Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1895 — FOOLING A FOREIGNER. [ARTICLE]

FOOLING A FOREIGNER.

He Paid Taxes On His Side Whisk" , ers and Trousers. “I have been in America but two days,"said the talkative foreigner, “but already I have become impressed with some of the strange customs of the country.” “Indeed.' What particular customs do you refer to?” “Well, for one thing, I had not been ashore more than an hour when a spruce, official-looking man came up to me- He showed a silver badge of some sort and said he was a collector of the internal revenue. He asked me if I had payed my side, whisker license yet. I told him that I didn't know that aide whiskers were taxed in America. He saw they were, and that the tax was >4 per year. He added that I might consider myself lucky that he didn’t add 25 per cent, for of collection, because it was ray duty to report at City Hall and pay tax, without putting the nation to the expense of sending a collector after the money.” “You paid him. did you?” “Oh, yes, and I was quite glad that I did not wear a full beard. He said that the assessment on full beards was $lO per chin. Why do you have such odd taxes in America? Is it so very expensive to run a republican government?” “It costs quite a good deal. But was that your only experience?” "No, it wasn’t. About two hours later another man approached me, asked me if I had yet pro, ured the Government permit entitling me to wear trousers of such a wide stripe as those 1 had on. It was the same pair I’m wearing now. 1 asked what the blamed Government would do if I refused to pay for such a permit. He replied that the fee for the permit was so excessively small that no one thought of trying to evade payment. It was only $2, he said. The penalty was the confiscation of the trousers, and it would be his painful duty to take me to the nearest police station and take possession of my garments in the name of the United States Government if 1 manifested any further hesitancy about producing the $2. As I did not want a scene, I paid him the money and he left.’ “You would have done well to let him take you to a police station.” “Why?” “You could have told your story and he would have been locked up on a charge of swindling.” “Do you mean to say he was not an official of the Government?” “That’s what I mean.” “But he said he was.” “I’m afraid he didn’t speak the truth.” “But how about the other?” "He was a fraud, too.” ‘ ‘But he showed me his badge. ” “That cuts no ice.” “I beg pardon! It doesn’t do what?” t “I said it cuts no ice. I mean that was no significance. Thieves can get badges when they deem it necessary to use them in their business.” “But who are the real officers who issue permits to wear striped trousers and who receive the tax on side whiskers?” “There are no such officers.” “And no such taxes?” “No.” “Then they both lied?” “Yes.” “Well, I never would have thought it. Do you suppose that others will try to do me up in this Way?” “It would not surprise me in the least.” “Allow me to thank you for putting me on my guard, sir. I pay no more taxes except at the City Hall. Good day, sir.”