Democratic Sentinel, Volume 18, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 November 1894 — Little Laughs. [ARTICLE]

Little Laughs.

“On what does Skiftins base hi* suit for libel?” “On a casual reference to him as the ideal juror in a capital case.”—Washington Star. “What are the relations now between your wife and yourself?” “Oh, only her mother, two uncles, a sister and a few cousins.”—Detroit Free Press. Jinkbots —“You complain of the expense of a typewriter; why don’t you have your wife do it?” Henpeck —“I can’t dictate to my wife.”—Syracuse Post Mother— “ Why don’t you play with that nice little boy across the street?” Small Son—“Us boys is boycottin’ him.” “Why, what for?” “He doesn’t freckle.”—Good News. Wife —“ The doctor thinks you have enlargement of the heart.” Husband—“l thought hb must imagine 1 had something of the sort by the size of the hill he sent in. ” Truth At a Prize Shooting: (after repeated misses) —Donnerwetter! If those rascally fellows haven’t gone and stuck up the target in the wrong place again.”—Unsere Gesellschaft. An absent minded Southwark woman went to bank the other day to have cashed a check her husband sent her. She indorsed it thus: “Your loving wife, Mary Miller.”— Philadelphia Eecord. Pater (entering suddenly) “Phur-r-r! What do you mean, sir, by thus embracing my daughter? Ethel, I am surprised.” Ethel (bravely)—“So are we, poppa, dear; so are we.”—Truth. Income-tax Assessor— “ You can’t claim exemption, Mr. Smiles. Why, man, you must spend $7,000 a year the way you live.” Smiles—“l know that, sir; but I live beyond my income.”—Harper’s Bazar. “I am strong in my love for you." the youth protested. But when she bade him open the window in the first-class railway coach in which they were journeying he fled in despair—Detroit Tribune. “What’s the outlook for a newspaper in this town?” “First-class. We’ve got a map of a railroad, six candidates for postmaster, an’ it ain’t ten miles to where the circus shows!”—Atlanta Constitution. Indicative “What makes you think Jack Youngley is going to propose to you?” “Why, we were dancing the other night and I complimented him upon the easy'way in which he held me. 'Oh, yes,’ he said, ‘it’s always easy for me to hold my own.’” —Brooklyn Life. “The gentleman you see pacing up and down yonder as if he were mentally deranged Is Schmidt, the famous accountant.” “What is the matter with him?” “He was trying yesterday to unravel the oomplicat:ons of his wife’s housekeeping book. ” —Handelszeitung.