Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 48, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 December 1894 — Page 5

WILDER WITH THE WITS.

He Heard An the Drolleries of Cleveland, Harrison and Depew. How Grew* Men Make Fan—The Merry Little Maa Write* Abont the Amw Itlee of the Wine aah Wai* not Period. tCOPTBIGBT. 1894.1 They do such things and they say each things—at dinners. During the day after-dinner speakers make their livings with their heads, at night they make speeches with their hearts. At big dinners you get souls set to Dvorak symphonies. The “inmost me” percolates through the diaphragm of the day-worker and drops oat at the joint of the tongue—word by word. The smoke of the work-a-day world breaks up and scatters and disappears in a breeze of bon mots. Imagine Chauncey M. Depew, president of the New York Central railroad, cracking jokes, even in his mind, during business hours. He dare not. They would pop like torpedoes all along the track and result finally in a general wreck from end to end of the •Vanderbilt system. No; President Depew thinks no trifles “during hours.” If he do, Col. Duval smothers them in committee, and they die a deserved death. But, oh, what a difference in the evening! Dr. Depew then pulls down the blind on President Depew and -gives Chauncey a chance. Thus at dinners, he comes to be “Our Chauncey.” Gen. Horace Porter has wit, humor, memory, but he lacks the magnetism and “go” of “Chauncey.” Dr. Depew’s great power lies in his power for trotting up the right word at the winning time, as when at a late hour one evening he compared himself Ito the chamois because he found himself continually going from jag to jag. Of all dinners, those of the Clover club stand unique for sparkle. It is hard to describe a Clover club dinner—might as well try to bottle up electricity. The company is a group of guyers. Moses P. Handy, a former president of the club—the gentleman who gave publicity to the world’s fair —is a prince of guyers. By the by, he Is the best dinner chairman I ever met. One night at the Clover club in Philadelphia Handy arose, with Senator Jones, of Nevada, sitting near, and after having graphically outlined the attractive personality of that silver magnate by way of introduction, I noticed even that veteran of the upper house squirming and reddening in his eeat, knowing well the guy guns that would be turned upon him as soon as he got upon his pins. He was visibly affected for the worse, but not mane so than another gentleman, for no sooner had Handy worked the senator up almost to the starting point than he said: “Notwithstanding such Seductive talent within reach, we can peg a hole higher by calling upon Col, Thomas Ochiltree, of Earth, who will now address you.” It is needless ■to say that both gentlemen looked as lif they had just been shot out by mistake from Zalinski’s dynamite gun on the Nictheroy and missed the mark. And it came to pass in that time that the said Ochiltree had had his leg broken by the Pennsylvania railroad. He was suing the railroad because his leg was broken—or he was broke—one or the other. The officials all knew of this, and yet loved him. One of these officials was present. Col. Ochiltree •had been using crutches in order to •keep the leg from healing while the suit was in progress. But it was foully suspected that he was merely doing the litigative limb. For one day, on seeing some pretty young lady friends across Chestnut street, he dropped his crutches, ’twas said, and went with a skip to greet them. When the colonel was called upon, the Pennsylvania officials remarked: Colonel, where are your crutches?”

“Under the table, where you will be before the dinner is over,” and the scorer marked up a carom for the colonel against a goose-egg for the Pennsylvania potentate. Among the gentlemen at that dinner were Charles Emory Smith, Gen. Magargee, Gov. Bunn, E. Burd Grubb, Edwin 8. Stuart, John Russell Young, C. R. Deacon, A. K. McClure, James H. Heverin, Henry H. Bingham, Clayton McMichael, William M. Singerly, Frank Thomson, Albert G. Hetherington, J. William White and scores of famous guests from outside of Philadelphia. Col. Ingersoll came in late, when Gov. Bunn, catching sight of him, exclaimed in the midst of the decorated and delicious surroundings: “Ah, colonel, this is heaven, no place for you here.” The colonel blushed up to where the roots of his hair ought to be, and was conspicuous for his silence, whether it was because he felt out of place in heaven, I don’t know. He may go there yet in spite of himself. Mr. Cleveland, also, was there. The guy was put out on him, but Mr. Cleveland was on his mettle and made one of the best speeches of his life. Col. Cockerill came up for his share. But the colonel has been everything from drummer-boy in Sherman’s army to editor in New York city, and, with all his modesty, is a match even for Handy. Col. Cockerill is a dark horse for Depew’s place as a dinner speaker, should Depew go first. But evidently the doctor is not anticipating any such thing. For at a press club dinner given to Cockerill five years ago Dr. Depew said in closing his remarks: “I trust that Col. Cockerill may enjoy a long life and that I may live to pronounce his funeral oration.” Senator Hill said a felicitous thing that night when in making the request to follow instead of preceed Dr. Depew on the programme, he remarked that “the state of New York ought not to overshadow the United States and he deferred to Mr. Depew.” (Mr. Depew was then mentioned as a presidential possibility). At a dinner given by W. J. Arkell to the newspaper men at Mt. McGregor it was understood that there should be no remarks except by President Harrison, who was the guest of honor, to be followed by some knick-knacks by myself. I never enjoyed a dinner so little, though it was in the middle of the day. Up rose the president and made an impressive speech. The words kept buzzing in my ears, “Next comes his nibs; what’ll he say. Oh, what’ll he say!” In came Mt. Gregor. Then the president drifted to the death of Gen. Grant at that place—how eloquent he was on this • point, bnt«at the close. “AU the air a solemn stillness held.” Mirth of Mj. Had was dead to the work}.

Then came calls fbr me; but his nfba refused to get up. “You're a chump, said one friend.” “What’s the matter with you?” said another. After all was over the president approaching me said: “I didn't expect to speak of Gen Grant's death, but I knew your good taste would prevent you from saying anything of a jocular nature after I had done so.” By the bye! President Harrison could not be put down as a humorist, as I found out before the trip was ended. The party were going down the mountain to Saratoga in a special car. When walking down the aisle to where Mr. Harrison was sitting I said: “Mr. President, I am more than glad to have had you along on this jaunt. Yon will understand that a lot of people, a band of music and militia will be waiting to greet me at Saratoga. Of course, I don't tide the crush, but I thought I might miss you, and simply came to say, that in case I do, good-by.” Not a smile! I went down the aisle to my seat feeling myself touching the floor with a thud at every step. At Saratoga I hurried to a landau and ordered to be driven rapidly to a private hotel so as to escape the great demonstration to the president. “Get along as quickly as you can,” I said to the driver, and “he got”—through the band and the soldiers, who made way until we were blocked. Then formed the president’s line; the way was opened and I found myself heading the line, much to my own discomfiture, though 1 was hailed by many friends, one of whom said afterward at the hotel: “You are a good fellow to work up an ad.,” of which, however, I had no idea, as the very contrary was my intention. In London it is custom, instead of a benefit, as we give in America, to have a dinner under the auspices of the actors’ benevolent fund. At one dinner five thousand dollars were raised, which was expended for the actors of London. The -admission fee was one guinea and everything was strictly conventional, after the English style. There was a man—the toastmaster — who stood behind the chair who would address the diners after this fashion: “I crave your attention. I ask you to drink to the health of her the queen. Fill the bumpers.” At an actor’s benevolent fund dinner given in London in 1891, With Henry Irving in the chair, cards were furnished each one present with blanks to be filled by Christian and surname, residence and by the pounds, shillings and pence, either donated or put down as annual subscription. At these English dinners the speeches have, of course, lots of meat in them, but they lack the gravy. They have a peculiar sort of help-nie-over-the-fence kind of limp. They are slow and loggy by the side of American style. The Frenchman, if he ba present, is so polite, with a dash of violet, you don’t know whether he is going to say it or not, but he always suggests it. Much depends upon the guest of these dinners. During the annual dinner of the Green Room club given at the Crystal Palace, London, ab which among others were present Wilson Barrett, Cornyns Carr, the late Harry Petit, Arthur Jones and Sir Augustus Harris, with Mr. Bancroft, chairman, an animated discussion arose at the wrong time in which the guests even got to calling one another names. Finally when I was called on I found myself in a most trying position in the midst of the excitement. But luckily I was followed by that king of story tellers, Nat Goodwin, who soon put them all in a good humor. By the way, it.was Nat who said that “wit is the power to say what everybody else would have said, if he had thought of it.”

In my remarks about Englishmen I must except Sir Edwin Arnold who is a prince of talkers as, also, is Henry Irving. Sir Edwin, speaking of Mr. Gladstone said that the premier lacked humor and that no one ever heard him make a witty remark, and further on in his talk said Sir Edwin; “Laughter lives next to the most tender tears.” I supposed he must get this exquisite aptness of speech from his gifted American wife. Many people have an idea that actors are poor talkers outside of their lines. The fact is they are becoming more adaptable every day. Mr. Irving can be very charming upon occasion, as he was at the dinner given him on his last visit to America by the Lotus club. What delicate humor this: “May I find even an increase of the consciousness of virtue which now and then animates you, for if it be a task oto climb up additional steps it shows an amount of self belief which experience alone can prove justified, when after such a banquet as to-night you are not afraid to venture down them. Again, I understand that an inquiring mind at Detroit has discovered that our friend Bacon wrote not only the whole of Shakespeare, but also Christopher Marlowe, Edmund Spencer, and Burton’s Anatomy of Melancholy. I mention this to show you that even in New York you don't know everything, and that it is possible that you may wake one morning to leqrn that the spirit of Bacon dictated the constitution of the United States. But limited as your knowledge may be, there is no limit to your good will and your good fellowshop.” At the Lambs club dinners actors are to be heard at their best, though the playrights are in the lead. There is no more lovely wit anywhere than is heard upon such occasions from Gus Thomas, Sydney Rosenfeld, Milton Lackaye, Bronson Howard, Charley Hoyt, Nat Goodwin, Gus. Thomas, the gentleman with the mellow passionate throw of the Hawaiian seas in his eloquence, covers more keys perhaps than any man in this city. Had he been a lawyer his fame as an orator would have been world-wide.

When an American gets up at these English dinners, the Englishmen regard him with wide-eyed wonder. They expect to see him “blanketed” and flop around like the Vigilant did when she dropped in a dead faint by the side of the Valkyrie in the first day’s race. They don’t see it; the American carries his sail full of wind and after one or two glasses of wine you see him setting his spinnaker and as he comes around the lightship, the Britishers are too dumb with astonishment except to grunt: “He’s a corker!” But the American has no cinch. Many of his most darling jokes faU as dead as mine did on Mr. Harrison. Of course, this does not apply to the Savage and Green Room clubs or clubs of that kind, where American humor has fought its way to the front and where by much practice the members, have come to know the places where common courtesy demands a laugh. But they are improving, as I have discovered during my visits to England for the last ten years-

It would not do to omit here Johnny Wise or CoL Fellows, the two repartee and epigram men. At the dinner given three years ago at the Astor house to Judge Pryor, where Dr. Depew spoke of Cleveland as the typical American, Johnny Wise dropped into this pleasantry concerning Judge Pryor: “A word as to the honored guest. What is the name of that opera in which a wild boar rushes across the stage with flames breathing from his nostrils? Well, the name doesn't matter, but whenever I witness that acene in it, I think of the manner in which Roger A. Pryor edited the Richmond Enquirer. That is the kind of fiery cuss he was.” Parke Godwin’s talks are full of meat, in fact he forgets himself and sometimes goes too long. Few men can make a quick speech. Murat Halstead can write better than he can speak, but when you know him you can forgive all this. Then let us be thankful for those dinners that after all give us the only true glimpses of men who otherwise would be unknown to their fellowa Long live dinners! Merrily yours,

MARSHALL P. WILDER.

HAD MET BEFORE.

But in Circumstances Not Condu* cive to Recognition. The drummer had for some time been watching a flashy-looking city crook playing a game of cards with a man on the sleeper, who might have been a farmer, and then again who might have been something else. All of a sudden, as the train pulled up at a station, the sharper made a wild break and rushed out of the car and off the platform, leaving everything. The other man simply smiled, and looked over at the drummer. “What the mischief was the matter with that party?” asked the drummer, taking a seat with the smiler. “There’s a story goes with that,” replied the smiler quietly. “Want to hear It?” “Indeed, I do.” “Here she goes, then. About five years ago I had some cattle to deliver in Chicago, and when I got there I stopped out by the stock yards in a hotel I found convenient. It wasn’t in a very good neighborhood, but I wasn’t looking for society fixings, so I didn’t care much. I had some money and a fine watch, and once or twice during the evening, as I sat around the barroom, I noticed I was being watched by several of the loafers about the place. When I went up to my room I locked the door and bolted it and took a look out of the window to see what was outside. I found it opened out onto a sort of shed about eight feet below, and that ran down within climbing distance of the ground. I took this observation so as to know where I was going to be at in case of a fire. Then I went to bed, leaving the window up, as it was a hot night. “I don’t know how long it was after I had been asleep that some one awakened me. At first I thought I was dreaming, but just as I tried to go to sleep again I heard the noise once more, and this time I didn’t try to go to sleep. I got up and went over toward the window with a sixinch knife in my hand that I thought would come handy in case I found at the window what I thought I would. It was quite dark on that side of the house, and when I got up close I could hear two men whispering on the shed roof. I listened and heard one tell the other to stoop down and he would climb on his shoulders and from there pull himself up to my window. By this time I was standing by the window ready to meet my visitor as soon as he came. While I was thinking whether to kill him or not, I saw his fingers slide up over the window sill seeking for a good grip. Then they stretched down tight as if the man were testing his strength for the final pull. At this moment I reached forward, and with a swish I whacked two of those fingers off with my knife. I kept very quiet about it too, but my visitors didn’t, and they rolled and tumbled oft that roof in a manner worth coming all that way to see. Then I wont back to bed, but I fastened down the window. Next morning when I got up, which was just at daybreak, for I had my cattle to look after, I went to the window to see what was left of the wreck, and I saw two fingers on the sill. The owner had forgotten them in his hurry the night before, and it struck me then for the first time that I ought to take charge of them, so that if they were ever called for I could return them. “Well, I took them along with me, and as soon as I could get into a drug store I got a bottle filled with spirits and put them into it. Until to-day I have not been able to find anybody that I thought might want them, although I have carried them ever since when I go anywhere, and while that duffer you saw trying to work me first shuffled his cards I noticed that he was short two fingers. About the time he thought he had me I pulled the bottle out of my pocket, and, sticking it right at him, I asked him if he didn’t think he had better see if he couldn’t fit them on to the stumps he had. It took him about a minute to catch on, but when he did, well, you know the rest. I guess he must have been the chap that tried to climb in my window that night,” and as the man smiled the drummer wondered how it was "that truth was oftentimes stranger than fiction, and handed the bottle, with its two ghastly and silent witnesses, back to the owner.—[Detroit Free Press.

Things Were Different Then.

“The traveling men of to-day don’t know what hard lines are,” said Thomas L. Martin, who runs a bookstore at the corner of 12th and Locust streets, to me the other day. I was a traveling man myself way back yonder in the ’6os, and I think we had about as hard a row to hoe as the next fellow. We used to start from Kansas City in wagons and drive around on those Kansas prairies for six or eight weeks at a time. Tb didn’t have hotels out there in those days, either, and we thought ourselves in luck to get to sleep in the hay in some man’s barn. On other nights we would camp in our wagon. We did our own cooking, and sometimes washed our own clothes. I tell you, the traveling man of to-day hat a reguJaf snap.” [Kansas City Time*.

REED AND HIS SPEECH

MAKES NO EFFORT TO DEFEND M'KINLEYISM, Neither Does He Propose a Restoration of the McKinley Tariff—The Revival of BuHine«H Not Due to the Republican Victory. Satire and Sophistry. Ex-Speaker Reed mixes more brains in his speeches than infest other Republicans who are now addressing the people. But the essential weaknes of the Republican position reduces even Reed to the necessity of sophistry and mere satire. When, for example, he ponderously declares that “this country is in favor of the doctrine of protection,” the implication is that it has not protection under the existing law. Mr. Reed of course knows, and it is a pity that a man of his intellectual resources has not the honesty or the courage to admit it, that the new tariff is a high protective measure. It is much higher than the Morrill war tariff, higher than the tariff recommended by President Arthur,s protective commission, and nearly as high as the Republican tariff of 1883. If Mr. Reed means that this country believes in a 50 per cent, tariff, a monopolists' tariff, a McKinley tariff, he disregards two consecutive popular majorities of over 1,000,000 against that tariff. And it is worthy of note that Mr. Reed does not defend the McKkinley tariff nor propose its restoration. The ex-Speaker is not deluded and did not attempt to delude his hearers with the notion that the tidal wave this year is liable to be more permanent in its effects than others before it have been. "If we have wisdom for two years we will be trusted with more,” is his sensible admonition. And wisdom, according to his conception, consists in “lying low.” This is not courageous. It is hardly possible. The Republicans in the next Congress cannot sit with folded hands and bated breath. They, cannot win the Presidency by concealing from the people their purpose and policy in case they should obtain control of the Government. In Mr. Reed’s plea for more teaching, more facts, more object-lessons, we cordially concur. The new tariff will be an Instructor. If it shall revive commerce, increase industry, cheapen prices, and restore wages, Mr. Reed’s sophisms and satire will be in vain. If it shall fail to do this it cannot be defended. The experiment of a partial measure of tariff reform is assured. Both parties will have to abide by the result. —New York World.

Explaining Wage Advances. Among the score or more of wage advances in large mills, reported since the new tariff bill took effect, is one by the Whiting Manufacturing Company of New York. The New York Press of Nov. 18, in reporting this advance, makes an interesting comment and admission. It says: “The restoration of wages to the former standard is believed to be the direct result of the recent overwhelming Republican victories. In this particular case some four hundred men are benefited thereby. The assurance of a Republican Congress leads the firm to believe there will be no further reduction in tariff duties, and they therefore look for a speedy revival in business.” The heading over the article removes all doubt, and says the restoration is “directly due to the recent Republican victories.” Lt is probable that a majority of the gullible readers of the high protectionist paper will believe the explanations of the Press. But there must be a considerable minority who wlli ask themselves, “Why should this company advance wages on the strength of higher duties three or four years hence?” Oh, I see; wages are not advanced in anticipates! of higher duties, but on the belief that “there will be no further reduction in tariff duties.” “But," says this intellgent minority, “isn’t that a queer explanation to find In my protectionist paper? With a 45 per cent, duty on silverware wages were reduced; now with a 35 per cent duty wages are advanced. My protection logic may be out of repair, but it seems to me that it would be proper and honest to credit such wage advances to tariff reduction, and to say that it is probable that a still greater reduction would have caused a still greater advance.” The people are not all fools, even though the Republicans did have a big majority at the last election. They cannot be caught with sucli thin sophistry and cheap buncombe as this is.

Did the Republican Victory Do It? And now the Republicans papers print all the news of the revival of business that is In progress, just such news as they have been suppressing for the past few weeks, and attributing It all to the Republican victories in the November elections. How little confldenc these editors have In their own protective tariff. According to them, the tariff has no effect at all—it is only Republicanism that counts. We had over a year of concededly hard times, all under a protective tariff, and the same tariff which they claimed to be absolutely perfect. They allowed that the tariff was all right, but attributed the panic and hard times to the Democratic administration. Then the McKinley tariff was repealed, and business at once began to Improve. Tills they denied at first, but now concede, and attribute it all to the election of a Republican House of Representatives. This House will not meet for more than a year, and when it does meet cannot change the tariff or do anything else. Yet these papers claim that the Republican victory alone can nullify a tariff that is sure to be in operation for the next three years and which they claim to be the worst possible, so that business flourishes under it much better than during the last year of McKinleyism. If they are right, surely the tariff has very little effect on business. And a tariff that only needs a fruitless Republican victory to go with it to make business hum, cannot be so very bad, even from a protectloiiist view.—Rockland Opinion. A Suggestion to Brice and Gorman And now comes Senator Brice and tells the country who, In his opinion, will be the next Democratic nominee

for the Presidency. We may not be able to catch precisely what the wild tidal waves are saying, but we fall to detect In any quarter a call for Senator Brice to speak for the Democratic party. The one thing which Senator Brice could do with most grace at present would be to go into a secret session, behind closed doors, with Senator Gor-man.—Courier-Journal. Senator Sherman'- Interpretation, It is significant that although Senator John Sherman lives in Mr. McKinley’s own State he does not share McKinley’s illusions. He does not discover In the results of last week’s elections any sign or symptom of a popular demand for the restoration of McKinleyism. In his World Interview, published yesterday, he said: “I do not regard the present result as an indorsement of the McKinley bill or a demand on the part of the people for radical tariff legislation." Further than that, and perhaps even more significantly, he points out the fact that tariff legislation of a disturbing character is Impossible during Mr. Cleveland’s term, and pretty plainly Intimates that even if the Republicans secure full control of the Government by the elections of 1896—which he does not regard as by any means certain—he would not even then favor a return to McKlnleylsm: "I would not favor any great Increase in duties. On the stump In the campaign I said very plainly that I was a moderate protectionist, and wanted only such duties as would insure a fair rate of wages for the workingmen of the country.” This undoubtedly reflects the mind of the people just now. They administered a crushing defeat to McKlnleyism in 1892. Having got rid of it and put the question out of discussion for some years to come, they have in 1894 expressed at the polls their dissatisfaction with Democratic shortcomings. What they will do to the Republicans in 1896 is, as Senator Sherman suggests, dependent upon how the Republicans shall behave in the meantime. One thing is certain. They do not want the tariff issue revived just now. —New York World. Watchful and Independent Voters. The most remarkable feature of the elections in recent years has been the wide fluctuations in the party vote. This development of independence produced the great Republican reverse In 1860. That party promised In 1888 to correct the tariff, to practice economy, and to reform the civil service. No sooner had its leaders obtained power than they proceeded to put up the war duties, to increase the expenditures to a billion dollars, and to indulge in what George William Curtis called “a carnival of spoils.” The Independent voters of their own party smote them hip and thigh in the elections of 1890, and turned them entirely out in 1892. This year the dissatisfaction is rife among Democrats, and their leaders are buried under an avalanche. The lesson is a wholesome one to both parties. It shows that party ties do not hold voters as strongly as they used to do. It teaches the leaders that they cannot disregard their pledges with impunity. Security In power begets contempt of the people. It breeds corruption. Insecurity reminds the bosses that the people are their masters. It keeps them on their good behavior or relegates them to the rear. Frequent elections are the safety-valves and governors of our political machinery. Fluctuations In the vdte show not that the voters are fickle, but that they are watchful—not that they are indifferent, but that they are exacting. The warning of 1890, 1892, and 1894 Is the same. It says to party leaders, Be true or you will be punished. The people rule; they are not ruled.

Disgraceful Tactics. Here Is the way the successful calamity howlers give evidence of reform. The joyous Intelligence herein set forth had Its first appearance as a head In the Inter Ocean: MILLS BEGIN TO HUM. Business in Manufacturing Centers Shows Signs of Life. LABOR IS PLEASED. Proposed Reductions of Wages Will Not Be Made. * •' Glass, Tin and Iron Works at Pittsburg to Be Put in Operation Right Away. Pittsburg, Pa., Nov. B.—(Special Telegram.)—The election of Republican Congressmen all over the country has had a good effect on the window-glass trade. Etc., etc. Of course the “proposed reductions of wages will not be made.” They were proposed only to scare workingmen into voting the Republican ticket. The more vital question, however, is whether the promised Increase of wages in divers protected industries will be made. The Times for its part trusts they will, however much such action may inure to the benefit of the party now suddenly pitched into partial power.—Chicago Times. Iron Duties Unnecessary. “The general understanding among manufacturers,” says ex-Senator Warner Miller in along interview concerning the Republican tariff policy, published by the Tribune, “is that most of the duties on iron and steel manufactures are sufficient for the protection of those engaged in their production.” This utterance is not quite in harmony with the Republican cry during the recent campaign, but the exSenator does not overlook the fact that the prices of the fundamental iron products in this country to-day are practically on a level with the prices of similar products in Europe. The price of Besemer pig iron at Pittsburg is almost exactly equal to the price of such pig iron in England, and the cost of producing foundry pig iron and the selling price are lower In the Alabama district than in any other part of the world. Important branches of the iron and steel industry in this country would not be affected injuriously if two-thirds of the duties imposed on foreign products like their own by the new tariff should be cut off.—New York Times. A Boston naturalist, with a tuning fork, has discovered that crickets chirp in unison, and that their note is E natural.

NOTES ANO COMMENTS.

The British Government has just interfered with the free exercise of religion in India by prohibiting the practice of hook swinging at religious festivals. By inserting a hook attached to a rope in his flesh and then swinging in the air for a few minutes the devotee believed that he promoted the cause of religion. Clermont, a little town in Florida, revels in the luxury of two mayors. Last June Mr. Todd was elected to the office without a dissenting vote. He was away from home at the time, and did not return for ten days. The ordinances require the Mayor to qualify within three days after the election. Mr. Goodenough, who was Mayor last year, holds on to the office. Horses are very cheap in Oregon just now. A herd of 800 head, just off the range, were sold at an average price of $5 each recently, and a few days ago, at a sale of fine stock near Portland, a splendid matched team of sorrel mares were sold for S4O, and a big bay horse brought only $22.50. Half a dozen years ago such horses would have sold readily for SIOO to $l5O each. The sinking of the Japanese warship Tsukuba by collision with the steamship Zambesi in Kobe Harbor, reported in recent dispatches, is not a serious loss to the war strength of Japan. The Tsukuba was a wooden vessel of 1,980 tons displacement, carrying only eight ordinary breechloading rifles and other guns, and was used as a training ship for cadets. She was only 194 feet in length and 250-horse power. Thk National Game Bird and Fish Protective Association is moving to secure greater uniformity and effectiveness in the game laws of the United States. It is a good cause and deserves the support of all sportsmen. Unfortunately, In many States Where natural conditions are not averse to the cultivation of game the total lack of protection has resulted almost in the depopulation of both field and stream, It is not too late, however, to arrest the destruction. There are more than 5,000,000 children in the elementary schools In England, 890,000 of whom pay for their tuition, and of these 500,000 pay no more than a penny a week, according to a recent official statement. Ot the “voluntary schools, ” In which the whole or part of the tuition is paid by the parents, 5,000 receive from 10 to 20 shillings a head for the children in attendance, 4,000 between 5 and 19 shillings, and 5,000 under 5 shillings. In the meat shops of towns in New Mexico and Arizona the visitor from the East is apt to notice that the dressed carcasses of sheep have a tuft of wool still attached to the head and tall. This is left by the butcher to assure the customer that it is mutton and not goat flesh that he is buying, (or in these Territories many flocks of goats are reared and pastured by the small Mexican ranchmen to be killed for food for the poorer natives. Roast or stewed kid, with Chili popper sauce, is an esteemed dinner dish at the tables of many well-to-do American and Spanish-American citizens. The Emperor of China Is the subject, if not the hero, of a story that is circulating in Peking. A palace eunuch, it is said, recently delivered a letter or dispatch meant for the imperial eye alone into the hands of one of the ladies of the harem. Thereupon his majesty seized a sword and immediately decapitated the offending messenger. The people ot Peking are said to speak of the Incident with undisguised satisfaction, regarding it as o proof that the Emperor has a mind of his own after all, and may yet succeed in breaking through the trammels of the silken net which has hitherto completely hindered the development of the individuality.

There is a “whole” milk treatment as well as a skim milk cure, and an advocate of the former says that a patient requires from five to six quarts daily while confined to bed, and from one to four quarts more when working. To digest all this, free action of the skin, lungs and other organs must be secured by dally warm baths and an unlimited supply of fresh air night and day. Under this treatment the heart quickens, the alimentary canal enlarges and its glands increase in size and number, and th 6 arteries enlarge and furnish to all parts of the body an increased supply of blood. A patient with a supposed mortal disease was cured under this treatment between July 15 and Oct. 28, and during that time increased in weight from 106 pounds to 129 pounds 14 ounces.

A recent Board of Trade inquiry into the hours of labor of railroad employees in England has brought to light some cases of flagrant abuse. On ope occasion a signalman was on duty 26J hours and on the following four days worked from thirteen to fifteen hours a day. Other signalmen on the same line were required to work from sixteen to nineteen hours. One switchman was at his post 16f hours, and on Sundays, when the labor is light, others had from eighteen to nineteen hours' work. An engine-cleaneron one line had been kept at work for 84 consecutive hours, part of the time as fireman; and both engineers and firemen were sometimes on duty from 18 to 24 hours. As a rule the hours of the men were kept down on all the roads to the legal twelve hours. Four miners have just arrived at Tacoma, Wash., from Alaska, bringing each SIOO,OOO in gold dust, which they said was the result of two seasons’ work in the Yukon country. They said that all the old-timers who have.been long on the ground and hfive mastered its peculiarities have struck it rich during the last season. There is good evidence of this in the fact that a steamer called at Tacoma a few days ago, en route to San Francisco from Alaska, having aboard about $200,000 in gold dust, which, her officers said, was a usual load this season'. Some big nuggets, averaging twenty or thirty ounces, have been found. But the mining is exceedingly difficult. About 800 miners will winter in the Yukon district this year. The influx of miners

has been so great that thero is likely to be a great scarcity of provisions before spring. A big rush to the region is looked for next year, because the placers have panned out so well. Higher than St. Peter’s at Rome, higher than the Strasburg Cathedral, higher than the Great Pyramid, higher than the Cologne Cathedral will be the top of the statue of William Penn in Philadelphia within a few weeks. The hat of the good Quaker will overtop every other structure in this or any other country, except the Eiffel tower at Paris and the Memorial shaft to Washington at the capital; but as neither of these is a building, comparison is hardly fair. The Washington monument is 555 feet high, the Eiffel tower 984 feet. The crown of William Penn’s hat will jbe 547 feet from the ground. The next structure in height, the Cologne Cathedral, is 510 feet. The City Hall of Philadelphia is an Immense structure of marble and brick and iron. It has been building since 1871. ill main tower on the north side of the building is 90 feet square at the base. Great marble blocks rest upon a foundation of eight feet of concrete laid 20 feet below the surface of the ground. Some of these blocks weigh five tons. The walls in places are 22 feet through. The whole building is 470 by 486 feet. It is the largest single structure on the continent. In Belgium a new system of voting has recently been tried with some very surprising results. A few years ago only one in fifty of the population had a right to vote. The liberals demanded universal suffrage and obtained it by bulldozing the parliament. Every man was made a voter. A single man had one vote, a married man two, and the owner of a certain amount of property three. Then, a compulsory voting law was passed. At the recent election the liberals who were responsible for this change , Jost heavily. The conservatives and socialists were the gainers. “The compulsory system,” says the Atlanta Constitution, “worked badly. Citizens who refused to vote on the ground that they were dissatisfied with the candidates and platforms were arrested, driven into th© polling booths, and ordered not to come out until they had made up their ballots. If they persisted in not voting they wore sent to jail. Naturally, all Belgium is in an uproar,and it is probable that the compulsory system of voting will be abolished. The people have come to the conclusion that when a citizen is unwilling to support any of the candidates it is an outrage to lock him up.” One of the oldest Methodist ministers in harness in the United States is the Rev. Stephen R. Beggs, of th* Rock River Conference, Illinois. He is 911 years old, and sound in mind, wind and limb. He was born March 8, 1801, and began his ministry in Clark county, Mo., in 1822. His circuit led him out of Missouri and into Indiana and Arkansas. He traveled a circuit there for nine years on horseback, when he was fortunate enough to have ahorse, but not infrequently on foot. As the conference forbade circuit riders to marry until they had completed their course of study and been admitted in full connection, he applied himself assiduously to his books, was admitted to conference, and married, fn 1881, Miss Elizabeth Lambeth Heath. Immediately after tills Mr. Beggs was transferred to Illinois and became a circuit rider in the Tazewell district. He then began to hear of Fort Dearborn and Lake Michigan, and had a great desire to see the lake. He eventually made a>. trip to Chicago for the purpose, and, of course, preached a sermon before he left. His congregation consisted' of twenty-five persons, assembled in. Dr. Harmon’s room in the fort. That was in 1881.

The French press is devoting m good deal of attention to the address recently made before the Sociological Congress at Paris on the effect of education and crime. Since the passage of the act of 1870 the number of children in English schools has Increased from 1,500,000 to 5,000,000,. and the number of persons in prison has fallen from 12,000 to 5,000. The yearly average of persons sentenced to penal servitude for the worst crimes has declined from 2,000 to 800, while juvenile offenders have fallen from 14,000 to S,(XX). Sir John Lubbock sees in these figures a confirmation of Victor Hugo’s saying, that “he who opens a school closes a prison.” In France, according to the Temps, criminal statistics and the statements of magistrates show that, as schools have been opened prisons have filled, and that the diffusion of education has been accompanied, apparently with increase of crime, and especially of juvenile crime. In attempting to account for this phenomenons the Temps points out that in France, under the republic, education is simply intellectual instruction. In England there is not only instruction, buttraining. Moral and religious influences are brought to bear upon the children.

Her Body Turns to Stone.

The members of the Tyson family have had the remains of Willjam Tyson and Miss Jane Tyson exhumed and transferred from the original burial place in Laurel, Md. William Tyson had been buried thirty-one years, and Jane Tyson sixteen years. Very little remained of William Tyson, but the woman’s remains were in a complete state of preservation. Upon removing the covering the body was disclosed as white as marble. A relative present declared it was a perfect specimen of petrification. The remains of both were reburied in one grave, and it required the strength of eight strong men to lift the casket, which was placed in a w’ooden box. The weight was thought to be over 500 pounds.—[Chicago Herald.

Why the Sea Is Salt.

The ocean is salt because of the various saline matters, chiefly chloride, it contains. These saline elements may be derived from geological formations consistingin great part of such elements, but these formations are known to have been deposited by ancient oceans, so that the real source of the saltness is not aotually known. —[Atlanta Constitution Common carriers are not liable fa* rud» mm of M.Uw passenger*.