Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 47, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 November 1895 — Page 4

THE DO MTS GRADE. When the'engioe is a-puffiu’. An* a-anorin’ an’ a-blaffin’. Like it mighty of’en will; When yon hear the thing a-biowin', Then' you know it’s hard a-goin’, For it’s climbin’ up a hill. When it goes a-wbizziu’ by you In a way that’s like to try you If you’re just a bit afraid; When it’s runnin’ fast an’ faster. Like it doesn’t need a master, Then it’s on a down grade. When you see a man a-workin’. An’ his duty never shirkin’, An’ a-sweatin’ more or less; When you see him climbin’ higher, An’ he never seems to tire. He’s a-climbin’ to success. When you see one goin’ easy, In a manner light an’ breezy. Like for pleasure he was made, Just remember he’s a-showin’ That it’s mighty easy goiu' When you’re on the down grade.

HALLOWE’EN ADVENTURE.

BY MR3. M. L. R.VYNE. A man whose dress indicated that he was a clergyman boarded a street car in a western city, and at once found himself surrounded by friends. It was the eve of All-Souls’ Day, and he was on his way to church, where he was to preach against superstition, and this bevy of good-looking girls and stalwart young uieu was composed of his own people. They were on their way to church also, being destined to a scolding for the sins of former years, when they had kept the eve of All-Souls' in the pagan spirit of Hallowe’en, rioting about with mirrors and lighted candles, melting lead and dropping it into a tub of water, ducking for apples, throwing a ball of yarn down some lonely staircase in some secluded building, all for the foolish purpose of finding out In advance of fate and by uncanny means if lovers were coming to woo. They were going to the little church of St. Winifred, and the pastor was the Rev. David Griffith, and he spoke with his parishioners in an unknown tongue, at least it was unknown to the only American passenger, a man who prided himself upon being almost a linguist. “May I inquire';” lie asked respectfully of a tall brunette, who stood •next to him, "what countrywoman you are?” “American,” she answered in the purest. English accents. “But —but —you speak another tongue?” “Oh, yes, I forgot,” she said, laughing, "we are Welsh, and that is our native speech. But it is ouly when we come together, as on 1 1lls occasion, that we use it.” It was very evident that they had no need of a Welsh vocabulary in which to express themselves, for they not ouly spoke English fluently, but with a musical intonation that was delightful to a cultivated ear. But it was the wish of the pastor, the Rev. David Griffith, that they should not forget the language that was to him the most musical iu the world, albeit its consonantal speech of Taffyland is as trying as it is fascinating to American tongues. “Did you look for a sprig of ash?” asked a pretty young Cymrinn of the tall brunette. “That did I not, Nell; I promised not to anger Mr. Griffith this year as I last.” “Would he be very angry if you found an even-leaved sprig of ash, think you, Gladys? We would all know what to name it, in spite of St. David's objections.” “H-u-s-h,” interposed Gladys, in a whisper, “we are nearing the church. I promised not to engage iu any Hallowe’en games this year, so yon will not expect me to-uight, Nell, after church. I may spell out an appleparing alone, for the sake of the dear old days.” “I think you are silly, Gladys, to let Mr. Griffith influence you. If amusements that the Whole world engages In on this night do not please him, he denounces us all as siuners for participating in them. I think he oversteps his power.”

But the car had stopped and minister and people were pouring out and soon had ascended the steps of the little church of St. Winifred. The sermon was in Welsh, and the minister, a young, handsome man, listened to with close attention, both by the elders of the congregation and the younglings, for hp had taken a determined stand against the custom of keeping this one special festival of theyear.with particular reference to the ghosts and hobgoblins which have markedit for their own, as tlieWelsh people ardently believe, ne invaded Welshliterature to prove that such a being as a fairy never existed, and he substantiated the statement from liis blble. He demanded a greater reverence for the holy office of matrimony than the practice of pulling stalks, big or little, crooked or straight, in order to determine the appearance of a future partner. He denounced the fallacy of eating an apple before a mirror, expecting the future husband would look over the shoulder. “No man,” he declared, “would be willing to wed a woman who would wind a ball of yarn, chanting doggerel manwhile, saying over words that are impious as defying fate, or challenging Providence. Hallowe’en is the Devil’s Sunday. It is the Witches’ night, and we may well believe that the evil one sends out his myrmidons •n that night to do his bidding.” It was only last year that on the following morning a witcli-riddeu sign “Beer Saloon” had been fastened over the door of the sacred edifice. These were tricks of the devil, and he was there to exorcise him. Nut-cracking was used as an interpretation of the future, and other unholy rites were used in the fireside revelries of the evening. He hoped his parishioners would desist from this custom of pagan worship. All were duly impressed with the earnestness of the pastor, but the Welsh people, as the Rev. David knew to his cost, were naturally stubborn, and tliey loved their traditions. Chloe and Cynthia and Phillis, with Lubin. their brother, might be influenced! lxeing American-born, but the Llewellyn* and Gonerils, of Welshland,

merely shook their high-hatted heads, and went home to prepare for a roaring farce in their own homes with such embellishments as they might deem proper—behind the pastor's back. Nell GWynne could not prevail on Gladys to accompany her home, so she went on without her. and David Griffith, waiting, as was his wont, offered to see Gladys safe to her own door. But the girl shook her head. "I am not afraid.” she made answer, “and I could not eujoy the walk after your sermon.” "Has it made such an impression on you?” he asked, forgetting his clerical intonation in a tenderer cadence. "It lias made me unhappy,” said the the young woman, regarding him with sorrowful, uplifted eyes. "I am glad,” he said with the fire of an enthusiast. ”1 am tired of preaching to deaf ears. I am glad that one soul is convinced.” ”1 am convinced in one way ouly—that you are fighting a great war against evil witli straws.” Then she left him, riding home, that lie might have no excuse to follow. Rev. David Griffith had received such a blow straight between the eyes that lie saw nothing but a firmament of stars, and leaving tlie old sexton to close the church, he. too. went home, a humbled and disappointed man, for lie dearly loved this same Gladys Allyn and was set on having her for a. wife if she would consent. He knew that the Welsh women make the most faithful wives in the world, hut lie had not found courage to declare himself. and there were several likely yoting Coriiishmen in the field. Gladys went home and found the house holding high carnival. Her younger brothers and sisters had not attended church, and instead were carrying out all the unholy rites, as David Griffith called them, of Hallowe’en. Bonfires were* burning in tlie yard, and in the kitchen a twirling stick with a lighted candle on one end and an apple on the other amused the youngsters. Three dishes were on the hearth, one empty, one filled witli soapy, and one with clear water. 8011, her brother, invited Gladys to try her luck. •'Dunno bout you mout get tk' parson,” he said with a grimace. But the girl had no heart for the usual festivities since they had been denounced as sinful, and went up to her own little room and sat there alone until at last love and superstition got the better of her resolution. “I’ll try It just tliis once,” she said to herself, “and never again.” Then she went to an old chest and took out one of the high chimney-pot hats, worn by the C.vmri, and a short mother hubbard cloak and attired in these slipped out and wended her way to the church. Under her cloak she carried a candle and this she now lighted, and shielding it from the wind she begun a circuit of the building. If there was anything in the stories they told she would see an appearance—the wraith of the man she desired to marry. She carried out this Hallowe'en ritual to the letter, and then in the gloom and shadow of the church Gladys saw a figure approaching and an immediate fear took possession of her.

It was a tall figure wrapped in the folds of a Llandudno shawl, the figure of a man, and a very resolute one, too, for lie threw open u door which led to tlie basement and producing a round object from his pocket began an incantation of some sort. “I wind, I wind, I wind, who holds?” he cried out excitedly, and Gladys recognized tlie voice, and a great joy effaced every vestige of her fear. ”1 hold, J hold, I hold,” ‘ she answered boldly. But her voice had exactly the opposite effect of that which she anticipated. It was the young rector, as she knew, who was holding an end of the yarn, the ball of which he had dropped down the basement stairs. When she spoke in answer to ids question he wheeled round and beholding, as lie supposed, an ancient woman, lie made no dpuht that she was one of the goblins against whom he had been warning ids people, and lie started back with a cry, and fell prone to the earth at the bottom of the stairs. It was now Gladys’ turn to be frightened. Springing to the top of the stairway, she called in clear tones- “ Mr. Griffith.” No answer. “David,” very softly. ’ A deep groan. Her candle was still burning. She slipped down the steep stairs and saw the helpless form lying at the foot. It took her hardly a second of time to make her cloak into a pillow and slip it under his head. As she lifted his shoulders he groaned again. “David,” she whispered, and then as no answer came she said in a fervent tone, “dear, dear David!” With that he sat up and laughed—he the grave, dignified parson who had so recently rebuked his people for levity and superstition. Gladys left him indignantly and began to remount the stairs, but lie called her back. "Can I assist you, Mr.Grlfflth?” No, no, not Mr. Griffith, my sweet Gladys. lam your ‘dear David’ from now henceforth, or here I stay the captive of the sweetest pain by which every man was slain. Take me or leave me, lam yours.” “And shall Trelawney die? “And shall Trelawney die? Then thirty thousand Cornishmen Will know the reason why!” But he didn’t die. He came out of the hole into which superstition had led him, leaning on the merciful arm of Gladys, and though he walked with a limp he managed to go home with the happy girl, and made a slight sensation when he entered with her into the midst of the fun and frolic which was raging as .furiously as ever. And the Cornishmen never asked the reason why. They merely looked at the pair with a quizzical regard and condensed all speculation into the dry remark: “Parson munna seen a witch.” Luther Laflin Mills, the Chicago criminal lawyer, says that when lie was a boy he frequently accompanied his father, who was a wholesale merchant, on collecting tours through the northwest. They had to travel by wagon, and as his father would have large sums of money about him it was often a problem where they could safely put up for the night. “My boy,” the old man used to say, “it is safe to stay at a house where there are flowers in the window.”

A SHIP'S LAUNCH.

First Preparation! When the Keel Blocks Are Laid. It has often been said that man begins to die the moment tlrnt he In-gins I to live. It might also lie said that a ; ship begins to lie launched the moment [ she begins to lie built. The first thing j in the actual construction is to arrange i the keel-blocks on which the ship is to rest while she is building. They must , be placed at certain distances apart, and each must lie a little higher than ! its neighlior nearer tlie water. These blocks are usually of the stoutest oak. and are placed from two to three feet apart. They must have a regular inclination, or the ship cannot lie launched. In vessels like the St. Louis the incline is about one half an inch in height to a foot iu length. In smaller vessels it is often more than one inch to the foot. Larger vessels have so much weight that a sharp incline is not as necessary as with smaller ones. The keel of tlie ship is laid on these blocks, and its fast as,the sides of the vessel are built up great props are placed against tliesi to make sure that by no accident will tlte vessel topple over. At length the hull of the vessel is completed. Then it is that tlie launching apparatus is prepared. This '■<insists of two parts, one that remains fixed oil tlie ground, and one that glides into the water with the ship. The part that goes into the water is tincradle. It is that part in which tinhull of the vessel rests snugly, and probably that is why it is called it cradle. When tin* time comes tor the launch, a long row of blocks is built under each side of tin* ship at an equal distance from the keel-blocks and of tin* same inclination. On these blocks rest first the stationary “ways.” These consist of broad planks of oak. from three to four feet wide, capable of sustaining a weight of from two to two and one half tons to the square foot. On top of these ways are tlie “sliding ways,” of nearly tlie snihe breadth, and between the two the tallow is placed. A narrow cleat runs along the edge of the stationary ways, so Unit the sliding ways shall not slip off as they carry the ship along. Above the sliding ways is what is called the “packing." This consists of pieces of timber packed close against the curving sides of the vessel to hold it firm to the sliding ways beneath. The curves in the hull vary so much that it would be impossible to fit the sliding ways to them, and so, by means of packing tlie ship is fitted to the ways instead. Tinpacking and the sliding ways const! tute the cradle, and it is fastened to the ship by stout ropes. Along its length, at intervals of about eight ecu inches, are big wedges, tin- points of which are inserted between the sliding ways and the packing. A rope about tlx- thickness of a clothes-line runs from wedge to wedge so that none may be lost when they float into the water.

We are now ready for the launch. Tallow tobjthe thickness of about an inch hate been spread between the ways as they were put in position, nearly sixty barrels being necessary for a ship like tlie St Louis. Tlie cradle sets snugly against the ship's bottom. Tlie vessel, however, is still resting on the keel-blocks. Tlie task now is to transfer the ship from these keel-blocks to the launching supports, and to takeaway the keel-blocks. Then when tlie weight of the ship rests on the launching-ways alone all that is necessary is to saw away the "solepiece" at the bow. where tlie stationary and sliding-ways are fastened together and the ship by her own weight will probably slide into the water, if she needs a start, several “jacks” using hydraulic power are ready beneath the keel to lift her a trifle and give her a push.

A Scout's Marvellous Faculty.

Every one wlio lias spent much time j upon the frontier has heard of Hie remarkable faculty of Dolores Sanchez, the fatuous trailer of New Mexico and Southern Arizona. So eminent an authority as General Nelson A. Miles, who has had unusual | personal knowledge of the work of trailers and scouts, is quoted as saying that some of Sanchez’s accomplish-| meats are more than extraordinary j and that his powers bore on the mythical. General Huger tells the following story of an experience with this remarkable man to show the skill of an expert scout: “I was once in pursuit of a lot of Comanches, who had been followed, scattered, and the trail abandoned by a company of so-called Texas Rangers. On the eighth day after tlie scattering Sanchez found the trail from a single shod horse. When we were fairly into tlie rough, rocky Guadaloupe Mountains he stopped, dismounted, and picked up from Hie root of a tree the four shoes of the horse ridden by the Indian. “With a grim smile he handed the shoes to me and said that the Indian had tried to hide the trail. For six days we journeyed over the roughest mountains, turning and twisting in apparently the most objectionable way, not a man iu the whole command being able to discover, sometimes for hours, a single mark by which Sanchez might direct himself. Sometimes I lost patience and demanded that lie show me what lie was following. 'l’oco tiempo’ (pretty soon). he would abtraetedly answer, and, iu a longer or shorter time, show me the clear-cut footprints of tlie horse in the soft bank of a mountain stream or point with his long wiping-stick to some other most unmistakable 'sign.' Sanchez led us, following the devious windings of this trail for over 150 miles, and. only three or four times dismounting so as to more closely examine the ground, he finally brought me to where the Indians had reunited.”

Doctoring Cut Flowers.

"There are a great many dodges that the public never dream of in connection with the enormous sale of but-ton-holes and bouquets. For instance, we often give a perfume by artificial means to the flowers we sell,” said a florist to a writer in Answers. "The greater number of doctored flowers are either those which are fading, and ‘off-color,“ or those which usually have no scent at. all. In the ease of the former the flowers are daily dipped in a weak solution of sal ammoniac. which, for a time, revives them in the most marvellous way. “But the chief doctoring is with the

flowers which, as a rule, have little or no scent. First of all these are put into a metal box with ice, and then by a very simple process they are subjected to a continuous current of carbonic add charged with perfumes of the required vivacity. There is an immense amount of profit made by scenting those violets which in the order of naturp have no perfume. ‘fn certain districts prodigious quantities of violets having no scent are to lie found, while the naturally odorous ones are quite rare by comparison. But hi first-class florists’ places no unscented ones are sold, for an alcoholic solution fixed by means of glycerin is used in the case of the scienless ones we receive. It is the same with other ttowers.except that some other appropriate scent is used instead of the violet, of course.

Cultivating Bacteria.

To the uniustructed mind, it may suiack of absurdity to say that at no distant day tlie bacteria of butter and cheese will tie cultivated as we now cultivate other commercial products. A writer on this subject says: "The fermentation of cream and of cheese is already as tutu-h of an art as the fermentation of mail in tin* manufacture of beer. In the curing of tobacco tlie same activity is discovered, and the day is not far distant when commerce in high bred tobacco -bacteria will be an accomplished fact. In short, we may look forward to the day when tlie bacteria active in agriculture will lie carefully cultivated, and the bacterial herd book will lie found along with those of the Jersey cow and the Norman horse.” On a par with this is the sterilization of products, which process is necessary lief ore the thorough bred bacteria is introduced.

Uncle Alien Advises.

"1 notice, my dear." said Uncle Allen Sparks to one of his nieces, “that when you have a toothache it's the worst you ever had. The young man who was here last night was the ugliest fellow you ever saw. According to your statement a little while ago, it took you forever and a day to learn how to make a sponge cake. The house, you say. is full of flies. You have just declared ilia ttlie room is as hot as an oven, you have the dreadfulesl headache you ever had in your life, and I he boy across the road is making the feurfulest racket a boy ever made. Don't you see, my child, tliis sort of thing won't do? Some time in your life you will really have an experience requiring the superlative degree to describe it, and you won't In- able to convey any idea of it. You will have used up all your adjectives. That is ail. You can go to thumping tlie piano again.”

Postal Telegraphy.

A well known inventor and electrician anouiices liis firm conviction that it is time to get out of the telegraph its full working value, and that it ought now to be used for tlie carriage of the mails, not in the physical sense, lint literally, all the same. He believes that 40.000 or 50,000 letters of about fifty words each between Chicago and New York could every day be profitably he sent over a couple of copper wires at a rate of twelve to fifteen cents a-piece. Thousands of such letters now pay twelve cents in the mail to insure the saving of half an hour after a journey of twenty-four hours. The plan is based necessarily on "machine telegraphy,” which has been on trial before and not gone very far.

An Odd Ordinance.

Councilman Towle, of Oakland, Cal., recently Introduced and engineered to second reading an ordinance compelling all bathers within the city limits of that town to tie up their heads in a sack while bathing. The ordinance provides that all bathers must wear “a shirt or jersey covering the entire upper part of the body except the arms. The ordinance passed to the printers, and it was the often-abused intelligent compositor who discovered that if it passed the Council every bather in Oakland would be compelled by law to bag his head. The ordinance was reported back, and is to come up for final disposition this week.

Valuable Remedy For Burns.

Clmnce led to the discovery in the Paris hospital recently of what is claimed to be a valuable remedy for burns. A surgeon who was using picric acid as an antiseptic accidentally dropped tire on his hand and proved that he experienced no pain from the burn. This set him to thinking and experimenting, and he found that wounds healed with a solution of picric acid did not blister, and healed readily in the course of four or five days. The cheapness of picric acid and the ease with which it may be pi’epared ami kept in readiness, make it a most valuable remedy, aud it is to bo hoped that, further experiments will establish its efficacy.

A Victim of Superstition.

Superstition reigns tyrannically In many rural districts iu Italy. Lately a lortuno-toller prophesied to a young farmer and ltis sister, living near Noto, Sicily, that on the evening bet'oi-e a certain feast day both would die a violent death. This so affected the minds of tlie poor dupes that they became insane and rushed shrieking through the streets. A brother of these unfortunates then came somehow to the conclusion that the calamity was duo to the witchcraft of their stepmother, and in a fit of blind rage killed tlie poor woman with a hoe.

Deer "Skinners."

Langs of “skinners,” men who slaughter deer wholesale solely l'or the hides, are again at work in tlie mountains of Curry county. Or. A hunting party just returned from the region relate taut it was not unusual to come across a dozen or more carcasses of deer in the course of a day. left to rot by tlie law violators, it is estimated that more than 700 deer have been killed in that section this summer solely for tlieir hides. The “skinners” find a ready sale for the hides, and make much money at the wretched business.

THE LIME KILN CLUB.

Brother Gardner In the Garden of Eden. When the sound of the triangle had called the meeting to order Brother Gardner slowly arose and looked up and down the aisles and said: “If Calamity Bates am in dis hall dis earnin’ he will please step dis way.” Calamity was there and he promptly stepped out and advanced to the president’s desk. “Brudder Bates. ” 'continued the president as he looked down on him, “Yo’ went ober to Brudder Shin's cabin t’other night to pass a soshul hour. “Yes, sah, ” was the reply. ‘ ‘Arter sum lettle talk ’boul free silber, sound money, an' de treasury resarve yo’ swung de conversashun round to de ga’den of Eden. While Mrs. Shin sot dar wid her mouf open and Samuel was a soakin' his feet to cure de cold in his head, yo’ went on to tell what you knowed 'bout dat gaden. Yo put de land at 100 acres. Yo got in a ribber, two springs, a lake, and a grotto. Yo had peaches ' an’ pears 'an plums an’ grapes an apples by de cart load. Yo' had birds singin’ and possums runnin bout. Yo’ had chickens ready to b 3 boiled, fried an’ baked. Yo’ had Adam whislin’ an’ Eve singin’, and all was happiness an joy. ” ‘ Yes. sah, ”replied Brother Bates, as he wondered what was coming. “Brudder Shin hain’t much of a hand to git excited ober ga’dens, as yo’ kin tell by his own. but yo’ went on so dat he finally got roused up an’ axed yo’ whar’ dis place was. Kin yo’ member whar, yo’ located it ?’’ ‘‘l kin, sah. Dat ga’den was in Cuba, an ' Ize bin right past de place fo’ times.” ‘‘Didn’t see Adam or Eve ’round dar, did yo’ ?” “Dey was dead, sah.’J ‘ ‘Wall, when Brudder Shin reckoned dat Ga den was in Italy, what did yo’ dun do ? Called him names an’ finally hit him on de jaw ! Brudder Bates, I want to remark a few expreshuns toyo’ an’ I want ’em to surge right, ober yo’r libin’ soul like waves, rollin' down Lake Erie. In de first place, yo 'was jest as wrong as Brudder Shin bout de locashun of | de Ga’den. In de next place, it am j none of yo’r bi/ness whar’ it was,how big it was, or what it looked like ! ‘‘Yes, sah, ” was the reply. Mebbe dar was a Gaden an’ Mebbe not. Doan’ consarn yo ’ neither way. Ifsome white man, who hain’t got nuffin’ to do an’ lots of money to do it on wants to go spoonin’ ’round to find whar' de Ga'den of Eden was, dat's his own bizness. Yo’is simply a common black man. Y’o’ airn ’bout six dollars a week, an’ yo’ am de sadder of fo’ pairs oi twins. It cums mighty hard fur yo’ to pay rent an’ git three meals a day. Y’o’r debts figger up mo’ dan yo’ kin save in 6,000 y’ars. De idea of yo’r foolin’ away time an’ hittin' folks on de jaw ’bout de Garden of Eden am 'bout de biggest fool thing I eber heard of!” “Doan’l want to know all ’bout it sah?” protested Brother Bates. “What fur ?” “Fur to git knowledge. ” “What yo’ gwine to do wid knowledge?” How am knowledge bout sunthin’ way back 6,000 y’ars ago gwine to pay yo’r house rent an’ keep shoes on yo’r wife’s feet? If yo’ knowed whether Adam could jump six feet or ten, would dat buy codfish fur dem fo’ pa’r o’ twins? If yo’ kpowed whether Eve had red ha’r or black, would it help yo’ to pay me back dem two dollars yo’ borrowed ober two y’ars ago?” “N—no, sah, ” stammered Brother Bates, beginning to weaken. ” “Of, co’se it wouldn’t! It would \ jest be a leetle mo’ wind power fur ! argyment. It hain’t yo’r buzness nor my bizness,-nor any odder black j man’s bizness to keer a continental cocked hat whether de Ga’den of Eden was on a side-hill or down in a \ valley; whether it took a thousand y’ars to build de Pyramids of Egypt, j or only fifty; whether dis yere airth , was all kivered wid water six times or only twice; whether de planets i am inhabited or all grown up to scrub: \yhether dis globe was made in six days or 10,000 y’ars. None of us want to go back furder dan to remember what debts we owe an’ why we dun han’t paid up. Our bizness am to look ahead. If we knowed a man who ’s gwine to let out de job of whitewashing’ 200 feet of bo’d fence it consarns us a heap mo’ den Noah's ark eber need to. Brudder Bates!” “Yes, sah,” “Yo’ go an’ sot down, an’ sot j down hard! I shall fine y0’53,850 fur discussin’ religus matters contrary to de by laws, an’ I want dis to be a caution to all other members as well. ’Bout half of our cull’d folks’ religun consists in openin’our moufs an’ gulpin’ down de past, an’a ,good sheer of de odder half am devoted to argufyin’ ’bout what we doan’ know, can’t know an’ doan’ want to know ’bout de present an’ fucher. What we want in gineral an’ in pertickler am less religun an’ mo’ gittin’up up airly in de mawnin’ —less Ga’den of Eden an’ mo’ ’taters in de honse less Adam and Eve an’ ino’ bacon an’ codfish. We will now open one ofde alley winders to let dat smell of burnin' wool git out of de hall an’ den purceed to tackle de programme of reg’lar bizness.” “Would an appeal be in order at disjuncture, sah?” asked the Rev. Penstock as ne arose. “What sort of an appeal?”queried the president in reply. “An’appeal from yo’r decishun, sah. 'Pears to me dat if de members of dis club wish to discuss religus subjicks in deirown homes de rules an’ regulashuns can't stop ’em.” “Do yo’ wish to appeal from my decishun, sah?” “Why, I reckon ” “Hold on a minit, Brudder Penstock 1” said Brother Gardner as he began removing coat, vest, cuffs and collar. ‘ ‘Now, sah, go ahead wid dat appeal 1” “I—l hain’t got no appeal to make!” replied Penstock as he sat down. “Oh! Yo’hain’t! An appeal am alius in order in dis club. P’raps some odder members wants to kick again de decishun of dis cha’r?”

No other member did. For sixty seconds Paradiso hall was so quiet that Elder Toots’ bunion could be heard to ache. Then. as he proceeded to resume his garments the president said: "I doan’ say dat members can’t discuss religus subjicks at home, but when such discushuns result in somebody bein’ hit on de jaw den I shall take a hand in. Brudder Watkins, riz up dat winder back of yo’. and Brudder Shin, yo’put sum lemonpeel on de stove to kill off de microbes floatin’ around us.”

Supreme Moment In a Launch.

That a launch is a matter of mathematics, as well as of great skill and labor is shown by the fact that the man of science who lias the matter in charge always makes a set of calculations showing the strain on the ship and its precise condition at practically every foot of the journey down the ways. If a boat should get in the way, or if it should take an unusual length of time to knock out the keel-blocks, or if any one of half-a-dozen things should cause serious delay, the scientific man knows just how long he tan wait, aud just how far the limit of safety extends. There is always one supreme moment in a launch, and it is at a time that escapes the average spectator. It is when the vessel gets fairly well into the water. This is when an important factor known as the “moment of buoyancy” comes into play. If you can imagine a vessel sliding down an incline without any water into which to drop you can see that the vessel would tip down suddenly at the end which has left the ways, anil would rise at the end still on the incline. But really, In successful launches, tjie stern of the vessel is gradually lifted up by the water, aud this throws the wejight forward on that part of the ship still resting on the ways. The force of the water is called the “moment of buoyancy," and the natural tendency of the ship to drop to the bottom of the stream is called the “ moment of woight.”.Yow the moment of buoyancy must always be greater that the moment of weight, but it must not be very much greater, for if it were it would throw too much weight forward ou the part of the ship still on the ways and might break them down, or injure the plates or keel of the ship. When the great English battle-ship Ramillies was launched, this did really happen, and so great was the strain near the bow that parts of the cradle were actionally pushed right Into the bottom of the vessel. It is this danger of disaster that causes the scientific launcher to make the most careful calculations, as to the conditions surrounding the ship at every foot of her journey into the water.

All Are Without Fingers.

In a Lincolnshire village in England lives a family who suffer under the curious deformity of being fingerless. This peculiarity. says Pearson’s Weekly, does not appear to he one of those freaks of nature which may appear in one individual and not be transmitted to the next generation. From what can be learned, the singularity has existed in the family so far as history or tradition extends, and there seems at present no signs of its dying out, as the grandchildren are as devoid of fingers as their grandsire. The hands of this remarkable family present the appearance of having had the fingers amputated or chopped off roughly and unevenly below the second joint, leaving a short stump. There is no nail or hard substance, and were it not for the absence of anything like a cicatrice a casual observer would conclude that the defect was due to an accident; but, as though nature had attempted to compensate for the abseuee of fingers, the thumbs are abnormally large and strong. The family are in other respects fully endowed by nature and do uot appear to suffer the disadvantages the absence of fingers might be expected to entail. One of the daughters, aged 20, can write, sew, kuit, and is in every way as dexterous audaeeomplished as other girls of her age and station. When asked if she “did not find it awkward to be fingerless,” she replied: “No! If you had never had fingers, you would not know you needed them.” The only drawback that seems to be occasioned is the curiosity the absence of fingers evokes from strangers.

Absorbable Tissue For Wounds.

J. Lustok has patented a process in Germany under which the muscular coating of the intestines of, animals is divested of both the interior and exterior layers of mucous membrane, and then digested in a pepsin solution until the muscular fibres are half digested. This is then treated with tannin and gallic acid. The result is a tissue which can take the place of the natural skin, and which, when laid on the wound, is entirely absorbed during the healing process.

Sedentary Occupations.

A writer in La Medicine Modern asserts that sedentary occupations pro dispose to tuberculosis more than any others. Italian and English statistics show, he says, that there are 459 deaths per 1000 from this disease among students, seminarians and young clergymen; while farmers, boatmen and mountaineers enjoy almost complete immunity from it.

The Dog Found His Roll.

R. ,T. Storck. of Keyport, X. .T., lost a large sum of money in a roll a few days ago. Search for it was in vain, and Dr. Storck gave up all hopes of ever seeing it again, when he was astonished to see his dog running towards him and wagging his tail with the money in his mouth. The roll was intact. Where the dog found it never will be known.

Dyeing Grasses:

Dyes for grasses are prepared as follows: For red. boil together in warm water some logwood and alum. For pink use logwood and ammonia. After drying tlie grass dip it into weak gumwater. so as to keep it together nicely. The pampus grass is quite easy to treat as above.

THE JOKER’S BUDGET.

JESTS AND YARNS BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Confidence--What She Lost--A Charming Result-- Reminded of Home--Etc<, Etc. WHAT SHE LOST. She —Did Maude lose her heart when you proposed to her ? He—No; I think she must have lost her head; she said no. CHARMING' RESULT. A—Y'ou had luck with your play, dear boy: now you will be able to pay your debts. B—Oh, it’s not necessary now; niy*#editors keep all my notes for the sake of my autograph. REMINDED OF HOME. Cowboy Pete—Glad to git home, shore. Lariat Lew—. Missed yer boss up tiiere in the city, eh? "You’re right; was awfully strong reminded of him one day, tlioush.” ••How was that?” “Fell down four flights of sta ; rs in the hotel! ” HEAVILY HANDICAVI'ED. Jones—l’ve always been sorry for one man who didn’t have au opportunity to see much of the world. Brown—Who was that ? Jones—Poor Atlas; he had it on his back. NEGLECTED. ' Y isitor—Well, Johnnie. I suppose your father thinks the twins are something wonderful ? Little Johnnie—Y r es, but (in a confidential whisper) I could lick ’em both, easy: WITn EMPHASIS. Neighbor—Bertie, your mother is calf ing you. Bertie—Y r es’um, I know it; but I fancy she don’t want me very bad. Neighbor—She has called you seven times already. Bertie—Yes, 1 know; but she hasn't called “Albert” yet, SERIOUSLY AFFLICTED. Jinks—Our friend Fobsom is extremely short sighted. Oculist—He ought to come to me to be treated. Jinks—l’m afraid you can’t help him. Oculist—Why not? Jinks—lt isn’t that kind: I asked him to lend me $lO and he told me he couldn’t see it. PROGRESS OF WISDOM. “Bunkins, I guess, is about the Smartest man of his years in this community,” said the citizen who observes. ‘ ‘Knows a great deal, doe 3 he?” “Knows a great deal? I should say so; why, sir, that man kuows almost as much as his 19 year old daughter who is in the high school.” STERN PARENTAL BKSOLVE. “Father,” said Sammy, “the teacher says you ought to take metoau optician’s; he says I’ve got astigmatism ” “Got what?” “Astigmatism,” “Well, if he don’t thrash that out of you,” roared Mr. Wipedunks, “1 will.'” APPETIZING. Minnie—Mr. Y’absley says that you set the most appetizing luncheons he ever tasted. Mamie—lndeed? Minnie—Y”es, indeed, lie said that he could eat more after one of your luncheons than he could after anyone else’s. OUTRAGEOUS. Greatest Champion—l’ll meet you anywhere. lip to lip aud tooth to tooth Greater Champion —1 accept! “And I’ll bet you $20,000 I knock you out •” “Y’ou brute!” Are you talking of introducing personal violence in a modern prize fight?” A NARROW ESCAPE. Weary Watkins—Wot’s de matter, pardner? Did she throw water in yer face? Hungry Huggins—Only on me face; only on me face; I had the presence of mind to shut me mouth when I seen it coming. lIIS INFIRMITY. A recruit, wishing to evade service, was brought up for medical inspection, and the doctor asked him: “Have you any defects?” “Y’es, sir; lam shortsighted. “How can you prove it?” “Easily enough, doctor. Do you ee that nail up yonder in the wall?’’ ‘•Yes.” “Well, I don’t.” TRACES OF INSANITY, Insurance Examiner—Has there been any insanity in your family? Mrs. De Avnoo—Weil, my sister married a man who hadn’t a cent.

Nosegays of the Past.

Most things move in cycles, and contemporaneously with the reappearance of our grandmothers’ sleeves and petticoats the taste for old-fashioned gardens is revived. There is a fresh call for the perennials and annuals which enlivened the borders of long ago, aud those who are fortunate enough to still possess these old-time gardens show with pride the long-treasured plants which have bloomed for so many years. We are apt to think that we know a good deal more about flowers than our progenitors, but the fact is there was, perhaps, more variety than there is to day in many of their collections. Much time is given now to the development of perfect specimens and to the cultivation of new varieties, both in greenhouse and garden, but if we were to look over some of the venerable catalogues we should find that if we planted all that our grandsires did we should have our hanfis and gardens full, without anything new. A garden guide printed in 1806 gives a list of 400 hardy perennials, with 120 annuals.

Lilies and Hogs.

Talk about casting pearls before swine! In Louisiana the fair lilies that grow in the bayous, with hearts of gold breaking into freedom through the purity of snowy white petals, to be kissed by the sun, and which, when loosened from their moorings by passing boats, float idly down stream on restful green leaves, are gathered by farmers and fed to hogs 1 At Morgan City the lilies are ■ taken from the bay in quantities and given to stock. One authority says the lily bulb is very fattening. Lilies have been given to the world to teach purity and make human hearts glad with their beauty and perfume. That is their mission in sentiment. Commercially the lilies —with their stems and brcal leaves—are valuable because they hogs.