Democratic Sentinel, Volume 20, Number 24, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 19 June 1896 — Page 6

eraoiNTOfoi

Republican Convention Opens in S‘. Louis. PARTY HOSTS GATHER Perfect Sea of Faces Confronts the Speaker. Chairman Carter of the National Committee Calla the Convention to Order—Bontine Proceedings Take bnt tittle Time—C. W. Fairbanks of Indiana Made Temporary Chairman —Makes a Speech that Calls Forth Prolonged Cheers Thousands of Enthusiasts Eagerly Seek Admit-tance-Scenes in the Great Auditorium. On Tuesday at noon the biggest national convention that has been held by the .lepublican party since its organization in 1856, when Fremont was nominated, was called to order in the flag-festooned hall which the people of St Louis erected for its accommodation. It was a great procession that up to the convention hail under the noonday sun. Nine hundred and nine delegafes, a like number of alternates and 14,000 spectators were admitted to the great auditorium. Tickets were in high demand, and all St. Louis—that is, all St. Louis which had a pull on the big sergeant-at-arms—straineu a point to be present. The following table shows the number of delegates each State and territory sent lo the convention: Alabama 22 Montana 6 Alaska 2 Nebraska Id Arizona 2 N'evuda 0 Kansas 10 New Hampshire... 8 California ....... 18 New Jersey 20 Colorado 8 New Mexico 6 Oonnectlct 12 New York 72 Delaware 0 North Carolina.... 22 Dlst. of Columbia. 2 North Dakota... 0 Florida 8 Ohio 40 Georgia 20 Oklahoma 4 Idaho .. . . 0 Oregon 8 lllmoiß 48 Pennsylvania 04 Indiana 30 Rhode Island 8 Indian Territory.. 4 South Carolina.... 18 towa 20 South Dakota 8 Kansas 20 Tennessee 24 Kentucky 20 Texas 30 Louisiana 10 Utah 8 Maine 12 Vermont 8 Maryland 10 Virginia 24

CANDIDATES FUR THE NOMINATION.

Massachusetts ... 30 Washington 8 Michigan 28 West Virginia 12 Minnesota 18 Wisconsin 24 Mississippi 18 Wyoming 8 Missouri 34 Total. 900. Necessary for a choice, 455. Of this total there were no less than 138 contested seats, distributed as follows: Alabama 20, California 4, Delaware 6, Florida 8, Georgia 10, Kentucky 2, Louisiana 12, Mississippi 18, New York 12, North Carolina 2, Pennsylvania 2, South Carolina 18, Tennessee 4, Texas 30, Virginia 4 and Arizona C. In order to facilitate the distribution of the tickets Col. Byrnes had them tied in bandies—one for each member of the national committee, one for Col. Byrnes' chief assistant, ode' containing thirteen tickets for the members of the National

thomab h. carter.

Bepublican League, one for the Woman’s League, one for Col. Byrnes’ personal use, •ne for tbe+Woman’s Republican Association. one for the College League and individual ’'tickets for the distinguished guests. The fifty-one members of the national Republican committee adopted their own methods of distributing the tickets given to them. Most of them handed them out to their friends and political rfflie# from their rooms or their State headquarters in the various hotels. It was not necessary to give out any tickets for delegates, each delegnte having a certificate of election signed by the proper authorities in the district from which 'he hails and bearing the O. K. stamp of the uational committee. The alternates were provided for in the same way. The ISO tickets allotted to the press were distributed among the accredited representatives who could phow proper credentials. In addition to all these, Col. Byrnes issued 1.500 ofrtificates to his corps of

assistants, of whom 500 were assistant sergeants-at-arms, 400 ushers, 350 doorkeepers and 250 messengers. Arrangement of Feats. There were 500 seats on the platform, all of which were taken up by the distinguished guests. The fifty-one members of the national committee sat immediately in the rear of the speaker's stand, while to either side of it were the 550 representatives of the press, including the Associated and United Press. The delegates were seated by States directly in front of the speaker's stand in the very center of the hall, while the alternates were seated on either side. Surrounding thesp were the thousands of seats for the spectators, with as many more in the gallery that completely encircled the big hall. There was no lack of conveniences in the great hall. Half a dozen long-distance telephones connected it with every important city east of the Mississippi river, and not less than 200 telegraph wires placed San Francisco, Winnipeg, Montreal, Boston, New York, Philadelphia, Washington, Baltimore, Jacksonville, New Orleans, Galveston and all intermediate towns and cities in direct communication with the convention. For the especial use of the representatives of McKinley, Reed,

Allison and other presidential candidates, ! sound proof boxes containing long-dis-tance telephones were placed at the foot of the stairs in the rear of the speaker’s stand. From these it was possible for the friends of the candidates to talk di- ! rectly to them and consult them on every Important move that was made or contemplated* in the convention hall. The arrangement of the big hall so as to admit the holders of tickets to the various sections to which they were assigned was probably the most interesting feature of the convention arrangements. There were twenty sections in all, including as many letters of the alphabet. Beginning at the northwest corner on the Thirteenth street side, A, B, C and D were the sections on the west. Running eastward along the Clark avenue side were sections E, F, G, H, I, J, and on the Twelfth street side were K, L, M and X. The north side, next to the city hall, completed the list, with O, P, Q, It, S and T. There was a first floor and a gallery section of each letter, one being directly over the other, and yet the entrances were so a rranged that it was impossible for a per•on going in at one door to get into any other section than that to which his ticket idinitted him. The same was true of the entrances to the press box, to the deviates’ seats and to those for the alternates. No one could become misplaced unless by some hook or crook he should be missed by three or four doorkeepers, in which case he would-.entet;at the wrong door, and be then overlooked by a dozen ushers, twice as many assistant sergeantsat arms and a whole raft of other employes. Down under the seats the arrangement of the rooms was about as complete as it would be possible to get them. To either side of the main entrance on the Clark avenue side wAs a large committee room, in which the credentials committee, the committees on resolutions, on permanent organization and on rules and order of business carried on their deliberations. In the southwest corner was the telephone room, aud in the center of the west side the office of Sergeant-at-Arms Byrnes. Following the walk around on the north side, you first came to the room set aside for the United Press, and next to that, just to the west of the entrance to the press gallery, was the Postal Telegraph office, where a corps of fifty or sixty men was at work. East of the press box entrance was the office of the Western Union Telegraph Company, where there were sixty operators, and adjoining that, in the corner, was the room set aside for the Associated Press and its corps of correspondents. As a precaution against excessively warm weather, and in order that the doors might be open without danger of the crowd outside jamming into the convcn-

THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION IN SESSION.

tlon hall, Chairman W. H. Thompson of the executive committee ordered that picket fences be built around the main entrances. This enabled the doorkeepers

TEMPORARY CHAIRMAN FAIRBANKS.

to swing the doors wide open and still bo able to cope with the curious crowd. Crow.l Regina to Gather. At 10 o’clock the band of forty pieces took its place in the gallery above the speaker’s stand, and at 10:20 struck up the rousing air, “Blacjf; America.” Soon after the spectators began to stream through the entrances which opened into the lower gallery. Hundreds of assistant sorgeants-at-arins and ushers were scattered about the hall and galleries. Just before 11 o’clock the thunder of arriving clubs outside the hall was heard, and the Alabama delegation appeared at the main entrnnee and marched to their seats in the pit. The contesting delegations from the State of Delaware, both in full force, the one headed by ex-Senator Higgins and the other by Mr. Addieks, were among the first to arrive. At 11:20 Senator Carter, chairman of the national committee, who was to call the convention to order, arrived and gave his final instructions to the secretaries and reading clerks. Within u few minutes the delegations began crowding into their places. The arrival of the notablA, however, was not attended by any demonstrations. The most famous of the Republican leaders seemed to be unrecognized from the galleries, but were warmly greeted by their friends on the floor. Senator Lodge, who is at the head of Reed’s New England delegation, and who was the general of the radical politicians, was besieged on every hand as he walked down the aisle. The venerable “Dick” Thompson, of Indiana, who participated in the Clay-Jackson campaign of 1832 and has lieen a conspicuous figure at every Reconvention Bince the organization of the party, attracted much attention. He bears his 87 years sturdily and looked fulhof vigor. The Ohio delegation, headed by the dashing Foraker and doughty Hanna, who as McKinley’s manager lias made himself famous within a few months in the world of polities, passed down to their places, directly in front of the speaker's stand', without a demonstration of any kind. All was confusion on the floor in the finnl moments preceding the calling of the convention to order. When the big hall was filled with people, when the banners designating the location of the States were set in place, the hands began to play, and the great speakers and statesmen and politicians were assembled there, it was a sight unrivaled by any national gathering of a political i party ever held on American soil. The ! chairman of the convention looked down ! upon a spectacle not exceeded in human i interest by any previous gathering in the ! political history of the country. The hall formed a fitting environment. The decoI rations were simple, but as striking as a | repetition of flags and portraits could be j made. Red, white and blue hunting cov- ] ered the huge trusses, and the walls were relieved by huge panels bearing pictures of great Americans—Washington, Lincoln, Grant, Sherman, Farragut, Garfield. Interspersed were shields in the national colors, flags and' gaudy lanterns. Shoulder to shoulder in a compact square a thousand men sat and faced the speaker’s stand. Backed up in tiers that touched the very girders of the hall roof | a sea of faces, eager and expectant, re- ' fleeted the grim enrnestness of the chief | actors in the arena below. Overhead a i white banner, bearing a design of an eagle ! carrying a ribbon inscribed “Republican

THE REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE DECIDING CONTESTS.

Prosperity,” furnished a standard and battle cry for the assembled warriors. Upon the hearts of the champions, as upon the hearts of their alternates, glittering badges bespoke the purpose for which the multitude had assembled, and, as in the tournaments sturdy yeomen prided themselves in disporting the colors of their leaders, so, even to the topmost ring of the surrounding amphitheater of faces, ribbqus innumerable.peeked out between the shoulders of spectators to bear witness of the enthusiasm that thrilled like a di«-

charge of electricity the entire gathering. The hands of the clock were at 12:30 when Chairman Carter of Montana unwaistcoated aqd with widespreading shirt bosom, stepped forward and with three fierce cracks of his gavel, by way of preliminary, sought to make his voice pierce the general rustle. Tfie attempt wag a futile one, however. He was exhorting the supernumeraries who crowded the aisles between delegates’ seats to “please retire.” These gentlemen failed to hear him, but his injunction was rapidly carried into effect by hustling badged officials, who swept down the aisles with more vigor than ceremony. Then there was an interval of comparative quiet, while Mr. Carter announced the prayer by Rabbi Sale. The thousands struggled up to their feet when they caught the significance of the rabbi’s outstretched hands and stood for three minutes with bowed heads. The rabbi prayed with open eyes, and applause followed his prayer. Chairman Fairbanks’ Speech. The first real demonstration of the convention came when Chairman Carter introduced Charles .W. Fairbanks of Indiana as the temporary presiding officer. William H. Sutherland of the New York delegatiou seconded Mr. Fairbanks’ nomination, and his selection was indorsed by the unanimous vote of the delegates. As Mr. Fairbanks stepped forward to deliver his speech a wave of applause ran around the galleries. Interspersed with staccato cheers. He spoke in part as follows: Gentlemen of the Convention—l am profoundly grateful for this -expression of your generous confidence. As citizens we were never called upon to discharge a more lm-

portant duty than that which rests upon us—the nomination of a President and Vice President of the United States. This duty ig a peculiarly impressive one at the moment, for it Is already written In the book of fate that the choice of this convention will be the next Presideut and Vice President of the great republic. Three years of Democratic administration have been three years of panic, of wasted energy, of anxiety and loss to the American people, without a parullel In our history. To-day the people turii to the Republican party hopefully, confidentlyi and it Is for us to meet their expectations; it Is for us to give them those candidates upon whom their hearts have centered, and to give them clear, straightforward, emphatic expression of our political faith. For a third of a century prior to the advent of the present administration, we operated under laws enacted by the Republican party. All great measures concerning the tariff and the currency originated with It. Under the operation of these honest tariff and •,money Republican laws the country grew- in wealth and power beyond precedent. We easily outstripped all other powers in the commercial race. Foreign and domestic trade was greater In volume and value than It had ever been. Foreign balances were largely In our favor. European gold was flowing toward us But all of this has changed. The Democratic party had at Chicago condemned the protective tariff principle as unconstitutional and solemnly pledged itself to the overthrow and destruction of the McKinley law and to the adoption of free trade as the policy of the United States This bold, aggressive attack upon the long-settled policy of the.

Republican party bore Its natural fruit in shaken confidence, unsettled business; and we were soon drifting against the rock of destruction. The Democratic partv was harmonious upon oue subject, and that was the destruction of the McKinley law. But when they came to the exercise of the creative faculty, the enactment of a great revenue mensure in its stead, there was discord. The imperiled interests of the country watched and waited through the long and anxious mouths for some settlement or the important questionr. They wanted an end of uncertainty. At length the Wilson bill was adopted, and it was characterized by a Democratic President as the child of ‘‘perfidy dishonor.'! It was so bad that he would not contaminate

hU hand bj siccing It. A bill that was too I baae for Mr. Cleveland to approve la too rotten for the approval of the American peoi I'leThe bill struck down reciprocity, one of the highest achievements in American statesmanship. With its destruction fell advan- ! tafeous commercial agreements. The sub- | stltutlon of ad valorem for specific duties has opened the way for systematic wboleI tale frauds upon the treasury and producers j and employers of the country. Thus we hare lost millions of dollars In revenue and the foreign producer has been enabled to un- | fairly possess our home markets. To meet the monthly deficit and protect our credit and save the government from protest the President has been forced to sell bonds; In other words, he has been obliged to mortgage the future In a time of peace to meet | the current obligations of the government. I This Is In sharp contrast with the Republican record. Our tariff laws not only raised the revenue, but they protected our domestic Industries; they Impartially protected the farmer and manufacturer, both North and South. Having attempted to reverse the tariff policy of the United Btates with such lamentable results, the Democratic party now proposea to reverse the currency policy. The present currency system is the fruit of republican wisdom. It has been adequate to all our past necessities and If uncorrupted will meet our future requirements. The very foundation of a sound currency system is a solvent treasury. When In the last half century of our history did the Democratic party advocate a financial policy that was in the Interests of the American people? Look at Its ante-bellum currency record. Consider Its hostility to the currency rendered necessary by the exigency of war, and later Its effort to Inflate the currency In a time of peace by the Issue of greenbacks. Witness its opposition to the efforts of the Republican party to resume specie payments. But four short years ago It declared for a return to the old discredited state bauk currency. The Republican party has not been un r friendly to the proper use of silver. The party, desiring fairly to secure a larger use of silver, pledged Itself in favor of an International agreement. Harrison, true to the pledge of the party, took the Initiatory steps and Invited an International monetary conference at Brussels, at which the subject of an International coinage agreement was ably and profitably discussed. Those who firofess to believe that this government can, ndependently of the other great commercial powers, open Its mints to the free and Indefiendent coinage of sliver at the ratio of 16 o 1, when the commercial ratio in all the great markets is 30 to 1, aud at the same time not drive every dollar of gold of circulation, but deceive themselves. Great and splendid and powerful as our government Is, It cannot accomplish the impossible. It cannot create value. An attempt to coin unlimited dollars of such unequal value to circulate at a parity Is bad in morals and Is vicious In policy. Upon opening our mints to the independent free coinage of sliver forelgu credits would be withdrawn and domestic credits would be greatly curtailed. More than this, there ivould be a certain and sudden contraction of our currency by the expulsion of $620,000,000 of gold, and our paper aud silver currency- would Instantly and greatly depreciate In purchasing power. But one result would follow. This: Enterprise would be further embarrassed, business demoraliztion would be increased, and still further and serious Injury would be inflicted upon the laborers, the farmers, the merchants, and all those whose welfare depends upon a wholesome commerce. A sound-money currency is one of the essential instruments In developing our commerce. It is the purpose of the Republican party uot only to develop our domestic trade, but to extend our commerce Into the uttermost parts of the earth. We should not begin our contest for commercial supremacy by destroying our currency standard. All the leading powers with which we must compete suspended the "free coinage of silver when the Increased production of silver forced the commercial ratio above the coinage ratio to gold. Shall we Ignore their ripened experience? Shall we attempt what they have found utterly Imposlble? Shall It be said that our standard Is below theirs? You cannot build prosperity upon a debased or fluctuating currency. A sound currency defrauds no one. It is

THE NOMINATING ORATORS.

good alike In the hands of the employe and employer, the laborer and the capitalist. We stand against the Democratic attempt to degrade our currency to the low level of Mexico. China, India and Japnn. The present high standard of sur currency, our labor and our flag will be sacredly protected and preserved by the Republican party. The Monroe doctrine must be firmly upheld and the powers of the earth made to respect this great but unwritten law. Our devotion to the pensioners of the nation was never more emphatic nor more necessary than now. The Republican party believes in the development of our navy and merchant marine until we establish our undisputed supremancy upon the high seas. ■' The struggle for Cuban liberty enlists the ardent sympathy of the Republican party My friends, the campaign of 1896 is upon us. The great questions for debate in the august forum of the United States are free trade and free silver against a protective tariff and sound money. Let us dedicate ourselves to the restoration of a protective tariff which shall be genuinely American and the maintenance of an honest standard of value with which to measure the exchanges of the people. A distinguished Republican has said that the supreme desire of the American people Is for an “honest currency and a chance to cam It by honest .toll.” the convention gavel Carved from a Log Taken from a Cabin Rnilt by Lincoln. * Senator Orville F. Berry, Carthage, 111., presented to the convention, through its chairman, and for his use, an exquisitely carved gavel. - This gavel was carved front,a log token from a cabin built by Abraham Lincoln at Salem, 111., in 1832. Senator Berry, who presented the beautiful souvenir, is a nephew of the Jonathan Berry who was in partnership with Mr. Lincoln at New Salem. The gentleman who carved the gavel is William Henry Bartells, of Carthage.

Both ends of the gavel are gold mounted. One end bears this inscription: “Made by W. H. Bartells, Carthage, 111., from a log of the cabin built by Abraham Lincoln, 1832, at New Salem, Ill.’’ Upon the other end tlie following inscription is carved: “National Republican Convention held at St. Louis. June 16, 1896, nominating for President.” The gavoh after having been presented to the nominee, will, it is understood, find a permanent place in'the Smithsonian Institution. Mrs. Erwin Henry King, formerly of Montreal, Can., who died at Monte Carlo in April, has bequeathed SIOO,OOO to the Montreal General Hospital, $50,000 to McGill University and $25,000 to the Ladies’ Benevolent Society of MontreaL

TUJC CONVENTION GAVEL.

A MONUMENT TO AN INDIAN.

i A Great Sioux Chief Remembered by His Tribe. After a delay of many months a I monument has finally been erected on ! the Lower Brule Indian reservation, near Chamberlain, S. D., to the memory of Iron Xation. for forty years head chief of the Lower Brule tribe of Sioux Indians. This, so far as known, is the first and only Instance in the west where a monument has been erected to the memory of a dead chief by popular subscription among the people of his tribe. Iron Xation was a prominent figure in Sioux history for a period of more than sixty years, and during the early part of his eventful career was distinctively a war chief, leading his warriors in numberless battles against the hereditary enemies of the Sioux—the Pawnees, Gros Ventres, Poncas and Crows. On one occasion, more than half a century ago, he led his warriors on a raiding expedition into the very heart of the Pawnee territory in what is now eastern Nebraska. A desperate battle resulted, in which fully 2,000 Indians participated. The Pawnees were defeated and their lodges and belongings burned or confiscated by the victorious Sioux. Many children were placed in charge of Sioux squaws and raised as members of the tribe. M present but one of the captives is yetj.alive, and, although in his old age, is contented to remain with the Lower Brules for the remainder of his days. On another occasion a war party of Gibs Ventres raided a Lower Brule village during the absence of the warriors .and murdered two Indian women, one of them being a sister of Iron Nation. As quickly as possible a Sioux war party was organized and set out in pursuit of the murderers, now in full flight for their reservation, east of the Missouri Itiver, near Fort Berthold. Upon arriving opposite the fort a band of Gros Ventres was discovered on the west side of the river, about five miles away. The Lower Brules had gone into camp, and Iron Nation's pony was quietly munching the grass some distance away. Without stopping to get his pony Iron Nation, boiling with rage and eager to reach and puhish the slayers of his sister, started on foot in a race which made him famous in Sioux history as a runner. The Sioux started pell mell toward the enemy to cut off their retreat to the opposite side of the river. Iron Nation started on foot simultaneously with four Sioux near him who were mounted. In the race of five miles he ou>listanced one of the mounted warriors. This feat is still frequently alluded to by the Sioux in their campfire tales. Iron Nation was always a warm friend of the whites. His grave over which the monument has just been erected is on a stream named by the Indians Medicine Creek. A church which was constructed through his efforts stands near by.

“Kicking” Trees.

Very few who have never witnessed the method of lumbering in our forests realize the danger, with its accompanying fascination, the hard rugged work with its health-giving results, or the enjoyment to be found in camp life in the solitary woods, miles from civilization. The danger from flying timbers or a “kicking” tree as it falls, lodges or strikes upon a stump or across a log, and swing around or flies back with terrible force, is not noticed by the lumbermen if they are lucky enough to dodge successfully. Another danger that people little realize is that of the teamsters who haul the logs from the stump to the main road. Much of the timber is cut up on the mountain sides, which are so deep that a horse team can scarcely climb up. At the top, logs measuring from thirty to fifty feet in length are loaded upon one sled and are dragged down the mountain. In places the road goes down so steep that the ends of the logs are above the horses hips. The logs with the sled tip down, and away they go down the mountain as fast as the horses can go, with the teamster hanging to the reins and keeping his balance upon the logs as they thrash and roll around beneath his feet Occasionally the teamster emits a terrific yell that would put a Comanche Indian to shame, to warn his brother teamsters that he is coming, so they can get out of the way. They drive in a turnout, and the loaded team spins past them. It is seldom that a horse loses his footing; if he does the team is sluiced down the mountain. Occasionally they go against a tree, and sometimes both of the horses are killed, hut they generally come out all right, with a few scratches. With the advent of the railroad and Invention of wood pulp, the uses of the spruce tree have been changed or enlarged, and so far as Byron, Me., is concerned, the matter of getting it from the forest to the market has changed. The logs are now loaded on to cars in the forests and hauled to the very mill doors, where they are converted into pulp and paper. During the present winter logs have been hauled to the Rumford Falls Paper Company’s mill, converted into paper, shipped to distant cities, where it is used by some of the leading daily papers, printed, returned and read by the camp’s crew where the lumber was cut within a fortnight from the time the tree was cut in the forest. Such is the effect ot progress of civilization upon this branch of business. Only a few years ago—even now, in remote sections, where railroads have not reached—one year is reconed on to get the lumber to market, and it sometimes takes to years to run the lumber out of the stream to the main river.

A Medal for Customers.

In these days of fraud and impostors the retail merchant must be very wide awake Indeed. A novel scheme of protecton from people who obtain goods under false pretenses Is In vogue In one of Philadelphia’s mammoth general stores, which works to perfection. Each person opening an account with the house is presented with a silver medal about the size of a half dollar. Unless this is shown when the goods are purchased they are held until the purchaser proves his identity. The salesmen and saleswomen have received positive orders in this respect, and the rule Is rigidly enforced. According to the last census lowa had over 70,000 more men than women.

123

Had I an X-ray camera 'Twould pleasant be, I’ve thought. To look up in my memory The things long since forgot. -Judge. In a Department Store —“I wank something nice in oil for a dining-room.” “Yes, madam. A landscape or a box of sardines?”—Life.. “When I lose any little thing like that I knew where to look for it.” “You do?” “Yes; it’s nearly always in baby’s mouth;”—Chicago Record. “What is an irretrievable error?” “It is getting up and dressing at 5 o'clock under the impression that the clock struck 6.”—Chicago Record. “Is she really so poor?” “Poor! Why, it’s one of the most pitiful cases I ever heard of. She's too poor even to own a bicycle.”—Chicago Evening Post. He cried: “I do not understand; I’ve met the blast of common Chilled in the freeze of failnre and Nobody said: ‘I told you so.’ ” —Philadelphia Press. Mudge—No, I shall not quarrel witfe Parsons. He Is completly beneath my notice. Yabsley—You don’t tell me? I didn’t know he was so good a fighter as that.—lndianapolis Journal. “I was around to your place last night and took the liberty of borrowing some of those new novels of yours." “That’s all right. I only wish you had come around before I read them.”—Life. “What do you consider the greatest charm of summer travel?” “Well, you meet a lot of new people and can make yourself agreeable and entertaining on your old stock of ideas.”—Chicago Record. He—Miss Bertha, do you know that I weally wode a hundred miles on my wheel lahst week? She—Encore! En* core! and in a straightaway direction, Reginald, if you please.”—Bosto* Courier.

“The weather I can oft foretell,” He said in tones of pain; “A new silk hat with no umbrell Is a certain sign of rain.” —Washington Star. Edith—Ethel’s husband Is positively mean. Grace—How Is that? “Why, he wants her to use her last year’s wheel, while everybody has the new spring styles.”—St. Louis Globe-Demo-crat. Visitor—What makes you so ugly, Tommy? Don’t you love your new little baby brother? Tommy (viciously)— Well, I did till somebody came In and said he looked like me.—Somerville Journal. Slngley—Who is this man Cleverly whose divorce suit is causing such a sensation? Margareb-Or, why he’s the author of that charming novel, “A Happy Marriage.”—Philadelphia North American. “Now, Johnny, do you understand thoroughly why I am going to whip you?” “Yes’m. You’re in bad humor this morning, an’ you’ve got to lick soms one before you’ll feel satisfied.’’—Harlem Life. “Blykins is the most modest man I ever saw!” said a friend of his. “What makes you think so?" “I never yet heard him claim that the bicycle he rides is the best on the market.”— Washington Star. Margaret—Don’t you think Maude loved Charlie? Ethel—No, dear; it is my firm belief that she only married him for his beautiful collection of striped outing shirts.—Philadelphia North American. Once more these sad conditions come To grieve the country and the town; The mercury now runneth up; The perspiration runneth down. —Washington Star. Teacher—Now, Freddie, since yon have correctly spelled Philadelphia, can you tell me what State it is in? Freddla —Yes, sir. I heard pa say the other day that it was in a Statu of coma.—Yonkers Gazette. “The price of your fish is dreadfully high here.” “Yes, we don’t have many to s*ll; we make more money renting them in strings to visitors who want their photographs taken to send home.” —Chicago Record. Showgo—What on earth is that bulky arrangement on your opera glass? Frontrow (gleefully)—Greatest scheme in the world! Fluoroscope attachment Turns all the actresses into livihg pictures.—Brooklyn Life. Wheeler—This thing of giving away franchises to the street car companies is nothing short of an outrage. The people own the streets, don’t they? Walker—The people who ride bicycles do.—lndianapolis Journal. : ' “I should think,” she said ' sympathetically to the young man who acts, “that you would get tired of saying the same thing over and over.” “No,” he answered with pensive sadness, “it isn’t that that makes us tired. It’s hearing the same thing«over and over when we ask for the salary that never came.”— Washington Star. “And are you really the gentleman wno writes those funny things for the morning paper?” asked the ingenious girl. “I am,” admitted the humorist, with as much modesty as he could command. “There Is one thing I would like to know. What makes you put the name of some other paper after the very funniest ones?”—Cincinnati Enquirer.

Penetration of Prolectiles.

An ingenious method of testing the penetrative power of small projectiles has been tried in Germany by Herr Muller. A large water trough is divided on the bottom by transverse ribs, and closed at one end by thick gelatine plates. The shot is fired into the end of the trough, when the hole in the gelatine instantly closes up, preventing the escape of 'the water. Each shot is retained by ribs where it falls, and its position is noted when the water is drawn, off after the firing. There neve£ was a ,ipan or woman whn could not write a little poetry.