Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 27, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 July 1895 — The Comic Side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side of The News

The wheat crop is the only thing we can recall that is worth most when there are flies on it. There are no .swear words in the Japenese language. How does Japan express her opinions of Russia just now? A Brooklyn church has built a stable for the bicycles of its congregation, thus laying the path to heaven via Wheeling. There is fame and fortune ahead for the horticulturist who succeeds in crossing the Georgia watermelon with Jamaica ginger. John L. Sullivan says he wants to open a hotel. He might have owned a few hotels before this if tie hadn’t opened quite so many things with a corkscrew. Campos has ordered 25,000 more troops from Spain. Probably he has just found out that three or four American correspondents have joined the insurgents. Nearly all the important iron furnaces in Pennsylvania have advanced wages 10 per cent recently. . They are evidently driving their pigs to the Tight market. The defaulting exTreasqrer of South Dakota should at least express regbet that the authorities have been put to so much trouble in preparing a reception for him. A Springfield biqyclist claims that a snake bit the tire of hip wheels and burst it. It is remarkable that any man who sees such things could keep in his bicycle saddle. “What mates Chicago the healthiest of cities?” inquires the Times-Herald. Precisely the same thing which makes it the most moral and religious of cities. Anybody can guess it. Says the Boston Globe: “We hear a great deal about raising potatoes on the vacant lots about Boston. Wij»ji potatoes alone?” The point is well, taken; beans should have the call in Boston. The winners of the Columbian prize medals should take courage. A Minnesota man has just received from the Government a medal for valorous deeds performed as a soldier more than thirty years ■go. ; Here comes another Indian story about a man who “dikes into water and catches fish with his hands.” We believe a close investigation will prove that that.fellow dives into,his imagination and catches fish with a lead pencil.