Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 25, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 June 1895 — Page 6

FALL OF KHARTOUN.

TEN YEARS SINCE CHINESE GOR.'I OON WAS KILLED. ▲ Bra re and Romantic Figure In Which Heroism and Religion Held an Equal Share-Monument to Gordon In Trafalgar Square, London. His Life in China. In these prosaic days we are wont to think that bravery, heroism and devotion to an ideal are no longer to be met with. Such indeed is often the case, but still our modem life has produced some characters fully as chlvalric as any warrior of the middle ages and

MONUMENT TO GORDON IN LONDON.

has furnished incidents more dramatic than those of any other century. So recently as ten years ago was brought to an end the life of Gen. Gordon, than whom no man more brave, more courageous and more admirable has ever been seen. Ten years ago the city of Khartoum fell, and in the ensuing massacre was put out that noble and beautiful life. Charles George Gordon was bom in England in IS3O of well-to-do parents. His father was a soldier and one of a family of soldiers; his mother is said to have been a woman of humorous and cheerful disposition, which traits she certainly transmitted to her son. Gordon followed in his father's steps and received a military training. Not tench is known of his school days and

we are told that he never displayed more than the average talent. His first military service was in the Crimean war, in which he served with great courage and received rather a severe wound at Sebastopol. He was next dispatched to China on an expedition sent out by England and he remained there some years. It wnis at this time that Gordon began to come prominently forward in his profession. China was then engaged in trying to put down the Tai Ring rebellion which threatened the national life. He threw himself heart and soul into the Chinese

GEN. GORDON.

peror conferred on him high military rank and invested him with the yellow jacket and the peacock’s feather—the mightiest in honors in the imperial gift It was from these circumstances that he was niclc-named "Chinese” Gordon, a title which he became known by much more than by his own name.

The next important event in Gordon’s life was an expedition to Central Africa under the Egyptian Government Gordon’s life in Africa wAs most interesting. His bravely and courage made such an impression on the natives that they regarded him rather as some god than as a man; his constant effort to put down the slave trade excited their, keenest admiration and the deep religious motives of the man, which were the mainsprings of his whole life, Impressed the Africans even more than his military genius. -Gordon was made pasha by the Khedive and a few years later England made him governor general of the Soudan. During his term of service he continued his warfare against the slave trade, he effected many reforms in the way of lightening extortionate taxes and dismissing unjust officials and, finally, he put down several, formidable rebellions. His reputation among the natives for justice and courage increased and when, in 1880, he finally resigned his post and returned to England he left behind him lamentations, grief and tears. After Gordon’s departnre affairs in the Soudan got into an alarming condition. The gaining control of the Sue* Canal by English capitalists had given England a hold In Egypt and had naturally led to a soft of protectorate. Such a state of affairs was all well enough in a state of peace, but now that disturbances were arising England’s position became one of great responsibility. This disturbing facto# was Mahomet Ahmed, the Mahdl, whom we know as the False Prophet. This man went thropgljput the SoudfifF

proclaiming himself as the chosen of God, the promised deliverer of Islam, who was to free Mohammedans from the rule of unbelievers whether Egyp tians or English. The Arabs flocked in swarms to this man, swore allegiance to him and Joined the army which he was raising against his enemies. By 1883 the Mahdi’s forces had gained formidable proportions. One by one the strongholds of the Khedive fell into their hands, as did many held by the English. At last Gen. Hicks was sent against the Mahdi with a strong regiment. The followers of the False Prophet surprised them and a horrible massacre followed which scarcely any Englishman survived. Gen. Baker, who was marching to Hicks’ assistance, was next attacked, three-quarters of his men were slain and he himself narrowly escaped to a gunboat, whence lie made his way to England. When this news reached England it cansed the greatest possible consternation. The Goyernmcnt saw its bravest troops slain, its best commanders cut down and knew that unless something were done to hinder the Mahdi's victorious advance the country must lose all hold In the Soudan. There was just one man to whom the Government could turn; this was Gordon; on his

shouders must rest the whole responsibility of maintaining England's glory. Gordon accepted the mission, and in January, 1884, went to Egypt and leisurely proceeded to Khartoum, the chief city in the Soudan. He was received with loud acclaims, the people crowding about and proclaiming him as their savior and deliverer. He proceeded to take command of the city and to bring something like order out of the confused affairs of the people. The Mahdi, meanwhile continued his onward course aud made for Khartoum. Before he knew it Gordon found himself shut up in the city which the Mahdi now besieged. Encouraged by Gordon the city made a noble resistance, but soon the people were reduced to a most desperate condition. Famine broke out; sickness followed in its train and Gordon saw himself in desperate straits. He sent appeals, pitiful in their distress, to the home Government praying for relief; but statesmen and ministers delayed and disputed, aud it nas not till the last of the year that help was sent him. Gen. James Stewart and a force came near Khartoum early In 1885, but only to meet the enemy in desperate conflict, in which Stewart was killed and 12 per cent of his men slain or rendered incapable of fighting. Khartoum had fallen the day before their advent, as reports months afterward showed. Gordon had attempted to dislodge the Mahdi aud failed. Then

THE FORT AT KHARTOUM.

came the news of the approach of the reserves and the Mahdi determined to storm the city before their arrival. A colleague of Gordon’s, Ferig Pasha, wanted him to give up the place; Gordon became very angry and a violent discussion ensued. Meanwhile the distress In the city increased aud Gordon was at his w’it’s end what to do. The suffering, the doubt add the difficulties of that strong soul can bo better imagined than described; the hope of rescue, the heart-sick feeling of despair were all his.

Sir Charles Wilson and Lord Charles Beresford next attempted Gordon’s rescue. They approached by water and reached Khartoum on the 2Sth. Gordon’s flag was no longer to be seen, and so they turned back without finding out definitely what the condition of the city was. But it could not last. A few days later and the Mahdl overpowered the small force of defenders and entered the city. A terrible massacre was at once inaugurated and thousands perished. In the general slaughter Gordon was killed, though how is not known to this day. The accounts are most conflicting aud all that is certain is his death. Even that was doubted for many months, and it was long thought he might possibly have survived. Perhaps this strange and mysterious end is of a piece with the mystical character of the man

cause and was in 1863 appointed by the Emperor com-mander-in-chief of the army. For two years he was engaged in vigorous warfare and at the end of that time I found his efforts |crowned with suc- ' cess and the rebellion Suppressed. The delighted Em-

PALACE AT KHARTOUM.

which almost raises him oat ,of the rinks of ordinary mortals to some higher plane, making him tb resemble Galahad or Bayard or Arthur.

George Washington’s Rag Doll.

A number of women at Huntington, L. 1., Interested in the success of a “people's room” searched among the old residents of the town for curious and quaint things, and held an exhibition of them hist evening in the upper rooms of the People’s Building street One of the most interesting exhibits was a rag doll which was made by a great-grandmother of Mrs. J. H. Ripley, of New York, and presented to George Washington when he was a boy. It is now the property of Mrs. L.pley, who is a sumlner resident of Huntingdon.—New York Herald.i Every man should carry a big lot of life insurance; after his death it will *help‘ I fcl3 Wife in'fnarryfn^hgain. e ■>- . a . ft

FARM AND GARDEN.

BRIEF HINTS AS TO THEIR SUCCESSFUL MANAGEMENT. The Stump-Sooted Carrot Excellent for Family Use —How to Make a Farm Roller —A Movable Hen's NestFarmers Should Raise Everything. Half-Long Stump-Rooted Carrot. There is much less attention paid to the choice of varieties of carrots for a given soil than the importance demands, says Farm and Home. For field culture the long orange was the variety in general use until within the past few years, since when several new

FINE CARROT FOR FAMILY USE.

types have been introduced, the tendency being for shorter roots, both on account of a saving of labor in digging and in greater productiveness. For most varieties, particularly where the soil is light and thin, the stump-rooted varieties are preferable. To grow to perfection carrots require a iieh, deep, sandy loam, well pulverized aud deeply cultivated. For an early crop sow in May aud June in drills about one foot apart, thinning out to four inches in the row. Sow for the main crop in June and July. After sowing tread the rows firmly. On poor, light soil, where the weeding aud cultivation have been neglected, the half-long, stump-rooted carrots have yielded at the rate of 520 bushels per acre. This is more than double the quantity that could have been raised had long-rooted varieties been planted aud not nearly as much as would have been produced had the soil been in good condition and well cultivated. Heavier crops can be produced in. deep, rich soils with the long-rooted varieties, but iu thin soils the shorter kinds give by far the greater yield.

Progress of Agriculture. The average of wages has risen 00 per cent since 1870, and at the same time the accumulation of urban wealth per head has been 70 per cent more than iu the period from 1850 to 1870, which shows that the rise in wealth and the increase of wages go almost hand in hand. But the farmer has nevertheless a corresponding advantage, for his life is a healthier one, the statistics of mortality showing that the death rate in American cities, especially among children, is greatly in exeess of that of rural districts. The farmer may make money more slotvly, but he has a safer aud less agitated life, and his children grow up around him in affluence and comfort The census of 1800 showed that tlie United States had 4,505,000 farmers, the aggregate value of whose farms, cattle aud implements summed up 15.082 millions of dollars, giving to each an average fortune of $3,505, most of these men having begun on a capital of a couple of hundred dollars. The number of uew farms created since 1860 lias been 2,520,000, bringing into cultivation 105,000,000 acres, and the greater part of this work has been done by European settlers. In fact, if the United States had no urban population or industries whatever, the advance of agricultural interests would be enough to claim the admiration of mankind, for it has no parallel in history.—North American Review. An Excellent Hen’s Nest, The accompanying illustration, taken from the American Agrculturist, shows an easily constructed and very excellent movable hen’s nest which is fitted . with a device which permits the eggs to be gathered from the outside of the hen house. The nest boxes have no

MOVABLE HEN'S NESTS.

backs and are hung by hooks against the wall, as seen in Fig. 1. They can be taken down aud emptied in a moment, in this way avoiding all chance of harboring vermin. The opening in front should be just large enough for a hen to enter. An alighting pole may be placed In front of the nests. If there is a passageway at one side of the fowl house, or a room adjoining it, the nests

REAR SLIDES.

can be hung against the partition, and the eggs gathered from the outside without going into the pen. Let round holes be cut behind each nest in the partition, and these openings covered'by a slide as suggested in Fig. 2. The same arrangement could be used upon the outer wall of a hen house standing; by itself. The Family Garden. The family garden idea Is the thing to be cherished just now. Farmers are much, more apt, says the Nebraska Farmer, as a class, to give themselves over to the study of how best to meet the wants of their live stock through a variety of feeds best suited to building up the system and giving vigor to the constitution than they are to spend much thought or labor In meeting the same class of wants for the various members of the family. The garden spot should be the center of economy

for every farm household, not simply In a money sense, but in the better sense of providing fresh from the soil all those delicacies of the table in and out of season that are never procured in so good form as when produced directly by the hands for whose use they are Intended. Every member of the family can be made to feel an interest in the garden, and now is about the time to make that interest manifest by good deeds.

Unevenly Matched Teams. The worst result of having the team unevenly matched In work Is that neither is able to exert its full power in pulling. The slow and fast each hinders the other, and neither can do its best. This is a pracical basis for the ancient injunction in the law of Moses that the ox and the ass should not be yoked together. 'Jhere Is also a need for due proportion between the team and Its driver. The great majority of farm work requires that the driver shall walk, and a slow team limits the amount that an active, able-bodied man can accomplish. We well remember while a boy on a farm plowing with an ox team that could not be made to turn over an acre a day. A smart horse team with the same plow would turn an acre and a half or two acres. Such a difference as this explains why much farm help fails to earn its wages. The team for farm work should be active rather than plodding. This activity is not at all incompatible with superior strength and endurance.—American Cultivator.

The Farm Roller. The value of a farm roller as an aid in preparing ground for planting, or sowing is not sufficiently realized. The function of the roller on most farms is to go once over a piece of grain that has been sowed with an accompaniment of grass seed, to put tho ground into smooth condition for future mowing. This use of a roller is all right, but it is extracting only a small part of the value that can be got out of it. Nothing is better for making fine the soil, and getting an admirable seed bed than a thorough rolling, followed by a thorough harrowing. The roller breaks up lumps and clods and firms the soil so it can be thoroughly pulverized by the subsequent harrowing. A roller should be made in two sections so that one may roll back and the other forward in making a turn, otherwise a bad gouging of the surface occurs at every turn. The illustration show's the best manner of constructing a roller. Two pieces of plank are halved together at right angles for ends, and pieces V-shaped are fitted in at the four corners. These ends should be twentyfour or more inches in diameter, making the roller twenty-eight inches in diameter. The ends are covered with narrow strips of plank, with edges sawed somewhat beveling. This can be done at the mill. These strips are spiked

A FARM ROLLER.

to the ends, and over each end a stout iron hoop is put on hot, and allowed to shrink into place, as a wagon tire is put on. This makes a solid job. Get this ready before planting time, and use it before putting in the seed as well as after. Care of Farm Machinery. It was formerly a common thing for the traveler in the West to see farm machinery of all kinds, expensive harvesters and thrashers, plows and all the ordinary implements, standing in the field, left where they were last used, usually without shelter from the elements. It W'as a common thing for the •wner of largo wheat and corn fields to buy new machinery in the spring or at harvest time, use It one season, leave it where used, and when the next season came round find it In no condition for use without considerable repairs. In such cases the farmer was very apt to trade off his machines for new ones, paying a large bonus, and often mortgaging them for all or part of the purchase money. The hard times and low prices for farm products are operating to cure the Western farmer of this extravagance and to compel him to manage bis business as closely as the manufacturer does his. It used to be a common saying on the rich prairie lands of Illinois that a farmer w'asted enough each year for a New England farmer to live on, and there was a solid foundation of truth for the saying.—Springfield Republican.

Early Spring Crops. Early crops, such as asparagus, strawberries, etc., that can be sold in the spring and early summer, usually pay much better than stuff that is raised for the fall and winter markets. The great majority of farmers grow crops for the late markets, which makes competition keen and prices low, says the Farmer. More early truck is grown each year, but it will be a long time before the spring market is as well supplied as the fall. The Guernsey Butter. The Guernsey as a dairy cow has been more talked about since the World’s Fair than she ever was before. It is undisputed that the Guernsey butter has the richest natural color of any breed. The Guernsey the world over has the rich, yellow skin which the old-time dairy people always said indicated a good butter cow.

Planting for the Hereafter. Trees cannot usurp the place of a broader agriculture, but can often be worked In conjunction with it. That farmer is but “casting an anchor to windward” who plants an orchard, a vineyard, a nut grove or a tract of timber. If he cannot live to enjoy it to the full, his children may. Black Knots in Cherry Trees. How can we, destroy black knots on our cherry trehi? is often asked. Simply cut'off‘the limbs and burn them, says American Gardening. The pest that causes these knots is in them, and fire alone will cause their destruction. But the work must be general to be useful. Farmers, Kaioe Everything. The farmer who keeps cows, poultry and hogs, who raises his own fruit and vegetables, and buys nothing th*t h* can raise himself, is the most snecessfol.

CANADA HAS ALL THE NICKEL.

And This May Give Her Control of the Shipbuilding Industry. “When nickel steel comes Into general use for the construction of vessels, as It undoubtedly will,” said a Canadian gentleman In Chicago the other day, “Canada will, In a sense, control the shipbuilding Industry, because, so far as is at present known, there is very little nickel outside of the Dominion, while we have nickel-bearing pyrites practically without limit That whole vast stretch of territory reaching from Lake Superior to Labrador is rich In it and will produce hundreds of thousands of tons of It annually for an unlimited period whenever the demand requires it

“How will this control the shipbuilding industry? Why, in this way. It has been demonstrated by conclusive tests at your proving grounds at Sandy Hook and elsewhere that steel, mixed w ith, say, 5 per cent, of nickel, is double the strength of ordinary steel. In the construction of men-of-war the advantage is obvious, and in building merchant vessels the benefit to be derived from the use of nickel-steel is equally plain, as it will enable them to be built much lighter than they are now% which means less coal and less engine power with an equal amount of security and equal amount of speed. It will only be a few years when a wooden vessel in the port of Chicago will l>e something of a novelty and the new vessels will before very long, for the reasons Indicated, be made of nickelsteel, and this will be the only metal in demand for the purpose at your great shipbuilding yards in Cleveland, Detroit, South Chicago and other points. “Another advantage which steel having nickel in its composition possesses over ordinary steel is that it will not corrode and that, barnacles cannot get a foothold on it, so that nickel-steel ship's bottom will never require to be scraped.”

LARGEST IN THE COUNTRY.

Huge Granite Monument Placed in the Torrence Lot at Rosehill. Tile largest private shaft monument in the United States has just been put in place in General J. T. Torrence’s lot

in Rosehill Cemetry. The granite piece for the shaft when taken from the quarry, weighed 100 tons. Cut to its present shape it weighs fifty-five tons. It is the largest and most perfect spire ever quarried in Vermont. It is of Barre granite and has not a spot, streak o' blemish from bottom to top. Tli e monument

TORRENCE MONUMENT.

was built from General Torrence's own copyrighted plans. Its entire height is sixty-five feet. The base at the foundation is fifteen feet square, and is covered with other pieces to a height of seventeen feet Next comes the colossal shaft, forty-eight feet long. It was necessary to build two special cars for its transportation. The derrick for lifting the shaft into place w T as built of Oregon pine poles seventy-two feet long. Over three miles of rope was used on the derrick. The monument itself is fittingly located in a lot containing 11,000 square feet

Couldn’t Make Out the “Skip.”

A Cornish miner, just from the copper fields of the Peninsular State; strayed into the Chicago Chamber of Commerce one day last week. He watched the elevator for a moment then followed several others in and was ‘•dumped” nt Ihe top floor. After satisfying his curiosity he began to think about going down. In Cornish mining parlance the receptacle in which ore or rock is hoisted to the surface Is called a ’‘skip.” The signals are given by a system of levers, cords and bells. This new “skip” with no lever in sight puzzled “Cousin Jack.” He accosted the iirst man he met with, “Ow do, my son, deep shaf‘ edwa?” Not noticing the blank face of his noncomprehending friend, he continued. “ ’Ow’ll I get daown? Damme, my son. et's long shaf’ to run ladders.” “Why don't you ride down ?" “Can’t catch the blarddy hould skip, my son.” “You mean the elevator?” “Hele wassa call’n agen?” “Elevator.” “But I cudden rache the bluddy ould bell rope, hangen en thicky theer bluddy hould c-aage.” “Just touch this button, that will ring a bell, then the elevator will come up.” “ ’Ow many bells do ’ee ring?” “Oh, just one.” “Just one? W’y, ’ome us do ring three to laower, two to 'oist an’ wan to stop. Et’s a bluddy quare ’oist, my son.”

Ways of Guileless Druggists.

“I noticed,” said the druggist to his assistant, “that a gentleman came in with a prescription, and that you took it and gave him the stuff in about three minutes. What do you mean by that?” “It was only a little carbolic acid and water,” replied the assistant. “I simply had to pour a few drachms of acid into the bottle and till it up with water.” < “Never mind if you only had to do that,” the druggist declared. “Don’t you know that every prescription must take at least half an hour to till or the customer will think he isn’tgettinganything for his money? When a prescription for salt and water or peppermint and cough syrup is handed to you you must look at it doubtfully,, as if it were very hard to make up. Then you must bring it to me, and we will both read it and shake our heads. After that you go back to the client and ask him if he wants it to-day. When he says he does you answer that you’ll make a special effort. “Now, a patient appreciates a prescription like that that he’s had so much trouble over, and when he takes it he derives some benefit from it. But don’t you do any more of that threeminute prescription business, my boy, if you want to become a first-class druggist.”

Beautiful.

The pressure of natural gas in a well at Apollo, Pa., during a cold spell forced a stream of water to a height of sixty feet. It spread In the form of an umbrella and froze, making a beau-; ful snowy picture.

MODEL $4,000 HOUSE.

6uch a One aa la Here Described Would Adorn Any Neighborhood. It may be truly said that the owner who builds a house of good design confers a substantial benefit upon the community in which he lives as well as upon himself. Such a house shines like a star, lighting up the whole neighborhood, Inspiring confidence, stimulating

$4,000 COTTAGE.

industries, and often showing the way to prosperity. Particularly does the light shining from a new house disclose eligible building sites that were never dreamed of before. Following will be found a brief description of the residence design illustrating this article: Size of structure: Front (width), 34 feet; depth, 51 feet 6 inches. Height of story: Cellar, 7 ft; first story, 9 ft. 6 In.; second story, 8 ft 10 in.; attic, 7 ft 6 in. Materials for exterior walls: Foundations, stone and brick; first story, clapboards; second story, shingles; gable, shingles and panels; roof, shingles. Interior finish: Hard, white plaster throughout; plaster cornices and centers In hall, parlor, sitting and dining room; oak trim in hall and dining-room; Georgia pine trim in second story; white pine in remainder of house; main stairs oak; mantels to cost $80; stained glass in staircase window; house piped for gas. Exterior colors: All clapboards, light brown;

FIRST FLOOR PLAN.

trim, water table, corner boards, casings, cornices, bands, veranda posts and rails, dark seal brown; front door finished with hard oil, all other outer doors and outside blinds painted a dark seal brown; rain water conductors, dark seal brown; gables dark buff, with dark seal brown panels; sashes dark buff; veranda floors dark brown; veranda ceiling varnished natural color; panel work in first and second stories, dark and brown for stiles and rails and light brown for panels; side wall shingles, buff; roof shingles, dark brown. All shingles should be dipped \n stain before laying and have a good brush coat applied after laying. Accommodations: The principal rooms and their sizes, closets, etc., are shown by the floor plans printed herewith; besides these, there are two rooms and a hall finished in the attic, and there is a cellar under the whole house. The combination of front and back stairs economizes space. There is a coat and hat closet in the hall and a closet containing a wash basin under the main stairs. Stationary tubs and sink in the kitchen and a large pantry adjoining. The lobby entrance to the kitchen from the back porch has a recess for an ice box. By inclosing the balcony with net ting an open-air resort is provided that will be proof against mosquitoes and

SECOND FLOOR PLAN.

other insects. Cost: Built as described, for all localities where prices for materials and labor are about the same as those of New York, $3,300; built with brick walls in. place of frame, $4,000. Copyright, 1895.

Belated Precaution.

New Hampshire is taking steps to create forest preserves in the White Mountains, and the State Forestry Commission reports that if proper measures are adopted the mountains will continue to be a source of constant revenue, unfailing water supply and perpetual scenic pleasure.

Useful Tree.

The eucalyptus tree, which is being planted extensively in California for windbreaks and other purposes, grows to a height of fifty feet in three years after the seed is planted. When raised for cordwood and cut once every fifth year it brings about SSO an acre.

Queer Old Town.

Boston is a queer city, anyway. The city architect wants his office abolished, as lie thinks the city work should be done by competition.

HUMOR OF THE WEEK

STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Odd, Curious and Laughable Phaaea of Human Nature Graphically Portrayed by Eminent Word Artiata of Our Own Day—A Budget of Fan. Sprinkles of Spice. His teeth are loose and his nose Is a sight, And his head!—they’vo In bandages bound It; He went out to look for trouble last night And he found it —Boston Courier. Wyld—Can’t you overcome your thirst for rum? Tramp—Yes, sir, with a dime.—l,if e. He—l’ve been watching for a chance to kiss you for the last ten minutes. She—You must be near-sighted.—Life. He You reject me because I am poor. Heiress—Say, rather, that you are poor because I reject you.—Boston Transcript.

The Soft Answer—He (Just proposed) You hesitate. Have I a rival, then? She—Oh, no. On the contrary, you are my fiance's rival.—Vogue. “Father,” said the boy,” “what is Insolvent?” “Insolvent,” was the reply, “is merely a long word used to describe a short condition.”—Household Words. She—l have an instinctive feeling that I can trust you. He (passionately! Ah, my darling, would that some others felt that way!—New York Herald. '"You used to do a little trading on ’Change, didn’t you, Higgs?” “Yes.” “Were you a bull or a bear?” “Neither, Blobbs. I was a lamb.”—Chicago Tribune. New Boarder—What’s the row upstairs? Landlady—lt’s the professor of hypnotism trying to get his wife's permission to go out this evening.— Spare Moments. “I hear, Miss Impecune, that you have the bicycle craze.” “Yes. That is, I have the craze, but I’m sorry to say that I haven’t the bicycle.”—Harper’s Bazar. This world’s a most eccentric place— The thought we can’t dislodge— One-half is begging for the work The other wants to dodge. —Washington Star. Stern Father of the Girl—l saw you kiss my daughter as I passed the parlor a while ago, and I want you to know I don’t like it Young Man—You may not, but I do.—Boston Globe. Proud Father —This is a sunset my daughter painted. She studied painting abroad, you know. Friend—Ah! that explains it. I never saw a sunset like that in this country.—Tid-Bits. Perdita—lf you continue much longer to play poker with my father I won’t marry you. Jack Dashing—ls ypqr father continues to play poker much longer with me I won't need to.—Princeton

Tiger. '' Landlord Logic.—Prospective Tenant —I like the top floor best. Why doesn’t the fireescape go lower than the third floor? Agent—lt isn’t needed. The first three floors are empty.- Harper’s Bazar, New r woman has a lot to learn, Emerging from her prison. The new man says it’s now his turn To talk; slie-’s got to listen. —New York Recorder. Little Miss Muggs (haughtily)—My sister never goes out without a chaperon. Little Miss Freckles (disdainfully)—My sister wouldn’t be allowed to, either, if she was like your sister.—Chicago News. Father—Fritz, I saw you last evening helping home an intoxicated student Don’t do it again; it makes a bad impression. Fritz—Oh, that’s all right. I only did it to get even with him.—Fliegende Blaetter. Figg—Wonder why it is that these professional pugilists are such confounded talkers. Fogg—Perhaps it is because of a determination on their part never to be struck speechless Boston Transcript. “I’m very much afraid,” his mother said, “that this pie needs more shortening.” “Mamma,” said the boy In an audible undertone, “that isn’t what my piece needs.” “Isn’t it?” “No’m. My piece needs lengthening.”—Washington Star.

Mrs. White —And do you mean to say that you and your husband always agree about everything? Mrs. Black— Always; except, of course, now and then when he’s out of humor or pigheaded, or something of that sort!— Boston Transcript Roddster—l say, old fellow, cart you lend us a pair of scales for a few days? Married Chum—We have a pair, but sorry to say they are out of order; they weigh heaVy. Roddster (excitedly)—The vcjy thing; we’re going fishing! —Boston Courier. Outertown (enthusiastically)—'Citily, old man, you ought to move put to Lonely wood. Its peacefulness and quiet would make you live twice as long as yoU will. Citily—But if I re living out there 1 shouldn’t care to live twice as long.—Judge. “Only think,” exclaimed Henderson, “of the many uses to which paper is now put!” “I know,” replied Bass. “I was at the theater the other night, and I was told it was all paper. And it waa a fine, substantial-looking structure, too.”—Boston Transcript. “I heard, sir, that you said my piano playing sounded part of the time as if I were jumping on the keys with both feet.” “Exactly, madam. I referred to the pianissimo passages. Any one who would stop to think would know that such small and delicate feet aa yours could only produce the softest effects.’*—Washington Star.

Honeymoons Out of Fashion.

There is a new and unromantic fashion fast gaining ground. London brides and bridegrooms have fallen out of love with the idea of a honeymoon, and are adopting the expedient of going stjajght ? away to their new home; or, if the new home is not quite in order, of staying at a hotel until the painters and upholsterers have done their work for good and all. There is much to be said both for and against the abolishment of the honeymoon. wish we could feel as contented as a girl In' a shirt waist looks.