Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 31, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 9 August 1895 — Only Way Out of It. [ARTICLE]

Only Way Out of It.

Major Heap, of the United States Engineers, was in charge, under the late General Newton, of the government exhibit at the Centennial. One day a crank entered the office demanding to see General Newton. The major extracted from the crank that he had a new invention that could destroy any army upon which it was worked. “It is the most powerful explosive the world ever saw, and I propose to send up a balloon over the army that is to attack ours, setting the fuse so it would go off the moment the balloon floated over the army of the enemy.” “That is all very good,” said Major Heap, “but suppose that a current of air should carry your explosive balloon over our army—what then?”- “Well,” said the crank, laying his hand on the major’s arm, “I tell you what it is, my friend, our army would have to get up and run like ”

“Two heads are better than one,” they say; But it does not always work that way. There’s an instance, though,'on which there’s no quarrel— Two heads are better than one in a barrel. —Judge. ‘ Bacon—Did you see Hooker when he came from fishing? Egbert—Yes; I was on the float. “Was there any fish lying about him?” “No; he was lying about the fish.”—Yonkers Statesman. Things could be worse; the women might wear bloomers made of whit® material