Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 November 1895 — Uncle Alien Advises. [ARTICLE]

Uncle Alien Advises.

"1 notice, my dear." said Uncle Allen Sparks to one of his nieces, “that when you have a toothache it's the worst you ever had. The young man who was here last night was the ugliest fellow you ever saw. According to your statement a little while ago, it took you forever and a day to learn how to make a sponge cake. The house, you say. is full of flies. You have just declared ilia ttlie room is as hot as an oven, you have the dreadfulesl headache you ever had in your life, and I he boy across the road is making the feurfulest racket a boy ever made. Don't you see, my child, tliis sort of thing won't do? Some time in your life you will really have an experience requiring the superlative degree to describe it, and you won't In- able to convey any idea of it. You will have used up all your adjectives. That is ail. You can go to thumping tlie piano again.”