Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 6 September 1895 — The Comic Side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side of The News

The suggestive remarks about bloomers have gone far enough. Cut them short. A Washington man committed suicide because he couldn’t please his wife. Wonder if he succeeded at last. We believe Mr. Holmes ought to be willing to pay regular rates for reading notices from this time forward. Before the troops are withdrawn from Jackson’s Hole we hope they will drive the correspondents back to their reservation. A cablegram says that Nat Goodwin is having a glorious time touring England on a wheel. We are glad Nat left his skates at home. At Greenwich, Conn., Miss Anna Mercy and Joseph Justice were married. It isn’t often that the law tempers mercy with justice like that. A dispatch from Philadelphia say’s that Holmes is looking thin and dejected. Well, it’s enough to wear out any man to keep track of the detectives’ clews in that case. Boston has discovered that the bananas sold by street fruiterers are ripened beneath mattresses in tenement houses. Well, this comes*from being too inquisitive. A Florida dispatch says that a picnicking party down there “was pursued the other dav by a snake which in diameter resembled a beer barrel.” Perhaps that's what it was. A Chicago man who decamped with $45 of his employer’s money voluntarily surrendered to the police at Lincoln, Neb., because he was conscience-emitten. He was not an Aiderman. A valued New York contemporary which says that “Mrs. Odrbett has found marriage a failure” should guess again. A hundred dollars a week for life doesn’t look much like a failure. That Ohio girl who dispersed a congregation by appearing at church in a pair of red bloomers has received more than 1,000 letters approving her course. She seems to be a girl who pants for notoriety of that sort