Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 8 November 1895 — Page 6

LEO IS FAILING FAST.

ALAJfeMING REPORT OF THE POPE'S CONDITION. >JOdiction Blade that He will NotUr* I • Winter Out—How the Pontile tym Are Spent-Vitality Centered a Hie Brain. Day with the Pope. Although it is not true that the Pope k dying, it is learned that his strength has rapidly declined during the last few months. His entourage is of the opinion that he will not survive the winter, and it is added that -all his vitality seems to be centered in his brain. In speaking of the pontiff’s falling health, It is well to give a brief review of his daily life. The Pope usually rises at 7 o’clock, his chamber door having been previously unlocked by

LEO XIII. AS HE IS TO-DAY.

his faithful body servant, Centra. At night Leo XIII. locks the door of his bedroom with a key which never passes out of his hands, a second door being locked by Centra when his holiness Is In bed. The Pope is thus practically a prisoner at night, but Centra Is generally within call. This servant la a person of the greatest influence at tbe Vatican; the pontiff relies upon him implicitly, and his trust is well placed. As soon as the Pope Is dressed by his valet in his white woolen cassock and wadded silk gown, he recites the prayers in his bedroom, passing directly afterward into a neighboring

THE POPE’S BEDROOM. THE POPE’S DINING-ROOM. THE POPE'S STUDY.

apartment, which has been arranged as an oratory. Here he is robed in sacerdotal garments by his private; chamberlains, Mgr. Cagiano da Azevedo and Mgr. Bisletti. Mass is then celebrated, to which no strangers are admitted save on Sundays. The service occupies three-quarters of an hour, at the end of which time Leo XIII. returns to hla bedroom, where Centra brings him the first of the numerous meals of soup and ehocolate upon which he sustains a body described by a French writer as “so thin and meager that It seems to have escaped from one of the passions with which Crivelli and Mantegna decorated the walls of the Vatican.” If he has decided to give audience to any •f the numerous pilgrims always in Rome, he receives them in the library after his frugal dejeuner. Supporting himself against a long table In the middle of the room, the Pope talks for some minutes with each of his visitors, asking their name, their country, and the history of their family. Although his manner of speaking is slow. Its tone betrays the keen interest he bestows upon the veriest trifle. In addition, hls memory is marvelous. He never forgets a face, and remembers the name of every Roman Catholic who has done the church signal service. To American and to English visitors he talks of the well-known men of their countries with the same certaiflty of his facts that would mark his conversation with one of his compatriots of Carplneto. In the course of the morning Cardinal Rampolla, the pope’s secretary of state; brings his master the political news of the day. This being discussed ami arranged, if it be Tuesday or Friday, the household accounts are gone Into and paid. The expenses at the Vatican are very heavy, one authority estimating them at £I,OOO a day, but, when the Immense number of cardinals, cfaam- ~ berlalns, servants and the personnel of the many papal institutions who live within the walls of the palace are remembered, It does not seem to be an outrageous cost The pope Is a keen man of business; not one Item of expenditure escapes his eye, and he pays the bills from a coffer the key of which never leaves him. In the matter of carrying keys about with him. the pope Ars reminded more than one person of Goetbe, who invariably had hls keys, especially those of his library, hung round his waist like a gaoler. At midday the audience is given to crowpei heads or distinguished men. If the visitor is a sovereign the pope receives him in the throne room, surrounded by his cardinals, who retire as soon as the potentate has been ihtroduced. Lunch of the simplest fare follows, the menu consisting chiefly of eggs. This ended, the pope takes the air in the gardens of the Vatican In a ear-, riage, being carried to the garden in • chair through the galleries of the Bbrary. Escorted by two gewUrmm .

•rr r ** . v i '<r ■ at ynahtf hy a» officer, the carriage) yraaaaAa a* a alow trot through tha dsMama following on foot, as best thag an, aatll a cascade overlooking St > agate reached. Here the pope aHgfcta nd leaning on the arm of a Hhamhartala, or supporting himself with a caaa, Inspects a vine planted fay hiawilf at the foot of the Citta Leonine tower, the new battlements upon which have recently been added by the architect Veapi guana by the pope’s order* 'Hria vine is said to be dearer to the pope than all the wonders of the Vatican. He gathers its fruit with bis own hands, and last year it yielded a fair quality of wine. Next to the vine the cultivation of roses is the pope’s greatest pleasure. Hia holiness frequently spends the better part of his day in the tower, reserving the upper story for himself. Ka one Is allowed to enter it save hlmself, and ifcumJd cardinals or princes desire ursrext audience, they are received In a lower room luisg with red silk. Leo, despite hia advanced age, takes Utfla rant, and works as industriously in the cool upper chamber of the Leontoa tower during the hot hours of the Roman, afternoon as he does in his study during the morning. From his windows ho can see the city, lying beyond tha walks and alleys of tbe Vatican gardens, la the slumberous beat tier upon tier, with the San Angelo fronting the Tiber, a relic of the temporal power once wielded by the pontiffs

With sunset the pope’s airing Is over. As day slowly fades from the sky the chair-hearers In their red liveries appear at the door of the tower and carry him back to his carriage, and thence through the Raphael chambers and the galleries of the library to his private apartments, away from his vine and his roam, from the sunlight and fresh air, to the gloominess and seclusion of the palace. Having recited the rosary tat company with one of his domestic prelates the tireless pope sits down at fate writing table and works until Centra attends him to bed, and the long day la done. Such Is the major portion of the pontiff’s life.

Origin of the Bell.

Tboerfagfaof the religious significance of the bell Is not tar to seek. Primeval mandteeorered that noise would frighten off tronbleso moor dangerous animals. There am plenty of stories of how beer* for e*ample, were put to flight by unearthly yells. I have often seen

cattle stampeded in that way in the West When, the noise is unusual few animals can resist its terrifying power, especially if they are taken unawares. Primeval man, governed by his imagination, thus came to regard certain notaesi as having a supernatural character, and so Introduced them into his worship. As he advanced in knowledge he Improved his means of making them until he developed the bell. He discovered also that noise is a source of enthusiasm, and for that reason he employed It In his worship. Many a time at a revival or camp meeting I have heard the preacher exhort those at fl»e mourners’ bench and around it to pray louder and sing louder, himself girtag the example, all for the sake of enthusiasm. The bell In worship, Pagan aa well as Jewish and Christian. Is traceable to the effect which noise has an the mind of man and animal, If the animal has any mind.—Pittsburg Times.

He Knew.

The teacher of the Sunday school does was telling the little boys about temptation, and showing how it soinetimescame in the most attractive attire. Shewedae an illustration the paw of a cat “Now.” said she, “you have all seen the pa w of a cat It Is as soft as velvet, isn’t »r “Yesesn,” from the class. “And yon have seen the paw of a dogr “Teaexa.” “Wen, although the cat’s paw seems like velvet there is, nevertheless, concealed he H something that hurts. What is ft?” No answer. “The dog bites,” said the teacher, “when he is in anger; but what does thecal dU ?” “Scratches,” replied the boy. “Ceneet,” said the teacher, nodding her head approvingly. “Now what has the eat got that the dog hasn’t?” “Whiskers!” said a boy on the back ■eat And the titter that ran round the *3aas brought the lesson to an end.— Boston Courier.

To Rest the Eyes.

A medical journal says that in the eentianed use of the eyes, in such work as sewtag, type-setting, bookkeeping, reading and studying, ,the saving point is in breaking off work at short intervals and looking around the room. This may he practiced every ten or fifteen ijaftrptea. By doing this the muscular tension Is relieved, the eyes ar* rested, and the Mood supply becomes better.

The Purse,

Far several centuries the purse was always worn fastened to the girdle. A cut-puree got its name from the fact Oat rather than take the time to loose the paw from the belt, where it was saanariLhC buckles, he cut the straps. .

MALICIOUSLY FALSE.

REPUBLICAN MISREPRESENTATION OF CLEVELAND. New York Platform Makes a Groundless Charge—Real Enemies of American Industries Are McKinley and Hia Followers. The Real Enemies of Industry. The platform adopted by the New York State Republican Convention makes the silly protectionist charge that President Cleveland is an enemy of American industry. This groundless assertion Is repeated by the New York Press, which claims that it is justified by the President’s tariff message of 1887, and that in a speech delivered in 1892 President Cleveland again declared himself opposed to the manufacturing interests of the country. There is not the slightest excuse for those malicious inventions of the Republicans. The pretense that opposition to granting special favors to monopolies means enmity to industry is too absurd to be believed by even the credulous followers of McKinley. Instead of atacking our industries, President Cleveland has always objected to protection on the ground that high tariffs hamper industry and injure both employer and workingmen. The strongest indictment which lie brought against the McKinley tariff was the undeniable fact that it imposed heavy burdens on the raw materials of many important Industries, thus checking the establishment and growth of factories in which those raw materials might have been converted into finished good:?. Nor did he fail to point out that tile result of trade-resitricting tariffs is to lessen foreign commerce by decreasing the opportunities for our industries to find a market for their surplus products. It was because of his position in favoring the abolition of high taxation on the of industry that the business men of the country joined with the farmers and workers in electing him President by a sweeping majority over tlie protectionist candidate. The real enemies of American industry are William McKinley and his superstitious followers, who want to tie the manufacturers hand and foot with restrictive laws, and to restore a policy which but a short time ago plunged the country into poverty and suffering. Not satisfied with the ruin wrought in 1893 and the first half of 1894, these agitators are clamoring for another opportunity to again wreck the manufacturing Interests of the country. They make no concealment of their intention to check tlie prosperity of the woolen Industry by imposing heavy taxes on wool. They wish to shut out foreign iron ores, which are now so necessary to our Iron and steel manufacturers. They are resolved that our great furniture industry shall no longer have the benefit of free lumber. And so on through the list of industries.

Republicans would do well to stop talking about enmity to Industries. The people know that tlie Democratic po’icy means prosperity, while protection means shackles and burdens for b *rh trade and manufacturing. False charges against tlie tariff reform leader will not blind the public to the acts of the late Republican administration. v vy B. Harrison, Tariff Reformer. “It is plain here," says an Indianapolis dispatch to a Chicago Republican organ, “Mr. Harrison’s friends will refuse to shoulder any responsibility for tiie McKinley tariff, and in the event of his nomination by tbe next Republican convention the campaign will be made on ilie question of tariff reform largely.” Harrison among the tariff reformers! Saul among the prophets! The Indianapolis statesman may refuse to shoulder responsibility for the McKinley tariff, but he cannot shirk responsibility for his own utterances before he was President and during his Presidency. The country has not forgotten the ex-Prosident’s definition of the “ideal condition.” He told the farmer's when he was swinging around the circle, that this was the condition in which they would carry their produce to the factory in the farm wagon and carry home the manufactured product And he professed to be in favor of a tariff which would bring about that condition. Such a tariff would distance even that of Mexico. It would have to be made practically prohibitory and applied not only on every Stale line but every county line, and not only on every county line but every township line. That would be the Ideal tar ff to produce the ideal condition. Perhaps it is the question of tariff reform along these lines upon which the campaign will be made in the event of the nomination of Harrison next year by tlie Republicans. If Mr. Harrison is in favor of any more liberal sort of tariff reform he has never made the fact known since his appearance on the stage of national politics a quarter of a century ago.

A Forced Issue. One or two of our Republican contemporaries seem to And it necessary to remind the party in this State with which they are connected that the main issue is the tariff issue, and that it is undesirable to have the discussion switched off from that track and devoted to a variety of State concerns. We dare say that those who are stumping the State In the Republicau interest find It necessary to discuss those subjects which seem likely to interest their hearers, and that if under such circumstances the tariff is practically given the go-by it i.s because these orators are discovering that, so far as popular interest is concerned, the tariff is distinctly a back number. They may, in a few perfunctory sentences, affirm the need of a restoration of McKinleyism, but having done this, and having noticed the apathetic manner in which such statements are received by the audience, the clever stump orators who have their hands, so to speak, on the pulse of their hearers, find that to continue on this,theme is to run the risk of having themselves voted bores; hence, to the grief of some of our contemporaries, who sleep, eat, drink and live in the atmosphere of protection, they let the subject drop and take up a number of very nmcli more attractive themes.— Boston Herald.

Frank, Indeed. Chairman John R. Tanner has cut loose from Senator Cullom as a Presidential candidate. He says the dele-

gates from Illinois in tbe Republican national convention have for years “frittered away their strength for impossible favorite sons" (meaning CulIom), and that now they should unite with other great States not to secure a presidential candidate, but to “obtain recognition” of the President when elected.' The proposition is Intelliglblo in Us brutal force and audacity. Hereafter the vote of Illinois in Republican conventions is not to be at the disposal of Cnllom nor anybody else as a Presidential candidate, but is to be auctioned off to the best bidder for tbe offices and spoils of .the administration. That is frank, to say the least. Why Wheat Exports Have Been Small Protectionist papers are trying to make capital out of the fact that our exports of wheat have not increased in proportion to the exports of manufactured goods. With the usual Republican dishonesty they claim that the falling off In wheat shipments is due to the Wilson tariff, and that instead of opening up new markets for farm products the Democratic policy has had the contrary effect. It is hardly possible that any farmers can be run back to the support of the protection swindle by such shallow arguments. That the reduction of tariff duties has nothing whatever to do with the assured foreign demand for our wheat, must be evident to every one who knows anything of the conditions under which our surplus wheat goes abroad. These conditions are the size of the crops in other countries and the price in this country as compared with our competitors. Lower duties certainly did not make bigger crops In Europe, or lower prices for wheat in other countries. On the other hand, it is certain that protection does shut our wheat out of foreign markets. First, by the protection tariffs on wheat levied by France, Germany, Spain and other European nations. Another way in which protection injured our wheat growex-s was by depriving foreigners of our markets for their goods. Forced to sell in India, Russia and the Argentine Republic, the manufactured articles sold in this country previous to the adoption of the McKinley tariff, Great Britain and other nations naturally developed a trade in wheat with those countries. The result is that a large quantity of the wheat formerly supplied by the United States now comes from other sources. And this is a sample of how protection helps the farmer.

Canned Goods Industry Prosperous. President Seager of the Western Canned Goods Association reports that the past season has been an unusually active one for the canning business In this country. In quality as well as quantity this year’s pack of corn will be greatly superior to last year’s. Much larger quantities of both peaches and tomatoes have been canned in the East, and the quality is said to be excellent. Similar reports are made as to apples, peaches, beans, peas, cherries, berries and other fruits.

This satisfactory condition of an important industry is largely due to the Democratic reduction of 50 per cent in the tariff on tin plate. The immediate effects of the McKinley tariff have been tbe serious hampeilng of the canning Industry by the great increase in the cost of tin plate. At the same time the high tariff hard times, by decreasing the purchasing power of the people, caused a general falling off in the demand for the canners’ products. With cheaper tin, and with an improved market for their goods, owing to increased employment and higher wages, the business of the canners is booming. If they read Republican papers they will learn that they are being ruined by tariff reform. But protectionist theories are never disturbed by such little things as 1 facts.

Political Campaigns and Woolen Mills For campaign purposes the woolen industry is certainly in a very deplorable condition; but it is otherwise doing fairly well. The Springfield (Mass.) Republican, an excellent authority, says: “Sales of wool at Boston last week reached the unprecedented amount of 11,914,000 pounds. This does not represent the mills to be in a very depressed state. In fact, even the tariff calamity people say the woolen goods market is in a better position than It has been, and the mills are mostly doing well.”—Philadelphia Record. He Doesn’t Want to Hear of It. The shipment of five hundred tons of wash-metal product, which has just been made to England by the Youngstown Steel Company, “is the first consignment of a large order, and in sending the metal to the old country Youngstown’s industries competed against the world.” Youngstown, It may be added, is in the eastern part of Ohio. Unfortunately, it is so far from the State capital that Governor McKinley may never get to hear of this auspicious shipment.

Not Ruined as Promised. The Imports of hides and skins for the eight months ending with August show an increase of $13,000,000, or more than 100 per cent above the imports of the corresponding eight dipnths of 1894. This increase is due In part to the shortage in American hides, but It shows that the business of making shoes is going on with increasing activity under a tariff which McKinley thought would ruin the country.—New York World. w Bteppinjr Out of the Fryine Pan. ”” One of ex-President Harrison’s friends claim that the man who signed the McKinley hill was wholly blameless for any bad political effects resulting from it in 1892. Was Harrison a party manikin or was he President?—Springfield, INlpss., Republican.

Hard for McKinley to Explain. Every factory in Cleveland, Ohio, is working day and night to try to catch up w r ith the orders that they are behind on. This is a little rough on McKinley, and is an argument that it is aard fax, him to answer when he pleads for high protection.—Peoria Herald. , Volumes of Argument. Among the interesting contributions to the discussions of the day the continued volumes given out by the busy Industrial chimneys must not be overlooked.—Philadelphia Times.

WILLIAM MORRIS, POET, DESIGNER, AND PHILOSOPHER.

There Is no so little understood a man In the literary world of London as William Morris, who has been spoken of lately In connection with the post of poet laureate. It Is because he is so many-sided a man that he is known neither by his countrymen nor by Americans. If he were only a mere poet It would be easy to write of him—to make an estimate and properly classify him—but he is a larger figure in life than he Is in literature, and he therefore belongs to the future rather than to the present in the way of criticism. He is spoken of indiscriminately as a socialist, as a designer of furniture and wall paper, and as a poet. At Kelmscott House, Hammersmith, he designs

JOINED TO A CORPSE.

An Incident in the Life of Queen Victoria’s Mother-in-Law. Queen Victoria, who is one of the most uncompromising of reigning monarchs in her intolerance toward those who are divorced, is herself the daugh-ter-in-law of a princess who was divorced by her husband under singularly sensational circumstances. The mother of the prince consort was a lovely woman—it was from her that he inherited his good looks—and was the last descendant of the dukes of Gotha, whose dominions may be said to have constituted her marriage portion, since they were incorporated with those of Saxe-Coburg at the time of her union to the duke of that petty sovereignty. A drunkard and a profligate of the most coarse character, the duke treated his young and beautiful wife with disgraceful brutality; so much so, indeed, that the imperial diet felt constrained to interfere in her behalf, while the good people of Coburg showed their sympathy with their blonde and blueeyed duchess by smashing every window of the husband’s palace and by almost lynching his Polish favorite, Count Schlmbowski. At length the duchess could no longer bear her treatment and eloped from Coburg Nvith a young cavalry lieutenant of the name' of. Baron von Hanstein. The duke at once sued for a divorce, which r as granted, and the young mothfer iwas never permitted to see her children again until just before the Prince consort’s marriage, they being

brought up altogether by their grandmother. Soon after recovering her liberty, the duchess married the companion of her flight, and spent the remainder of her days partly in Switzerland apd partly in Paris, where she died. She bequeathed to her husband, for Whom she had previously obtained the title of Count of Poelzig, a considerable yearly income frtom the revenues of the duchy of Gotha on the one condition that he would never part with her corpse, not even for a single night, and stipulated that if he spent twenty-four hours under any roof than that where her embalmed remains happened to be, the pension should cease at once. So t))& unfortunate count carried the mummy of Queen Victoria’s mother-in-law around with him for years, long even after his marriage to another lady, unqne morning at Paris he was horrified by the discovery that the casket had disappeared. After much investigation he found that It had been stolen by emissaries from the court of Saxe-Co-burg-Gotha, with a view of having It

esthetic wall papers for which he is deservedly famous, and the Kelmscott Press, which he conducts, is noted for the beautiful books which it produces. An American woman, Emma Lazarus, wrote of him a few years ago: “For himself he eschews wealth and luxury, which are within easy reach of his versatile and brilliant talents, in order that for a few at least of his brother men he may rob toil of its drudgery, servitude of its sting, and poverty of Its horrors.” Though he seems to be set nowadays on winning laurels as a designer and publisher, William Morris has a long and brilliant record as a poet His first book of verse, “The Defense of Guinevere and Other Poems,”! was published as far back as 1858.

decently laid to rest, and as the pension was continued he had no reason whatsoever to regret the theft

MRS. PEARY.

Wife of the Famoas Arctic Kxplorer Talks of. Their Polar Voyage. Mrs. Peary, wife of the famous tic explorer, declares herself as having had more than enough of the polar regions, and is determined that her husband shall never repeat his travels in those frigid lands. When asked what experience stands out most prominently in connection with the unusual life while exploring, Mrs. Peary, without a moment’s hesitation, said: “Our hunt-, ing the walrus. It is the only occasion in my life when I was so lightened tbat I would have welcomed death a£ a relief. We were out in a boat with Dr. Cook, ‘Mat’ and some natives. Mr. Peary had broken his leg, but was steering the boat, his legs, in splints, stretched out before him. We saw the walrus coming toward us, and when the natives said ‘Shoot at them,’ we took our rifles and did so.

“Then followed a scene too terrible for words. The bullets had only entered the hides of these animals, enough to infuriate them, and they came forward enraged and with but one determination—to turn over the boat. They placed their long tusks on the gunwale and attempted to tip us out. I crouched at the bottom of the skiff, loading the rifles, so that the men would not have to wait a second. The sea was crimson with their blood, and for a few mo-

MRS. PEARY.

ments I did not know whether I should be shot by the excited men or drowned by the walrus. We killed about seventeen, and have some of the tusks. Rut don’t let me talk about it any more ’’

The Greatest Adulterant.

Glucose, it appears, is the greatest of all adulterants. It is used for making cheap candy, sugars, .jellies and syrups. Apple sauce is pumpkin boiled in cider. It is said that cheap confectionery and liquors are the articles most injuriously adulterated. Candy commonly contains much fusel oil and other poisons. Strawberry ice cream—a plate of it—often contains almost more fusel oil than five glasses of poor whisky. It is colored with red aniline dye. Licorice drops are usually made out of candy factory sweepings. Wine is frequently nothing but water with a percentage of crude alcohol from grain or the refuse of beef refineries, colored with burnt sugar, flavored with oil of cognac and given an agreeable woody taste with a little catechu.

The Cream Of Current Humor

Among the prophets of to-day, Which men are aggrandizing, The greatest profit, so they say. Is that called Advertising. *—West Union Gazette. There is a difference - betwee^-. g pofil and-the grip, but you will not realize it until you receive the doctor’s bin.— Truth. The 'Wife —How did you come to propose to me, John? The Husband—l wanted to be different from other men, I suppose.—Life. All our Arctic explorers have enjoyed one important advantage; in their deadliest perils they always keep cooL— New York Ledger. Brown—Our candidate says the salary of the office Is no object to him. Jones—l suppose he has an eye on the perquisites.—Brooklyn Life. “See here, you impostor, you’ve begged from me four times in the last tell days.” “Huh! Yer ain’t got no kick} yer ain’t gi’me a cent.”—Chicago Re©ord.

“My rich uncle is dead.” “He left you something, did he not?” “Yes.’* “Good! What did he leave you?” “Penniless.” Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-graph. “Going to live in the country, eh?" “Yes.” “I suppose the city air doesn’t agree with your family?” “Well, city airs don’t agree with my pocketbook." —Truth. Merritt—Under the circumstances, why don’t you go West and get a dVvorce? Cobwigger—Because if I* had a divorce I might be fool enough to marry again.—Life. “This is a hard world,” murmured the young man. “Yes,” replied she, “one doesn’t realize how hard It Is till one falls 0$ a bicycle once or twice a week.” —Washington Star.

Teacher—Can you explain how tho jworld is divided? Willie (with very important air)—Between them that’s got jt and them that would like to have it —Harper’s Round Table. “No, Willie, dear,” said mamma, “no more cakes to-night Don’t you know you cannot sleep on a full stomach?” “Well,” replied Willie, “I can sleep on my back.”—Harper’s Round Table. Once more the genial candidate, Both gracious and astute, Puts up his campaign promises In packages to suit. —Washington Star. Smith—l see that Jones was at that dinner the other night. What did he think of the speeches? Brown—When I saw him he was just going to read them in a morning paper.—Brooklyn Life.

“I suppose you have forgotten that you owe me $10,” said Phillips, severely. “No, I haven’t,” retorted Wilbur. “I meant to have done so. Give mo time, old man, and I will.’’—Harper’s Bazar. She —My mother is so particular about the young men Igo with. He—But she doesn’t object to me, does she? She— Oh, dear, no! She says she knows you are perfectly harmless.—New York Herald. Miss Ingenue (on a yacht)—ls there really a cable in the ocean? JailorYes, mum. Miss Ingenue (with conviction, after studying the.pianv.at the Wheel) —Then that' rriuSt be ! the gripman.—Brooklyn Life. She—Did you know that Miss Willowsnap has been taking lessons in Delsarte? He—Oh, yes; she showed me how to sit down the other night. She —She didn’t show you how to get up, did she?—New York Herald.

The girl to her doting father brings Her love with a fond salute; But as time goes on there’s a change in things— She brings him a lover to boot! —Judge. Ethel Gotrox —Papa, you must let me marry Jack. He says he positively cannot live without me another day. Old Gotrox —This is more serious than I thought it was. I had no idea he was so hard up as that.—New York Herald. She —Well, if I can’t live on my income, and you/ can’t live on yours, where would be the advantage in our marrying? He (thoughtfully)—Well, by putting our incomes together one of us would be able to live, at any rate.— Harlem Life. : “That was very kind of your uncle to pay your debts.” “Humph! I don't think so. He might have given me the money and let me pay ’em.” “What difference would that have made?" “It would have re-established my credit.” —Harper’s Bazar. “What we need to do,” said the new director, “is to establish a sinking fund.” “Humph!" said the old director. “When you’ve been in here a while longer you’ll have more sense. What we need is a fund that can keep lta head above water.”—Harper’s Bazar. “You can trust the man who sings at his work,” said the cheery citizen. “Yes,” replied Sinnicker; “I wish some one would persuade the man who works around my wood pile two or three nights a week to sing lopd enough for me to hear him.”—Washington Star.

Why Nothing Happened.

Once a careless man went to the cellar and stuck the candle in what he thought was a keg of black sand. He sat near it drinking wine, until the candle burned low. Nearer it got to the black sand—nearer and nearer, until the blaze reached the black sand; and as it was nothing but black sand nothing happened. The people one enjoys meeting three times a day don’t seem to be bound for heaven, and are not of the kind that are going to hell.