Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 17, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 May 1895 — The Comic Side of The News [ARTICLE+ILLUSTRATION]

The Comic Side of The News

Will the czar and the mikado permit the Chinese emperor to sit on the fence and see them go by? Now it is Texas that has had hail stones as large as goose eggs. Isn’t it nearly time to tackle some other kind of egg? The economical young man is beginning to “clean” his last summer’s straw hat and make it look worse than it did a year ago. An lowa farmer has been swindled out of $1,200 by sharpers. Let us hope that he has saved enough to subscribe for his home paper. The poets of land are fighting shy of the financial question, probably because they have had such limited experience with the subject. The chief opponents of Canada’s annexation to this country are the men who used to feel at home here, but would not feel that way now. The Missouri Pacific officials were warned about an attack of train robbers the other day. The modern train robber has his advance agent, it appears. The Wagner season is on in St. Louis and a Chicago paper says there hasn’t been so much noise in the old town since the interstate brass band contest of 1871. Let us hope that although Commander Ballington Booth, of the Salvation army, has renounced Queen Victoria, he will still keep a watchful eye on her boy, Albert Edward. < A polite stranger chatted pleasantly with the cashier of a New Jersey bank, the other day and a confederate stole over $20,000. The cashier now refuses to believe that talk is cheap. The girls of the University of Michigan will graduate in calico gowns in order to be able to subscribe more liberally to the gymnasium fund. There's a new-woman idea that is likely to make the new man do some hard thinking. No parental care ever falls to the lot of a single member of the insect tribe. In general, the eggs of an insect are destined to be hatched long after the parents are dead. Haste makes waste maybe; yet somehow you seldom see an ex-hustler in the almshouse