, Thomas!' Thomas, I say!” “Yes, sir, I am here.” “My carriage at once. Ah, Elinor, dear, I hoped to leave the house without attracting your attention. Another blow—a terrible blow, has befallen my family.” “Dear, dear Stephen!” The widow’s face was very pale as (die cast one arm about the banker’s form. “Lawrence Terry was assaulted on the street last night. A dirk blade was buried in his bosom. He lies at home apparently near death.” “Not—not dead, Stephen! Not dead?” “No, dear, not dead. His physicians hope to save his life. My daughter’s daguerreotype diverted the blade aimed at his heart. Thank God, the' dear girls are not at home.” “Not dead?” “Bless you, no, dear. Burt Robert, my boy—my boy is in a felon’s cell, charged with the murder.” “Impossible!” exclaimed the widow, trembling in every limb. “He was found lying partly on the body with the dirk hilt yet clutched in his hand. The blade was yet in the bosom of Terry.” ‘‘A —dirk! My God!” and the madam dropped limp into a chair. “The boy was unconscious—drunk—he was used by Terry’s assailant to shield his own neck from the halter. Some wine for Mrs. Kellogg, Julia. Earl! Earl! Ah, here you are. Write a notice, ‘This Bank Closed for the Day/ and post it on the door of the Great Western.” “Your carriage Is at the gate,” observed the officer. “Yes; well, we will go." “Where first?” asked Hunt. “To my boy! Terry has attention.” The banker kissed the white lips of his intended, and hurriedly left the house, followed by the officer. “Of all the egregious blunders that*tever occurred! That wretch ” “Mother!” “Oh, I thought you were also gone, Earl.” “What is all this about?” “Why, Lawrence Terry was found on the street last night with a dirk blade buried in his breast. Robert Kellogg was found drunk by his side with one hand clutching the hilt of the dirk. He is locked up in the station chaiHd with having committed the crime. That is all I know about it.” “Well, that is the strangest thing I ever heard of,” remarked Earl. “Why, it’s incomprehensible. Some one-aside from Robert sheathed that dirk in Terry’* bosom.” “Oh, you can’t tell,” said the widow, “He was drunk.” “Will Terry die, mother?” “How should l know, Earl? If he does you will become cashier of the hank.” i “And Robert?”

“Who else could have bertm? He was apprehended under the conditions as i have stated. Yon were surely in the house and asleep. Come, drink a cap of coffee and harry away. Return and Inform, me of what yon learn.” (To be continned.)

WILD DOGS IN ARIZONA.

Are More to Be Dreaded than the Panther or the Wolf. Ranging through that section of the United States where New Mexico and Arizona meet Xre bauds of wild animals whose bRc is more to be dreaded than that of the centipede, and is as fatal as the venom of the rattlesnake. They are known as the wild dogs of Arizona. Their origin Is not positively known, but they are"supposed to be a cross between a combination of Siberian bloodhound and bulldog stock, and the large timber wolf of Arizona. The first of these was taken Into New Mexico by cattle men resident there, about fifteen years ago. It was not very long after that when the first of the present species of animals was seen, and for a time their depredations were slight. Timber wolves were not overplenty in Arizona, and while occasionally a sheep, colt, horse or steer would be polled down by the brutes, there was not attempt to exterminate them, beyond taking a shot at one of the depredators whenever opportunity offered. In these days, however, their short barks and long, dismal howls or roars, something like a coyote howl Intensified many times, are becoming altogether too familiar. The noise they make Is fearsome indeed—far more so than the scream of the panther or the howl of the thoroughbred wolf. None have ever been captured, and no one wants to capture them, for their appearance is very largely as ugly as their bite. A fall grown animal of this sort will weigh about 100 pounds, and stands from two and a half to three feet high. They are heaviest about the shoulders and neck, have a round-shaped head and short, sharp ears. The general color of their coat Is gray, but long blackish hairs , come straggling through, giving a disagreeable appearance. Occasionally one of them will be of a different color still, and perhaps of fairly good apfciearance, but this Is supposed to result from the breeding In of domestic dogs, who have been known to desert the ranches and join one of these bands. The cattle, calves, horses and colts which meet death through these animals are by no means killed by them because food is needed, but die from the effects of the bite, which In every case produces symptoms exactly similar to strychnine poisoning. Benjamin Brown of Nutrloso, Ariz., has perhaps killed more of these animals than any other person, and he regards’ the task of hunting them as dangerous In the extreme. While they have never been known to wantonly attack a human being, they will defend themselves against one quick enough.

A Young Inventor.

The power loom was the invention of a farmer’s boy, who had never seen or jheard of such a thing. He fashioned one with his pen-knife, and when he 'got It all done he showed It with great (enthusiasm to his father, who at once Jklcked It all to pieces, saying he;would have no boy about him who would /spend his time on such foolish things. | The boy was sent to a blacksmith to : learn a trade, and his master took a (lively Interest in him. He made a loom ■of wliat was left of the one his father 'had broken up and showed It to his (master. The blacksmith saw he had Ino common boy as an apprentice and Ithat the invention was a valuable one. ‘He bad a loom constructed’ under the (supervision of the boy. It worked to ‘their perfect satisfaction, and the blacksmith-furnished the means to manufacture the loom, and the boy received half the profits. In about a year the blacksmith wrote to the boy’s father that he should visit him and bring with him a wealthy gentleman who was the Inventor of /the celebrated power loom. • ( Yoij may be able to judge of the astonishment at the old home when his son was presented to him as .the inventor, who told him that the It Jb was the same as the model that he had kicked to pieces the previous year.

One Day’s Fighting in Thirty.

With an army In the field hardly one day In thirty Is given to fighting. The other twenty-nine days of waiting must be lived through In order that everything may be In. readiness for one day of work. It is not the one flay of fighting which turns the hair of an officer gray, but the twenty-nine days of anxiety for his men, the supply of their food and clothing and the maintenance of health and good spirits among them. Men do not fight well in battle on empty stomachs, and yet the ordinary soldier rarely takes care of the provisions which are Issued to him for forced marches. He eats them all at once or throws them away on account of theiij weight, and at the end of a long day*B march he is hungry, with nothing 'to appease his hunger. Then comes the trouble. He does not reason. He grumbles and expects to be supplied with more.

A Friend in Need.

A stranger, walking along a country road, met an Irishman, who was holding a ram by the horns, and the following conversation took place: “Will you hold this ram,” said the Irishman, “while I climb over and 'open the gate from the other side?” “Certainly,” said the obliging stranger f as he seized the ram by the horns. “Thanks,” said the Irishman, when he got to the other side, “the vicious brute attacked me about an hour ago, and we have struggled ever since. As long as you stand before him holding his horns, he can’t hurt you. Farewell, I hope you will be as lucky In getting away as I have been.”

Helping Papa Out.

Papa (who used a bad word when he tore his trousers)—l forgot myself then, Sammy. It was wrong of me to say such a word. Sammy—Oh, you needn’t apologize, papa. I often use it myself.—Exchange.

Can Never Be Popular.

Chappie—What do you think of the new opera? Eddie —I don’t like it very well. There are only two acts and the Intermission Is so short that even the orchestra doesn’t have time to go out.

Of High Birth.

“Why, Jennie, your cheeks are blue with cold,” said Reginald. “No; I’m blushing,” said Jennie; “that’s my blue blood.”—Harlem Life.

Placing Him.

“There goes one of the smartest men In this town.” “What is he, a college professor or a bunko steerer?” Seventeen miles a day is the average record of a Berlin street-car horse.

JOLLY JOKER.

“I guess I’ll wed and settle down,” said Krupp. He wedded, now he’s settling up.—Cornell Widow. “Did yon ever notice the expression of the face of the Venns de Milo?” “Oh, yes; she looks aH broke up.”— Truth. “Some queer poetry has sprung up out of this Cuban affair.” “Yes. Isn’t It marvelous how war has been staved off so long?”—Philadelphia North American. “Louise coaxed her mother for an hour before she secured permission to accept Mr. Widderly’s Christmas gift.” “Well?’ “And then he didn’t send her anything.”—Chicago Record. First Poet—l am going to have my revenge upon the editor. Second Poet —How? First Poet (In a hoarse whisper)— I’ve sent to him a poem, and I’ve poisoned the gum on the return envelope.—London Fun. Willie—Do grown people ever get Childish? Mamma—Yes; In old age. Why? Willie—’Cause when papa was trying to find the electric bell last night he hollered, “Button, button, who’s got the button ?’-^Judge. “It is sad,” murmured the Musing Theorizer, “to think that every man has his price.” “Yes,” admitted the Intensely Practical Worker, “and It Is a sad fact that half the time he can’t get it.”—Cincinnati Enquirer. “I suppose f classlcal music is all right In Its place,®"said Maud. “I’m sure it Is,” replied Mamie; “I don’t care to listen to it myself, but sometimes you have to play it in order to get a man to go home.”—Washington Star. “Want a situation as errand boy, do you? Well, can.you tell me how far the moon Is from the earth, eh?” BoyWell, guv’nor, I don’t know, but I reckon it ain’t near enough to Interfere with me running errands.” He got the job. —Ex. Inventor—l’m working ou an appliance that will revolutionize things in this country if I succeeed in perfecting It Friend—That so? What Is it? Inventor—An air-brake that will stop a grocery bill In half its own length.— Chicago News. “She Is very frigid In her manner,” remarked Willie Wlshlngton. “Perhaps,” was the reply, “but she has a heart of gold.” “So I have been Informed. But I am tired of trying to cross a conversational Chllkoot Pass In order to reach It.” —Washington Star. A countryman walked into a newspaper office to advertise the death of a relative. “What Is your charge?” he asked of the clerk. “We charge two dollars per inch.” “Oh!” said the countryman, “I can’t afford that; my friend was six feet three inches.”—Tid Bits. A vindication: “Have you anything to say?” asked the sheriff, as he strapped the murderer in the electric chair. “I Just want to point out what fools those people were who said I was born to be hanged,” replied the criminal, with a smile of triumph.—Philadelphia North American. - Manager—Look here, Mr. Plotz, I believfe in realism; but I don’t think it is necessary to carry it to such extremes. Author—What is that? ManagerWhy, In the second act of this new play of yours the servant is required to break fifty dollars’ worth of bric-a-brac every night!—Puck. Brother Goodman—Ah, it grieves me to hear of Brother Hunker’s death. We can ill afford to lose such men. Deacon Kinders—lt Is a great loss, but let us take It philosophically. His widow will now probably furnish the memorial window that we need to complete our set. —Cleveland Leader. “I wonder what the reason of a man's natural aversion to shopping Is,” he remarked, as his wife, with a frown, Inspected some purchases he had made for her. “It is a wise provision ot nature,” she answered, with a sigh; “it prevents a great deal of good money from being wasted.” Washington Star. A Glens Falls teacher was trying to impress on the class the lessons of Washington’s birthday, and among other questions she asked: “If the Southern Confederacy had succeeded, what would Washington have been the father of?” “Twins,” was the prompt reply of one of the boys.—New York Tribune. “You have called me a liar,” shouted the angry citizen to the offensive citizen, “and you will live to regret that speech, sir.” “That jest shows the difference in fellas,” remarked Cowboy Bill, who happened to be present; “when a man calls me a liar, he don’t live to regret it. No, sir!”—Pick-Me-Up. She was reading In a low,thrilling voice: “When the packing begins In earnest, it seems as though there could be no spot on the earth’s surface unshaken.” He roused himself from a somnolent attitude In an easy-cliair. “Who wrote that, Marie? He’s been through It, whoever he is. I wonder whom he married?” “Why, you great stupid,” said she, “it’s Nansen writing about the ice.”—Household Words. Fuddy—Talk about savink women! 1 suppose my wife is the most economical woman going. Duddy—What has she been doing now? Fuddy—She has been wanting a new cloak, and the other day she said, “I wish I had fifty dollars to get that cloak with.” Then she thought a moment, and added, “No, I won’t be extravagant. I wish I had forty dollars. Perhaps I might be able to get it for that.” Now, that’s what I call economy/’—Boston Transcript

Died a Pauper.

Samnel Tetlow, who died a pauper recently In San Francisco, was one of the earlier settlers on the Pacific coast, and in the good old days of Frisco’s babyhood was known as “Prince Prodigal,” because of the facility with which he won and lost fortunes over the green baize. He built the old Bella Union Theater, having as a partner in Its management William Skaneantlebury, whom he shot to death during a quarrel. Tetlow was sentenced to death, but “social” Influence brought about his acquittal at a former trial. At one time he owned the property now known as Sntro Heights, which he sold to exMayor Sutro for $30,000.

To Prevent Runaway Freight Cars,

To prevent railway cars from running out on the main track after being placed on a switch a steel bar is set across the rail In a slanting position, with the inner end pivoted in a socket and the outer end fitted with a loop to hold it in place. Every boy has an idea that if he wants to catch big catfish, he must go fishing at night. At a restaurant it is safe to trust the cream jug in front of only a few men.

SINGULAR STATEMENT.

from Mrs. Bank to Mrs. Pinkham. The following letter to Mrs. Pinkham from Mrs. M. Bank, No. 2,354 East Susquehanna Are., Philadelphia, Pa., is a remarkable statement of relief from utter discouragement She says: “ I never can find words with which to thank yon for what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has done forme. “Some years ago Ihad womb trouble and doctored for a long time, not seeing any improvement At times I would feel well enough, and other times was miserable. So it went on until last October, I felt something terrible creeping over me, I knew not what, but kept getting worse. I can hardly explain my feelings at that time. I was so depressed in spirits that I did not wish to live, although I had everything to live for. Had hysteria, was very nervous; could not sleep and was not safe to be left alone. “ Indeed, I thought I would lose my mind. No one knows what I endured. “ 1 continued this way until the last of February, when I saw in a paper a testimonial of a lady whose case was similar to mine, and who had been cured by Lydia E. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound. I determined to try it, and felt better after the first dose. I continued taking it, and to-day am a well wo.man, and can say from my heart, ‘Thank God for such a medicine.”* Mrs. Pinkham invites all suffering ivomen to write to her at Lynn, Mass., for advice. All such letters are seen Ind answered by women onlv.

Blindness in Russia.

Russia and Egypt are the two countries in which blind persons constitute the largest proportionate number of the total papulation. There were, according to the last census, nearly 200,000 blind persons in European Russia. The prevalence of blindness is ascribed to the flatness of the country and the imperfect ventilation of the huts used by the peasantry. Though more than half the blind papulation of Europe is to be found in Russia, there are only twentyfive asylums for the blind in that em-pire—one-tentih of the total number of Europe.

Blood-Cleaning.

House-cleaning is a duty in every wellregulated household. People don’t wait until the filth becomes painfully apparent, but it stands to reason that in every day use more or less dust or dirt accumulate. It is so with the human blood. From the enormous variety of eatables taken into the stomach, a quantity of useless material is bound to accumulate in the blood and clog the free and wholesome fiow in the vessels. Every person shou'd from time to time have a “blood-cleaning” and the best cleanser and blood purifier is Cascarets £andy Cathartic. We recommend them to all our readers.

Voice of Experience.

“Yes, in refusing me she said she never intended to marry.” “Then your case is hopeless. She is engaged to somebody else.”—Chicago News.

Try Allen’s Foot-Ease,

A powder to be shaken into the shoes. At this season your feet feel swollen, nervous and hot, and get tired easily. If you have smarting feet or tight shoes, try Allen’s Foot-Ease. It cools the feet and makes walking easy. Cures swollen and sweating feet, blisters and callous spots. Relieves corns and bunions of all pain and gives rest and comfort. Over ten thousand testimonials. Try it to-day. Sold by all druggists and shoe stores for 25c. Trial package FREE. Address, Allen S. Olmsted, Le Roy, N. Y.

Plain Enougta.

Miss Dunstan—For my part I never could understand why Desdemona fell in love with the Moor. Mr. Wise —Why, it’s all plain enough. Her father objected to it.

Coughing Leads to Consumption.

Kemp’s Balsam will stop the cough at once. Go to your druggist to-day and get a sample bottle free, Sold in 25 and 50 cent bottles. Go at once; delays are dangerous. Don’t let your heart grow cold and you shall have youth with you into the teens of your second century.—Gladstone.

Lane’s Family Medicine

Moves the bowels each day. In order to be healthy this is necessary. Acts gently on the liver and kidneys. Cures sick headache. Price 25 and 50c. The Pacific Ocean covers 78,000,00 b square miles, the Atlantic 25,000,000 the Mediterranean 1,000,000.

RSTH! i Thirty 1 i«*Gray§ W How is this? ** f{ i] Perhaps sleepless nights L 3 mi caused it, or gnef, or sick* u k ness, or perhaps it was care. JS |3 No matter wnat the cause. gj |F you cannot wish to look old Gray hair is starved hair, n « The hair bulbs have been Ur WM deprived of proper food or Vs H proper nerve force. N A| I Ayer’s | inair 1 J Vigor § U Increases the circulation In jj Jn the soalp, gives more power i.A f to the nerves, supplies miss- la II ing elements to tho hair W I used according to direc- *] m tions, gray hair begins to §A fe- show color in a few days. (J T Soon it has all the softness It r and richness of youth and El I the color of early life returns, ml 1' Would you like our book fm 1 on the Hair? We will gladly Id g send it to you. At Write ml fJ (< If you do not obtain all the (4 \ benefits you expected from I w F the Vigor, write the doctor Al VJ about it. He may be able to fc J Si suggest something of value /# fl to you. Address, Dr. J. C. [1 If Ayer Co., Lowell, Mass. VW

They Saw the Real England. A New Year calm seemed to have fallen upon a certain village not twenty miles from London as three American tourists strolled through It. Not a sold was abroad, save the geese and fowls on the common. “This,” said the Americans, “is real England.” And they turned up a muddy by lane to sniff England’s New Year peace to the full. In doing so they stumbled upon an antique cottage with a quaint board over the door. They approached to inspect the board, and from the Inside of the cottage came the sound of about twenty yokels’ voices, all singing different tunes together in voices all differently drunk. “This,” said the Americans, “is more real England.”—Loudon Globe.

Reduction in Bicycle Prices.

It is said that Western capitalists are contemplating the organization of a company, which hopes to make first-class wheels and sell them as low as $lO. Whether this be true or not, the fact remains that Hostetter’s Stomach Bitters is a first-class remedy for the stomach, liver and kidneys. For fever and ague it is a specific.

Amply Qualified.

Banker—l’m at a loss to know what to make of my son. He seems to have no brain for business. Broker—Well, would you like for me to suggest something? Banker—Certainly. Broker—Make a society leader of him.

More than Enough.

Will—So Miss Lightley refused you, eh? Did she give you any reason for doing so? Ned—Yes; two of them. , Will—What were they? Ned—Myself and another fellow. For lung and chest diseases, Piso’sCure is the best medicine we have used.—Mrs. J. L. Northcott, Windsor, Out., Canada.

BA Beautiful FREE for a few months to all users of the celebrated ELASTIC STARCH, (Flatiron Brand). To induce you to try this brand of starch,so that you may find out. for yourself that all claims for its superiority and economy are true, the makers have had prepared, at great expense, a series of four GAME PLAQUES exact reproductions of the SIO,OOO originals by Muville, which will be given you ABSOLUTELY FREE by your grocer on conditions named below. These Plaques are 40 inches in circumference, are free of any suggestion of advertising whatever, and will ornament the most elegant apartment. No manufacturing concern ever before gave away such valuable presents to its customers. They are not for sale at any price, and can be obtained only in the manner specified. The subjects are: American Wild Ducks, American Pheasant, English Quail, English Snipe. The birds are handsomely embossed and stand out natural as life. Each Plaque is bordered with a band of gold.

ELASTIC STARCH has been the standard for 25 years. TWENTY-TWO MILLION packages of this brand were sold last year. That’s how good it is. ASK YOUR DEALER to show you the plaques and tell you about Elastic Starch. Accept no substitute.

“A Handful of Dirt May Be a Houseful of Shame.” Keep Your House Clean with , S A PQUO WAR PICTURES

"IMG Mi 'lU UNITED STATES NAVY.” Over 300 views of battleships, gunboats, monitors, torpedo boats, torpedo boat destroyers, cruisers, rams, dynamite cruisers, and other war craft, besides portraits of prominent Army and Navy Officers, including a complete description of the construction, speed, and armament of each boat, together with a large, authentic, colored map of the East and West Indies, by the aid of which the reader can not only form an accurate estimate of our naval strength, but follow the movements of the contending fleets. The work includes over 20 views of the Maine taken before the disaster in Havana harbor, showing portraits of the officers and crew, and supplemented by photographs taken after the explosion, depicting the divers at their work, and other incidents in connection with this sad and memorable event. A souvenir to treasure after the war is over. Remit in silver or by money order. Price 25 Cents, Postpaid. Address CHICAGO NEWSPAPER UNION, No. 93 South Jefferson St., Chicago, 111.

rpDTTCCfPC BBLTS> BAHBA6a I KII WP X UIC EQUALED EECEI.LEKCE. 1 lIUOOIjO I- B. SEELEY, W.IIH Original Hurd Rubber Truer Mfr. Suite*, 705-706 MASONIC TEMPLE, CHICAGO. Herat* or Kupture a specialty. Perfect retention, safely and relief. Advanced methods. Unequnlea experience. Satisfaction guaranteed. Booklet free. PENSIONS, PATENTS, CLAIMS. JOHN W. MORRIS, WASHINGTON. D.& Let* Principal Examiner U. 8. Penalon Bureaa. Syr*, in l**t war, 15adjudicating claim*, atty. alnoa lit CURLS WHERE ALL ELSE FAILS*. „ Ufl U Best Cough Syrup. Tastes Good Use H SH in time. Sold by druggist*. P*l

I Have No Stomach Said a jolly man of 40, of almost aldermanic rotundity, “since taking Hood’s Sarsaparilla.” What he meant was that this grand digestive tonic had so completely cured all distress and disagreeable dyspeptic symptoms that he lived, ate and slept in comfort. "You may be put into this delightful condition if you will take Hood’s Sarsaparilla America’* Greatest Medicine. ► "4 Perfect Type of the Highest Order of \ Excellence in Manufacture.” WalterßaMUs ; £|&Breakfast /M ; i Absolutely Pure, > 'lniil Jyfll delicious, < [..Costs Less man m BENT a Cup..! ' Be sure that you get the Genuine Article, ’ ' , made at DORCHESTER, MASS, by , | - WALTER BAKER & CO. Ltd. | > Established 1780.

How To Go! Them: All purchasers of three 10 cent or six scent packages of Elastic Starch (Flat Iron Brand), are entitled to receive from their grocer ono of these beautiful Game Plaque* free. Tho plaques will not be sent by mall. They can be obtained only from your grocer. Every Grocer Keeps Elastic Starch. Do not delay. This offer is for a short time only.

CURE YOURSELF! jf ✓’ilUHEitM I l’*p Big 0 for unnatural f dißcharges, inflammation*, hr at U irritation* or ulceration* fiSy/p* niucou* membrane*. ' I anile**, and not aatrin- | lSU t HEEy*N3ChuiICAICo. gent or poiaonou*. NoW by m-nggUts, V X. IP T * l nt in plain wrapper, X. I By expre**, prepaid; for eV. " ‘V'atl #I.OO, or 3 bottle*, |2. 75. U Circular «ent on request. C. N. U Mo ‘JS SM WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS PLEASE SAY rT y*a mw the advertUeacm la tbi* aaocr.