Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 37, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 20 September 1895 — ELECTRIC FREAKS. [ARTICLE]

ELECTRIC FREAKS.

CATERING TO A RICH MAN'S WANTS IN EVERYTHING. Th« Mysterious Fore* Used fer tho Benefit of Mr. Midas in Many Naw and Surprising Ways. Electricity dominates invention nowadays. A steady stream of new ideas relating to the mysterious fluid is pouring Into the United States Patent Office. Yet this branch of research is only in its infancy. Before long, if progress continues at its present rate, the work of the world will be mainly done by electrical apparatus. Already electricity contributes enormously to the luxury of the richsays the Pittsburg Post Dispatch. The household establishment of Mr, Gorgius Midas is fairly run by bar. nessed lightning controlled by switches and automatic regulators. A complete electric plant in the basement furnishes lights and runs an elevator which has no attendant, being perfectly controlled' by push buttons. On waking in the morning Mr. Mida9 summons his valet by a push button and presently is notified that his bath is ready. His ablutions are accomplished by a mild scrub with an electric brush, which produces a pleasant tingling sensation and is healthful for the skin. Emerging from the tub, he rubs himself to a glow with an electric towel, which is woven on a loose web of very fine wires, so as to be perfectly flexible Towel and brush are connected with a small storage battery, and the current may he made as gentle as desired. This also applies to a comb that hangs by the shaving glass. Nobody has yet invented an electric razor, but that will come in time . Mr. Midas uses an electric toothbrush for the benefit of his gums, and then, feeling fit for a little exercise, he devotes five minutes to handling a pair of light dumbbells. These are also electrical and give a series of mild shocks to the person employing them. The gentleman is now ready for his breakfast. Flis coffee is drunk out of a cup of precious metal, which is readily attached to a little battery beneath the table by hooking <t on to the end of a fine wire. In his left hand he holds a small electrode that terminates another wire. The act of drinking closes the circuit and the liquid conveys the electricity to the alimentary canal and stomach. This is not excellent for digestion, but it renders more palatable the fluid taken from the cup, because the electricity stimulates the organs of taste. Having finished breakfast and read the morning papers, Mr. Midas takes and cane and starts downtown for his office. The stick has a massive gold head and would be a prize for a sneaktliief, but it reposes safely in the hall rack, which has an alarm attachment, so as to give instant notice in case a coat or anything else on it is removed. The cane referred to is itself electrical, sending Dleasant thrills through the body of the user. Mr. Midas’s wife, who is musically inclined, spends most of the morning in playing on a piano which is so contrived that Bhe receives a series of shocks while manipulating the keys, thus undergoing a treatment for rheumatism incidentally to the performance. Upstairs the children are playing with dolls that are made to dance by electricity. All this might be considered rather farfetched were it not that the patents have been taken out for every one of the devices described.

Mr. Midas occasionally has an engagement at his club that keeps him out late. He may decide to have his shoes shined. He drops a nickel into a slot, sits down in a chair and puts his feet upon two supports provided for the purpose. An electric motor actuates the brushes—first a brush that carries blacking supplied from a reservoir, and then polishing brushes. On his way home several hours later, the night being dark, Mr. Midas wishes to know the time. His watch is provided with a very small electric light bulb. In his other waistcoat pocket connected with the watch by a chain which serves as a conducting wire, is a little battery. An instant’s pressure upon a charm that is attached to the chain closes the circuit, ignites the lamp and illuminates the dial. When Mr. Midas reaches home he has no trouble in finding the keyhole. He pushes a button and an electric light shines through a round hole in the door, illuminating the keyhole. As he enters the house all is silent. The only noise he hears as he passes his wife’s room is that of the baby’s cradle, which is being rocked by electricity. Of course, Mr. Midas has an electric pleasure boat, The power for running it is contained in storage batteries concealed under the seats.