Democratic Sentinel, Volume 19, Number 13, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 April 1895 — Page 1 Advertisements Column 7 [ADVERTISEMENT]

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It is said that Champ Clark, congressman from Missouri, who is considered one of the most scholarly and eloquent nun in congress, as well as a wit and humorist, ill take the lecture field after congress adjourns. One of his lectures, “Richer than Golconda,” is a lea l * ture cn the bible in answer to Bob Ingersoll, which it is said is bound to attract universal attention. It would be easy to make many columns out of the good things Mr. Clark has said. As a sample of his style we give bis reply to a Protectionist democrat who stated he would rather be right in hell thanwrong in heaven. Mr. Clark replied as follows: “The gentleman from Pennsylvania [Mr Beltzhouver],borrowed from Pagan Bob Ingersoll a statement that he would rather be right in Hell, from which 1 infer he meint the Republican camp; than wrong in Heaven, which by the same token is the Democratic camp. That utterance was not original with Ingersoll. He stole it bodily fromjthe devil. It is a quotation —much disfigured in the quoting—from the celebrated speech put into Satan's mouth by glorious John Milton m “Paradise Lost” after “Old Homie” had been hurled from the battlements of Heaven into the burning lake, wh. n he said: Better to reign in Hell than eerve la Heaven. 1 want to read you another extract from that speech. in taking leave of the Demos cratic side (according to the gen' tieman’s metaphor),he said: Farewell! happy field*, where Jov forever dwell*!

Andke thus apostrophised his sulphurous abode: Hail, horror* I That is the Republican side, if the gentleman from Pennsylvania is correct — Hall, horrors! Hail, infernal world! And thon, profound#** Hell, reoeivethy now possessor! If the gentleman from Pennsylvania wants to impersonate Old Nick, tha f is his privilege. He can go to the protection inferno, more gruesome than that described by Dante, if be oho >ses, but he shall not take the Democratic party with him “The primrose path to the eternal bonfire” is proverbially broad and easy. Politically speaking, here are the directions tor reaching it: Walk through the big doors of the Hall of Representatives, down the main isle, turn to the right and there you are. . My Democratic friedfi from Pennsylvania had better qutk quoting Republican Bob Ingersoll, and Col. Ingersoll would be laying up treasures in Heaven by leaving off stealing the la guage and theology of the Father of Lies. The two local A. P. A. lodges which bolted the republican ticket at the last election and had their charters revoked because of their independent action have been taken back into the fold. Their charters have bean restored and their members have tbeen warned to support tne republican ticket blindly in the futare if they desire to retain their fellowship in the nroscri ptive organization. —Chicago Herald.

The Clinton county (Pa.) Democrat tells the following: Several amusing mistakes appear on the registry lists as returned to the Clinton county commissioners a few days ago. One assessor re» turned the “oriental” for the original list; another reports the occupation of a man as being an “infidel” for invalid, and a third wanted pay for setting up the “cow bosses” for the election booths. In Lycoming county some of the ors reported several persons as dy* ing with “ammonia” instead of pneumonia. The Phillipsburg (Pa.,) Ledger ■*ets off the following: At a backwoods hotel up on Clearfield creek the guest has the choice cf three kinds of pie—“open face, crossbar and kivar lid.” This is the same tavern where they offer you two kinds of “sassidge”—“ball or gut.” ' I The reduction in the price of woolen goods resulting from the new tariff law is estimated as oaus ing a saving to consumers of SIBO, 000,000. J The late Senator Fair seems tr have been a very thoughtful m n. er disposing of his property he added in his will a bequest of 850,000 apiece for any ehildren the law may decide to be his.